Help with the story.

[mzmingle]

My friend, who is rebooka3, has written a story where the Voice kills Alice's parents, and is aiming to kill Alice soon. what she wants to know, is should the voice stop at the parents, or kill others in her family?

thanks
mzmingle~

 

[Astinus]

It's difficult to tell when there's not more information about the story in general. You can't just post and say "hey, what happens in the middle of the story?" when no one knows what the rest of the story is about. Because really, why is the Voice targeting Alice?

Is there a need to kill others in the family? A rise in the tension of the story? Or will the death of all the uncles, aunts, cousins, whatever not make much of a difference to Alice? Does the Voice have any reason to kill the other family members? Or is the death of the parents enough?

There's no good solid answer one can give because we don't know the story. We need more information in order to understand.

 

[Level101Blastoise]

just ask yourself this does killing other members of her family add any significance to the story? Does it move the story forward? How does the killing of others affect her vs the affect of having her parents just killed?

for example:
While they were vacationing at their seaside house. The voice kills her parents as they were coming back from the docks, Alice sees this runs out toward them. The voice drags her into the water, they fight, Alice grabs chains tied to the masts of the docks choking the voice and drowning him.

Later when she thinks she is safe living at her aunts house she finds her aunt and cousin dead in the same manner the voice killed her parents.

See how there was cause and effect between these killings? If youre just adding death for the sake of death then I would say scrap it.

 

[Fire Heart]

Well, i would make the voice kill other family members later on, it will leave the readers hooked to find out what is going to happen next.