Make a wish and have it horribly corrupted

[Neiko Star]

Granted, but the chips are insect-flavoured.

I wish for nothing.

 

[jigglyppuff8]

Granted. Congratulations. What are you going to do next?

I wish for a stronger prescription of lenses for my glasses.

 

[Snow Phoenix]

Granted, but the lenses are coated in poison.

I wish that I could never age.

 

[98monkey1]

Granted. You never age. So you never have a wife, and your family dies so you get stuck in a horrible fostor home the rest of your life and have to deal with school the rest of your life. (Muhahaha!)

I wish everyone would realize I am the master of corrupting wishes.

 

[Snow Phoenix]

Granted, you are in your dreams.

I wish that I knew what I wanted to be when I grow up.

 

[~Poke~]

Granted. A footpath

I wish I could speak (337

 

[jigglyppuff8]

9|24|\|73|), 8|_|7 0|\|1'/ 1|= '/0|_| (4|\| |234|) 7|-|15 |*057. 1|= '/0|_| |)1|), 7|-|3|\| '/0|_| |\/||_|57 7'/|*3 |1|<3 7|-|15 4|| 7|-|3 71|\/|3 4|\||) |\|080|)'/ |_||\||)3|2574|\||)5 '/0|_|.

I wish I knew how I did that.

 

[~Poke~]

Granted. Google translate

I wish I could read that

 

[Ekeshum]

Granted, but the minute you remember and the world loves you for it, millions of reporters interviewing you... you forget it and your dream comes crashing to the underground.

I wish to go to Fraggle Rock and become best friends with Red.

 

[I Laugh at your Misfortune!]

Granted, but you have a falling out and he sits on you. You die from that, for some reson.

I wish that I didn't have an essay to write ._.

 

[Neiko Star]

Granted. Now you have to write a book.

I wish for a poisoned lollipop.

 

[Snow Phoenix]

Granted, but it was poisoned with motor oil and I lit a match on it while you licked it.

I wish the next poster could speak Japanese.

 

[jigglyppuff8]

Granted. I move to Japan and take a part in creating the next Pokemon game. I make it suck intentionally to make this a corruption.

I wish the ground was mushy and soft.

 

[Snow Phoenix]

Granted, you live in a Quagmire (Fancy word for Swamp) where the ground is always soft, wet, and mushy.

I wish that the next poster was a belly dancer.

 

[I Laugh at your Misfortune!]

Granted. just a shame that you have to watch me belly-dancing with my pot belly :P

I wish that I wasn't so small :(

 

[Neiko Star]

Granted. Now you're the size of a skyscraper. :(

I wish for a broken toy.

 

[jigglyppuff8]

Granted. It's one of those ones where you pull on the string and it fixes itself.

I wish for candy.

 

[Neiko Star]

Granted. It's blood-flavoured.

I wish for a new planet.

 

[Snow Phoenix]

Granted, it's Pluto.

I wish that pigs could fly.

 

[jigglyppuff8]

Granted. 20 years from now, the world will experience an economic collapse due to all the classes skipped, homework not done, and bedtimes extended, because no one is qualified for jobs because everybody was having too much fun as kids.

I wish for order.