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[Pokémon] (Pokemon X/Y Fic) The Misadventures of Mimi Hideyoshi

  • 6
    Posts
    10
    Years
    • Seen Feb 26, 2014
    Chapter 1

    There`s not much to be said about me. I`m not too spectacular, really….Just a normal girl, in a normal house, with a pretty much normal life. I guess I should put some names to those things, huh? I`m Mimi Hideyoshi, and I live in the Kalos Region. A small house near the Pokemon Center on North Boulevard, to be exact. I`m only 17, but I graduated from high school when I was only 15, due to my fantastic test scores and other things like that. I`ve been studying to become a Pokemon trainer for a few years now, and today is the day I go to the Sycamore lab to get my starter Pokemon. Nothing too exciting. If you're not bored with me by now, feel free to keep reading.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    It was a beautiful Saturday morning, the sun shining brightly, airborne Pokemon chirping away outside the window. Yes, the perfect day to finally leave the house. Oh, yeah, did I forget to mention that? I`m a shut-in. It`s been two years since I last left the house, and I`m not even exaggerating. But, today, my friends convinced me to leave. They promised they`d go with me to the Pokemon lab, and even get their own starters so that they could train with me. God, I hate my friends sometimes.
    "MI….MI….MI…..MI" The rhythmic chanting of the devils I`d spoken of rang out from behind the door, almost magnetically drawing a sigh from my lungs. I set my book down, and went to undo all six latches that kept them from dragging me into the light.
    I groaned quietly, a hitch in my breath making it sound more like a whimper as I blinked against the sunlight, and the sheer brightness of my friends` personalities. "H-hey, guys…."
    "SAC-RI-FICE! SAC-RI-FICE!" Madi said, not breaking rhythm for a second while Seka grabbed my arms and pulled me outside. I nearly screamed as I felt my skin touch the hot air, and my feet leave the soft carpet. Madi whooped excitedly, closing the door behind me before I could retreat.
    "W-wait, what are you talking about?! You can`t sacrifice me! Let me back in my house!!" I squealed, shaking my head as I broke free from Seka`s grasp, only to be lead down the porch stairs by Madi. "I wanna go home, I changed my mind!"
    "Mimi, you`ve been studying for three years to make sure you`d be a good trainer, you can`t give up now!!" Madi scoffed, taking my hand and dragging me away, Seka skipping along behind us. "Now, we`re going to see that French hottie Professor Sycamore, and we`re going to get some Pokemon!"
    "He`s like, seven years older than us! Y-you can`t say things like that!" I blushed deeply, puffing out my cheeks. He was hot. He really was. He was so gorgeous, it was insane. But with him at a law-breaking age of 24, there was nothing we could do about it.
    "Sure we can~ just cause we say it doesn`t mean we`re gonna go jump the guy!" Seka chirped, wiggling her eyebrows seductively. "I mean, WE won`t, but I can`t say the same for you, Mimi~ after all, you`re always swooning over him and whatnot." She giggled, nudging my shoulder.
    "Okay, I have defiantly changed my mind! Take me home, now!" I exclaimed, cheeks an unnatural shade of red. "I-if you`re just gonna pick on me, I don`t wanna do this!"
    "Ha ha, too late." Madi snickered, turning me so I was facing the glass doors of the lab. "Wow, you walk fast when you get defensive. At least we know how to keep you going, huh?" She said smugly, stepping on the pressure mat so the doors would open for us. "After you, mon amie~"
    I slouched over, trying to hide my blushing face as I inched my way into the building, glad to be back inside again. A bell sounded as I entered, making me jump. Combined with the racing heart that the voice calling from a far off hallway gave me, I nearly fell over.
    "Just a moment!!" The smooth, lighty-accented voice said, kicking my heart into overdrive, and shutting off my brain so that I was thinking with my body. Which, mind you, was not very reliable.
    I collapsed backwards, caught only inches from the ground by the troublemaker himself. I`d been standing there spacing out for so long I missed the greetings, the introductions, and several "Are you alright?"s. Except, with French bits. I missed all that. How dare I.
    "Are you alright to stand? I can bring a chair if you`d like." He said kindly, pulling me to my feet, hands hovering near my shoulders in case I fell again. Oh, god….This isn't what I signed up for…
    "U-uh-huh." I managed, giving a weak smile and straightening up my posture to prove that I was fine. "I-it`s been a while since I`ve left my house, you see, and the bell on your door scared me a little, is all." I chuckled nervously, glaring at Madi, who was about to object.
    "Ah, I see…well, my apologies then. I am Professor Augustine Sycamore, and your friends here tell me your name is Mimi Hideyoshi. Am I correct, mon amie?" He smiled, holding out his hand for a handshake, although I don`t think I could handle touching him again. I spent three years preparing, and for what? I`m still a nervous wreck.
    "Y-yep, that`s me. I-it`s so great to meet you, it really is." I sucked it up and shook his hand, nearly melting under the warmth of his skin. I`d never been so flustered around a guy before….
    "Ah, même de vous! I`m always excited to meet young new trainers excited about Pokemon. I assume you`re here for your starters and gear, hmm?" He said excitedly, rubbing his hands together before reaching up and scratching at his goatee.
