Disappointment
It's difficult to choose the correct word, after reading up on everything happening within the competitive Smash Brothers community. That was my main form of escapism for the last few years, I grew to love watching so many those streamers, and to find it's essentially a pedophile ring...it's impossible to process.
As someone who experienced violation when I was a younger teen, I emphasize with those hurt and I hope everybody who was victimized will be able to find solace.
But it's so confusing and disappointing. How so many of the names and personalities I loved and sometimes got laughs out of ended up being monsters, and how something as innocent as playing a video game could be host to something so vile. Disappointment is fitting.