[PKMN FULL] Johto Mysteries (T) (OOC)

[CrumbledCandyWrapper]

@Yellow ; It just came to me y'know? :) hehe

& non existent cookies are just promises with no delivery TT__TT

 

[krabbyrocks30]

Your sign-up sheet must contain the following information:

Name: Jeffery Johnson

Age: 10

Gender:male

Pokégear Choice:ruby

Appearance: Jeffery is a tan boy with green eyes and black hair, he is usually dressed in a green t-shirt, blue shorts, and green sneakers with white socks. His hight is 4,9.

Personality: kind, shy, but stubborn

Starter Pokémon: krabby

Short description of your Pokémon's traits and personality: krabby is kind, loyal, and full of pride.

Roleplay Sample: when Jeffery was 6 years old, he was playing in the fields outside his hometown of cheerygrove. He Stopped in his tracks when he saw a wild arbock fling something red up into the air and smack it against a tree with its Tail. The arbock left, and Jeffery went up to the red object. On closer inspection, he realized it was an injured baby krabby! He took it home and cared for it. 3 years later when he had saved up the money, he bought a Pokeball and asked the krabby if it wanted to go with him. The krabby gave a nod of its head, and Jeffery taped the Pokeball on the krabby and caught it. Jeffery never liked battling, so he decided to become the worlds greatest Pokemon doctor (basically a nurse joy but male and named Jeffery)

The Roleplay Sample must reflect the circumstances your character and their starter Pokémon met under and what motivated your character to go on a Pokémon journey.

 

[<Challenger>]

Sorry about the lack of posts, guys. I've been dealing with work and crappy vacation cabin wifi. I'll try posting in the next few hours. Would anybody care to interact?

 

[Nathan]

Your sign-up sheet must contain the following information:

Name: Jeffery Johnson

Age: 10

Gender:male

Pokégear Choice:ruby

Appearance: black hair, green eyes, white skin

Personality: kind, shy, but stubborn

Starter Pokémon: krabby

Short description of your Pokémon's traits and personality: kind, loyal, positive, And prideful.

Roleplay Sample: when Jeffery was 6 years old, he was playing in the fields outside his hometown of cheerygrove. He Stopped in his tracks when he saw a wild arbock fling something red up into the air and smack it against a tree with its Tail. The arbock left, and Jeffery went up to the red object. On closer inspection, he realized it was an injured baby krabby! He took it home and cared for it. 3 years later when he had saved up the money, he bought a Pokeball and asked the krabby if it wanted to go with him. The krabby gave a nod of its head, and Jeffery taped the Pokeball on the krabby and caught it. Jeffery never liked battling, so he decided to become the worlds greatest Pokemon doctor (basically a nurse joy but male and named Jeffery)

The Roleplay Sample must reflect the circumstances your character and their starter Pokémon met under and what motivated your character to go on a Pokémon journey.

Sadly, I'll have to say this character is rejected for the following reasons.
-Your Appearance section is really lacking a lot of depth. Instead of giving words like you did, you should try to come up with sentences. Here's an example, instead of what you wrote, it could have been : "Jeffery is a pale white boy with long black hair and green eyes." Also there are details you didn't mention such as his height, how he is usually dressed, etc...
-Same as above for your character's Personality and the traits of his Pokemon.
-Your RP Sample is a little too short and lacking some depth.

If you're unsure about what to write and how to do it, you can always ask for help from one of the experienced RPers or you may read this very helpful Guide to writing a Sign-Up made by Alter Ego which I really recommend you read.

 

[krabbyrocks30]

Your sign-up sheet must contain the following information:

Name: Jeffery Johnson

Age: 10

Gender:male

Pokégear Choice:ruby

Appearance: Jeffery is a tan boy with green eyes and black hair, he is usually dressed in a green t-shirt, blue shorts, and green sneakers with white socks. His hight is 4,9.

Personality: kind, shy, but stubborn

Starter Pokémon: krabby

Short description of your Pokémon's traits and personality: krabby is kind, loyal, and full of pride.

