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All the best to you <3 I'm so sorry you're going through this. hugs
How has everyone been doing lately?
[Life] Mental health club
- Thread starter Greninja use Water Shuriken!
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All the best to you <3 I'm so sorry you're going through this. hugs
How has everyone been doing lately?
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i have been going through a motivation "crisis" of sorts for quite a while now.
i just... lose drive for doing things i once love doing. i realise that this is kind of the thing that happens with depression, but i'm on medication at the moment, and i've been taking it daily as prescribed. is it just something i have to deal with? this is a rhetorical question of course, but it really does make me wonder if it's just a phase that'll wear off or... i dunno what it is. i just dont feel like doing pretty much anything and it fucking sucks. otherwise simple things like replying to messages (especially on pc) feels like something i have to force myself to do which sucks because i dont want to ghost people
blah. the worst part of my depression (the suicidal thoughts) has quelled for now thanks to the medication, but it seems some other parts remain.
i just... lose drive for doing things i once love doing. i realise that this is kind of the thing that happens with depression, but i'm on medication at the moment, and i've been taking it daily as prescribed. is it just something i have to deal with? this is a rhetorical question of course, but it really does make me wonder if it's just a phase that'll wear off or... i dunno what it is. i just dont feel like doing pretty much anything and it fucking sucks. otherwise simple things like replying to messages (especially on pc) feels like something i have to force myself to do which sucks because i dont want to ghost people
blah. the worst part of my depression (the suicidal thoughts) has quelled for now thanks to the medication, but it seems some other parts remain.
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^hope you can find your motivation again! Depression sucks!
Still waiting for my next appointment. It's annoying when they first tell you that they don't know what it is and then you get told that you have to wait six weeks for the next time. <_<
At least I only need to survive this week and then I have my vacation days around Easter. Finally time to do something meaningful to me, hopefully.
Still waiting for my next appointment. It's annoying when they first tell you that they don't know what it is and then you get told that you have to wait six weeks for the next time. <_<
At least I only need to survive this week and then I have my vacation days around Easter. Finally time to do something meaningful to me, hopefully.
I am very sorry for your loss I only ever lost pets that are just as meaningful and respected as if they were human family to me. Something my whole family told me as well my therapist we all grieve differently. We are a loud to take much time we need to do so as well. I don't cry as much, or not at all sometimes though I become silent and angry when we ever lost a pet. My grieving I think would seem strange to others since people think when you grieve you cry a lot and sad all the time. Where I feel nothing, or angry and then make peace with it and try and move on faster than my family dose. I also had family members pass on too though I never knew them nor remember due to being a child at the time. So I can't say I can relate to your loss I'm afraid. So please don't care what other think if your still sad or upset for your loss of your step father. You need to grieve and take much time as you need to be alight again and at peace. If you ever need to talk more, I'm always available Sandalphon and try my best to help you if I can. But st least know I'm here to support and listen to you.
*sending good and positive vibes to you and your family*
I have felt just like you when I was younger a lot even during my school years. I hope things get better for you soon as possible, perhaps talk to a therapist, or trusted friend even a family member? Someone that supports you and loves you to help you through this time. Also talk to your doctor too about your current feelings and medication It may be causing you to feel that way. Since medication for some people it can have side effects that can cause ones depression to get bad and think of hurting themselves. Everyone tolerates medication differently and it helps everyone just the same. Maybe you medication is causing this since I know from personal experience it did for me when I was a teen.
I had to be taken off it quickly and put on something else and eventually gotten better. But one thing that I can say about having mental health and taking medication it only helps you 50%. The other 50% is all you and have to help yourself out. Talking to someone you trust ( though professionals are much more preferred since they know what there doing and can help you better with the knowledge they know and learned for their trade. ) can be helpful for your recovery and living better, happier even healthier. True everyone has a choice if they want to talk to a therapist or anyone. However I discovered having support no matter who it is you can talk to as well taking medication can help you heal and be better very much.
This is all MY opinion as well and advice, you can listen to it if you want or not its your life and choice after all. I just wanted to share my experience on my mental health journey and share experiences as well.
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*Update On My Mental Health Journey
I took a week off away from PC to take a break or mini Holiday to clear my mind, reset and do more things that I love to do as well take care of myself physically even more. I've been in deep thought recently about my life and what I want to do as well. Right now I'm in a much better place I'm happy to say and in fact 100% my true self again with a fantastic better mindset than before. My therapist will be coming back from her Holiday she took as well and I'll be seeing her still twice a week for my therapy sessions once more.