    "Why, yes, we are." Seka said politely, nodding. She`d promised me that she would behave today, and so far, she was doing pretty well. Well, in front of the professor, anyhow. Out in public she was still a little brat set out to embarrass me.
    "Suivez-moi!" He enthused, gesturing for us to follow him. It took a harsh shove from Madi to get my legs moving, but after that, it was fairly easy to stay on my feet as we made our way out of the lobby, and into the real lab. On both sides of the hallway leading there were various rooms with large windows, behind which scientists played with, fed, and ran tests on various Pokemon, some I`d never even read about before! It was all so utterly amazing, it made me forget all about how embarrassed I was.
    We soon arrived in a large, simulated outdoor environment where several Pokemon were running freely, some playing with each other, others chewing on leaves or berries from bushes. The professor stopped, and called for three Pokemon.
    "Fennekin! Froakie! Chespin! Venir ici! There are three lovely ladies who wish to see you!" He cupped his hands around his mouth to make sure he`d be heard, the words "lovely ladies" making me shiver slightly. Before long, the three he`d called for emerged from the bushes, and stood before him, hopping up and down excitedly as he pet them, chuckling lightly.
    One looked like a fennec fox, but it was bright yellow, with flame red fur near it`s ears, and on the tip of its tail. It nuzzed the professor`s leg as it watched me, a smile on its little face.
    "Ohh!!!!!" I squealed, kneeling down and opening my arms, allowing it to run over and leap up on my lap, paws on my chest as it licked my face like a dog would, repeating its call happily. "I want this one!!"
    Sycamore chuckled, stuffing his hands in his pockets. "My, my, it seems Fennekin has chosen you as it`s trainer. So, if you`d really like her to be your partner, so be it." He smiled, pulling a Pokeball from his lab coat and handing it to me. "I know you`ll take great care of her, mon amie."
    I giggled like a dork, blushing deeply as I tucked the Pokeball away. "T-thank you, professor!"
    Madi hurried forward, nearly stepping on me as she bounced up and down at an almost inhuman speed. "Me next, me next!!" She insisted, tugging on Sycamore`s sleeve.
    "Alright, alright. Calm yourself, mon amie. If it`s alright with Seka, you may pick next." He said, turning to Seka, who was already playing with what appeared to be the water starter, due to the fact that it was both blue and resembled a frog. "Oh…well…I hope you didn`t want Froakie. It seems he chose Seka."
    "Noooo, I wanted that one!!" Madi pointed at Chespin, and it smiled brightly, wobbling over on its little feet to hug her leg. "Ohmygosh it's so cute!!!" She squealed, leaning over and scooping it up into her arms. "I`m gonna call you Mitsu!! Do you like that name?"
    Mitsu gave a squeak similar to one a guinea pig would make, rubbing its cheek against Madi`s.
    "Well, it seems you`ve chosen a perfect name. What about you, Mimi and Seka? Will you two give nicknames to your Pokemon?" Sycamore asked, looking to where we`d gathered to show off our Pokemon to each other.
    "Kasumi!" Seka exclaimed, stroking the frog-like Pokemon in her arms. "I`ve waited so long to have something to name that!"
    "A-and I think I`ll go with Akane. I`m not very creative….well, with names, that is…I hope that`s okay…" I said, looking to my Fennekin, who smiled and nodded. "O-oh, good…"
    "Wonderful." He said happily, giving Madi and Seka their Pokeballs. "Come with me, and we`ll get your gear, then you can be on your way." The last three words nearly broke my heart, but, hey, I had to leave eventually.
    "I-I don`t wanna go home…..I`ll get scared again, and never leave…..then poor Akane will be stuck inside with me, and she`ll never be happy, and….I`ll be a bad trainer…." I said quickly, tears forming in the corner of my eyes. "I have something to care about now…and I don`t wanna ever go back to the place my mind was in those two years…."
    "Mimi…." Madi said quietly, smile dropping into a deep frown. Mitsu reached up and stroked her face, trying to comfort her.
    "I see….." Sycamore said, stroking his goatee as he thought. After a few moments, he snapped his fingers. "I`ve got it. Come with me, all of you, I have an idea." He smiled, leading us out of the nature room.
    We walked quietly for about three minutes, back out into the lobby and down another hallway, and soon into a room full of various technology I`d never seen before. "Ah, here we are."
    "What is all this?" Seka asked in awe, gritting her teeth as she tried to resist touching everything. "I wanna play with it…."
    "My apologies, mon amie, but this is what keeps the building running. Mess with it, and this place will shut down. But, I will give you something you can play with." He said smugly, heading over to a control panel, and unplugging three devices and bringing them back to us. "Here, you go."
    I took mine, examining it from all angles. It was basically a red square with a split in the middle that revealed some clear blue glass, and a pokeball design in the middle. I pulled on the two sides daringly, surprised when they spread, revealing more of the glass. "Whoa!!" I exhaled, gazing at Akane through the glass as information about her Pokemon type came up on the glass, as if it were a screen.
    "That, mon amie, is called a Pokedex. It`s a digital collection of the Pokemon you see and catch. It`s also the device that will solve your problem." He explained, crossing his arms and giving a knowing smirk.
