Making friends

[Mew~]

This shall be quite an interesting topic. How do you find making friends? Questions for consideration;
Do you find it easy or hard to make friends? Do you find it harder or easier to make friends online? Do you tend to go up to a person first, or they come up to you?

 

[Truality]

"Hello, friend."

It's not easy making friends. Real friends. People are so laidback here that they often misinterpret the meaning of the word... hanging out with people is something else, but if we hang around too much we end up being friends. Woo.

Protip: Friends online? That depends on how you roll. Everyone can be your friend, no one can be your friend.

 

[Esper]

^ Your avatars are perfectly in sync for me.

I don't have an easy time making friends. Most of my friends are people who were already friends with my friends and I just sort of adopted them / they adopted me as friends because of the mutual friend. I'm hesitant to start friendships until I know someone a little.

 

[Mr Cat Dog]

Re: Scarf's point - THAT'S SO CREEPY! It's like an invasion of horses led by a Pikachu.

On topic: It can take new people a while to get to know me and move from 'casual acquaintance' to 'friend'. I don't change my behaviour when meeting new people, and that can sometimes catch new people off-guard. If they eventually do want to be my friend (and vice versa), it normally helps if we have shared interests. That definitely speeds up the process to friendship. And it also helps if the other person is a lot more talkative than me, as I'm not the best at starting up conversations. But, apart from that, I'm GREAT at making friends! :D

 

[psyanic]

I can meet new people really easily. Stepping that up to friendship is a bit of trouble I guess. I find that if we share the same sense of humor, that is a major boost. This also branches out to other things, so I can make friends easily.

I also make a lot of friends through friends. It's like an everlasting chain of friendships.

 

[Oryx]

The other day I was at a football game and a girl was standing all by herself watching it. A guy came up to her, introduced himself, managed to keep up a 5-10 minute conversation, gave her his number, invited her to a party, and they ended up hugging goodbye. I was shocked and wondered 'is this how people normally make friends?'

As you may be able to guess by the previous paragraph, I don't make friends easily at all. I would only say I have a few real friends, it just isn't in my nature to be outgoing and actively pursue relationships with other people. That's my biggest problem I think. I like hanging out with people and I hang out when people invite me and we have fun, but I don't pursue it in the other direction by inviting them out, etc., so they remain in the awkward acquaintance stage. The only time I made friends easily was my first week of college when I went to anime club and clicked with them, lol.

 

[Snivy063]

I find it easy to make friends in real life, since I'm a very approachable and talkative person. :P .. While I'm having difficulty making friends online, since you can't particularly know whether that person could be your friend or whether that person doesn't want you or stuff like that. xD; Well, usually, I tend to go first and approach them, but there are times that they go first too.

 

[Kura]

The other day I was at a football game and a girl was standing all by herself watching it. A guy came up to her, introduced himself, managed to keep up a 5-10 minute conversation, gave her his number, invited her to a party, and they ended up hugging goodbye. I was shocked and wondered 'is this how people normally make friends?'

No I think that's how you normally get hit on.


As for me.. I find it's much easier for me to make friends than when I was younger. I find I have quite a lot of acquaintances and a lot of people that I enjoy being in their company with or hanging out with.. but only few that I truly trust and consider a friend. Though I guess it's what you define as friends, you know?

I actually find it both harder and easier to make friends online. Easier in the fact that they can be more accessible in a way.. but harder because that accessibility can be the downfall. Will they actually be your friend when it gets down to the nitty-gritty? Or they only your friend when it's convenient to them?
With my online -friends-, I've made conscious effort to show them I care. Draw them pictures, send them letters, even send them gifts in the mail, obviously give them a call. I think this is all normal.

I guess for that reason, I tend to approach people more. I enjoy chatting with others. It's when they actively come to me back and return the same amount of effort and respect that I send to them that I consider them a real friend.

 

[Binary]

I find making friends a generally difficult task, haha. But it might just be because I'm under this general assumption most of the time. I'm no conversationalist, quiet, and don't really do well with new people, which kinda sucks in a way, but it does also depends on how my acquaintance perceives me. But, I can be super friendly sometimes.. which is good, :B. Naturally, it takes me a while to form strong bonds with people.

I'm pretty much the same online, and the friend-making process is the same mix of tough and easy. But I find it easier to approach people online, start a conversation and stuff. I've yet to hone my skills in this department though.

 

[PlatinumDude]

I find it a bit harder to make friends online than I used to. Offline, though, I have a bit of a harder time because I spend most of my time by myself. In both scenarios, I approach the people I make friends with more often than the other way around.