They might become harder for me my sessions with her. Since I have so much trauma and pain in my life from all what people have done to me. However I know I can get through it and learn even more coping techniques to help me and get more help from my family as well too. Since they're learning more about C-PTSD as well and how to help me more so I can find true happiness and peace once again or for the first time.
Where I reside my biggest thing I also have to tackle is getting outside more walking every day as I used too do before the pandemic. Now that's it Spring here again and finally nicer weather to walk in now. Though having Agoraphobia and Anthrophobia ( Fear of people ) making it extremely difficult for me I hope I can at least walk around my apartment complex again each day even if I don't go anywhere else.
Good news this start of the month I started walking again on my own even though I was terrified and went to a small shop too by myself. I felt very happy, proud and accomplished of myself. My therapist said I did excellent and extremely well taking the first step again and getting outside even by people too.
Though I stopped after a week and a half due to getting injured accidentally on un even payment. I'm all completely healed now and going start walking around my apartment complex again even if I don't go farther than that to the small shop again. I hope I can do it again have the courage though I know I can and will succeed and need to remember a quote that really helps me that fear is just a reaction , courage is a choice.
My therapist will also depending on the days help me as well get out more by doing walking sessions with me, however can't really go to places due to the pandemic and me and her not wanting to get sick so we probably just stay near my apartment complex or trail near our place as well.
That's all I wanted to share I hope everyone has been well while I was away. Please take care everyone.
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Really struggling with the anxiety as of late. Don't know why. Gonna talk with my therapist about it on Thursday. It's made it very difficult to not feel, idk, paranoid about coming online?? Which I realize sounds weird but damn if I can help it.
I can't shake this feeling like I've got the sword of Damocles over my head and something really bad is about to happen.
Which my intellectual brain knows is ridiculous and if anything being more active online is good for me! But it doesn't make that overwhelming and inexplicable feeling of dread go away.
I can't shake this feeling like I've got the sword of Damocles over my head and something really bad is about to happen.
Which my intellectual brain knows is ridiculous and if anything being more active online is good for me! But it doesn't make that overwhelming and inexplicable feeling of dread go away.
Hey Fairy,
I'm very sorry your going through a hard time at the moment with your anxiety, I hope things get better for you soon as possible. I feel extremely terrified to be online all the time honestly, even talkng to everyone on here. Since I have Anthrophobia ( fear of people ) and C-PTSD from it as well due from getting hurt pretty much all my life from bad to extremely traumatic situations all online except a few in person situations that were extremely bad as well. So being online in general is always a MAJOR trigger of mine and always sadly will befor me, even if I find my true happiness and peace. Over time I over come my cautiousness paranoia about being online a bit more talking to people and know when to leave a place or take breaks if I ever feel uncomfortable or unsafe with the place I'm on or people I speak with.
In person for me right now online is the only thing I can meet other people. Since where I reside people aren't so nice here ( not the good types of folks who accept you for someone who has mental health issues severely and a learning disability as well ) too toxic or do things I'm not into that people my age do for fun. However I did tried when I was younger through mid twenties to attend things where I live to meet others but all failed due to not good people there ( since it's not a big town ) ocsoiate with personally to make friends with. Also sadly their isn't much to do here where I live either where I reside as well, so it's pretty boring though only good part of it no crime here really at all not like major cities near where I live have bad.
I think talking with your therapist will be helpful for you for what your feeling and going through right now. If not perhaps talk to your family, friends or partner too for advice and support. Hang in there Fairy things will get better again you have your friends on PC here too to support you. Please take care.
*sending you good and positive vibes your way*
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Wishing you the absolute best! Glad to see you're feeling better, some time away to focus on yourself is always a great thing to do. Things may get worse sometimes but they'll always get better, and we'll be here to listen <3 Good luck getting back into walking too! That has helped me a lot honestly, knowing I'm out there moving my body instead of sitting online all the time. Little things like that can be such a huge energy boost, as hard as it can be to push yourself to do them.
Sending lots of love to you too, Angie. I can completely relate to having no motivation to do much of anything. It's been happening to me for like a decade, and I haven't been able to get myself to draw since November now. Same with playing most games because I just....don't seem to have the drive. It's really hard and I haven't been able to figure out why. Sometimes it's just a matter of changing meds, if you still find it hard weeks/months down the line then I hope you'll consider asking for a different brand/dose. There are so many others out there and you'll definitely find one that works for you.
