I really want to talk to you, but I am to shy.

[I'm so HM02]

Does anyone have the problem talking to people you want to learn more about etc. (IRL or Online/PC)? I do I see alot of people here I'd love to talk to, but my gut says no. I just say never mind and walk off feeling defeated.

 

[JJ Styles]

I used to have this problem as well, especially in real life where I was quite the awkward and quiet person. I grew up with little friends as a kid, so it was only during 3rd year high school where I started to be more vocal with people, mainly since my source of self-confidence back in that day was playing DotA and basically being skilled in video games, especially competitive multiplayer ones. Sure its not something that is relevant to everyone since not everyone's a gamer or heavily invested in video games, and obviously not everyone is like a competitive multiplayer gamer, but I find that looking for that avenue of building self confidence to be helpful. Like just look at yourself. Think of what you are good at. What makes you strong, what empowers you, etc etc.

And when i found out that people do indeed have very different tastes and preferences, i did widen my horizons by dwelling in other matters of interest. Like, in my case, gaming is fine and all, but there were people who i wanted to talk to who were more interested in art, so i tried drawing and i was able to build some confidence with it, since i knew that i could draw well if given the time to do so. I'd show my drawings (which at that time was good enough) and they'd see that i have some skills but its nice to know that they can even point out some flaws in my art.

its like when people ask about you being good at something, you'd easily find a few things to talk about and be proud of doing. And chances are, you might even recommend them to try things you'd like doing and they may end up doing the same, thus increasing your chances of gaining a lot of people to talk to.

It doesn't hurt to try really. I mean, there's a crapload of people who i would want to talk to here in our lovely little forum, but i have to think way to make them feel comfy talking to me in a conversational form. I mean i can always talk about my love of gaming, action movies, and Blood, ultra-violence, and Supermurder (BUS) in video games and movies all day, but obviously not everyone is in with that. (and it would be absolutely weird, even to me, if everyone was in to the whole BUS)

 

[digi-kun]

Mmmm...It really depends on my information on the person already. If I already know we have similar tastes, it's not hard to strike up a conversation, though if I don't, then I usually try and think through how to approach them and by that time, the chance has already gone by. Especially on forums like this, I'll usually spend a good 10-30 minutes writing and rewriting the post before I actually get it into a form that conveys what I'm trying to say and sometimes in the faster moving threads, I'll end up missing my opportunity to post anything. That or I give up and scrap it because it's too embarrassing after reading it XD

First impressions are something I take fairly seriously, so if I can't nail it, then I'll give up usually.

 

[kendypls]

Hell no I don't have this problem! (but maybe I'm over confident :P) Get yourself out there, get yourself known, if you want friends you gotta speak up! If nobody could approach anyone, then nobody would have friends! If someone rejects your offer, move on!

Pop me a message on my profile if you want to chat! and Good Luck :)

 

[Jetfire]

I'm going to challenge you to get out of your comfort zone. The first step is always the hardest.

I say to just do it. Whether it's here or in real life, don't live with regrets!

 

[Legobricks]

I might say yes but I'm not interested in these people anyway. Anyone I really want to talk to, I will, and I usually find them on this site, but it's a rare occurance all the same. Most people are not very smart, and don't genuinely have much to offer others. So, just my 2¢: hesitation may well be borne of actual disregard.

First impressions are something I take fairly seriously, so if I can't nail it, then I'll give up usually.

You're right to, I think. It's very rare for someone to be inconsistent with what their first impressions suggest. One can and should judge books by their covers; it's what they're there for.

 

[Lucid]

In terms of PC, a lot of members on here struggle with some form of anxiety or shyness, so anyone going through that isn't unique and shouldn't feel alone. I don't think anyone joins not be bothered. I know fear of rejection is a thing, but odds are whoever you want to reach out to wants some social interaction just as much as you do. If you feel awkward, take comfort in the fact that no one is going to notice. You might make someone's day by striking up a conversation.

