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Pokemon - Elemental Islands

Do you like my Fan Fic?


  • Total voters
    20
  • This poll will close: .
5,114
Posts
17
Years
    • Age 31
    • AU
    • Seen Feb 18, 2023
    nvmYAY NEW CHAPPIE! Credit to FMxFG for edit and ideas, but the story was ALL MINE!

    Maddy, with the help of Skarmory, Shya and Eve (Gastly wanted to, but he would just float through), picked up Kai, and took him to the PokeCentre. It was fairly close by, and although they primarily treated pokemon and their wounds, they would take Kai and treat him as well. As soon as they walked through the doors, the nurse and her chansey assistants noticed Kai's deep slashes, and took him immediately to a ward. Maddy sighed and returned Kai's and her own pokemon.

    "How's he gonna be, nurse?" Maddy sighed again at looked up at the nurse.

    "Fine, but he'll be in here a while." The nurse smiled reassuringly and walked with Kai into the back room.

    Maddy walked over to a nearby seat and plonked her butt. This was Ian's fault, and Kai would be dead if Sneasel kept going. Thankfully, he had stopped in the knick of time. Although it was in the past, Maddy couldn't help but worry about what might have been if the Sneasel had kept up its assault. Even though she had only been travelling with Kai a short while, their friendship had strengthened ten-fold, and Maddy was having trouble not worrying about him.

    "Look, Cyndaquil, I knew that tree was there! It's just that that Bellsprout was distracting me, and I had to run away. It's just... Don't get me started! And don't look at me that way! I've got your number!" A girl with blonde hair had just tripped into the door of the Pokemon Centre. She leaped up and shot a dagger-like look at the tiny Cyndaquil, who glared straight back in a somewhat mocking manner.

    "Oh, shut up, Sulfur-snout. That... thing was in the way!" She marched towards the counter and slammed a pokeball before the nurse.

    "Yes, miss?" The nurse at the front desk raised an eyebrow as she looked at an annoyed Cyndaquil and the short-tempered girl.

    "Please heal my Mareep and Cyndaquil, miss. We got into a spot of trouble on the way here." The girl picked up the Cyndaquil and plonked it on the desk.

    "Yes, right away, Miss?" the nurse picked up the Cyndaquil and the pokeball and raised both eyebrows at the girl.

    "Theresa. Theresa Park," the girl sighed as she took a seat near to Maddy's. She sighed and looked at Maddy, who was staring at her feet.

    "You right?" Theresa prodded Maddy a couple times before Maddy tilted her head upwards.

    "Hmm? Oh, yeah…" Maddy closed her eyes and continued to stare at her feet.

    "You don't look very alright. There's something wrong with you. Don't worry, you can tell me – I'm good at keeping secrets." Theresa poked Maddy again, and Maddy lifted her head to full height to look at her assailant.

    "It's a long story…" Maddy sighed, and looked into Theresa's eyes. They were an odd shade of grey, and shone fiercely in the light. She looked like someone who you didn't want to get on the wrong side of, despite her height. She was quite a lot shorter than Maddy.

    "I've got time. I'm not supposed to meet up with my sister for another hour, and we're supposed to meet here," she grunted with distaste.

    Maddy sighed once more, and repeated what she had seen that day; the fighting, the threats, the hurting… Talking made Maddy feel sick. She stopped halfway through the part in which the Sneasel had attacked.

    Theresa nodded and said "I kinda get the rest. You don't have to continue. I'm psychic."

    "Terey! There you are!" a small girl, about eight or so, skipped into the Centre and giggled at Theresa.

    "Oh, great, she's here ..." Theresa smacked her forehead and sank into the chair.

    "Terey! Terey! I've looked everywhere for you! But when I saw someone face-plant on the ground back there, I just knew it was you! I was right, wasn't I? But then I went to the Market first and bought this Silver pokéball! Ain't it great? Look at it sparkle!" The girl grinned widely as she produced a pokeball with silver where the red should have been and bounced around her older sister. Theresa inspected her as one might inspect a gulpin and groaned, sinking further still into her chair as if she would have liked nothing more than to sink into it.