Jo. <3 I really hope things improve ASAP. You don't deserve to feel like that, stupid anxiety tbh. Take the time you need to rest up and I hope your therapist can help!
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Adding to my last post but something my family pointed out to me the other day was that it was toxic to myself to not take a break and try to get everything on my to do list done. I have always felt incredibly guilty when I'm not doing work because I always have something on my to do list for school whether it could be studying, new homework or assignments that are coming in. I've noticed that I will just keep working and trying to knock everything off my to do list, not letting myself rest. I also get incredibly anxious when I don't get what I want done in a day or I get stuck on a task (like right now for my assignment) and I think the stress of constantly overworking without a break but still somehow being so behind on work had really taken a toll.
I was holding it mostly OK until this week when one night after feeling particularly frustrated and sad, I came home and started crying over dinner because I was so overwhelmed. I think this is a sign something needs to change because I almost never cry, particularly not in front of my family. But I was able to have a chat about it and realised how much pressure I've been placing on myself to do well and how unrealistically I've created expectations for what a productive day should be - part of being productive is definitely enjoying breaks guilt-free to recharge! Its been so hard for me to take breaks properly as I get anxious about work even when hanging out with friends or trying to 'relax' but I'm doing my best to try be kinder with my schedule. I think having more time to recharge would be good as I also struggle with interests/motivation to do anything else as half the time I'm so burnt out from work all I have the energy to do is message people back then sleep :(
I was holding it mostly OK until this week when one night after feeling particularly frustrated and sad, I came home and started crying over dinner because I was so overwhelmed. I think this is a sign something needs to change because I almost never cry, particularly not in front of my family. But I was able to have a chat about it and realised how much pressure I've been placing on myself to do well and how unrealistically I've created expectations for what a productive day should be - part of being productive is definitely enjoying breaks guilt-free to recharge! Its been so hard for me to take breaks properly as I get anxious about work even when hanging out with friends or trying to 'relax' but I'm doing my best to try be kinder with my schedule. I think having more time to recharge would be good as I also struggle with interests/motivation to do anything else as half the time I'm so burnt out from work all I have the energy to do is message people back then sleep :(
I was away off the internet once again myself for personal reasons, I don't think anyone really noticed me gone again on here since I'm not friends with anyone. I'm just currently talking to them in getting to know a few people on here still, then we will see what happens. I don't like nor rush any relations with people. I thought about just leaving PC for good since I still sorta feel like I don't belong here and no one would truly like the real me. Also, I'm still really afraid of really getting too close to another person again from the last person I met online somewhere and they said I was too much pretty much for them even though I was in a good place and mentally fit more than them. Them saying I'm a burden on them / made themself sick severely and couldn't handle hearing my past about my life and what I've been through so said they need to leave. Even though I never always talked about my past a lot however the months of getting to know them I guess they really didn't like it and had problems with me. I mean I never got closer to anyone EVER my whole life and that was the only person who I thought truly for the first time understood, accepted all of me, though I was dead wrong once again and my heart broke even more.
So I'm not sure what to really do now I talked about these feelings with my therapist last week and see her again today later on. I said when I wasn't online and just curiously came on PC website and looked no one seemed to even notice me being away again. I think maybe I'm not good at talking with people really anymore and just not cool to anyone on here since I have different likes, opinions, views, beliefs, and interests than others that they probably won't like me a lot. Like I met over the years don't like, get or accept and respect at least all things about myself and life. Honestly, I feel extremely alone I can't speak my mind fully to any person online or in-person in a proper way of course, and be my true authentic self without being judged for it. This world just doesn't accept a person like me and never will ( I think ) and all I've ever met was not great or bad people online and in-person causing me to have C-PTSD and terrified of people to be around. I don't know if that's luck or something but all I know is pain and extreme disappointment from people and that's been all my life.
Way deep down in my mind I think I'm not worth it, worth anything to anyone so what's the point and maybe should be alone with so social life and only my family, pets, family friends, help team, and all animals. I apologize for venting but it's what I've been going through still being on PC and on the internet in general. Social media I can say is very toxic and not safe as you think it is really. So word of caution and advice to all who have it, be very careful what you post and say online and ESPECIALLY who you befriend as well.
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This hits a little too close to home, tbh. Never getting that feeling of having a deep bond with anyone, except that one time, but then it turns into the most heartbreaking event in your life, I mean. Trust me when I tell you, that there's at least one other person who can relate to that in some way. <_<
Do you truly accept yourself? Sometimes I get the feeling that you actually don't. Even worse: it feels like you outright refuse yourself at times and may even reflect that onto other people.
