Love and Beauty

[pokemonranger109]

I was thinking about someone I loved and thought what was love through beauty. It turns out you don't need beauty to have love, but it is merely the other way around.



Love is a feeling we take for grant it.
Beauty is a thing we want no matter what the cost.

Only through love can you have true beauty.
We must have pure love to give off encouragement,

To show they are loved and beautiful in our eyes.
Fear of loving is a driving force while you are the speck,

That can prove to someone they are loved.
We have to do these type of things to make everyones lives continue in happyness.

Even though it isn't hard to see someone not loved,
But beautiful Love matters.

 

[bobandbill]

Firstly, I'd suggest doing a spot of proofreading before posting, as there were a few mistakes that distracted from the poem:

Love is a feeling we take for grant it.

granted rather than 'grant it'.

We have to do these type of things to make everyones lives continue in happyness.

Happiness.

But beautiful Love matters.

Here I was unsure why 'love' was capitalised given it hadn't been done when it wasn't starting a sentence.

The poem was alright but I don't think it really worked as well as it could have in the pacing department as some lines didn't really fit with each other quite so well - it hence didn't give any rhythm the poem might have benefited from (for instance, the fourth pair of lines - the latter one is more like a separate sentence and doesn't really pair up with any other part). Maybe consider mixing up how you present it? Pairing up tends to suggest structure of that sort when I feel that it doesn't really fit that way, and would improve it too.

Fear of loving is a driving force while you are the speck,

That can prove to someone they are loved.

This seemed a touch too disjointed as well as it took me a while to get what was being said (I think it's more the inclusion of 'while you are the speck' that distracted me).

 

[crowdsourceinspiration]

I'd encourage you to tell us more about this someone...if these aren't just random thoughts, but about an individual, describe that person--how they look, how they feel, etc.