Roleplay Sample: when Jeffery was 6 years old, he was playing in the fields outside his hometown of cheerygrove. He Stopped in his tracks when he saw a wild arbock fling something red up into the air and smack it against a tree with its Tail. The arbock left, and Jeffery went up to the red object. On closer inspection, he realized it was an injured baby krabby! "are you ok
Little guy?" the krabby gave a small nod but then fell unconscious. "I have to get this to the Pokemon center!" when he entered cheerygrove, he was stopped by the town bully, moe. "what do you have there Jeffery? A new doll! Hahahahahah!" "I don't have time for this!" Jeffery thought, grinding his teeth. "out of my way!" Jeffery screamed at moe. "or what?" moe replied. "or this" Jeffery muttered under his breath. He then ran past moe at full speed, pushing him to the ground. He rushed into the Pokemon center as fast as he could. "nurse joy!" Jeffery said, kicking open the door. He ran up to the desk and laid the krabby on the table gently. "can you fix him?" Jeffery said, trying to catch his breath. "Chansey, get krabby to the intensive care unit now!" nurse joy shouted. Worry seeped into Jeffery and coverd him head to toe. He was waiting for 4 hours until nurse joy finally came back out. "your krabby is just fine" nurse joy said. Just then, the krabby hopped out of bed and into Jeffery's arms. "You two seem to have quite a bond!" nurse joy said with a chuckle. Ever since that day, Jeffery has loved helping Pokemon, and he vowed to become the world's greatest Pokemon doctor. (basically a nurse joy but a boy and named Jeffery)

The Roleplay Sample must reflect the circumstances your character and their starter Pokémon met under and what motivated your character to go on a Pokémon journey.

 

[Ahri]

Ok, first of all, ur not dementia, so u can't say I'm rejected until she decides, and two, that sample WAS NOT TO SHORT! I believe that that sample had a great amount of depth, and it could also TOTALLY happen in the poke world. I did take ur ideas and changed it around a bit, here it is.

Actually, if you took the time to read the entire first post, JNathan has as much authority in this RP as I do, because he's also a GM in it.

That being said, you need A LOT of improvement. I know we might sound harsh or demanding, but that's only because we want a good RP. If you really wanna improve, I suggest you reffer to the links Nathan so kindly suggested you to check and also to some of the other Sign Ups in the thread here.

I could sit here all night and nitpick at every omission of a capital letter in the beginning of your sentences and of names such as "Krabby" and "Arbok" for example.

And your sample DOES lack any kind of depth. It sounds more like "I went to the market and bought stuff then came home and put everything in the fridge." to me than something written artistically, something with both description and maybe some proper dialogue, something with a meaning.

The purpose of a Sign-Up and especially of the RP Sample in a SU, is to show what you can do. Creating a proper character and a decent RP sample shows us that you're serious about this and that you CAN role play.

You really didn't even seem to have read the entire first post and you seem to refuse to read all the guides you were linked to. Your character's appearance was hastily written in two sentences that don't say much, your character's personality is non-existant. You just listed some personality traits as if I should be able to determine what kind of character yours is.

Even the shortest sign up in this RP has AT LEAST 1 paragraph for each of the fields of the SU and AT LEAST 2-3 paragraphs in their sample.

So, as I said before, you still have a lot to learn and I suggest you take some time to do so before posting a sign up. You're free to return when you're actually CERTAIN that you are fully capable of RPing at a level at least close to that of those people that were accepted.

And don't get me wrong, we're not really RP pros or anything, but we kind of know well enough that the beginning of each sentence should start in a capitalization and we actually put effort in our posts just like we did in our Sign-ups.

 

[krabbyrocks30]

Your sign-up sheet must contain the following information:

Name: Jeffery Johnson

Age: 10

Gender:male

Pokégear Choice:ruby

Appearance: Jeffery is a tan boy with green eyes and black hair, he is usually dressed in a green t-shirt, blue shorts, and green sneakers with white socks. His hight is 4,9.

Personality: kind, shy, but stubborn

Starter Pokémon: krabby

Short description of your Pokémon's traits and personality: krabby is kind, loyal, and full of pride.

