Time to tip-toe around this.
I think if you have kids intentionally, you need to bring them into an environment where you're sure they're not going to have to endeavor the unnecessary oppressions harnessed upon them by the lack of stability within the household relationships. I think the worst thing you can do is bring a child into a family were the parents aren't solid. This is something I grew up in, and it's something I learned to never let happen to my kids in the future. But also in addition to that, I think it's always a good thing to consider the times we're living in. Having a child now, while running the risk of potentially hiking tax rates, fewer jobs and higher poverty, you would really need to reconsider unless you were both in a financially sound state as well as being in a good position with the person you're going to have the child with.
Everything we do is selfish, even if we're doing it for someone else, there's going to be self motivation to do it. Whether it is the feeling you get when you help that person, or to get a favour in return, we never do things completely out of the goodness of our hearts without even feeling anything in return. Forgive the awful wording here, but if someone were to undergo an abnegation where they give up something they love in the benefit of someone they love, it would still be for their own benefit, even if just a tiny bit.
When you think about children, you must also think about love. Love is also a selfish thing. Regardless of the kind. If you want someone else to feel good, that is still your desire that you want to be fulfilled, no matter how much you love that person, there is still that certain entity of selfishness included. So when having kids, regardless of the love involved, there is still going to be that layer of selfishness. But I think the term "selfishness" is usually associated with negative inputs, whereas people can be selfish in wanting the best for another person.
But in relation to the question that spoke about whether it would be a drain of resources to have a child; I honestly don't think so. Especially if you do plan on raising the child right, they're going to want him or her to do well in life, be happy and above all my point is going to be that this person will most likely contribute to society in some way, and we would hope it would be positive. So I think that most people tend to give back what they give into the world in some aspects, exempting the affect on the ozone layer and such of course.
I think holding off to have kids is the best idea. Until all factors are completely settled, and the couple have got a steady relationship going. I think that if the child is born into a supporting family with enough resources, love and know how to look fter the child, then it's not selfish. At the end of the day, having children isn't the selfish thing; it's what those children grow up to do that matters more.