"I NEVER WANT KIDS..." "Wait, seriously?"
- Thread starter Captain Fabio
- Start date
Taking on the responsibility of having a child isn't for everyone, whether it be because it's one's personal choice or because they can't take on such responsibility due to their current lifestyle or financial reasons, raising a child just isn't made for every and anyone. I'm not one of them though. Ever since I was a young kid myself, I've always been excited for the day where I would become a father to my own kids. I've always loved babies and I've always been good around kids, so I've never had a real problem with them before.
I'm not saying I'm ready to have any children of my own just yet, but when I'm ready, married, settled, and I know I can handle the responsibility of raising a child, then definitely. I've always liked the number three, so three kids would be ideal for me. Not all at once though. After the first kid, I'd like to wait about two to three years before the second child. Then maybe five years after that we'd have our third kid. It'll be something to discuss with the wife.
To be given the chance to raise someone of your own blood though, teach them everything you learned growing up and watch them go through life and ultimately be happy is something I see as one of the biggest rewards of all time. I want to have that one day.
I'm not saying I'm ready to have any children of my own just yet, but when I'm ready, married, settled, and I know I can handle the responsibility of raising a child, then definitely. I've always liked the number three, so three kids would be ideal for me. Not all at once though. After the first kid, I'd like to wait about two to three years before the second child. Then maybe five years after that we'd have our third kid. It'll be something to discuss with the wife.
To be given the chance to raise someone of your own blood though, teach them everything you learned growing up and watch them go through life and ultimately be happy is something I see as one of the biggest rewards of all time. I want to have that one day.
Margot
some things are that simple
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My lack of wanting kids a while back stemmed from the fact that I felt like I was too much of a worry wart to be an effective mom. I also always had babies get upset around me (THEY CAN SENSE MY FEAR OF MESSING UP) so I was like "FINE. NO KIDS FOR ME."
.....and then I was a nanny for two boys under the age of 10 for 3 years and learned I'm actually pretty damn awesome with kids. So now I'm back on board with poppin' out children later on when I'm done with school and can afford to comfortably take care of them.
.....and then I was a nanny for two boys under the age of 10 for 3 years and learned I'm actually pretty damn awesome with kids. So now I'm back on board with poppin' out children later on when I'm done with school and can afford to comfortably take care of them.
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When the time is right, yes. (Married, settled, big-boy job, etc) Preferably two, and preferably boys. Twin dashing lacrosse players (Like me) would be pretty cool from a coaching perspective.
/is a coach now.
/is a coach now.
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I can actually seeing myself having kids, but I'd definetely have to adopt seeing as I can't really see the person I'm currently dating ever going through 9 months of hell having the kid inside her body and then have the first three months of nothing but screaming from it.
So, if I were to ever have kids, I'd definitely adopt above the 5 month area.
So, if I were to ever have kids, I'd definitely adopt above the 5 month area.
Shining Raichu
Expect me like you expect Jesus.
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Yes, yes, I know you've all been waiting anxiously in your seats for my response to this thread. The wait is over!
In short, no. Why would anybody want kids? If you have a kid it means you don't get to be one anymore. That's a horrifying thought. The world is your oyster when you are childless. You can do things, be things, accomplish things. That's not to say you can't do that when you have children, but they certainly weigh you down. They're an impediment.
I'm not gonna make you sit through the tl;dr of why I hate kids again. In short, they're sticky, they're messy, they're loud, they're annoying and every one of them that I've met has made me believe in violence. Also, more scary than the idea of having children is the idea of becoming a parent. Once you are a parent, you're not a person anymore. At least not first. You are a parent first and everything else second and that very thought revolts me.
For the tl;dr version of why I don't want to be a parent, click here!
For my blog on the subject, which I intend to redo at some point because I was new to blogging at that stage and therefore the quality is severely lacking, click here!
One thing I didn't touch on in either of those is the sense of entitlement parents tend to have just because they're parents. As though they are the A1 first-class citizens of the world because they've produced offspring and they believe everybody should care about their offspring just as much as they do. I hate that, it's an ugly quality in people and I'd hate to see it in myself.