Roleplay Sample: When Jeffery was 6 years old, he was playing in the fields outside his hometown of Cherrygrove. He stopped in his tracks when he saw a wild Arbock fling something red up into the air and smack it against a tree with its Tail. The arbock left, and Jeffery went up to the red object. On closer inspection, he realized it was an injured baby Krabby! "Are you ok
Little guy?" the Krabby gave a small nod but then fell unconscious. "I have to get this to the Pokemon center!" when he entered Cherrygrove, he was stopped by the town bully, Moe. "what do you have there Jeffery? A new doll! Hahahahahah!" "I don't have time for this!" Jeffery thought, grinding his teeth. "Out of my way!" Jeffery screamed at moe. "Or what?" Moe replied. "Or this" Jeffery muttered under his breath. He then ran past moe at full speed, pushing him to the ground. He rushed into the Pokemon center as fast as he could. "Nurse Joy!" Jeffery said, kicking open the door. He ran up to the desk and laid the Krabby on the table gently. "Can you fix him?" Jeffery said, trying to catch his breath. "Chansey, get Krabby to the intensive care unit now!" nurse joy shouted. Worry seeped into Jeffery and coverd him head to toe. He was waiting for 4 hours until Nurse Joy finally came back out. "Your Krabby is just fine" Nurse Joy said. Just then, the Krabby hopped out of bed and into Jeffery's arms. "You two seem to have quite a bond!" nurse Joy said with a chuckle. Ever since that day, Jeffery has loved helping Pokemon, and he vowed to become the world's greatest Pokemon doctor. (Basicly a nurse Joy but a boy and named Jeffery)

The Roleplay Sample must reflect the circumstances your character and their starter Pokémon met under and what motivated your character to go on a Pokémon journey.

I believe I've fixed all capitalization errors

 

[Nate]

I have an idea, look at someone elses SU. Trust me I was the same all confused and stuff when I first joined, and my writing skills gradually developed over time. Yes thats right I'm saying be patient, and get used to the way things work around her and soon you'll be pro at things.

Also, so many capitalization errors D:

 

[Fuyu]

Would anyone like to interact/terrify/travel with Millie?

*is so out of the loop*

 

[Nathan]

I wouldn't mind interacting with Millie myself :D

 

[Nate]

I wouldn't mind interacting with Millie myself :D

Was gonna say the same :) Perhaps a triple joint post is in order :D haha jk go ahead and interact just yous 2 if you want

 

[Fuyu]

Oh, a triple joint post would be hilarious! How would we even do that? I seriously want to try it now. XD Anybody have an etherpad so we could write this?

Seriously, I'd love to interact with the both of you. That would be awesome.

 

[Ahri]

So sorry for the delay Shay

Here's your Zorua's info

(Rosie)
Female/Illusion
Scratch/Pursuit/Fake Tears/Faint Attack

Oh a completely unrelated note: Member of the Year was posted, so go vote your favourites ^^

And Krabby, I see you trying, but you're not quite there yet. I'm sorry, but, and you could ask anyone in this RP, I got REALLY high standards in terms of pretty much everything related to this RP from spacing to grammar. Keep trying though. And I suggest you keep trying on your own for a while until you're certain your SU is good enough and only then post it in here ^^ Else it's called spamming and we don't want spamming around here ^^

And ugh >.< Mina has yet to find travelling companions too xD so yeah xD

 

[Fuyu]

Dementia, you could join the triple JP bonanza. Ask DemonicWolf for the etherpad. XD

 

[Nate]

Ive already given him the webpage address in a VM

 

[Dawn]

I'd like to reserve the blue pokegear, if reservations are still possible.

...Y'know, because it seemed like you guys needed a second Yellow in your RP. :P

 

[Ahri]

I'd like to reserve the blue pokegear, if reservations are still possible.

...Y'know, because it seemed like you guys needed a second Yellow in your RP. :P

Sure, gonna reserve the Blue one for you ^^

 

[<Challenger>]

If anyone would want to interact with Kaz, he'll be leaving the center very soon, meaning when I finish my post.

 

[Ahri]

Mina's gonna be on her own for a bit, then prolly catch up with someone :X

And guys, I promise I'll try catching up with your posts tomorrow and reply to whatever captures, questions, convos your characters might have <3
Been super busy today ^^" And when I finally had some free time, I had to deal with this Krabby person most of the time so xD

 

[Nate]

Haha yeah well Kiki is attempting to catch a Mareep, just in case you're too busy to read the posts.