How mentally strong are you?

[Alexander Nicholi]

In reading about the five stages of loss and grief, on Psych Central I found a blog post detailing five obstacles to achieving mental strength.

Out of the five, discern which you have tackled and which you haven't, share which, and explain why you're on top of some, why you're still under others, etc.


As for me, I think I've gotten four of those five things down. The last one, letting go of the past, is the largest problem of mine, but not so much in the abstract as it is with something specific of mine... which relates to the other article I mentioned earlier. Attachment is a really rare thing for me and it's adhesion is hard to manage. :\

 

[Astraea]

I am mentally strong in almost all things since I had many past experiences on all of these things and I learned how to taking experience from anything too happens and taking teachings from anything bad happens.

 

[Lotus the Cat]

If I'm honest I'm guilty of all of those things on occasion. When I get really stressed out I feel the desire to relinquish responsibility and may blame others in the heat of the moment for stupid things. I'm also more likely to take things personally.

Sometimes I daydream about the future and the past. The only thing I miss in the past though is my cat Lotus. She's been gone almost 2 years now and I'm still not over it.

 

[curiousnathan]

I'm guilty of 2/5 of them...so I'd say I'm pretty mentally strong. I used to be seriously strong to the point of being stubborn years ago...but that's faded (unfortunately?) over time.

 

[s0nido]

I'd say that I'm guilty of all of those things every now and then to some degree (except off-loading responsibility, one of my principles is to always find out how I am responsible for something and what I could do to fix it). With regards to letting go of the past, I think it's impossible for anyone to completely forget the bad things that have happened to them, and I'm no different. I don't really hold grudges or constantly regret my past actions, but I do like to revisit the past every now and then and think about what I could've done differently. I don't think that's unhealthy, though.

 

[£]

Mainly forecasting is what I'm guilty of. But it's not like I take my eye off the present... it's always a good idea to have a few possibilities considered for any potential plan. I guess I am a little bit prone to the others on a bad day, but otherwise I'd say I have good mental fortitude. I WILL STAND MY GROUND.

 

[Bellsprout]

I've tackled all of these in the past few years because I've been on a journey to better myself. I think the ones I still haven't completely perfected are taking things personally and letting go of the past. I've noticed in the past when something bad would happen to me I would rerun it in my head forever and it would bother me to my core. Typically now it only bothers me for a few minutes and then I forget about it. But I feel like ultimately these things shouldn't bother me at all and I should just dismiss them as fast as they happened. Still a work in progress, but I feel confident that I can overcome it fully!

What I said above also correlates to letting go of the past. Like I said, I would just keep rerunning things and let it bother me over and over again when a new situation like it would appear. But I've learned to let go of a lot. Someone told me that by holding onto the things that people did to me in the past I was letting them win every time I held myself back because of them. That really stayed with me. I think I have let go of almost everything, but there are just behaviors that I notice I exhibit still out of nervousness from what I've experienced. It's hard to break learned behaviors that I've had since I was young, but I've broken through a lot of them (with lots of time and practice) so now sometimes it's just a matter of "what is me being overly shy/nervous" "what is me just being a normally reserved person"

I think I mainly just have to accept that I am a mostly shy/introverted person, but that there are levels of it. I've been a pretty bad level before, but I have overcome a lot and I am proud of lil me!!

 

[moon]

Reading through that, I seem to have the mental strength of a kitten 8)

Nah, at least I have let go of illusions to a good enough degree, and I don't try to forecast too much. What happens happens, I can only wish and guess things but I know that the world (and myself) is not perfect. I am also slowly learning to not hold on too much to the past.

I do take things personally easily though, and I realize that I'm off loading responsibility for things that go wrong too often. Hmm, I need to think more about that. It would probably do me good.

 

[Poki]

*reads*

Guess I'm mentally strong. Nothing new.

 

[Oryx]

I don't agree that that list is an accurate representation of what makes a person mentally strong.

 

[Nah]

I don't agree that that list is an accurate representation of what makes a person mentally strong.

Then what would be the qualities of a mentally strong person?

 

[Kura]

I don't agree that that list is an accurate representation of what makes a person mentally strong.

I agree. I think what makes a person mentally strong is how we react to the negative thoughts (like those outlined in that list) through our actions.

For some examples:

I think reflecting on the past can be very healthy and instead of letting it ruin your day, let it fuel your day. Spending the time to think about how things were is healthy in moderation, because it can also help you appreciate what you still have or what you want to achieve or have later on.
Others can definitely make me angry or make me feel a negative emotion. I can definitely say that "I am angry as a result of (this person's) actions" and I don't see how doing that makes me less mentally strong. However, shifting focus from that anger and trying to get through the day without projecting that anger onto anyone else is what makes you a stronger person IMO. It is stuff like that that makes you mentally strong.

Those are my thoughts.

 

[TRIFORCE89]

I agree with the off-loading responsibility and forecasting traits there, those aren't beneficial.

I'm indifferent on the dreaming thing. To dream doesn't necessarily mean thinking things will just work out though. I see it more like setting a goal you have to work towards. Just staying on the bright side of things though, keeping optimistic. As long as you're realistic in the end, it should be good. Far better than wallowing in the negative and sorrow or giving up at first hint of failure.

I would take things personally if it's something personal. I mean... why wouldn't I? If it's about me, directed at me, insulting me, or hurting me... then I'm sorry, but it's personal. o.o

And as others have already said, as long as you don't dwell on or live in the past you should fine. Learning from your mistakes, and having some sense of personal reflection is beneficial.

So... yeah, this list is not that great I think

 

[│Medic│]

Guilty of 2/5. Looks like I have some work to do ~

>.<"

 

[pkmin3033]

I've never thought of myself as particularly mentally strong, or whatever. It's not something I really think about. Life happens. You can either deal with it or brood over it. Sometimes I brood over things before moving on, which I guess would mean that I'm not as mentally strong as I ought to be, but...eh, everyone has times where they're just sick and tired of everything. Everyone has a bad day once in a while.

Different people have different experiences, and different methods of coping. What matters is that they can cope and carry on with life, regardless of what it throws at them. As long as people can do that, I don't think they need to worry about mentally strong they are. No matter how strong you are, you can't override your instincts and feelings with a logical, rational mindset all the time, and I don't think people should be berated for that, or labelled as "mentally weak" or whatever else. But the things described in that blog post, to me, are things that you learn naturally as you grow up (or SHOULD learn, I should say) and not things that are indicative of a strong mental state.

 

[Magic Christmas Lights]

Huh. I do all of these things. It just makes sense to me to think of things in that way on an intuitive level.

I am a very strong (resilient) person. I have been through a lot more than the average person, and I know it. I've been through things that would cause others to kill themselves or to never move forward with their life. I wish I was exaggerating here. I couldn't be prouder of myself.

 

[starseed galaxy auticorn]

It depends on my mood. I'm usually a very positive person, but that doesn't mean I don't have any downfalls in life either. In the past, I used to be really emotionally-unstable at the time. I've learned to cope with this though with medication. I have had moments where I've wanted to end my life before, and I used to self-harm as well. I eventually moved past this and have done everything I can to look at the positive sides of my life. For example: My boyfriend. <3

I've only done one of these things too. That's letting go of my past. Everything else is still a struggle for me, but that's because of severe anxiety.