FireRed hack: Pokémon Simulacra!

[negative]

I like it!
The story is quite nice, and the tiles, and palettes are very fresh.
Lunaceon City is... the opposite of Solaceon Town in Sinnoh?(by name and all.)

 

[Payload]

Alright, time to go old school on this.

You have just turned fifteen years old. Kind of cliche, wouldn't you say? Your father is a world renowned pokémon scientist Studying what? and he has offered you your first pokémon in exchange for a little errand he needs you to run for him. What's the errand, and why isn't he completing it? You are very excited at the thought of your very own pokémon. Ever since you were very little, you and your childhood rival would run around pretending to be pokémon or pretending to have pokémon battles. The night before the day you will receive your first pokémon, you have a dream. A dream of you causing havoc and destruction. How so? You wake up covered in cold sweat and realize that it's just a dream. You would never do such a thing. Why should the player be concerned over a dream? Your mood quickly changes as you realize what day it is and you promptly get out of bed and go to the kitchen for breakfast. You eat quickly and run over to your father's lab. You receive your first pokémon Which is...? and leave for Lunaceon Town with a wave. And so your journey begins. To do what? Catch all the Pokémon? Conquer the league?

Overall, there's a few cliches in there, and some missing details that you might want to fill in.
I'm not even going to bother with the 'legend' because it's basically the one from Diamond & Pearl, which has been overused far too many times. Anyhow, I wish you good luck.

 

[Samike360]

^Most of those "questions" you asked he is probably delibrately leaving unanswered so that the reader would want to play to hack. People would play the hack to find out why the dream was so scary and what the first pokemon is.

 

[Payload]

^Most of those "questions" you asked he is probably delibrately leaving unanswered so that the reader would want to play to hack. People would play the hack to find out why the dream was so scary and what the first pokemon is.

I wasn't asking why the dream was so scary, I was more inquiring why the player would be concerned with a dream. Dreams aren't real.

Deliberate or not, if you leave out too many details (which he actually didn't, but it happens) the story becomes too vague for anyone to truly interpret correctly.
If a story is too vague, and it's all revealed in detail in the game, that doesn't do us all that much good, does it? No offense, but I'm not going to play a hack if the story doesn't make any sense.

Also another nitpick I have is with the mountains. The saturation isn't as high as the other tiles, so they don't really look like they fit in.

 

[Vrai]

Deliberate or not, if you leave out too many details (which he actually didn't, but it happens) the story becomes too vague for anyone to truly interpret correctly.
If a story is too vague, and it's all revealed in detail in the game, that doesn't do us all that much good, does it? No offense, but I'm not going to play a hack if the story doesn't make any sense.

Also another nitpick I have is with the mountains. The saturation isn't as high as the other tiles, so they don't really look like they fit in.

As much as Cooley probably appreciates your post, I have to disagree with this one. Specifically, this part:

If a story is too vague, and it's all revealed in detail in the game, that doesn't do us all that much good, does it? No offense, but I'm not going to play a hack if the story doesn't make any sense.

A story can be vague. All the storyline in the thread is meant to do, is explain a little bit (note I said "little bit") of what's to be expected in-game. The actual purpose is to really just capture your attention. Of course, if it doesn't make any sense at all, no one's going to want to play it. But a story with well-placed blanks that make it vague, I think, can be pulled off.

Also, with the clichés; if it's good enough, they work. Sorry, but that's the way it goes. Some things are clichéd, but in the right hands, they feel.. less repetitive? Something like that, yeah.

I actually really like the way the mountain contrasts with the other tiles.

 

[Payload]

As much as Cooley probably appreciates your post, I have to disagree with this one. Specifically, this part:

If a story is too vague, and it's all revealed in detail in the game, that doesn't do us all that much good, does it? No offense, but I'm not going to play a hack if the story doesn't make any sense.

A story can be vague. All the storyline in the thread is meant to do, is explain a little bit (note I said "little bit") of what's to be expected in-game. The actual purpose is to really just capture your attention. Of course, if it doesn't make any sense at all, no one's going to want to play it. But a story with well-placed blanks that make it vague, I think, can be pulled off.