Now Fabio, onto your question of 'how can you know at this point that you will never want children?' - well, short answer is, you don't. There is no way that even I know that in ten years I won't change my mind and feel the need to have a child or be a parent or raise something. I know it's not going to happen, because I'm me and I know me better than anybody, but in the grand scheme of things in the world, that is a possibility. Stranger things have happened. But the difference between saying "I will never want kids" and something like "I will never drink alcohol" is that the core argument of "you can't possibly know that until you try it" doesn't hold any water in this case. When it comes to alcohol, if you try it to find out you don't like it - then that's no big deal. You can't just try out a kid. There is no takesies-backsies. If you want a kid, you have to be sure beforehand, because it's irreversible. Once it's there it's yours to take care of for 18 years whether you like it or not. That's why people are able to make this decision without having tried it lol.
And yes, it is incredibly irritating and patronising when people say "oh you'll change your mind some day", as you did the last time this topic was brought up :P
Oh dear... this turned out to be a tl;dr after all...
In short, no. Why would anybody want kids? If you have a kid it means you don't get to be one anymore. That's a horrifying thought. The world is your oyster when you are childless. You can do things, be things, accomplish things. That's not to say you can't do that when you have children, but they certainly weigh you down. They're an impediment.
I'm not gonna make you sit through the tl;dr of why I hate kids again. In short, they're sticky, they're messy, they're loud, they're annoying and every one of them that I've met has made me believe in violence. Also, more scary than the idea of having children is the idea of becoming a parent. Once you are a parent, you're not a person anymore. At least not first. You are a parent first and everything else second and that very thought revolts me.
For the tl;dr version of why I don't want to be a parent, click here!
For my blog on the subject, which I intend to redo at some point because I was new to blogging at that stage and therefore the quality is severely lacking, click here!
One thing I didn't touch on in either of those is the sense of entitlement parents tend to have just because they're parents. As though they are the A1 first-class citizens of the world because they've produced offspring and they believe everybody should care about their offspring just as much as they do. I hate that, it's an ugly quality in people and I'd hate to see it in myself.
Now Fabio, onto your question of 'how can you know at this point that you will never want children?' - well, short answer is, you don't. There is no way that even I know that in ten years I won't change my mind and feel the need to have a child or be a parent or raise something. I know it's not going to happen, because I'm me and I know me better than anybody, but in the grand scheme of things in the world, that is a possibility. Stranger things have happened. But the difference between saying "I will never want kids" and something like "I will never drink alcohol" is that the core argument of "you can't possibly know that until you try it" doesn't hold any water in this case. When it comes to alcohol, if you try it to find out you don't like it - then that's no big deal. You can't just try out a kid. There is no takesies-backsies. If you want a kid, you have to be sure beforehand, because it's irreversible. Once it's there it's yours to take care of for 18 years whether you like it or not. That's why people are able to make this decision without having tried it lol.
And yes, it is incredibly irritating and patronising when people say "oh you'll change your mind some day", as you did the last time this topic was brought up :P
Oh dear... this turned out to be a tl;dr after all...
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I can't be sure if I want to have kids in the future because, in my opinion, I'm too young to know these things. It REALLY gets on my nerves when people my age seem to know for sure if they're having kids or not, especially if they're convinced they're not going to. I know a bunch of people who are completely against marriage and children who will probably change they're minds when they're older. I'm not against people who don't want to have kids or get married, but most people can't just decide they're never going to when they're so young.
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I suppose it is my job as always to be the counterbalance to Andrew's rant about those apparently evil beings known as children. I love children so much, I really do. That's not to say they don't act like righteous little shitheads half the time, because they absolutely do, but I don't factor that into my thinking when it comes to thinking about having kids in the future.
I don't believe I'll naturally have children, although I would very much like to do so. Surrogacy just isn't for me. I don' know nothin' 'bout birthin' no babies! I'm not opposed to surrogacy, but I think it'll be a whole lot easier if I simply adopt the child and not go through the stress of making sure the unborn child is okay for nine months. Besides, we've already got enough people in this world, it makes sense to me to simply help one who already exists rather than bring another mouth to feed into the world.