    "Huh? How?" I asked, looking at Madi and Seka`s Pokemon through it, smiling when their info came up. It was so cool!
    "Mon amie, I`d like you and your friends to travel the Kalos Region, and maybe even beyond, to complete the Pokedex for me!" He clapped his hands together, measuring our shocked reactions contently.
    "W-what?! W-we can`t do that!" Seka exclaimed, shaking her head. "W-we can`t just leave!! I-I mean, I have a house! And a dog!"
    "What would my parents think?!" Madi scoffed. "I got a Pokemon cause I wanted to train locally. I can`t just drop everything and go on an adventure!"
    "…I think….I think that`s a great idea!"
    Three heads swiveled to look at me, Madi and Seka letting out a horrified "WHAT" while the professor chuckled excitedly, clapping.
    "Yes, yes, this is wonderful!" He laughed, kissing my hand. "Would you really do that for me?"
    "Of course. I need to get away from it all, anyway…plus, it`ll keep me moving, so I can be a good trainer for Akane." I said, trying to keep my cool as my heart began to race again.
    "Mimi…..you don`t have to do this…there are other ways! We could burn down your house, so you have nowhere to hide in!" Seka said, putting her hand on my shoulder.
    "I…I dunno….it…actually sounds kinda….fun…" Madi pondered it, shrugging slowly as she whacked Seka upside the head. "I mean….we`d get to travel! We can finally go all the places we always say we`re gonna go!"
    "….I guess I can leave frothy with Madi`s parents…." Seka said, scratching Froakie`s back. "So, yeah, I`m game!"
    "We`ll do it, Professor!" I smiled brightly.
    "Oh, merci, mon ami, merci! I would have done it myself, but then I`d have to leave the lab, and I just can't do that." He said thankfully, kissing my hand once more, earning a wave of whoops from Madi and Seka.
    "Mimi, you`ve only been outside for half an hour, and you already have a boyfriend~ what`s your secret?" Madi snickered, wiggling her eyebrows while Mitsu squeaked teasingly.
    "A-alright, it`s time to go! Thank you, professor!" I said, taking my hand from him and dragging them away.
    "Bye, professor~!" They sang, making kissy faces at him while their Pokemon did the same.
    "Voir Vous Autour …" He smiled awkwardly, a slight blush on his face. He sighed once the doors were closed. "C `est un air de défi pas le pokemon Je m'inquiète pour….."
    "SO, Mimi, I think he likes you." Madi said, feeding Mitsu a small square of her chocolate bar. "I mean, he kissed your hand, but did you see him get anywhere near our hands?"
    "I agree~!" Seka chimed in, a big grin on her face, and a matching one on Kasumi`s. They were two of a kind; that was for sure.
    "S-shut up!! You guys are idiots!! A-and what was that stuff about burning down my house?!" I scoffed, glaring at Seka, whose smile turned innocent.
    "It was just a joke. Sheesh. If I burned your house down, I wouldn`t have anywhere to eat!" She giggled, Madi nodding in agreement.
    "And I`d have no place to get away from my brother." My dumb brunette friend added, passing squares of chocolate to me and Seka. "But I won`t have to worry about that anymore, cause I`ll be far, far away from him for a long, long time!" She said blissfully, eyes sparkling with tears of joy.
    "Madi, do you really think your parents will agree to this? They`re kinda……what`s the word? They`re…um...stiffs. They keep you guys on a really short leash, one that defiantly doesn`t stretch across the entire Kalos region." Seka raised an eyebrow, pushing the candy around in her mouth as she tried to speak and eat at the same time, nearly drooling onto Kasumi`s head.
    "Oh, man, you`re right!" Madi frowned deeply, shoulders drooping. "They`ll never let me go!!! What was I thinking?! You guys are lucky, your parents are either dead or just don`t care!" She pouted, looking away from us as if it were our fault for our parents' shortcomings.
    "I`m lucky because my parents are dead?" I asked flatly, disbelief written all over my face. I shook my head, deciding to change the subject before I said something that would start an argument. "Whatever….anyway, I`m sure the professor will take care of it. Telling your parents, that is."
    "You`re probably right. Who would ask three underage kids to go off on an adventure without the intent to inform their parents?" Seka agreed, giving Madi a reassuring smile.
    "Exactly. I know I`d want to know if my kids set off to do something like this, and I`d certainly want to meet the one who instigated it." I nodded, shrugging my shoulders as I stepped back up onto my porch.
    "You wouldn`t need any of that, cause your kids WOULD be the professor`s!" Madi cackled, exchanging a very complicated high-five with Seka; one that looked like some inside handshake thing I wasn`t involved in.
    "OKAY, BYE. GO HOME NOW." I exclaimed, shooing them with both arms, causing Akane to scurry up onto my shoulder. "Meet me here tomorrow with your stuff. No earlier than ten…..okay, eleven."
    "Bye-bye mrs.Sycamore~!" They said in unison, skipping away while Seka hummed to the tune of the wedding march.
    "………." I scowled deeply, walking backwards into my house and slamming the door. "Those two are such dorks…..not sure I can handle traveling the world with them….we could go on our own, Akane. We could do it." I said, turning my head and getting a face full of fur as she rubbed her cheek against mine.
    The rest of the night went by in a blur of eating, showering, and sleeping huddled up with my new pokemon; who actually proved to be quite warm, and cozy to sleep next to.