    "I swear she's adopted," Theresa assured Maddy who giggled as Sarah stopped suddenly and raised an eyebrow.

    "You already asked mum and she said I wasn't! Silly billy!" Sarah giggled and Theresa buried her face in her hands.

    "Anyway, Maddy, this is my adopted sister, Sarah. Sarah, this is Maddy. She's here for reasons that a brat like you doesn't need to know." Theresa smiled smugly at her sister.

    "Hi, Sarah, please to meet you." Maddy smiled at Sarah, who was thrusting her hand, up and down.

    "Hihi, Maddy, ditto! Oh, and Theresa's lying, I'm not adopted, I swear. Just go ask my mum! She said no, I was there!" Sarah returned the smile and pulled her hand away from Maddy's. "Terey, I'm old enough to know what's going on! Tell me!" she whined, beating her fists against Theresa's knees.

    "Yeah. You keep telling yourself that." Theresa rolled her eyes, and yawned.

    "Didn't you get enough sleep? Mum told you to go to bed at 9, but of course, you went to bed at 12! You're so silly! Always listen to mum, 'cause she knows best! But you nev-"

    "Sarah, I get it. You can shut up now." Theresa closed her eyes and slapped her forehead multiple times.

    "Fine, fine sis..." Sarah crossed her arms and sat down looking about as livid as a spearow after being hit by a rock.

    There was an awkward silence for a few moments as Theresa and Sarah shot nasty looks at each other and Maddy stared at her feet.

    A nurse walked in a broke the silence with, "Excuse me, Maddy Ryder? We need to talk to you." The nurse had a thin, nervous smile on her face, but made no further comments.

    Maddy hung her head and walked over to the desk. "Yeah?" Maddy looked at the nurse and raised her eye brows.

    "Your friend, Kai, will be out in a few minutes. He's going to be okay," the nurse said, and a bright smile graced her lips.

    "That's great! Where is he now?" Maddy grinned and clapped her hands together.

    "He's coming." The nurse left the room as Kai entered, hobbling along with the aid of a pair of crutches.

    "Kai! You're okay!" Maddy ran to him and hugged him tightly.

    "Uh, not so tight. These cuts burn, y'know?" Kai smiled weakly and Maddy let go.

    "Oh, um, sorry... I'm just glad you're okay." Maddy grinned and walked over to the seat she's been sitting at previously.

    "Yeah, I'm glad too. Uh, just don't touch me, eh, it hurts." Kai limped over to the seat.

    "Well, this is Theresa." Maddy gestured to Theresa.

    "Hi," Theresa said simply and shook Kai's hand. "Sounds like you've been through a rough time. Good going!"

    "And this is her sister, Sarah," Maddy indicated to Sarah, who was sitting there speechless.

    "H-hi... W-w-wow," Sarah murmered, eyes fixed on the scratches that ran down Kai's arms.

    "Uh, nice to meet you too." Kai smiled and sat down.

    "How'd you get that?" Sarah stared in awe at the slashes.

    "A stupid, ugly, scummy momma's boy put his Sneasel on me during a battle." Kai bit his lip as he remembered what had happened only a few hours ago.

    "Wow, you must be good! That Sneasel musta' been no match for you!" Sarah smiled and stared at Kai.

    "Ehe, yeah... I could have beaten it with one hand tied behind my back. Maybe both," Kai answered with a hint of sarcasm. He smiled and nervously scratched his head.

    "I can't really battle," Sarah admitted. "Maybe you could teach me!"

    "Huh?"

    "Okay, Sarah. That's enough flirting; we have to go!" Theresa stood up and put her hands on her hips.

    "No, no, I want to tag along with them!" Sarah bounced up and smiled at Theresa.

    "No, we have to get going. We're going to miss the ferry! I paid good money for those tickets!"