Children are evil, I know. They're mean, crude and selfish little brats. But I love the moments when they're naive and their beautiful souls shine through and they're just perfect people. Okay, that's incredibly cheesy, but whatever. I suppose I'm basing my opinions on my little brother and sister, who are naughty little kids most of the time but are just adorable in every way when they're lying down together watching a movie or as it most often happens to be, Regular Show. You see, that's what I want to experience with my own children, I'll never be able to know until I have a child myself, but I think all the hardship that comes with raising a child will be worth it to see them sleeping peacefully on a couch, utterly pleased with themselves.
So yes, I'd love to have children. Quite frankly, it's just fine if you don't want to have them for your own reasons, but you'll never know what it'll be like raising one until you have one of your own.
I don't believe I'll naturally have children, although I would very much like to do so. Surrogacy just isn't for me. I don' know nothin' 'bout birthin' no babies! I'm not opposed to surrogacy, but I think it'll be a whole lot easier if I simply adopt the child and not go through the stress of making sure the unborn child is okay for nine months. Besides, we've already got enough people in this world, it makes sense to me to simply help one who already exists rather than bring another mouth to feed into the world.
Children are evil, I know. They're mean, crude and selfish little brats. But I love the moments when they're naive and their beautiful souls shine through and they're just perfect people. Okay, that's incredibly cheesy, but whatever. I suppose I'm basing my opinions on my little brother and sister, who are naughty little kids most of the time but are just adorable in every way when they're lying down together watching a movie or as it most often happens to be, Regular Show. You see, that's what I want to experience with my own children, I'll never be able to know until I have a child myself, but I think all the hardship that comes with raising a child will be worth it to see them sleeping peacefully on a couch, utterly pleased with themselves.
So yes, I'd love to have children. Quite frankly, it's just fine if you don't want to have them for your own reasons, but you'll never know what it'll be like raising one until you have one of your own.
Cosmotone8
silhouette of the past
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This. I have three younger siblings and I can definitely say that there are times when you just want to rip them to shreads. But then there are those times when you catch glimpses that make you melt, like Harlequin said. And then when you raise them to be successful in life, (assuming you do) it gives you a sense of accomplishment unlike any other. I definetly want to have kids, like three or four.
Mr Cat Dog
Frasier says it best
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At this point in my life, given what I know about myself, I don't want kids. I can't see that changing all that much in the future, but I'm not so close-minded to think that they're never going to enter into an equation at some point in my life. I guess I'll have to cross that bridge when I come to it... but for now, no kids.
Elite Overlord LeSabre™
On that 'Non stop road'
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Well, nothing's set in stone and things can change, but right now, I don't have the money or the patience to deal with raising kids. I'm especially worried that my impatience and temper will get the better of me... Maybe if I cool down and get some serious source of money, I might change my mind but right now having a kid is definitely out of the question for the time being.
If I did want a kid down the road, I'd only want one, a girl. I'd name her Lisa and have her wear frilly Sunday dresses every day.
If I did want a kid down the road, I'd only want one, a girl. I'd name her Lisa and have her wear frilly Sunday dresses every day.
Broken_Arrow
Paper Plane
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Kids!,i like to play with them and maybe give them some sweats but the thought of a kid mine!! is kinda scary i don't want to think about it..lol however some people about my age have kids but i consider myself young for such responsability.
once before a friend from my online friends was talking about that..he kept saaying how would all of our friends look as parents....lol that was funny till he said now it's your turn...how you imagine your family?...i don't know why i had a picture of me carrying a young baby boy about one years old while me in my 30s..and me and his father (>< i know,yuck) won't be together i mean separated because of a problem.....i have no idea why do i always imagine myself as a loner!!..that was kinda sad and weird but why i imagined that!!! i have no idea!
once before a friend from my online friends was talking about that..he kept saaying how would all of our friends look as parents....lol that was funny till he said now it's your turn...how you imagine your family?...i don't know why i had a picture of me carrying a young baby boy about one years old while me in my 30s..and me and his father (>< i know,yuck) won't be together i mean separated because of a problem.....i have no idea why do i always imagine myself as a loner!!..that was kinda sad and weird but why i imagined that!!! i have no idea!