    I woke up the next morning, and repeated the same routine I did last night, except the sleeping was replaced with painstaking packing. I had next to no idea what to bring with me. After all, it`s not every day that a handsome man asks you to travel the world.
    Akane ran around the house rather noisily as I stuffed clothes into a backpack. I imagined we`d be stopping every now and then to do laundry, so I shouldn`t need TOO too much. Along with that, I added soap, shampoo, and….well….uh….feminine products.
    "Alright….that`s about a weeks' worth of stuff….we can get more if we need it." I said to nobody in particular, flinching as a loud crash assaulted my ears. I turned to find Akane had knocked down my hand-sculpted statue of an Eevee, and now sat in the broken rubble, whimpering quietly.
    "Oh, no, no, no!!" I said sadly, rushing over and lifting Akane from the wreckage. I surveyed the destroyed statue, trying my best not to cry. But she could tell I looked upset, because Akane was looking at me with puppy-dog eyes, her ears folded down.
    I frowned, looking at the sad Pokemon. "No, please don`t cry….i-it`s alright! I can make another one. I made that one a long time ago, anyway, it wasn`t very good…."I chuckled, putting on a fake smile to convince Akane that she wasn`t in trouble.
    She hesitated before smiling back at me, barking and licking my cheek. I chuckled, setting her down and proceeding to clean up the shards of the statue.
    As I took the trash bag downstairs to the kitchen, the doorbell went off right as the clock struck 11. For once in their lives, Madi and Seka were on time for something! I threw out the bag, and slung my backpack on my shoulder, hurrying to answer the door.
    "Hey-O!" Seka grinned, shaking a backpack in my face as her Froakie waved at Akane. She took note of my own bag, smiling. "You all ready to go? The Professor sent letters to our parents this morning, so we`re all clear!"
    "Really? Madi, your parents are alright with this?" I looked to the other girl, who nodded excitedly, hugging her pokemon tightly.
    "Yes, yes! Ka-san and Do-san were completely willing to get rid of me!" She enthused, doing a little spin. "So, I wrote a song for you guys. It goes; LET`S GO ALREADY!" She exclaimed, grabbing my hand and pulling me out of my house for what may be the last time for many, many months.
    "Whoa, whoa, whoa! Wait a minute, hold on!" I chuckled, shaking my hand free and turning back to the door, pulling it shut and locking it. I let out a deep sigh, nodding and looking back to my companions. "Let`s get going!"
    "Yeah!" Seka cheered, skipping around in a circle. "Ready or not Kalos, here we come!"
     