    "No! I want to stay with Kai!"

    "You're coming with me!"

    "No! you can't make me!"

    "You are coming with me to the power of infinity!"

    "I'm staying with Kai to the power of infinity plus one!" Sarah retorted.

    "Fine. I can see where this is going. You stay with your Romeo and carry on flirting. I'm off," Theresa sneered and turned around to walk out the door.

    "I wasn't flirting!" Sarah humphed and sat down with her arms crossed. "And what's a 'Romeo', anyway?"

    "Be seeing you!" Theresa turned around, saluted, winked, then walked out the door.

    "Uh, bye!" Maddy waved as Kai nodded his good-bye.

    "So, so, so, I'm with you guys, right? That's great! I have two pokemon already! A Skitty and another one that I bought today. That man said a funny name, but I called it Kushi!" Sarah smiled and clicked two pokeballs off her belt; a light pink one, and a silver one.

    She threw them into the air, and yelled, "Go! Floss! Kushi!"

    Out released the cat-like pokemon, Skitty, and the other a strange pokemon that Maddy had never seen before.

    "Wow! A Karanakushi!" Kai stared in amazement and quickly, in much pain, whipped out his Pokedex.

    "Karanakushi, is one of the new pokemon from Sinnoh! They were discovered not all that long ago. You're very lucky to have one!" Kai grinned at Sarah as she turned a light shade of pink.

    The Karanakushi was like a pre-evolution of Lapras. It was a pink colour, and had bobbles on its head. It had small spikes on its back and a white stomach. It was cute and looked very confused.

    "So, uh, this pokemon is rare?" Sarah put her hand out and patted the Karanakushi.

    "I didn't say that. I said they're new and you're lucky to have one." Kai pointed at her while looking through his pokedex. Sarah blushed bright red as she returned her pokemon. Kai looked up and stared at her with his eyebrows raised. There was an awkward silence as Sarah looked at Kai with adoring eyes. Kai edged back a bit and picked up his crutches in defence.

    "So, should we be on our way to WhiteCity's Gym?" Maddy tapped her finger on the chair and stood up. Kai nodded in approval and stood up on his crutches. Sarah was still looking at Kai with an unbroken gaze, but walked over to the door, to get ready to go.
    Kai quickly limped over to Maddy's ear before they got out the door and whispered in it.

    "Sarah's looking at me weird, like a Noctowl's eyes standing out in the dark, but scarier. I think she might like me." Kai looked suspiciously at Sarah, who was still watching him closely.

    "Hah, just ignore it. It's just a crush," Maddy laughed and walked out the door, and headed down the street to a large, white building with the words "POKEMON GYM" in big letters on the roof.
     
    Last edited:

    Orange_Flaaffy

    Crystal Bell Keeper
    340
    Posts
    19
    Years
  • You have a good start for a story but it could use a little work :). I've read a couple chapters but find it hard to keep track of things with so many comments between some of the chapters :). It might be good to put links to each of the chapters in the first post for easier reading :). I will post a more detailed reveiw in a couple of days, keep writing :D!
    Note: I voted a little lower than most not so much becuase of the plot itself as for some editting, detail, and wording toubles :)
     

    Scarlet Weather

    The Game is Afoot!
    1,823
    Posts
    17
    Years
  • Okay, Madii-Chan! On with the next chapter- and Sarah. Funny Sarah. Me like. But, I shall now commence with the "search and destroy" grammar-error locater. You can feel free to change mistakes as I find 'em.

    Maddy, with the help of Skarmory, Shya and Eve (Gastly wanted to, but he would just float through), picked up Kai, and took him to the PokeCentre. It was fairly close by, and although they primarily treated pokemon and their wounds, they would take Kai and treat him as well. As soon as they walked through the doors, the nurse and her chansey assistants noticed Kai's deep slashes, and took him immediately to a ward. Maddy sighed and returned Kai's and her own pokemon.

    Avoid parenthetical expressions. Always. Anyway, "would" is the wrong verb tense.

