Make a wish and have it horribly corrupted

[xoBoxxy]

Granted, but then he suddenly gets a new obsession of killing people.

I wish I was a video game character.

 

[Muffin™]

Granted, but you are Earthworm Jim.

I wish to have a time machine.

 

[AliceBlaze]

Granted, but you go back in time and accidently kill your father without realising who it is.

I wish Pokemon Heartgold will be released in the UK this weekend.

 

[jigglyppuff8]

Granted. It's Japanese HeartGold. And no SoulSilver either.

I wish I had motivation of some sort.

 

[PokemonLeagueChamp]

Granted. It's motivation to be a cannibal.

I wish I ruled da internetz.

 

[Callandor]

Granted, but you made some dumb mistake, and now thousands of internet junkies want your head on a silver platter.

I wish I didn't have to pay for the internet.

 

[PokemonLeagueChamp]

Granted. But the internet starts failing and you have to pay out $50,000 to keep it running.

I wish I had a DSi XL.

 

[Åzurε]

Now you do.

... I don't think this can get any worse. xD

I wish for the power to rip holes in anything I wanted to.

 

[Hybrid Trainer]

Ok but then you do it to your own face by acssident.

I wish that i didnt have to go to school at this age.

 

[Okami Chi]

Granted, but now you can't get a job, and you forgot how to spell your name.

I wish I was blind. (Haha see what I did there now you can't say, "Granted, but now you're blind.") :D

-Okami

 

[Comrade Nikita Ivanova]

Granted, but you're also deaf.

I wish it was summer vacation.

 

[Hybrid Trainer]

Granted but after that it will never be summer ever again!

I wish i was younger...

 

[Comrade Nikita Ivanova]

Granted, but you have the mind of an old man and your parents force you to go to a psychologist because they're creeped out by your constant stories about fighting in World War One.

I wish for a piece of paper.

 

[Åzurε]

Granted. You decide to doodle on it a bit, and end up accidentally calling the Pottsylvanian spy satellite observing your house "full of fail" in their own code which came into existence not even a week ago. Having secretly loaded an experimental laser dubbed a "Class Zero", they shoot a hole in your little cranium and burn the paper. A nearby agent or theirs cleans up afterwards. One person manages to take a picture of the laser while trying to photograph a mockingbird. Being a paranoid conspiracy theorist (who thoroughly enjoys the beauty of local wildlife), he submits it as evidence of alien abduction. He goes to where he assumes the ray of light landed, and finds out that someone has indeed gone missing there. This leads to quiet government action to try and find out where the beam came from. Sure enough, they find and explode the machine that did it, and start focusing some black ops on the country that launched it, which eventually culminates in the discovery of a WMD factory and military occupation of Pottsylvania. When the satellite was destroyed, an insulated chunk of electronics fell to earth and landed in the backyard of a man from Ohio. He messes with it a bit, and manages to make an LED lamp out of it. I hope you're happy.

I wish for McNuggets.

 

[Okami Chi]

Granted, but now you look like this guy:

Wish I was Lucario.

 

[Comrade Nikita Ivanova]

Granted, but you think that just because you're Lucario you can do anything. So, you try shooting yourself for the fun of it. Subsequently, you died in the process.

I wish for a two in one hairdryer and coffee machine.

 

[MarstheCar]

Granted, but I steal it.
I wish I didn't need glasses.

 

[jigglyppuff8]

Granted. Glasses won't help if you're blind.

I wish my glasses didn't feel so ick right now.

 

[MarstheCar]

Granted, but now they feel slimy.
I wish I could sleep for a few seconds and be refreshed afterwards.

 

[jigglyppuff8]

Granted. You may notice the surrounding area around you to be severely burned and any persons near you at the time to be in a different county.

I wish for an April Fools hoax.