Also, with the clichés; if it's good enough, they work. Sorry, but that's the way it goes. Some things are clichéd, but in the right hands, they feel.. less repetitive? Something like that, yeah.

I actually really like the way the mountain contrasts with the other tiles.

(Where does Cooley come into this? o_o)

I'm not asking for an overload of information about the story.
As I stated above, he was pretty good about not leaving out the important details, but when I read a storyline, if there's details that can alter how I interpret the story, then I'll go ahead and ask.
It's not really the quantity of details missing either, it's the quality. I may ask about smaller, lesser details from time to time, but if there's bigger details, I'll ask. Sure, granted, if I played a hack, it would reveal more, and this is more of a synopsis, not a novel. "Blanks" can be misleading, and sometimes that's a really good thing. But in some cases, they can create some confusion. Missing details and or confusing the player can make a nice build-up for plot twists, but if you have too many, again, it just gets too hectic.

Cliches will always happen, and I agree, not all of them are bad. But if I'm looking at a hack, and comparing it to another to see which one I would rather play, would I choose the one with more originality, or the one with more cliches?
It's just my own personal belief that poorly executed cliches aren't a good thing.

And the difference between the mountain was again, just my opinion. I'm fine if he doesn't change it, I was just throwing that in there.

 

[sasquatchd00d]

You have just turned fifteen years old. Kind of cliche, wouldn't you say?

What am I supposed to do about the age thing? It will be completely stupid to say, "Oh you just turned 45, now go have a pokémon adventure." It just doesn't fit. Fifteen fits well.

Your father is a world renowned pokémon scientist Studying what?

Studying pokémon as the name implies. I don't have to be super specific like, "Your father is a world renowned Magmar to Magmortar evolution scientist." Sometimes, too much detail is bad.

and he has offered you your first pokémon in exchange for a little errand he needs you to run for him. What's the errand, and why isn't he completing it?

Okay, I'll admit you have me here. Yes, this is a little cliche, but it will really play into the story later.

You are very excited at the thought of your very own pokémon. Ever since you were very little, you and your childhood rival would run around pretending to be pokémon or pretending to have pokémon battles. The night before the day you will receive your first pokémon, you have a dream. A dream of you causing havoc and destruction. How so?

Havoc and destruction like say Team Rocket or Team Galactic would cause destruction. Stealing pokémon, blowing things up, etc.

You wake up covered in cold sweat and realize that it's just a dream. You would never do such a thing. Why should the player be concerned over a dream?

Actually, if you read it, you would realize the player isn't concerned. They realize that it is just a dream. Also, if you put together the definition of simulacra and the story, it becomes obvious. Should I just spell out the whole story so every detail is included and everyone knows exactly what happens?

Your mood quickly changes as you realize what day it is and you promptly get out of bed and go to the kitchen for breakfast. You eat quickly and run over to your father's lab. You receive your first pokémon Which is...?

Why do I need to specify this? Really. There could be a choice of three to choose from.

and leave for Lunaceon Town with a wave. And so your journey begins. To do what? Catch all the Pokémon? Conquer the league?

A journey does not have to specify one goal.

I don't think my story is horrible like you may think. It takes so reading between the lines to understand. I'm not here to spoon feed every detail to you guys. There's obviously no point in playing the hack then. Maybe I'll just write out every detail of what happens so you all can imagine the perfect hack in your head and not even bother to play it at all.

EDIT:

I have a little update.

Credits to kyledove for the sprites.

 

[Sarcastic Prince]

It could have been better if the word "Pokemon" 's "p" is a capital letter.

 

[sasquatchd00d]

It could have been better if the word "Pokemon" 's "p" is a capital letter.

I like to have it de-capitalized. I just think it looks better that way. I still need to add text color too it too.

 

[Payload]

What am I supposed to do about the age thing? It will be completely stupid to say, "Oh you just turned 45, now go have a pokémon adventure." It just doesn't fit. Fifteen fits well.

I'm fine with the age. But the 'you just turned...' implies you had a birthday, which is a common cliche in hacks.

Studying pokémon as the name implies. I don't have to be super specific like, "Your father is a world renowned Magmar to Magmortar evolution scientist." Sometimes, too much detail is bad.