    She leaped up and shot a look of daggers at the tiny Cyndaquil, who glared straight back in a somewhat mocking manner.

    Um, "Look of daggers" is an odd wording. "A dagger-like glare" might sound a little better, or something on those lines.

    Theresa. TheresaPark,"

    I don't need to tell you what's wrong here.

    "Terey! Terey! I've looked everywhere for you! But when I saw someone face-plant on the ground back there, I just knew it was you! I was right, wasn't I? But then I went to the Market first and bought this Silver pokéball! Ain't it great? Look at it sparkle!" The girl grinned widely as she produced a pokeball with silver where the red should have been and bounced around her older sister. Theresa inspected her as one might inspect a gulpin and groaned, sinking further still into her chair as if she would have liked nothing more than to sink into it.

    "I swear she's adopted," Theresa assured Maddy who giggled as Sarah stopped suddenly and raised an eyebrow.

    "You already asked mum and she said I wasn't! Silly billy!" Sarah giggled and Theresa buried her face in her hands.

    "Anyway, Maddy, this is my adopted sister, Sarah. Sarah, this is Maddy. She's here for reasons that a brat like you doesn't need to know." Theresa smiled smugly at her sister.

    "Hi, Sarah, please to meet you." Maddy smiled at Sarah, who was thrusting her hand, up and down.

    "Hihi, Maddy, ditto! Oh, and Theresa's lying, I'm not adopted, I swear. Just go ask my mum! She said no: I was there!" Sarah returned the smile and pulled her hand away from Maddy's. "Terey, I'm old enough to know what's going on! Tell me!" she whined, beating her fists against Theresa's knees.

    I didn't see much wrong, besides the colon misuse. I just grabbed the whole thing because it was a classic little sister moment, and I loved it. Yeah. Funny. XD

    There was an awkward silence for a few moments as Theresa and Sarah were shooting nasty looks at each other as Maddy stared at her feet.

    Change "were shooting" to "shot" and "as" to "and". That should do it.

    "Karanakushi, is one of the new pokemon from Sinnoh! They were discovered not all that long ago. You're very lucky to have one!" Kai grinned at Sarah as she turned a light shade of pink.

    The Karanakushi was like a pre-evolution of Lapras. It was a pink colour, and had bobbles on its head. It had small spikes on its back and a white stomach. It was cute and looked very confused.

    Describe Karankushi right after it gets released from its ball, please. And the whole "New Pokemon" thing is a little odd- it's like it just appeared from nowhere one day. How about "foreign Pokemon"? Better explanation.
     
    5,114
    Posts
    17
    Years
    • Age 31
    • AU
    • Seen Feb 18, 2023
    Avoid parenthetical expressions. Always. Anyway, "would" is the wrong verb tense.
    I am most terrible with grammer XD

    Um, "Look of daggers" is an odd wording. "A dagger-like glare" might sound a little better, or something on those lines
    .

    All FMxFG... I swear, she's good at FF, so i assume that she had right grammer...

    I didn't see much wrong, besides the colon misuse. I just grabbed the whole thing because it was a classic little sister moment, and I loved it. Yeah. Funny. XD

    Again, the thing bolded is FMxFG i must go through it before I post...

    Change "were shooting" to "shot" and "as" to "and". That should do it.

    Can do, and will do, but the as is right. They shot looks AS she looked at her feet..

    Describe Karankushi right after it gets released from its ball, please. And the whole "New Pokemon" thing is a little odd- it's like it just appeared from nowhere one day. How about "foreign Pokemon"? Better explanation.

    Will do, and she bought the ball from the markets, unless, that was missed so who knows where that guy came from!


