how to cook slowpoke tail

[Aquacorde]

let's figure out good ways to cook this! are they best slow-roasted? deep fried? what seasonings are good? what vegetables pair well with them?

 

[QueenNothing]

Slowpoke tails are pretty thick I'd imagine, so it's probably cooked like a chicken breasts, at least depending on how safe it is to eat rare Slowpoke tail meat. Or maybe, since Slowpoke are suprisngly big, it's more like a steak, you cut it into slices and sear/grill them.

I'd think you could pan sear it and pop it in a pre-heaged oven, cook it in oil or butter, and throw in some thyme and crushed garlic.

 

[Sheep]

omg
bf thinks slow cook with basil and salt + pepper, and i think with maybe crunchy veggies? maybe broccoli, cauliflower, or carrots??

(this is weird but great)

 

[Nah]

sauteed with a garlic butter sauce, no vegetables

 

[Squirtlenator]

5 pounds of Slowpoke tail
2 ½ teaspoons coarse salt,
2 teaspoons black pepper
½ teaspoon ground allspice
2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
4 shallots,
4 large carrots
4 Turnips
1 tablespoon tomato paste
5 large garlic cloves
Half a bottle of red wine
1 cup chicken stock
2 parsley sprigs
2 rosemary branches
2 bay leaves

Rub the Slowpoke tail with salt, pepper and allspice and cover it with plastic wrap and refrigerate at least 2 hours or overnight.
Heat oven to 325 degrees.
Heat an 8-quart Dutch oven over medium-high heat.
Add oil and sear the Slowpoke tail, turning occasionally, until the meat is uniformly golden brown all over, including the sides.
Take out meat and add shallot to the pan lightly caramelizing them, about 10 minutes. Add carrot and turnips and cook 5 minutes.
Stir in tomato paste and garlic cook 1 minute.
Add wine, stock, parsley, rosemary and bay leaves to the pot and bring mixture to a simmer
Add the Slowpoke tail to the pot and simmer. Cover pot and transfer to oven and cook 3 to 3 1/2 hours Turning the meat every 30 minutes.

Bon Appétit

 

[Roni]

i'm just gonna f*** it up in the microwave then add salt for flavor

 

[Zeostar]

Raw

 

[colours]

i'm just gonna f*** it up in the microwave then add salt for flavor

me pretty much

 

[Brendino]

I don't know what Slowpoke Tail tastes like, but I think giving it a spice rub and slow cooking it in a smoker overnight would be great. The meat would be nice and tender, and it might even be so good that I forget I'm eating an unethically sourced Pokemon cuisine!

 

[Aquacorde]

Raw

bold choice, tell me more

 

[Sheep]

Raw

omg

On the topic of slowpoke tail, this is an actual curry in Sword & Shield:

Spoiler:

and one of the ingredients used is the Smoke-Poke Tail, with this description:

One of the many ingredients that can be used for cooking at your camp. When a Slowpoke's tail falls off, it grows back quickly.

So it's definitely a food, and the way that curry is prepared does make it look good. :D;

 

[VisionofMilotic]

Johto, like most of the industrialized world has banned slowpoke tail products. We still have work to do, this practice still occurs here on the black market, but we are doing our part in the community as a whole to end the slowpoke tail industry, and have also significantly funded Pokemon conservation efforts to recover the nearly hunted to extinction Farfetch'd population in our region. We call on our neighbors in Galar and Alola to give up the completely unnecessary and barbaric practice of slowpoke tail consumption.

It is unethical to eat slowpoke. They are such gentle creatures. Eating the tail has been justified for centuries because of a slowpoke's alleged reduced intelligence and delayed responses to pain, citing that they usually don't notice for awhile if their tail goes missing. However, there is data to support that we may have underestimated the intelligence of this species, as their expression has been seen to abruptly sharpen on occasion, and research is still ongoing of their latent psychic potential. Even if it were indeed the case they don't fully experience what is happening to their body parts though the way that you and I might, that still doesn't make it right of us to steal their tails. If you follow line of thinking of survival of the fittest then there are human beings with physical and or mental disabilities that would cause them to not fully perceive what is happening to them. Does this give us a license to exploit each other too? I hope you will join me saying, no, of course not.

The slowpoke trade is so in contrast to the value system that Pokemon are our friends we are taught as trainers. I don't eat my friends.

I buy only vegan leppa berry protein tails, which are not only the healthier option than a sodium-packed heart disease-triggering slowpoke tail, but the humane and sustainable choice. Try that in your curry.

 

[Bahamut]

I'm would make stir fry noodles out of Slowpoke tails.

Noodles

250 g egg noodles
600 g Slowpoke tail
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon black pepper
2 tablespoons cornstarch
3 cloves of garlic
1 chili pepper
1 tablespoon minced ginger
200 g broccoli
200 g cauliflower
200 g green beans
3 carrots
2 tablespoons vegetable oil

Stir fry sauce

50 mL soy sauce
100 mL low sodium chicken broth
60 mL pineapple juice
60 g brown sugar
2 tablespoons cornstarch + 2 tablespoons water

Cut broccoli, cauliflower and green beans into smaller pieces. Julienne the carrots. Cut garlic and chili pepper into smaller pieces, and mince fresh ginger. Preheat the vegetable oil in a wok pan over medium high heat. Cut the Slowpoke tail into small pieces. Rub the tail pieces with salt, pepper and cornstarch. Add the Slowpoke tail pieces to the wok and cook them until they are golden brown. Lower the heat, and add garlic, chili pepper and ginger. Add broccoli, cauliflower, green beans and carrots, and cook them until they are soft.

Cook noodles and add them to the pan when they are ready. Toss to combine noodles, vegetables and tail pieces. In the other pan, cook the stir fry sauce. Add soy sauce, chicken broth, pineapple juice, brown sugar and cornstarch with water, and cook until the sauce is thick. When the sauce is thick, pour the sauce to the noodles and bring to a simmer. Serve hot.

 

[Palamon]

this thread breaks my heart but... i'd assume you'd probably broil it or something

 

[PageEmp]

How does it even taste?

 

[Starlight]

You guys have serious problems... with that said though, I think the clue is in the name ;)

Slow cook it, and make sure to poke it every now and again.

 

[The Fairy Pokémon]

Oh my gosh, poor Slowpoke! 😭

I kind of regret imagining this, but I bet you could cook it like tempura shrimp.

Spoiler:

 

[Fairy]

UMMMM sorry I'm a vegetarian, I only eat sustainability harvested grass type Pokémon tyvm. (￣ﾍ￣ ﾒ)

 

[~Sombra~]

Slowpoke tail? I've never though about it, but I think that you would cook it over high heat with oil and flip it over once in awhile as to not let it burn too much on one side.