    GastlyGibus

    I'm battin' a thousand!
  • 174
    Posts
    10
    Years
    Not a bad start. You've got some really interesting characters here, and I'm interested to learn more about them. I also like it when a story is written with the main character as the narrator. It makes it feel like I'm in the character's head, and it just feels more natural, I guess.

    Now, first things first, it would really help if you broke the story up into paragraphs. It's incredibly easy to lose track of where you are when all the lines and squeezed together like this. It's a simple formatting issue, but it makes it easier to read and follow along.


    "MI….MI….MI…..MI" The rhythmic chanting of the devils I`d spoken of rang out from behind the door, almost magnetically drawing a sigh from my lungs. I set my book down, and went to undo all six latches that kept them from dragging me into the light.

    Minor issue here, but I'd replace the ellipses in the chanting with exclamation marks. Ellipses usually denote pauses in dialogue, or an omission of parts of text. Here, it makes it seem like they are pausing for a prolonged period in between each part of the chant.

    I do like the character building with the six latches on the door. That was amusing. =P


    "Mimi, you`ve been studying for three years to make sure you`d be a good trainer, you can`t give up now!!" Madi scoffed, taking my hand and dragging me away, Seka skipping along behind us. "Now, we`re going to see that French hottie Professor Sycamore, and we`re going to get some Pokemon!"

    Minor nitpicking here, again. Since France technically doesn't exist in the Pokemon world, it's seems really out of place to have them point out that he's French. Since Kalos is supposed to represent France, I'd just say "that Kalosian hottie" or something like that.

    "Okay, I have defiantly changed my mind! Take me home, now!" I exclaimed, cheeks an unnatural shade of red.