    You have a good start for a story but it could use a little work :). I've read a couple chapters but find it hard to keep track of things with so many comments between some of the chapters :). It might be good to put links to each of the chapters in the first post for easier reading :). I will post a more detailed reveiw in a couple of days, keep writing :D!
    Note: I voted a little lower than most not so much becuase of the plot itself as for some editting, detail, and wording toubles :)

    I blame Eon for commments, I BLAME EON!! Ehe, no hard feelinggs, eh?
    And the links... ehe, I am a hopeless ... thing at HTML XD
    btw, is that good comments, or bad comments?
     
    Last edited:

    FullmetalxFangirl

    ...ily...
    266
    Posts
    17
    Years
  • Okay, Madii-Chan! On with the next chapter- and Sarah. Funny Sarah. Me like. But, I shall now commence with the "search and destroy" grammar-error locater. You can feel free to change mistakes as I find 'em.



    Avoid parenthetical expressions. Always. Anyway, "would" is the wrong verb tense.



    Um, "Look of daggers" is an odd wording. "A dagger-like glare" might sound a little better, or something on those lines.

    Maybe, but ... I remember it being used in one of Shakespeare's plays. Wrong context, maybe? xD;;

    I don't need to tell you what's wrong here.

    ... Whoops. O_o;;

    I didn't see much wrong, besides the colon misuse. I just grabbed the whole thing because it was a classic little sister moment, and I loved it. Yeah. Funny. XD

    Typo. >\

    Change "were shooting" to "shot" and "as" to "and". That should do it.

    It's longer this way ... Still makes sense how it is.

    Describe Karankushi right after it gets released from its ball, please. And the whole "New Pokemon" thing is a little odd- it's like it just appeared from nowhere one day. How about "foreign Pokemon"? Better explanation.

    -SDGSKNLDASFJNSPAMSDGHFJLKHFGHJFDSAJGDASFGH-
     

    Scarlet Weather

    The Game is Afoot!
    1,823
    Posts
    17
    Years
  • Can do, and will do, but the as is right. They shot looks AS she looked at her feet..

    No, you said "As they shot looks as she looked at her feet." That isn't right English. XD

    Maybe, but ... I remember it being used in one of Shakespeare's plays. Wrong context, maybe? xD;;

    It's Shakespearean English, so it is written in the wrong order. Context is right, wording is wrong. Just 'cause Shakespeare used it doesn't mean you don't have to edit it so it follows the current rules of the language.
     

    FullmetalxFangirl

    ...ily...
    266
    Posts
    17
    Years
  • No, you said "As they shot looks as she looked at her feet." That isn't right English. XD

    "As they shot looks and she looked at her feet" isn't right, either.

    It's Shakespearean English, so it is written in the wrong order. Context is right, wording is wrong. Just 'cause Shakespeare used it doesn't mean you don't have to edit it so it follows the current rules of the language.

    Don't blame me ... I have the scene with the swing stuck in my head ... -dies- I couldn't think of anything else at the time. I was busy with other things as well ...

    I HATE THE STUPID POST LIMIT ON THIS THING. ASDJFGHDSACFVDBNFBCVBKJGDJFKJVSKVJHGVCVBNJMKNHBVCVBHNJHBCXCVBNMNBVCXBNM,NBVNM,NBVC JKMCXDCFGH >\
     

    Orange_Flaaffy

    Crystal Bell Keeper
    340
    Posts
    19
    Years
  • blame Eon for commments, I BLAME EON!! Ehe, no hard feelinggs, eh?
    And the links... ehe, I am a hopeless ... thing at HTML XD
    btw, is that good comments, or bad comments?
    I'm not blaming anyone, I'm just saying it gets in the way of reading :)
    I'd be more than happy to link all your chapters into one peice of code and then PM/e-mail you it to post in your first post :)
     
    5,114
    Posts
    17
    Years
    • Age 31
    • AU
    • Seen Feb 18, 2023
    Well, I did just send you a PM, so

    and yes, that last bit would be fantastic!
     

