Fanfiction Lounge

[MegaDitto]

Okay, which fan-fic do you think is best? Meh, I can't think of no topic. Help me. o.0

How about a roamce story about two people like Romeo and Juliet.

 

[Anacortes]

That's nice, but nobody has made one so far, have they? Maybe you can do that, MegaDitto!

As for my favourite, is "Revelations from the grave", by Shadow of Ash.

 

[MegaDitto]

That's nice, but nobody has made one so far, have they? Maybe you can do that, MegaDitto!

As for my favourite, is "Revelations from the grave", by Shadow of Ash.

I suck at stories.But I would stay to help.SOA made a horror story so make one like about a curse or something like the Ring.

 

[Anacortes]

I think I'll do just great with one at a time. Give a try, I'm sure your results will turn out better than you expected!

 

[Natsuki]

You know what I want to see? I want Claire to make a fan fic. XD She's always raving on how awsome everyone else's are when I'm sure she'd be perfectly capable of writing a great fic. ^^

Well, Metto, I think you can make a fine fan fic if you really work at it. ^^ Remember, I'm always here for help and advice if ya need it. ^.~ That's mainly why I was modded here in the first place. XD

~Kelsey

 

[MegaDitto]

You know what I want to see? I want Claire to make a fan fic. XD She's always raving on how awsome everyone else's are when I'm sure she'd be perfectly capable of writing a great fic. ^^

Well, Metto, I think you can make a fine fan fic if you really work at it. ^^ Remember, I'm always here for help and advice if ya need it. ^.~ That's mainly why I was modded here in the first place. XD

~Kelsey

Its not that.I like potery better ^__^.I hope the story goes great Sissi.I am lookinf forward to it.

 

[Anacortes]

What story? If ya ask me, I beat Mori Seirei in making the seventh chapter. Of course if I was that slow the thread'd probably die. o.0
Claire make a fan-fic? That'd be cool, but not possible.

 

[oni flygon]

...now you guys have a Fanfiction Lounge... O__o;;

I wonder who will be the Frostweaver of this fanfiction lounge... >X3

 

[MegaDitto]

...now you guys have a Fanfiction Lounge... O__o;;

I wonder who will be the Frostweaver of this fanfiction lounge... >X3

Oh Oh.I can take that job.But who is he.

 

[oni flygon]

Oh just check out the fanfiction lounge there...
"His critics are basically an icy stab towards any amateur writer's chest..."
I don't think anyone could be like him... talented in criticizing... =D

 

[Anacortes]

He was an ex-mod I think..
Okay, you're hired. Wait a minute..*goes to call Mori Seirei*

 

[oni flygon]

Hiring critics? I though everyone has the freedom to be a critic here... XD
Besides, critics have to be good writers... and when I mean good, I mean good writers... *points at a bunch of writers that had their names in the Fanfiction of the Week*

 

[Anacortes]

I'd do bad being one, that's for sure. You'd do great.
Yeah, nice idea. Whoever thinks they're good enough just step up and take over.

 

[Natsuki]

What's all this jazz about frosty? No one's gonna be the major critic in here. XD We all help each other with writings. ^____^ Teamwork is much better than listening to the opinions of one writer's thoughts. XD That, my friends, will get you no where. ^.~

~Kelsey

 

[oni flygon]

I'm a mediocre writer... I'm really not good with English anyways... =.=

 

[Natsuki]

Now now, Niko! I've seen your poetry and you know how much I adore it. <3<3 Besides, when's your next great piece coming out? I crave more! ^o^

~Kelsey

 

[oni flygon]

Now now, Niko! I've seen your poetry and you know how much I adore it. <3<3 Besides, when's your next great piece coming out? I crave more! ^o^

~Kelsey

I'm kinda working on it... >.>;;
I'm just taking a break from this horrid English essay...

 

[Lily]

We love you, Niko.

[/random] 8) squee

This sounds like a splendid idea~ if it worked for the Pokemon ff, it'll work here in OW. XD

 

[Morkula]

Well, I've started working on my LOTR fic again, so I'm going to be posting it up here. I put up the first three chapters yesterday, and I might work on Chapter 4 tonight if I have the chance.
My problem's description- no matter how hard I try, I just can't seem to put enough into my writing. Pretty much anyone who's ever read my writing has said that. =/

 

[Frostweaver]

@ Ties of Water and Fire

-err... the lady just gave birth and the man is twirling her around O.o; I feel so sorry for her... (minor thing... just against common sense)

-porcelaineous is the adjective, and porcelain is only the noun... be careful to use the right form of your words

he cried in a voice filled with anguish, in a voice of a man that had everything and lost it.

-semicolon should be used in place of the comma here

-the poetic prophecy is really stretched right now in terms of its rhythm... poems do not necessarily have to rhyme, but they (almost always unless you're famous enough to start breaking rules) must have a certain rhythm... at least try to have roughly the same amount of syllables in certain rhythm scheme

-parts of the prophecy is contradicting each other... bringing the end of the age as well as "turning out right" so that needs a little tweaking...

-"sweetheart" isn't the most appropriate tone and diction used for married couples. Sweetheart got a "younger" connotation to it.

-Kyogre not Kyorge... though really Kyogre is not an ogre at all (bad translation on 4Kids part)

-seems like ch.2 is a bit rushed... we hardly know anything, and 1 of our 2 protagonists is already presented with the major conflict already... certainly can't we use some time to develop a bit more character traits first? The earlier part about how the other Aqua members are insulting Yoshiko is an excellent opportunity to be expanded in order to include a bit of background to Yoshiko and her character

-don't suddenly use 2nd person words... use "one" in order to stay 3rd person view

-Yoshiko's thoughts should switch to 1st person because it's her thoughts... if her thoughts include thinking about herself, then it should use 1st person

-the girls are twins, but one is sixteen and the other is seventeen...? Err...

-details are definitely missing with just how Maxie is going to train Yoshie... what is happening? That can certainly be expanded...

-how did the girls suddenly understand how to control the orb, or how to use the orb at all? Not once did the story talked about this fact, nor did the 2 characters ever questioned about it, which is exceedingly strange...

-currently, Maxie and Archie are trait-less characters, which really need to be changed... hopefully we'll know more about them as soon as possible.

Good Points
-usage of poetry
-prequel successfully draws readers' attention

Focuses to Improve On
-character development
-further expansion of events and details
-story structure: focus more on the how and why

Grammar Basics: 9/10
Characterization: 12/20
Coherence/Readability: 10/10
Tone/Structure: 12/20
Diction: 13/20
Effort/Originality: 16/20
Lit. Device bonus: +1 (poetry)

Total: 73