I'm not talking about specific Pokémon research, but different professors tend to research different things. (E.g. Rowan with evolution, etc.)

Okay, I'll admit you have me here. Yes, this is a little cliche, but it will really play into the story later.

Alright, cool.

Havoc and destruction like say Team Rocket or Team Galactic would cause destruction. Stealing pokémon, blowing things up, etc.

Okay.

Actually, if you read it, you would realize the player isn't concerned. They realize that it is just a dream. Also, if you put together the definition of simulacra and the story, it becomes obvious. Should I just spell out the whole story so every detail is included and everyone knows exactly what happens?

I wasn't aware simulacra was a word. My bad.

Why do I need to specify this? Really. There could be a choice of three to choose from.

No real need to specify, just clarifying.

A journey does not have to specify one goal.

True enough.

I don't think my story is horrible like you may think. It takes so reading between the lines to understand. I'm not here to spoon feed every detail to you guys. There's obviously no point in playing the hack then. Maybe I'll just write out every detail of what happens so you all can imagine the perfect hack in your head and not even bother to play it at all.

When did I state it was horrible? It's a good story, but I'm a very picky person when it comes to details. And it's good that you left blank, but as I stated before, I tend to inquire about some details.

--
I think you're taking my questions the wrong way. I'm not asking for the whole story or anything, as much as it would seem. I'm here to give some constructive criticism, as useless as it may seem. Again, your story is fine, and I'm cool with you leaving details, but if there's some details left out that just don't make sense, I'll probably end up asking.

 

[sasquatchd00d]

I think you're taking my questions the wrong way. I'm not asking for the whole story or anything, as much as it would seem. I'm here to give some constructive criticism, as useless as it may seem. Again, your story is fine, and I'm cool with you leaving details, but if there's some details left out that just don't make sense, I'll probably end up asking.

I do appreciate your post and constructive criticism. I'm sorry if I sounded rude. I was in a bad mood. x_x I'll probably revise the story later and take into account some of your ideas and input.

And to the mountain tile issue you mentioned earlier, I've been experimenting with many different palettes and also different mountain tiles. I personally was not too fond of how the mountain palettes contrasted so drastically with the other tiles and palettes either. I always have trouble finding suitable mountain palettes it seems.

Anyways, more updates soon guys. Probably more along the lines of graphical updates, but possibly a few scripts and such.

 

[Yummeh.Strawberriez]

Hey, just wanna say, the hack is looking great so far :D
And if you ever need a hand i'd be happy to help,
I can do pretty much the whole graphical side, every bit, and a bit of scripting.
But also, the indoor tiles look amazing!
Kyledoves, right?
But yeah, good luck mate.

 

[sasquatchd00d]

Here's a small update guys. It was pointed out that the mountain tiles and palette contrasted too much with the other tiles and I agreed. I experimented with tiles and palettes for a long time before I came up with this. I like this much much better.

New Mountains:

Old Mountains:

What do you guys think of them? Personally, I feel they fit much better. I'll credit Pokémon Ruby AXVE for the tiles. ^_^

 

[KODER]

Your hack is very good,
the new mountain looks good, but it would be better if a little overshadowed pallets
luck

====>.:::KODER:::.<====

 

[Germaniac]

Are there Arceus in this game?

 

[colcolstyles]

I liked Enigma better :\

at least I'm smart about it

 

[sasquatchd00d]

I liked Enigma better :\

at least I'm smart about it

What was better about Enigma?

 

[colcolstyles]

Maybe it's just nostalgia but I think it was presented better, both graphically and plot-wise. Though knowing you, I'm sure this will turn out just as fine.

 

[sasquatchd00d]

Maybe it's just nostalgia but I think it was presented better, both graphically and plot-wise. Though knowing you, I'm sure this will turn out just as fine.

Plot-wise they are basically the same. I only dropped the tablet idea and picked up the dream sequence.

 

[colcolstyles]

...picked up the dream sequence.

That might be the problem right there. I am, hypocritically, not big on clichés, naturally.
I can't quite put my finger on it but Enigma had something that Simulacra doesn't. But if you need something concrete, I much preferred your Enigma tileset. I almost adopted it myself. Same goes for the palettes.