    Orange_Flaaffy

    Crystal Bell Keeper
    340
    Posts
    19
    Years
  • I decided to do this the easy way :). Just hit quote, edit out the quote tags and copy and paste the chapter listing into your first post :). I will edit it out of mine after you do.
    After looking over you whole fic though I have to agree with Art, running your fic like a mini RPG with other peoples characters is not a good idea. Making up all of them on your own gives you more freedom and depth, as writing someone elses characters often makes it sound like they are just cardbroad cut outs running around, a collection of details and not a 'real' character.

    Chapter 2
    Chapter 3
    Chapter 4
    Chapter 5
    Chapter 6
    Chapter 7
    Chapter 8
     
    25
    Posts
    17
    Years
    • Seen Feb 20, 2007
    Yo, Dragon-boy, Maddie has two evil critics taking care of her already. She doesn't need a third. Anyway, I don't see too much of a problem with the island names, since they dictate the type of Pokemon predominantly found there, not necessarily that only one island has this type of feature. Btw, swamps could be found all over "Poison Island", and be filled with gas due to all the danged poison types. Anyway, since Maddie is beggining, right now she needs to focus more on grammar, description, plot, and character development then anything else. Foolish mortal. Anyway, I do agree that your names are a bit more descriptive, but... meh. I'm kind of annoyed- everyone seems to want a character to get into this story. If you want to toy around with your character, go join a roleplay! Jeez! (Alright, done now...)

    Rest assured, you will not be ignored- but remember, asking an author to change the name of someone or something a few chapters into the story makes it pretty hard on them.

    Oh, and as for slapping Maddie- here, I have a present for you. The exploding variety. Oh, and Char has something to say about your Pidgeotto...

    Char: Mmm... delicious.

    ACC: *sweatdrop* I didn't want you to eat it!

    Char: Oh, the bird? I was talking about this pizza. But the bird just got KOed by my godly powered-up Rock Slide.

    ACC: *relieved* Good... that was odd. Now, Maddie, work harder on the next chapter! Meanwhile, I'm going to stay at home and stare at pictures of Latias.

    Char: *Sweatdrop* I should never have gotten him started...

    Yo, bone boy, I was just trying to help her out. You don't need to get so angry at me without any reason. I don't want to criticize her, I'm just trying to help her out. All I said was that the island names need to make a bit more sense and sound better, which should be a nice touch to her fanfic. Although I may be a foolish human, you may be an even more foolish one too! :laugh:

    And it's okay if my character doesn't make it inside the fanfiction, I'll just use her for some other fanfic or roleplay then. Come on, cool down, boy, don't rage at me like a Gyarados!

    And mind you keep Char away from my Pidgeotto, too! Or I'll have my Zapdos from Yellow Version fry it with a Thundershock! Hee hee! :laugh:
     

    Rena Ryuugu

    はぅ〜
    1,402
    Posts
    17
    Years
  • Whoa, Maddy! You been stalking me or something? Cause I swear, I act the exact same way in real life. I say "Hihi" like all the time and run in circles a lot (Heh). It's kind of scary. You know me all to well. *glomp* 8D

    You should post the chapters on GameGab so the members there can read it. I'm sure they'd enjoy it too~

    And last but not least: EXCELLENT CHAPPIE~<3

    (I gots me some cute Pokemon there, don't I? ^ ^)
     

    Scarlet Weather

    The Game is Afoot!
    1,823
    Posts
    17
    Years
  • Yo, bone boy, I was just trying to help her out. You don't need to get so angry at me without any reason. I don't want to criticize her, I'm just trying to help her out. All I said was that the island names need to make a bit more sense and sound better, which should be a nice touch to her fanfic. Although I may be a foolish human, you may be an even more foolish one too!

    And it's okay if my character doesn't make it inside the fanfiction, I'll just use her for some other fanfic or roleplay then. Come on, cool down, boy, don't rage at me like a Gyarados!

    And mind you keep Char away from my Pidgeotto, too! Or I'll have my Zapdos from Yellow Version fry it with a Thundershock! Hee hee!

    1. Not raging, just telling you to keep your opinions on the island names to yourself. You wanna help? Do something that improves the writing, not the names. Names aren't as important in this story as some others, after all.

