System!
HM....................... .....
- 320
- Posts
- 15
- Years
- in your kitchen, eating your chips
- Seen Oct 16, 2012
How would you imagine a murder mystery that the Pokespe group has to solve? Who is the detective? The murderer? the Murdered?
-throws back head and laughs evilly- Ahem, let's get started. >: D Kekeke…
WHAT WAS ONCE SUPPOSED TO BE A PARAGRAPH-LONG SCENARIO TURNED INTO A PARODY OF SLASHER FLICKS AND A THINLY VEILED RANT AGAINST FANFIC CLICHES AND TEENAGE STUPIDITY IN SLASHER FLICKS AS WELL. NOBODY IS SAFE FROM A HYPERACTIVE SYSTEM.
This is basically a very rough draft of a fanfic. Yes, it's a parody. I won't blame you if you don't find it funny, though. I guess this is what happens when you're high on sugar and you decide you're the funniest chick in the world.
No, I do not write like this. When I write my fanfics, the characters are actually in character.
First off, the PokeSpe kiddies are having a nice, friendly party in Pallet Town. You know, BBQ, sugary drinks, all the works of your average party (Gold and 'Rald can be seen in the background sneaking some not particularly legal substances).
Suddenly Yellow has forgotten something at home. She runs back to get it, strangely not letting anyone escort her home (she even rejects Red's favor, whilst blushing furiously). As she's going home, the sky is getting dark and stormy. The kids then carry on their party inside…let's say Red's living room. They're having fun, snacking on Tauros burgers and telling each other stories of their various journeys. They are also discussing about some internet fan club that has caught their interest. Some are charmed that they're being talked about, some others are rather disturbed that they have stalkers. System realizes that she's getting on some forumgoers' bad sides, so she braces herself for random assaults.
Suddenly there's a blackout.
Some of the girls (and guys, though they won't admit it) scream, with Ruby leading the scream fest. System is suddenly shot by Ruby fangirls. System recovers from the attack, and continues her story. Just before Red tries to figure out what's happening among the chaos, the lights blink back on.
On the floor, with a wire wrapped around her neck, is a blue-faced Blue. System ducks from a sniper bullet. Clearly, the flirtatious woman of the group was the first to die. System hasn't watched enough slasher movies to confirm which type of person dies first, so sue her. No, don't.
Obviously, since a close friend has died, the younger 'dex holders can only watch in morose as Red and Green break down. Red has what one can call a BSOD (don't know what it is? Haven't cha heard of TV Tropes?) and since Green hooked up with Blue sometime before this ridiculous story, collapses on his knees and screams in a very narmy way, since Green doesn't really act like that, thus making him out of character. System finds that there's some certain angry Green fans standing on her doorstep. Gee, is System in such a good mood today.
Of course, cheesy sad music plays in the background, and when that is finished, Green immediately forgets who he was crying for and continues on with life. System sees a bunch of peeved-off Oldrivalshippers in the horizon. System should be taking the message that she should stop ruining characters and couples, but for some reason it doesn't go into the space where her brain should be. System decides she should try to mock herself to make up for the insults. One of her favorite characters is an old guy nobody likes. Ha. Ha. Ha.
Stuffing Blue's blue body into the closet that conveniently placed itself inside Red's living room, the eleven 'dex holders (remember, Yellow is at home…presumably) try to piece things together. Just who would want to murder them? The kids decide that it could range from Giovanni (even though he's a changed man, he must obviously be evil. No, seriously, I see this in fics. Giovanni is written evil. After FRLG. Wat.) to Agatha (who was eloping with Prof. Oak at this point) to Koga (who was only mentioned here because System said so. Made no sense whatsoever. Then again, does this murder scenario make any sense either?) to the obviously-not-in-this-world anymore Archie and Maxie to the month-old ham sandwich Gold would regret eating.
The kids split off into groups of two (the lone one being Silver. He wanted to watch Blue's body. Don't ask. Just…don't.) and try to search for clues. Because acting like the Scooby gang would obviously get things done. Ruh roh.
Gold and Crys decide to look for clues in Red's kitchen. While Crys is sensible enough to grab a butcher knife from the knife drawer, Gold makes himself at home by opening his elder's refrigerator. He spies a month-old ham sandwich.
"Welp, can't let food go to waste," Gold says as he shoves the moldy sandwich into his mouth. Those would be his last words. As Crys in contemplating which knife should she take, as she noticed the butcher knife was stained with blood, she didn't notice her presumed boyfriend was twitching on the floor, grabbing his throat and croaking in agony. As Crys finally decides that she liked the blood-coated butcher knife, she leaves the kitchen, not noting Gold's dead body.
Oh, dear, clover doesn't look too happy…
A few evolutions and a second later, Crys realized just what happened.
"Oh…OH GOD, WHY!" Crys screams as she runs around the house flailing her butcher knife. "WHY, GOLD! WHY DID YOU HAVE TO EAT THAT ACCURSED SANDWICH!"
Approximately three of the groups were outside, so Red and Green (and Silver and Blue. Don't. Ask.) were the only ones in the house. So, when you're alone in the house and there's murderer out in the loose, you generally assume the worst. So, when you see a crazed woman running around with a butcher knife…
"Scyther! Slash!" Confused readers are wondering why Green has a Scyther rather than a Scizor when the "scenario" takes place late into the manga storyline.
….
Well, System, aren't you going to answer that question?
…
Come on, don't be shy. Tell us.
...
You didn't answer the question, System.
Screw you, bolded text.
No, screw you.
TL;DR: System needs a life. Worse thing is, the story's incomplete. Though I'm pretty sure you can figure out who the killer is...
I'm definitely revising the story, though. I actually had fun writing this...piece...of...