 

[Spiff]

In terms of PC, a lot of members on here struggle with some form of anxiety or shyness, so anyone going through that isn't unique and shouldn't feel alone. I don't think anyone joins not be bothered. I know fear of rejection is a thing, but odds are whoever you want to reach out to wants some social interaction just as much as you do. If you feel awkward, take comfort in the fact that no one is going to notice. You might make someone's day by striking up a conversation.

fun fact: lucid first started talking to me by spamming my inbox with will smith gifs

 

[ShinyUmbreon189]

As a musician It's mandatory I talk to people and get myself know. Those type of tactics will help in getting promotions. So I have no problem in talking to someone online or irl. Who gives a fuck what someone thinks anyways? Each to their own I guess.

 

[Lucid]

fun fact: lucid first started talking to me by spamming my inbox with will smith gifs

I'm aware that I'm a delight, thank you

 

[apart]

Does anyone have the problem talking to people you want to learn more about etc. (IRL or Online/PC)? I do I see alot of people here I'd love to talk to, but my gut says no. I just say never mind and walk off feeling defeated.

All the time.. :(

 

[Jetfire]

I used to work with young individuals that would be TERRIFIED to give a small speech in front of a crowd of 15. It was tough working with them but it was also satisfying seeing them improve and work out their fears.

It's all a process. Some are natural at it while others have to work at it. I'm one of those who had to work for it.

 

[Corrin]

All the time, I never talk to people, even on here I rarely do unless I'm replying to a thread. I feel like I'll annoy them.

 

[Mawa]

I kinda have this problem in real life, but not at all on PC. If I want to say something here to a member, I'll say it! :)
In real life tho I am awkward.

 

[Astinus]

Since I have social anxiety, I do find it a problem to talk to people when I don't know much about them. (Of course, I also don't talk much to people that I've known for years, because I'm always afraid of saying something they'll judge as stupid, and they'll hate me forever.)

I have improved over the years to where I will talk periodically to someone more when I first meet them. Working retail has made me a little less fearful dealing with the public. But the old fear still remains.

It's a little better for me online, especially here. On PC I have more confidence than I do anywhere else online or in real life.

 

[Reunilu]

All the freaking time, especially with adults. It's really been like that for as long as I can remember. I mean I'm less shy about myself if I'm in a group or if it's a place on the Internet, but not overly so. For example, I'd love to get to know the people of the A&D subforum a little more, but I don't have any drawing/painting skills nor can I find a place to jump into the conversation. I'm just picky like that. Ehehehe...

 

[Bellsprout]

online no and irl i can be, but its not like it was before. its been a really long time since i met someone irl that i really wanted to get to know

 

[Lycanthropy]

IRL definitely. Besides my brother I only have a few friends who I can talk to openly. In other cases I'm super shy, I can't even start a conversation without a "should I/shouldn't I" debate in my head that often takes so long that it has become super awkward to start a conversation later. It's getting better lately, but still not much. Online, I find things a lot easier.

 

[starseed galaxy auticorn]

All of the time. It comes with having special needs. I'm always worried the person won't like me or find me annoying. :c

 

[Her]

not really, especially online where it doesn't matter at all. offline sure i have anxiety but it's not something i can't sidestep when i need to, i hate letting things fester or continually bother me so i try my best to get whatever is making me anxious out of the way as soon as possible.

granted, i'd rather just keep to myself and choose to do so most of the time, preferring only to interact with a small group of people. i don't like feeling like i am bound to interact with different people constantly, it's just tiring. honestly, i don't get anxiety from new people but rather maintaining relationships with people i already know and all that entails. the stress of keeping friendships is probably a whole other issue though. but if i want to talk to someone new then i mean, i'm not gonna let things get in my way. i suppose i'm lucky in the sense that i'm as forceful and direct as i am, i'd probably be genuinely troubled by anxiety if i was less so.