Get off My Bench!(~Revived~)

[Maraala]

Sammy lures you away with Dell Honne fanart

Sammy then sits on the bench while hugging a Rin plushie

 

[Shanghai Alice]

*Rips a sukima open above the bench*

*Drops Rin about twenty feet away from the bench, after breaking her Border of Reality and Fantasy*

*Sits on the bench as Sammyskitty runs after Rin*

 

[Haspop]

Still gazing at gorgeous Dell Honne fanart, I walk up to the bench. I offer Shanghai Alice some cookies. I sit on the bench next to Shanghai Alice, eating my cookies. Once my friend is distracted, I shove Shanghai Alice into the conveniently placed river next to the bench.

That seems like overkill, but whatever.

 

[Maraala]

After kidnapping Rin Sammy places a trail of candy leading away from the bench. You then follow it, eating each piece as you get farther away from the bench. Sammy then sits on the bench while petting Rin. Thanks for the Rin, Shangy!

Very stalker-ish

 

[Shanghai Alice]

Shanghai Alice, displeased with being pushed into a river, calls on the help of the Native Gods, Kanako and Suwako, to get revenge on whoever is sitting on the bench.

Just to make sure that the victim offender is killed no less than three times, Ran and Chen arrive via Sukima.

The four beings, and Shanghai, slowly stalk up behind the bench, cloaked by more of Yukari's magic.

On the count of three, Ran, Suwako, and Kanako throw all their magic at the bench, not only incinerating it, but practically removing its matter from this plane of existence.

Fortunately, Kanako makes a new snake-themed bench, which I place my egotistical bottom on.

 

[Arc]

Well playing U.N Owen was Her? I gently push you off the bench.

While I sit on it, with my Monocle, top hat, and cup of tea.

 

[Haspop]

While you aren't looking, I dump Tabasco sauce into your Tea. Your eyes tear up from the spicy awesomeness, so you flee in search of water. Then, I, Haspop, lay down on the bench taking up the entire bench like a jerk.

 

[Shanghai Alice]

I use this fact to my advantage, and lay down a Master Spark, abusing the row damage formulas for MASSIVE DAMAGE.

I then Master Spark the corpse, just to be sure, and throw it in the sewage dump that's placed dangerously close to the river.

And then I bond myself to the bench.

 

[Pokestick good times.]

I bring an Easter carrot and a knife.

The knife is used to cut the ropes, and you're being whacked by the Easter carrot.
And as this item, while being called a carrot, is actually somewhat of a large club with a tassle and metal plates attached, you're hurt badly. ^_^

 

[Haspop]

Since you didn't actually sit on the bench, I take my place on the bench while you beat Shanghai Alice.

Then, I listen to Green Day. While sitting on the bench.

 

[Pokestick good times.]

I tell you there's a girls over there who says GD sucks.

I take your place while you run towards the hole filled with spikes that I disguised as a girl.

 

[Haspop]

After introducing the haters to- oh wait, those are death spikes. Dang.

"Nice death spike," I say to you. Then, I gently shove you off of the bench. I take my place on the bench.

 

[Kitsune Genetica]

I duly kick you off the bench into the aforementioned pit of death spikes, and sit down and relax to the sound of your untimely demise. =P

 

[Marowak10]

I duly kick you off the bench into the aforementioned pit of death spikes, and sit down and relax to the sound of your untimely demise. =P

I then hire Shoop da Woop to massacre anyone who dares to come near the bench, unless giving me a real cake XD

 

[Kitsune Genetica]

I point out the fact that such a thing is illogical and cannot exist. 'Shoop da Woop' disappears.
I then give you cake laced with deadly poison, and kick you into the death pit, before sitting down.

 

[Haunted House of Onyx]

I shove you over and say "Thanks for saving my seat" and plop by rear end on the bench which I call my own

 

[Maraala]

Sammy perceives you as a zombie and shoots you in the face with a shotgun

Sammy then sits down with Rin

 

[Haunted House of Onyx]

I come back from the dead, shoot you back and throw boiling oil and electrical wires on your corpse...

Then I happily sit down <3 and my life as a zombie expires.

 

[Maraala]

Sammy picks you up and throws you into the zombie-infested Nightclub basement
Sammy thens sits casually on the bench

 

[Melody]

*Entices Sammyskitty into a "free manicure" booth with lots of obsessive nail artists that will insist on painting every one of her nails cutely and differently and tie her down so she can't mess them up while they dry. >D*

*sits down on the bench peacefully* I like nonviolent measures. :P