Like A Virgin

[Esper]

I never knew of a single girl in my high school who got pregnant. Granted, I wasn't really on the lookout for it and I'm sure one or two would have passed my notice easily, but a dozen or so like some people say they see at their schools just amazes me. Maybe it's because we had relatively good 'human interactions' classes, but it never seemed like anyone was ignorant of how to protect themselves so for the most part it didn't become an 'epidemic'.

Education is key to keeping down unwanted pregnancies, I think, and helping the girls who do get pregnant make the best choices.

 

[Flame Claw]

Teen pregnancy is a big no. I know a girl who got pregnant at 14 and although I think she was stupid for getting pregnant in the first place, I admire the way she had it and she is a good mother looking after her child well.

As for marriage, I think it's pointless. I see it as an excuse for jewelery personally, and if people love each one-another they shouldn't need a piece of paper saying that.

 

[Reginaldvonburger]

And why are so many people defending single parenting? There's nothing wrong with it, but it's a whole lot better to have two parents than just one. If it's just one parent, unless they are filthy rich, they're either gonna be short on parenting the kid or short on making a living. To all the people that were raised by a single mom or dad and got out well, good for you. I'm just saying what is typically better. One of my friends went to jail for a year, but he got out and now has a stable job with enough money to get by on. Is his life good? Yes. Would it've been better if he didn't go to jail? Almost certainly.

Pregnancy outside of a stable union can be very difficult. I'd be extremely impressed if they stayed together without any promise of commitment, such as getting married (even if it is "just a piece of paper," it's not something you can just walk out on).

Your friend going to jail has nothing to do with single parents. One of my friends is an alcoholic druggie at the age of 18. He has a mother and a father, 2 brothers and a sister, lives in a good size house etc. People's actions don't reflect on how many relatives they have around them, it reflects on the person themselves.

My cousin has an 8 year old daughter, she's a single mother. And guess what. She's fine. She's not rich nor is she short on parenting or money. What you said was close-minded. Some people have two really bad parents and others have one really good parent. It's not about the quantity, it's the quality.

 

[TheUltimateSacrifice]

Is "Izanagi" the moral compass around here or something?

Topic: Both fine by me, as it doesn't affect me in any significant way, and never will.

 

[Jammy-182]

Personally I think it all depends on the individual. It is hard to generalise EVERY teenager as either a good parent or bad parent, unable to cope etc. as for pregnancy out of marriage, I don't think marriage has the same values it did say 80 years ago. Marriage seems to only really be for traditional purposes or as a gesture, apart from that I think it is more or less the same as just being a couple, (although I am not married so it's hard for me to say) so why should it affect getting pregnant or raising a child? I do find it funny that marriage is becoming less popular than it was at the turn of the 20th century when it was frowned upon to not be married by 20 whereas now it is seen as bad to be married in your teens. It's the same with pregnancy, teen pregnancy used to be 'the norm'. I don't see an over powering reason for it to be wrong, as long as the individual can cope and the child has a fair start in life.

 

[Michfan]

Ooh, a sex-related thread! Let me put in my two cents.

tl;dr Pre-marital intercourse is completely cool, as long as BOTH PARTNERS have the protection and the maturity for the what-ifs (pregnancy and STDs).

Teenagers being preggo = BAD. If you're under 18 and you're preggo, I would definitely go for adoption (my option if I had gotten a teen pregnant when I was in HS, thank God that I didn't) or go take the kid out in them by going to an abortion clinic.

Having kids w/out getting married = I'm OK with this. I know a few families who have never gotten married and are having the best years of their lives with their kids. I prefer to get married, but after I get my Bachelor's degree and am somewhat financially stable with a good career.

 

[Rucario]

I hate it. Those stupid people who got pregnant tried as hard as they could do get into math class with their fat stomachs and I couldn't because of them... Dammit.

 

[Kenaku]

Without reading anything else in here to corrupt my views: Babies should be made in love. You don't need to be married to be in love. Sex is an activity for making babies, but it just so happens to be fun. Sex without the intent of making babies seems to me like an entertainment act, that being said sex without protection may yield a child. If you have sex without protection, you have the knowledge of the possibilities of having a baby, or rather the intent of having a child.

Don't be a fool, wrap your tool.