WillPowerPedro
https://soundcloud.com/cammdavidson
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I would definitely have kids. I have wanted kids since 1st grade. I don't know why but I was (and still am) the guy who plans his future. I already have an idea of my future job and college. But, back to the kids. I just want kids...
-It would bring me and my wife closer
-I would have someone to talk to all the time
-and other stuff I forget...
-It would bring me and my wife closer
-I would have someone to talk to all the time
-and other stuff I forget...
Starsprite
This is how we live!
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I'm pretty sure I don't want kids. That might be subject to change. Anything is subject to change. I could wake up one morning and decide it's time to go make babies and then run off and have 38 of them.
I just don't think that's going to happen. All the older women I have expressed this to (mothers, usually), however, do. They take it on as their own personal mission to convince me how wrong I am.
They try to tell me that I want babies deep down in my heart or that I'll become one with the baby or something. It's really really bizarre.
I just don't think that's going to happen. All the older women I have expressed this to (mothers, usually), however, do. They take it on as their own personal mission to convince me how wrong I am.
They try to tell me that I want babies deep down in my heart or that I'll become one with the baby or something. It's really really bizarre.
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I want to have kids one day, but it all depends on if I ever get a wife, a well-paying job and a good house. I don't even know if I'll ever get a job, I'm only 12.
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I've known for years that I don't want children. The idea never crossed my mind, even now that I'm old enough to make those kind of decisions for myself. I'm twenty-five and children don't have any place at all in the life I live now or in the future.
People always say to me that I'll change my mind, or that I don't know for sure because I'm young. (Which raises the question of when will I know for sure, or when will I be old enough.) But there are plenty of reasons why I know for sure I don't want children. Listing them all would take forever, but they all cement the decision in my mind. Children aren't for me.
People always say to me that I'll change my mind, or that I don't know for sure because I'm young. (Which raises the question of when will I know for sure, or when will I be old enough.) But there are plenty of reasons why I know for sure I don't want children. Listing them all would take forever, but they all cement the decision in my mind. Children aren't for me.
I don't want kids right now, but I think there are loads of factors that may eventually make me want kids.
I don't think, per se, that age matters. It's more your personal situation. Overall, I personally feel, that raising kids will be rewarding. Sure, the baby/toddler stages will be messy, and the child area could get loud - but I think there becomes a stage where actually, it's not that big a deal.
Raising a well balanced, interesting human being is quite a cool thing to do. It doesn't have to be such a horrible ordeal.
- Being in a (very) long term relationship. Perhaps it's just society's influence but I think kids is an eventual step in that.
- Being financially stable.
- Having done the whole 'career' and 'fun' parts of life.
I don't think, per se, that age matters. It's more your personal situation. Overall, I personally feel, that raising kids will be rewarding. Sure, the baby/toddler stages will be messy, and the child area could get loud - but I think there becomes a stage where actually, it's not that big a deal.
Raising a well balanced, interesting human being is quite a cool thing to do. It doesn't have to be such a horrible ordeal.
Meganium
[i]memento mori[/i]
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At some point in time, I don't want kids...I find the work very hard and annoying. I take care of my nieces and my little sister...and at times it feels like I'm the mother. haha
If I do meet someone special, get married, get a good job, etc. then I'd want just ONE kid. Raising two would be exhausting. I'd rather have just one kid. I want a boy, because my family needs boys. lol
If I do meet someone special, get married, get a good job, etc. then I'd want just ONE kid. Raising two would be exhausting. I'd rather have just one kid. I want a boy, because my family needs boys. lol
Tetrakeet
Lilligant's Caretaker
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No, I never want kids. Why? *laughs and points at the OP's picture*
In all seriousness, I never really felt a reason to have a child. Maybe when I'm older my mind may change, who knows? For now, it's not a concern and I'm staying with "no".
In all seriousness, I never really felt a reason to have a child. Maybe when I'm older my mind may change, who knows? For now, it's not a concern and I'm staying with "no".