I've been a waiter now for about...a month and a half, I guess. But I have already discovered the things you can do to piss off your waiter. Now, you can either take this as more of a how to thing, like the title suggests, or you can take this more as "okay I don't wanna be a bad customer so I'll do the opposite of what Sydian says." But I mean...come on. How many of you would choose the second option? I know you all wanna piss off your waiter. Here are the top five things that customers do that piss me off. Note: I only work on days where we have a brunch buffet, so the only orders I take are drink orders.
5. The sitters
Your favorite loud ass people that stay for a long time and just talk and have glasses ITCHING to be refilled. But when you go to refill them, they say they're fine. And then your overseers get onto you for not refilling drinks. BUT THEY DON'T WANT A REFILL. Truth be told, I don't mind people staying after they eat, but they're usually just SO rude when you offer a refill and they give you the worst glare. OOOO YOU TRIED TO REFILL MY GLASS OUT OF COURTESY **** YOU GO AWAY.
4. The nit-pickers
You know, the people that have hardly anything on their plate, and just sit there and nit pick at it, sometimes even leave it sitting in front of them, and you ask if they're done, and they're not. There's NOTHING left, why do you still want it? To be honest, I have done this a few times, usually just stirring leftover sauces around on the plate though. I really am done. But most of the time, like the good citizen I am, I push the plate out in front of me to signal "hey, I'm done, get this **** off my table!"
3. The crickets
The stuck up cold people with sticks in their asses are a pain. I'm a very nice giggly person and I like to make people smile and laugh. So if I'm waiting your table, you could at least do me a favor and laugh at my dumb joke(s) so I feel less lame. :( I have a hard time talking to people in person, especially if I don't know them. But this is my job, so I have to. But I'm still nervous, and when I'm nervous I tend to make silly jokes. JUST HELP ME OUT AND LAUGH EVEN THOUGH IT SUCKS. This in mind, I really enjoy the customers that will actually have a conversation with you, lol. Had that happen twice today.
2. The thirsty: everyone orders completely different drinks/changes drinks/picks two drinks
Yes, it's split into three things because beverages didn't need to be listed three times. But yeah. It's annoying when people order different things, because the way Classic is, you don't bring out drinks. The glass is on the table, so the drink goes to them. Coffee is my least favorite to bring out, because it requires getting a heavy ass tray I can't carry. Then you gotta ask abut sugar, cream, and caf/de-caf. Tea is a big pisser too, especially when you're walking around and people need tea refills and you dunno which kind of tea it is. Water people are my favorites. But the people that get water or Sprite and then change to the opposite are annoying too. I refilled someone's glass with water, because that's what they ordered when I got to them, but they told someone else to get them Sprite. Thanks, lady! And then the people that get two drinks...like water and orange juice. WHY DO YOU DO THIS. Just get one for now. I'll bring you another later!!
1. Your food
Yes. Your food pisses me off. Because somehow, people, and I'm not just talking about kids here because adults do this too, somehow get food/sauce on the outside of the plate that I have to pick up and take back to the kitchen. There's no where to wipe my hands in there...and now my hand is covered in chocolate or cocktail sauce or soup... :( And desserts...ugh. People don't eat the tall part and then I'm trying to stack plates BUT THAT PIE CRUST IS IN MY WAY and I'm gonna drop silverware and yeah. So do us a favor. If you're done with your dessert and the end part is left, smush that ****.
And there you have it. The top 5 ways to piss off your waiter...or well, me, if you ever go to where I work. I can't say the same for other waiters.
PS: Your drunk aunt at wedding parties pisses me off too. You know, the one running around with a blanket yelling about how she got it in a certain place that she cleverly changes the name to to make it sound like a racial slur? Your drunk 2nd cousin is annoying too. The one yelling "tits" for 10 minutes straight. And don't get me started about your new mother-in-law.
5. The sitters
Your favorite loud ass people that stay for a long time and just talk and have glasses ITCHING to be refilled. But when you go to refill them, they say they're fine. And then your overseers get onto you for not refilling drinks. BUT THEY DON'T WANT A REFILL. Truth be told, I don't mind people staying after they eat, but they're usually just SO rude when you offer a refill and they give you the worst glare. OOOO YOU TRIED TO REFILL MY GLASS OUT OF COURTESY **** YOU GO AWAY.
4. The nit-pickers
You know, the people that have hardly anything on their plate, and just sit there and nit pick at it, sometimes even leave it sitting in front of them, and you ask if they're done, and they're not. There's NOTHING left, why do you still want it? To be honest, I have done this a few times, usually just stirring leftover sauces around on the plate though. I really am done. But most of the time, like the good citizen I am, I push the plate out in front of me to signal "hey, I'm done, get this **** off my table!"
3. The crickets
The stuck up cold people with sticks in their asses are a pain. I'm a very nice giggly person and I like to make people smile and laugh. So if I'm waiting your table, you could at least do me a favor and laugh at my dumb joke(s) so I feel less lame. :( I have a hard time talking to people in person, especially if I don't know them. But this is my job, so I have to. But I'm still nervous, and when I'm nervous I tend to make silly jokes. JUST HELP ME OUT AND LAUGH EVEN THOUGH IT SUCKS. This in mind, I really enjoy the customers that will actually have a conversation with you, lol. Had that happen twice today.
2. The thirsty: everyone orders completely different drinks/changes drinks/picks two drinks
Yes, it's split into three things because beverages didn't need to be listed three times. But yeah. It's annoying when people order different things, because the way Classic is, you don't bring out drinks. The glass is on the table, so the drink goes to them. Coffee is my least favorite to bring out, because it requires getting a heavy ass tray I can't carry. Then you gotta ask abut sugar, cream, and caf/de-caf. Tea is a big pisser too, especially when you're walking around and people need tea refills and you dunno which kind of tea it is. Water people are my favorites. But the people that get water or Sprite and then change to the opposite are annoying too. I refilled someone's glass with water, because that's what they ordered when I got to them, but they told someone else to get them Sprite. Thanks, lady! And then the people that get two drinks...like water and orange juice. WHY DO YOU DO THIS. Just get one for now. I'll bring you another later!!
1. Your food
Yes. Your food pisses me off. Because somehow, people, and I'm not just talking about kids here because adults do this too, somehow get food/sauce on the outside of the plate that I have to pick up and take back to the kitchen. There's no where to wipe my hands in there...and now my hand is covered in chocolate or cocktail sauce or soup... :( And desserts...ugh. People don't eat the tall part and then I'm trying to stack plates BUT THAT PIE CRUST IS IN MY WAY and I'm gonna drop silverware and yeah. So do us a favor. If you're done with your dessert and the end part is left, smush that ****.
And there you have it. The top 5 ways to piss off your waiter...or well, me, if you ever go to where I work. I can't say the same for other waiters.
PS: Your drunk aunt at wedding parties pisses me off too. You know, the one running around with a blanket yelling about how she got it in a certain place that she cleverly changes the name to to make it sound like a racial slur? Your drunk 2nd cousin is annoying too. The one yelling "tits" for 10 minutes straight. And don't get me started about your new mother-in-law.