 

[Uecil]

I find it hard to make friends with someone because it usually tends to be that someone would come to me first and then we become friends naturally, but online it's kind of different for me in that way. I find it easier to make friends online than trying to make friends IRL/offline.

 

[Shining Raichu]

I find it way easier to make friends online than it is offline. Offline, my friends are still the ones I have left over from high school (I graduated 3 years ago) and I haven't managed to make a new one since... the idea of making a friend sort of intimidates me. At school, it sort of just happened organically, I didn't have to try. Now that we're not in a situation where a bunch of people are forced to be around each other daily, it's harder to navigate the process.

 

[Nihilego]

Honestly, making friends is something I've never had any trouble with. I'll just talk to pretty much anyone (in answer to the question in the OP, I tend to start the conversations) I find interesting and just see how it goes from there. It'll sound obvious but really a foolproof way of doing it is to just not give people anything to dislike, and to stay aware of how you're presenting yourself; lots of people can really easily seem hostile without even meaning to, for example.

As for making stronger friendships, now you're getting awkward. I seem really outgoing but I'm actually a very private person and until I let people past that, I don't make strong friends. Which means that I pick very carefully who gets past the private side of me, so I don't have that many really strong friendships. But I'm ok with that because I don't think you're meant to have many!

As for online vs offline friends, I think it's easier online. Mainly because you're already in a place where you share a common interest with everybody (in this case, Pokémon) and also because you can't get judged based on looks and such online. I don't like to admit that this happens offline, but quite honestly, how you look can quite often say a lot about you so I think that people can sometimes be evaluated immediately on the way that they look. I could be wrong there, though. Body language also doesn't apply online so if someone would find you awkward offline, they might not see that online. And then there's also conversation; online you have time to think over what you say before you say it. You never stutter, never speak too quietly or too loudly, or anything like that. Communication on the whole is far easier online than offline so it's easier to make online friends.

The other day I was at a football game and a girl was standing all by herself watching it. A guy came up to her, introduced himself, managed to keep up a 5-10 minute conversation, gave her his number, invited her to a party, and they ended up hugging goodbye. I was shocked and wondered 'is this how people normally make friends?'

Ngl from my experience, uh, yeah. Although to be fair that was pretty quick.

 

[Chiar]

I am a very lonely person and I don't have any true friends both online and offline, but I don't feel sad because of it.

 

[Kikyochanx]

I find it easier to make friends online than trying to make friends IRL/offline. The only time I've made friends was at the anime clubs, movie clubs, and other media outlet clubs I attended, but that was only because we shared the same interests. After the anime club in high school went down the crapper, everyone pretty much went their own way and we all stopped talking. (We all graduated and ended up just going our own ways. Most of the people were my friends IRL) I didn't stay at the others, because they got too boring, serious, or people stopped going for various reasons.

Now I'm in an anime club at my college, and I tend to myself in it, honestly. I make friends outside of the club easier than at the club, mainly because most of the people are starting to be too serious about their anime. >->

 

[Yoshikko]

You know it's weird cause, I can PRETEND to be good at making friends, and make "friends" at parties (if I'm even there), but actually I don't really care that much. If I really want to make friends, I'm awkward and shy lol.

 

[-Jared-]

Online, it's pretty easy to me. Start up a convo, see if it lasts, if it does, great! If it doesn't, either let it go, or see if you did something wrong. xD

Offline, Idk about making friends. I tend to get along with a lot of people, but I dunno how many people would think of me as a "friend" rather than an acquaintance. :\ In high school, I mainly just hung out with people I knew from class. They didn't push me away, so I took that to mean we were friends. xD

 

[AquaticWartortle]

If you mean online friends that's easy just start off a conversation. But in real life for me i'm sort of a shy guy :P When I see someone having or talking about a subject i like I join in.

 

[nosepass]

i make friends quite easily, but that's me.
online i think its easier because they cant judge you for how you talk or look.
:)

 

[Eucliffe]

Do you find it easy or hard to make friends?
Let me think about this for .01 seconds: YES. Low self-esteem + timidity + terrible at interacting socially = recipe for staying away from others. And no matter how many times my parents tell me I'm not like this they really haven't helped.

Do you find it harder or easier to make friends online?
Definitely easier. Online, people judge you by post quality, status (unfortunately), etc. whereas in real life it's all about appearance. Not only that, but one would likely join sites that pertain to their interests, thus meeting people who share similar interests. In real life, you might be unable to find anyone who works/goes to school with you AND likes the same things as you.

Do you tend to go up to a person first, or they come up to you?
There are the rare occasions where I'll talk to a person first, but otherwise I'd rather people come up to me. I know it's not the best tactic (especially if everyone thinks that way), but remember, not the most socially confident person here.