People Tries to Know You Better?

[Palamon]

So you have an anxiety that other people will not understand you so you don't like to get to know anyone? If I am understanding this right.

That would describe it pretty much, yes. Anxiety of not being understood fits what I said perfectly.

 

[Alex]

I'm the type of person to have friendships grow by their own accord. Naturally, the best friends I've made have been due to similar interests - whether it be PC, video games, taste in music, whatever. But I'm not exactly the outgoing person that believes I can be friends with the whole world and vice versa. In fact, I'm quite aware of the opposite, and completely OK with it. I won't try to force to a strong bond between you and I. If it happens naturally, then great! I'm all for it.

I believe that this perspective on relationships makes me a very cherishing person who does not want to lose the bonds I've helped create.

 

[pkmin3033]

It's a very difficult thing to avoid really, because the more you talk to someone, the more you're going to reveal to them, and the more they're going to learn about you, no matter how close-mouthed you are. At the same time, it's also impossible for someone to get to know someone else, because they only ever see what they want to see. In short, it's always going to be unsatisfactory, because what people learn won't be what you tell them, and their interpretation of what you DO tell them will be totally different to what you intended.

...and yes, I realise that is an extremely pendantic and evasive response to the question. So.

I've always been a bit of a paradox when it comes to this....I'm not particularly secretive with my personality or my views if I'm asked...and sometimes when I'm not. I've always been highly opinionated, and I'm not going to censor myself for anyone out of fear of being judged or misunderstood or anything like that: if people don't like the way I am, that's THEIR problem to work through, not mine. I am who I am. Deal with it, or don't. Either way, leave me out of it. I refuse to be bound by the expectations others have of me, and I will not take responsibility for the way my words are misinterpreted if that occurs, either.

But when it comes to actually TELLING people things, volunteering personal information, sharing my secrets or my concerns, confiding in others, the whole "friendship" thing...I'm as close-mouthed as they come. I don't allow people to get closer to me in that sense. At all. It's a completely shut door. People who try to get to know me in that sense are wasting their time; they've got more chance of turning back the tide with a spoon. I have numerous reasons for this. I don't particularly feel like sharing most of them.

As for me getting to know others...I tend to take people as they are. If they want to tell me things, that's fine. If they don't, that's fine too. I make assumptions the same as everyone else, and I may occasionally ask a question for clarification, but I don't actively seek to get to know people. I've reached a point in my life where I'm quite content with conversation and have no real need of that kind of intimacy...been there, done that, nobody bothered to buy me a t-shirt, etc.

tl;dr People know what I'm like, but they don't know me.

 

[Frostweaver]

I'm surprised that a lot of you say you are quiet. Surely you can't all have the same personality.

Hm or potentially this particular type of online atmosphere is more likely to attract people of a particular personality than others.

At least for RL friends, I don't really open up to them not because "I'm a quiet person" but I see most of them as people to hang out with but not the type of people to ask for help. There are times I only rant with them but that's the extent of it.

 

[Arylett Charnoa]

It depends. I suppose the more I say, the more people will be curious about me. In the past, I was quite popular on the internet. People approached me left and right, and on the last two forums I was on, they were always curious and trying to get to know me. Very few managed to get through. Only those who were persistent and started speaking about more serious, more interesting things to me. During moments where I withdraw to myself and speak to no one though, I obviously get no approaches.

Meanwhile, in real life, on the occasions I've been forced to interact with actual people (which I don't anymore), I've gotten approached more times that I've been expected. I suppose people get curious about me for some reason, even though I'm relatively subdued and shy.

 

[Dusk]

I suppose people try to get to know me both irl and through the internet. I don't decline casual conversation with new people most of the time, although I'm much more likely to push people away irl depending on my intuition of what kind of person I think they are. (Also, I think I've basically forgotten how to keep in touch with people, and how to actually go out to see people again in person. I don't really get out of the house much for fun anymore... My energy levels have decreased rather quickly in the past few years.)

Basically, I'm generally friendly when socializing, especially online. Though I can be a little cold depending on the person, and I can be pretty selective about who I open up to and keep in contact with.

 

[Aurora]

IRL socialising is a bit of a joke for me considering that people never get to know anything much about me beyond a superficial façade. Complicating matters is the fact that I have little in common with most people because I am not into much popular culture. Combine these two things and you get somebody who finds it difficult to strike conversations and maintain healthy relationships.

I like socialising on the Internet. It is easier for me in some places than it is others; I'd be lying if I didn't say that I find it a bit easier to connect with people on Smogon than on PokeCommunity. However, because I can be myself on the Internet, I am much more open. I also share much more in common with most people I find on the Internet.

 

[Lucid]

I prefer to stay pretty superficial with most friends and acquaintances.

 

[Margot]

I'm really good at talking to people in small or medium sized groups, but have SUCH a hard time approaching people one on one. 99% of the time if I initiate a conversation with you, even if we have been friends for years, I'll feel like I'm pestering or burdening you. So I don't reach out that often, even when I really would like to get to know someone better.

I think that's why almost all of my close friends are outgoing people. They tend to initiate things with me, so I end up interacting with them more. I am working on reaching out to people I would like to get to know better, though :) You can't win them all, but I wouldn't want to miss out on talking to some cool people.