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I need your opinion on this story I thought of

26
Posts
15
Years
  • Well, I got ideas for something for a project I wanted to do, so I'm trying to finish everything story related by starting with a back story plot. I know it might be stupid to post something someone can try to steal, but most stuff get stolen anyways. Feedback would be appreciated, especially if there's ways to improve it or sound better.

    Three centuries ago [This kinda varies depending on the main plot I'm making atm], there live 10 kingdoms, each one separated by lands and seas, but together in harmony. However, after a few months, there was one kingdom, the Drago Kingdom, that was usurped by a mysterious foreigner. Everyone in the other kingdoms were shocked how the mighty Drago Kingdom was taken down by a complete stranger. The Mysterious foreigner then declared the other kingdoms to either join him for a great empire or be perished by his might. The remaining kingdoms refused and declared war on the once honored kingdom of Drago and plan to overthrow the threatning dictator. Many battles were fought, but none were helpful of rescuing the once beloved Drago Kingdom. After a few years, three kingdoms fell from the outcome. And when all hope seemed lost, a group of Warriors from the fallen kingdoms banned together to take down the Usurper and bring back peace to the lands and seas. They suceeded, defeated the foreigner, and ended the agonizing war. The Drago Kingdom, along with the other three, were never restored to their proper grace, but harmony was slowly returning to the lands and seas in their place.
     

    Team_SJK

    Son of Arceus
    110
    Posts
    14
    Years
  • There is one small issue I have found within the first line: it should be "there lived 10 kingdoms" rather than "there live 10 kingdoms." Other than that, the story sounds great. I look forward to reading the full version of it someday, that is if you choose to extend the story.
     
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