 

[RTHookers]

My hometown in Ontario is #1 in the county for drugs and teen pregnancies. There's at least 15 girls pregnant every year at one of our schools. Why? You can't afford a child, and I don't see your child's biological father anywhere! So why did you just risk your entire education and your life (since most can't and don't get back on track with their education after having a kid in their teens) for a spur-of-the-moment, unprotected fun ride?

If you're pregnant as a teen, you're not mature anyway. You can't raise a kid on 16,000$/year! And if you live with your parents, good job putting them in the hole for cash for the next few years :| If they bother to deal with you and your irresponsibility, that is.

I don't agree with it at all. Teens are technically the best time to get pregnant (when considering the body), but in today's world, it's not because you've barely touched your most important educational studies. 95% chance if you get pregnant, you just flopped your life financially, unless you marry a rich man / an educated man with a college or university degree.

*Best time to have protected sex
Needs moar sense.
..Got it?
And if my (unexisting) girlfriend want to have a child, screw her. I don't wanna take any responsibilities for that kinda crap on 16yo.
BTW that place sounds like a place to my kinda style.

 

[Saltare.]

Not a lot of money to buy some condoms or just say NO.

When I see a pregnant girl my age in the store or in school, I just feel so bad for them. Even if they have the money to take care of a child at this young a age, they won't take care of it. They are still kids.

As for marriage as teens and being pregnant, I don't think it works out most of the time. My friends' friend's sister isn't with her boyfriend anymore. As soon as she got pregnant he wanted nothing to do with her.


That's just my own opinion and I'm not saying it is right.

 

[colcolstyles]

As the saying goes, you shouldn't be having sex unless you feel that you are willing and able to take care of a child. I know that's not going to stop a lot of people but it has some merit to it.

 

[HarrisonH]

As the saying goes, you shouldn't be having sex unless you feel that you are willing and able to take care of a child. I know that's not going to stop a lot of people but it has some merit to it.

I've never heard that "saying" before.

 

[colcolstyles]

I've never heard that "saying" before.

Okay, well it might not be a household saying but it is the belief of what I'm sure is a fairly sizable group of people. Sure, contraception is as effective as it has ever been these days but sex, at its most fundamental level, is how we procreate so one should still be prepared to deal with the possibility of a pregnancy in case something should go wrong.

 

[Guillermo]

Okay, really. Whyyy should people have to wait until they're wearing a ring on their finger and are 'legally' a couple to make a child? Marriage is just a bit of paper that supposedly brings two people together and makes a huge excuse to spend lots of cash, and it's not a warrant to say "okay you can have a baby now go for it!!" People should have children when they want to and feel it's right. Of course money is important too, but if you just got married and want a child you've already got the marriage expenses as well as a baby's expense.

And why does people being married make them better at raising a child than if they weren't? Really.

*also I know marriage is a big deal don't take what I said the wrong way*

 

[RTHookers]

Screw marriage. Big wasta money if you ask me. Oh lol the goverment has a file like EliranXYarden or something.
TBH I don't feel like having marriage but eh. Why should I care about it at 16?

 

[Yusshin]

Okay, really. Whyyy should people have to wait until they're wearing a ring on their finger and are 'legally' a couple to make a child? Marriage is just a bit of paper that supposedly brings two people together and makes a huge excuse to spend lots of cash, and it's not a warrant to say "okay you can have a baby now go for it!!" People should have children when they want to and feel it's right. Of course money is important too, but if you just got married and want a child you've already got the marriage expenses as well as a baby's expense.

^ Exactly. Marriage is just a way for churches to make monies and a way to get legal rights in law for certain things. It doesn't prove you're good parents. It doesn't even prove you love each other. People take the marriage thing too seriously in this respect. Sure, don't have kids with some guy you know you're not going to be with in two years (teenaged boys). Try to at least find someone who loves you and supports you, and you love and support in return. You don't have to get married, no. All of my aunts had kids at 17-21. They're all on welware now and don't even have their secondary school education. As my dad would put it, they're "losers." They're not productive for society at all. They're just another parent reaping welfare money / our taxes.

My mum had her first kid at 17. She's getting by because she's with someone who went through college for machine repair (snowmobiles, lawnmowers, etc.) If she hadn't met him, she'd still be in abusive relationships and making 1,700$/month managing a 50h/week + "homework" job at A&W.