Even if you may think otherwise: people want you here. But at the same time most of us are barely able to deal with our own problems. And even those who are better at managing their own life might be a little hesitant. Not because they don't like you, but because they're afraid; afraid that they may do something inappropriate, afraid that they could hurt you.
We ware no psychologists or therapists, we are all just oversized children who like talking about cute little critters that live in tiny balls. ^^"
I think you've said that PC is somewhat of a save haven for you. And I've also noticed that sometimes small fragments of your true personality shine through in your posts. It's those upbeat, full of energy, really cutesy posts that you sometimes make.
But I've also seen posts of you where every single word felt like you are crying out in pain. This happens every time when you start talking about your mental health problems. It feels like whenever one of these posts happen the save haven you found suddenly turns into a very hurtful place to you.
If you were to leave and were to look for a different place in hopes of finding another save haven: wouldn't the same happen there as well? Wouldn't you just be running away from yourself? Leaving behind those who truly want to know you?
We may all think differently and behave differently and some people may think and act in ways that no "normal" person could ever understand. But at least in one aspect do we all agree: we care about you and want only the best for you. But we want the best for _you_ and not for whoever else is trying to control you.
I've had similar experiences with people irl, like they told me I was annoying an obnoxious and were like "Autism isn't an excuse" like?? It literally is, I have trouble socially because I'm autistic.
Plus, it was only one time, like what?
Plus, it was only one time, like what?
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One thing I've heard about people with autism is that they "wear a mask" when in public with other people. That is, they deliberately try to not show much of their person, because they don't want people to be weirded out.
Is that actually true?
Whether you intended it or not, I found this wording very insensitive.
You likely didn't, of course, it's just being "weird" was the main reason adults and peers alike harassed me all my life.
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It's fine, I think I understand the over all gist of it.
Many autistic people (me included) hide any behaviours because they are seen as weird/not "normal" and we could be denied opportunities like jobs and such. Like we're seen as too much work and also most of these "cures" people have posted to say, Facebook, have killed autistic kids.
It's sad that we have to, but we'll be judged negatively if we don't.
I actually remember a mother in a video saying "when we found out our daughter was autistic, our lives were ruined." and a former CEO? of Autism Speaks said her autistic daughter would be better off dead.
That's why a lot of us advocate for acceptance.
Many autistic people (me included) hide any behaviours because they are seen as weird/not "normal" and we could be denied opportunities like jobs and such. Like we're seen as too much work and also most of these "cures" people have posted to say, Facebook, have killed autistic kids.
It's sad that we have to, but we'll be judged negatively if we don't.
I actually remember a mother in a video saying "when we found out our daughter was autistic, our lives were ruined." and a former CEO? of Autism Speaks said her autistic daughter would be better off dead.
That's why a lot of us advocate for acceptance.
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I thank you and again apologize for any sort of discomfort I may have cause. ^-^
Truth be told, I do have my reasons why I ask these questions. I don't mean any harm, but I'm also weirdly insensitive to all these emotion-things and often times come off as way too blunt. I actually have to fight quite a bit against my lack of empathy and I want to say it has gotten better, but apparently I'm still far off.
I've actually done some research myself. I've asked a couple people with autism, read some stuff, watched videos. I've heard about Autism Speaks and that they're apparently just a bunch of frauds who spread a lot of misinformation.
One of the potential things that the psychologist I went to a couple weeks ago, listed, that I could potentially have, actually was autism. They then made the bold move of throwing me into a six weeks limbo, one that's still not over, btw. Well, I ask too many questions all the time so I ended up thinking about a lot of things I experienced in life and they would actually make a lot of sense if that were the case.
Of course, I shouldn't jump to conclusions. For all I know, I could be wrong. ^^"
Anyway, again, I'm sorry! And thank you for not getting mad at me and explaining stuff! ^o^
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I think feeling this way is understandable. When you have a large forum and community such as this one, its easy to fall under those feelings of being unwanted. But those are merely your own thoughts, and they don't represent the opinions of others. When you actively post on things such as the "Emotion Topic", and the "What Are You Doing" topic, it's even easier to fall into feeling this way. You have so many people jumping in and out of those topics, It's easy for what you post to go unnoticed. But it has nothing to do with you personally. I'm not a huge fan of those topics, as I often feel like posts are white noise. It's nice to get a thought or two out, but I never carry an expectation for a response.
From my perspective, it seems like you integrated yourself strongly into the community in a very short time span. Much better than I ever had, or still have. It's admirable.