Parents forcing you to greet their friends

[dogtree]

i hate doing it. why greeting people you don't care to get to know . And they don't even care about you. it is pretty awkward situation.

 

[Arylett Charnoa]

ALL THE TIME. God, I hate it so much.

My mom is from a culture where you must kiss people when you meet them as well. So it gets even more awkward. You think saying hello is awkward? How about saying hello and getting kissed by some random middle aged woman who is overly perfumed and speaking in rapid Spanish in your ear? I can't tell you how many times it has happened, and it has never been pleasant.

She gets really offended and complains like hell if I I don't do it and would often guilt me as a child. Once it was over with, I'd just run straight back into my room, lock the door, and not come out until all of the strangers were gone. At least nowadays, my fiance comes with me and greets the random people as well. It's less awkward when you're not alone. I can also use more excuses to avoid the situation.

I'm very shy and meeting new people makes me awkward, so I even avoid greeting people that I'd like to greet and say hello to. What I prefer is just to be invisible and blend in. So you can imagine how much more unpleasant it is when I am forced to greet people I don't have any interest in.

 

[CoffeeDrink]

It's a respect thing. It's rude not to say hello. It's also prudent to watch and interact with your guests; and then count your silver after they leave.

 

[Corvus of the Black Night]

My parents? Having guests? What sort of madness is this?

 

[Nihilego]

o_O

I am... personally a big fan of making people feel welcome in my home. When I lived with my mum and she had people over I'd always try to make conversation and make them feel comfortable and whatnot. I never had to - in fact, I don't believe I was ever even asked to. It was just a given that I'd do it really. It's much more awkward being in someone else's home than having someone come to yours, after all. Same deal these days - if my housemates have someone over I'll at the very least say hi to them and introduce myself or something.

 

[stp]

I just kind of pretend I'm not there until my mom acknowledges me.

 

[Altairis]

I always come down and introduce myself unless I'm super super busy or sick or something, otherwise it just feels a bit weird to not say hi. Unless my grandparents were the ones that came over, I was never forced to stay downstairs and chat with the friends, I could leave once I said hello.

I didn't really like doing it though because most of the friends would know me but I would have no idea who they were lol. They were people who I had only seem a couple of times maybe, and were friends with my parents due to having a child my brother's or sister's age so I would have no idea their connection to my parents. My mom has started to introduce her friend as "This is X, he/she is Y's parent" which is helpful because I am terrible with names.

 

[Vinny Vidi Vici]

I think it's common courtesy if someone is over visiting and I'm in the house to go and say hi. If I'm in my room and someone is over chatting away, in a sense I am unintentionally eavesdropping on them, so it would feel wrong not to make my presence known, if that makes any sense. If it's someone I don't know very well or who I don't want to talk much too, I'll just come out, grab a coffee or snack pretend to be busy and just give a cursory greeting rather than do the big 'hello, how are you, how's the job, how's the family treating you' spiel.

One thing I do hate though is when I'm very sick and a guest insists on seeing me. I absolutely hate being openly pitied upon so whenever I'm sick I try to make sure my family don't tell anyone, but inevitably someone will be over, it will be mentioned and someone will insist on seeing my wrapped up in a blanked looking like ****. It's only happened a couple of times, but it's urgh, it's just one of those things I hate as I just don't know what to say or do in those situations. Like when people say 'get better now' how am I meant to respond to that? Of course I'm trying to get better. The only thing you can do is meekly say thanks even though I'm anything but thankful for them insisting on seeing me. If it isn't obvious enough, this is a bit of a sore spot for me.

 

[Kura]

Sometimes you need to realize that often, your parents are proud of you. And they DO like to speak to others about your accomplishments. So yes, to them it's nice to introduce you to their friends so then their friends can put a name to a face. I see nothing wrong with it.

If you're shy around new people or don't want to stick around, just say so! "It's a pleasure to meet you, I'm sorry if I don't speak much as I am shy. I hope you don't mind that I excuse myself as I had some things I wanted to finish up tonight. Have a lovely evening." Simple.

 

[Lusus]

I usually had to, and then even started doing it on my own. I didn't really mind since my room was right next to the living room/kitchen (it is both) and i usually just had to answer few questions and be back in my room in 5 minutes.

 

[pkmin3033]

My dad is a postman, and he talks about me with his customers. I've had people I don't recognise wave to me, or ask me how I'm doing, as they know me through association with him. It's a bit disconcerting sometimes, as I feel like I ought to know the person in question, but I've gotten used to it. I'm not overly keen on talking to my parent's friends for an extended period of time, but exchanging pleasantries isn't difficult, doesn't cost anything, and it's quite nice to know that, even if it's just through association, they're interested in my wellbeing. There are plenty of other things they could talk to my dad about, so that I'm a topic of conversation at all is actually quite flattering.

If people come in the house, I usually just say hi and then go upstairs out the way, because I have no interest in the conversation and/or wouldn't have anything to add to it. It's common courtesy to greet a guest, even if you have nothing to do with them, but beyond that I prefer to give my parents some privacy...they did it enough for me when I had friends over when I was younger, after all.