    2. ACC, not bone boy. Watch it.

    3. I'm insane, so I'm not a fool. I'm a nutcase. After all, every great genius was a little insane...

    4. Your Zapdos would be out cold before coming anywhere near Char. Agility BP from Eve, then murderous Rock Slide from Char, punker. You lose.
     
    5,114
    Posts
    17
    Years
    • Age 31
    • AU
    • Seen Feb 18, 2023
    I decided to do this the easy way :). Just hit quote, edit out the quote tags and copy and paste the chapter listing into your first post :). I will edit it out of mine after you do.
    After looking over you whole fic though I have to agree with Art, running your fic like a mini RPG with other peoples characters is not a good idea. Making up all of them on your own gives you more freedom and depth, as writing someone elses characters often makes it sound like they are just cardbroad cut outs running around, a collection of details and not a 'real' character.

    Yeah, I've pretty much stopped now, XD And thanks for the chapter things! I appreciate it XD

    Yo, bone boy, I was just trying to help her out. You don't need to get so angry at me without any reason. I don't want to criticize her, I'm just trying to help her out. All I said was that the island names need to make a bit more sense and sound better, which should be a nice touch to her fanfic. Although I may be a foolish human, you may be an even more foolish one too! :laugh:

    And it's okay if my character doesn't make it inside the fanfiction, I'll just use her for some other fanfic or roleplay then. Come on, cool down, boy, don't rage at me like a Gyarados!

    And mind you keep Char away from my Pidgeotto, too! Or I'll have my Zapdos from Yellow Version fry it with a Thundershock! Hee hee! :laugh:

    Mehe, it's still gunna get pwned, by my Articuno! Go! Arctic! MUAHAHA! Plus, you need a real life imaginary pokemoN! not game one, phh!

    Whoa, Maddy! You been stalking me or something? Cause I swear, I act the exact same way in real life. I say "Hihi" like all the time and run in circles a lot (Heh). It's kind of scary. You know me all to well. *glomp* 8D

    You should post the chapters on GameGab so the members there can read it. I'm sure they'd enjoy it too~

    And last but not least: EXCELLENT CHAPPIE~<3

    (I gots me some cute Pokemon there, don't I? ^ ^)

    I just logged in the usual hypo girl XD Yes, Kuranakushi is cute XD
    And thanks for the "Excellent Chappie"
    Is that because you were in it?
    And careful of the triple post

    1. Not raging, just telling you to keep your opinions on the island names to yourself. You wanna help? Do something that improves the writing, not the names. Names aren't as important in this story as some others, after all.

    2. ACC, not bone boy. Watch it.

    3. I'm insane, so I'm not a fool. I'm a nutcase. After all, every great genius was a little insane...

    4. Your Zapdos would be out cold before coming anywhere near Char. Agility BP from Eve, then murderous Rock Slide from Char, punker. You lose.

    PWN THE DRAGONITE MAN!
    Me: Yeah Eve, you can eat his costume
    Eve: Oh, Boy! I wonder what it tastes like?
    Me: Probably chicken... Or roast Beef and Baked Potato!
    Eve: *Licks lips* I wonder what HE tastes like 8D
     

    Scarlet Weather

    The Game is Afoot!
    1,823
    Posts
    17
    Years
  • PWN THE DRAGONITE MAN!
    Me: Yeah Eve, you can eat his costume
    Eve: Oh, Boy! I wonder what it tastes like?
    Me: Probably chicken... Or roast Beef and Baked Potato!
    Eve: *Licks lips* I wonder what HE tastes like 8D

    Now, now Eve- cannibalizing human beings is looked down upon in most cultures!
     

    Rena Ryuugu

    はぅ〜
    1,402
    Posts
    17
    Years
  • No, I like all your chappies. They're all well written. *kills grammar police... and two of the three posts* Meh.

    Hope to see more out of you, missy! 8D
     
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