Don't have kids until you're financially ready :| Seriously. Marriage doesn't mean anything these days; just make sure you love the person you're planning to have kids with, rather than have an "accident" with some guy who's going to ditch you once he knows. Pre-marital sex? Not a fan, since you'll probably catch some sort of STD, and you'll feel dirty when you are married for having slept with 30 people already. If that's your thing, though, fine, I'll judge, but I won't say anything (not that my opinion matters rofl). Just protect yourselves so you don't have any "accidents" that'll fck your life big time.

 

[Rich Boy Rob]

Don't have kids until you're financially ready :| Seriously. Marriage doesn't mean anything these days; just make sure you love the person you're planning to have kids with, rather than have an "accident" with some guy who's going to ditch you once he knows. Pre-marital sex? Not a fan, since you'll probably catch some sort of STD, and you'll feel dirty when you are married for having slept with 30 people already. If that's your thing, though, fine, I'll judge, but I won't say anything (not that my opinion matters rofl). Just protect yourselves so you don't have any "accidents" that'll fck your life big time.

I couldn't agree with what you said more except for that line I bolded. I know it's only your opinion and that I probably can't change it, but I have to say; the chances of you catching an STD when using (the right kind of) protection are incredibly low, unless it breaks, which is mostly your fault for buying the wrong size/strength. And as for feeling dirty, I'm sure as long as your partner doesn't mind that you've "been around a bit", the only difference would be that you are a bit more experienced.

Just my two... pence?

 

[Evee dude86]

I'm strongly pro-LIFE. So I would always council a mother to be to choose LIFE, unless it endangered her health/life.

 

[Tinhead Bruce]

Teenage pregnancy. Really? When did that become normal? I thought teenagers were meant to be kids, have fun ,*pokes "Kid's these Days"* not be tied down with babies. I think waiting makes sense as 1) You won't be together for a long time/ever 2)You can get heart-broken 3) God knows what's spreading, seriously, it's not with one person but with all the others as well, gross. Besides, it's better to be fresh than raw...

That is all I can say subtlety and without going against the rules which I support :P

It became normal at the beginning of human existence. There is a reason males start producing sperm at the age they do and women can get pregnant at the age they can. In many countries, having children when you are 13 or 14 isn't uncommon.

The second bold sentence sort of disgusts me. You compare virginity to being "fresh"? One, raw isn't the opposite of fresh, just to let you know. Two, going by that logic, all our mothers and fathers are "rotten". They've all had sex, and that's a fact. I'm sure many of them have had multiple partners, depending of course on their circumstances. Saying that someone who isn't a virgin is comparable to them being rotten (you used raw, I just corrected you) is a terrible analogy. Being rotten also seems to be exclusive to the female reproductive organs from what I can see, no? Would you call the penis of a man with multiple sexual partners "rotten"?

Anyways, moving on to my views on this issue, I feel that those who are stable in all the ways necessary to raise a child should be able to have children. I don't find anything wrong with that. I also don't find anything wrong with sex without marriage. Sex is largely a recreational activity in our society, and I defy you to give legitimate proof as to why that is wrong, by legitimate of course I mean proof outside of a holy book.

Pregnancy without marriage also doesn't bother me. Provided, again, that those who are going have the child/raise the child are stable in the necessary ways, I don't see a problem with that. The whole stigma on unmarried people bugs me. As I see it, marriage is a path, but it's not the only path. I have several friends that have lifelong partners, but have no plans to get married. It isn't out of defiance just to "stick it to the man" or anything, they just don't want to. If it's legal, is it really up to us to judge whether it's right or wrong? Marriage is traditionally a religious institution, and those who don't care for marriage but still care to have children may be "sinners" in the eyes of religious people, but isn't it a great thing that those of us who aren't specifically religious don't have to have the approval of those who are?

I may have more to say on it, but I can't remember at the moment. I hope my opinion can provide some food for thought.

 

[Germany]

I think that pregnancy before marriage is fine...so as long as you're an adult who can actually care for a child.
TEEN pregnancy on the other hand, disgusts me. I've seen so many of my peers get pregnant because they can't control their hormones, and then drop out of school.I doubt that they know anything about being a mother..