In other news, I like DiaBerlitz, too. I wish there was equal interaction between the three, though.
@Sunnybeam: I only recognize the Clue reference. :<
-throws back head and laughs evilly- Ahem, let's get started. >: D Kekeke…
WHAT WAS ONCE SUPPOSED TO BE A PARAGRAPH-LONG SCENARIO TURNED INTO A PARODY OF SLASHER FLICKS AND A THINLY VEILED RANT AGAINST FANFIC CLICHES AND TEENAGE STUPIDITY IN SLASHER FLICKS AS WELL. NOBODY IS SAFE FROM A HYPERACTIVE SYSTEM.
This is basically a very rough draft of a fanfic. Yes, it's a parody. I won't blame you if you don't find it funny, though. I guess this is what happens when you're high on sugar and you decide you're the funniest chick in the world.
No, I do not write like this. When I write my fanfics, the characters are actually in character.
First off, the PokeSpe kiddies are having a nice, friendly party in Pallet Town. You know, BBQ, sugary drinks, all the works of your average party (Gold and 'Rald can be seen in the background sneaking some not particularly legal substances).
Suddenly Yellow has forgotten something at home. She runs back to get it, strangely not letting anyone escort her home (she even rejects Red's favor, whilst blushing furiously). As she's going home, the sky is getting dark and stormy. The kids then carry on their party inside…let's say Red's living room. They're having fun, snacking on Tauros burgers and telling each other stories of their various journeys. They are also discussing about some internet fan club that has caught their interest. Some are charmed that they're being talked about, some others are rather disturbed that they have stalkers. System realizes that she's getting on some forumgoers' bad sides, so she braces herself for random assaults.
Suddenly there's a blackout.
Some of the girls (and guys, though they won't admit it) scream, with Ruby leading the scream fest. System is suddenly shot by Ruby fangirls. System recovers from the attack, and continues her story. Just before Red tries to figure out what's happening among the chaos, the lights blink back on.
On the floor, with a wire wrapped around her neck, is a blue-faced Blue. System ducks from a sniper bullet. Clearly, the flirtatious woman of the group was the first to die. System hasn't watched enough slasher movies to confirm which type of person dies first, so sue her. No, don't.
Obviously, since a close friend has died, the younger 'dex holders can only watch in morose as Red and Green break down. Red has what one can call a BSOD (don't know what it is? Haven't cha heard of TV Tropes?) and since Green hooked up with Blue sometime before this ridiculous story, collapses on his knees and screams in a very narmy way, since Green doesn't really act like that, thus making him out of character. System finds that there's some certain angry Green fans standing on her doorstep. Gee, is System in such a good mood today.
Of course, cheesy sad music plays in the background, and when that is finished, Green immediately forgets who he was crying for and continues on with life. System sees a bunch of peeved-off Oldrivalshippers in the horizon. System should be taking the message that she should stop ruining characters and couples, but for some reason it doesn't go into the space where her brain should be. System decides she should try to mock herself to make up for the insults. One of her favorite characters is an old guy nobody likes. Ha. Ha. Ha.
Stuffing Blue's blue body into the closet that conveniently placed itself inside Red's living room, the eleven 'dex holders (remember, Yellow is at home…presumably) try to piece things together. Just who would want to murder them? The kids decide that it could range from Giovanni (even though he's a changed man, he must obviously be evil. No, seriously, I see this in fics. Giovanni is written evil. After FRLG. Wat.) to Agatha (who was eloping with Prof. Oak at this point) to Koga (who was only mentioned here because System said so. Made no sense whatsoever. Then again, does this murder scenario make any sense either?) to the obviously-not-in-this-world anymore Archie and Maxie to the month-old ham sandwich Gold would regret eating.
The kids split off into groups of two (the lone one being Silver. He wanted to watch Blue's body. Don't ask. Just…don't.) and try to search for clues. Because acting like the Scooby gang would obviously get things done. Ruh roh.
Gold and Crys decide to look for clues in Red's kitchen. While Crys is sensible enough to grab a butcher knife from the knife drawer, Gold makes himself at home by opening his elder's refrigerator. He spies a month-old ham sandwich.
"Welp, can't let food go to waste," Gold says as he shoves the moldy sandwich into his mouth. Those would be his last words. As Crys in contemplating which knife should she take, as she noticed the butcher knife was stained with blood, she didn't notice her presumed boyfriend was twitching on the floor, grabbing his throat and croaking in agony. As Crys finally decides that she liked the blood-coated butcher knife, she leaves the kitchen, not noting Gold's dead body.
Oh, dear, clover doesn't look too happy…
A few evolutions and a second later, Crys realized just what happened.
"Oh…OH GOD, WHY!" Crys screams as she runs around the house flailing her butcher knife. "WHY, GOLD! WHY DID YOU HAVE TO EAT THAT ACCURSED SANDWICH!"
Approximately three of the groups were outside, so Red and Green (and Silver and Blue. Don't. Ask.) were the only ones in the house. So, when you're alone in the house and there's murderer out in the loose, you generally assume the worst. So, when you see a crazed woman running around with a butcher knife…
"Scyther! Slash!" Confused readers are wondering why Green has a Scyther rather than a Scizor when the "scenario" takes place late into the manga storyline.
….
Well, System, aren't you going to answer that question?
…
Come on, don't be shy. Tell us.
...
You didn't answer the question, System.
Screw you, bolded text.
No, screw you.
TL;DR: System needs a life. Worse thing is, the story's incomplete. Though I'm pretty sure you can figure out who the killer is...
I'm definitely revising the story, though. I actually had fun writing this...piece...of...
In other news, I like DiaBerlitz, too. I wish there was equal interaction between the three, though.
@Sunnybeam: I only recognize the Clue reference. :<