    I think you meant "definitely" here, unless she's showing defiance in changing her mind. xD

    "Ha ha, too late." Madi snickered, turning me so I was facing the glass doors of the lab. "Wow, you walk fast when you get defensive. At least we know how to keep you going, huh?" She said smugly, stepping on the pressure mat so the doors would open for us. "After you, mon amie~"

    Whoa, that was fast. Where do they live, exactly? A brief description of where her house is would help.

    "Suivez-moi!" He enthused, gesturing for us to follow him.

    Look at me, I'm turning into my friend now. Again, super nit-picky here, but the action of him enthusing following the dialogue makes it appear as if the action is producing the words. Like, if I type this:

    - "Get out of here!" he stomped, -

    It makes it seem like it's the stomping producing the words, and not the person. Here, it reads as if the simple acting of being enthusiastic is producing the words, instead of the actual professor himself, if that makes any sense at all. A better way to put it would be: "Suivez-moi!" Sycamore said enthusiastically."

    "W-what?! W-we can`t do that!" Seka exclaimed, shaking her head. "W-we can`t just leave!! I-I mean, I have a house! And a dog!"

    Are there dogs in this world? Or do you mean a dog-like Pokemon such as Lillipup or Growlithe? :P

    Akane ran around the house rather noisily as I stuffed clothes into a backpack. I imagined we`d be stopping every now and then to do laundry, so I shouldn`t need TOO too much. Along with that, I added soap, shampoo, and….well….uh….feminine products.

    I'm not really sure what the purpose is behind mentioning the "feminine products." It just seems unnecessarily awkward and extraneous. :/

    "Alright….that`s about a weeks' worth of stuff….we can get more if we need it." I said to nobody in particular, flinching as a loud crash assaulted my ears. I turned to find Akane had knocked down my hand-sculpted statue of an Eevee, and now sat in the broken rubble, whimpering quietly.
    "Oh, no, no, no!!" I said sadly, rushing over and lifting Akane from the wreckage. I surveyed the destroyed statue, trying my best not to cry. But she could tell I looked upset, because Akane was looking at me with puppy-dog eyes, her ears folded down.
    I frowned, looking at the sad Pokemon. "No, please don`t cry….i-it`s alright! I can make another one. I made that one a long time ago, anyway, it wasn`t very good…."I chuckled, putting on a fake smile to convince Akane that she wasn`t in trouble.

    Alright, just going to point this out. I love this right here. This is great characterization in my opinion, and really heartwarming. You did a great job with this little part right here. Maybe I'm just a sap for touchy-feely scenes like this, but I really liked it. :D

    Anyways, that's my take on it. I'm sorry if I seem really picky, but I'm just trying to help you. :P

    I like the characters, it just needs some fine-tuning I feel. It's a solid enough beginning, it just needs a little more. The biggest thing I feel is that it needs to be broken up into paragraphs. Makes reading it more enjoyable and relaxing, as a story of this genre should be.

    Anyways, I enjoyed it. It's sounds like it's going to be a fun little adventure, especially with such quirky characters. I'm eager to see how chapter two turns out. :D
     
  • 6
    Posts
    10
    Years
    • Seen Feb 26, 2014
    Thank you, your feedback will be very helpful with the next chapter! I literally used google translate for the french, so thats partially my fault for not looking more into it ^^" I`m glad you liked it though! It actually was in paragraphs when I was writing it in Word, but when I copy-pasted it, the indentations and spaces between each one vanished
     

    bobandbill

    one more time
  • 16,945
    Posts
    16
    Years
    Thank you, your feedback will be very helpful with the next chapter! I literally used google translate for the french, so thats partially my fault for not looking more into it ^^" I`m glad you liked it though! It actually was in paragraphs when I was writing it in Word, but when I copy-pasted it, the indentations and spaces between each one vanished
    Ah, that can happen at times. Sometimes it may be good to c+p it to a separate program first (like notepad). Note that indentations don't really work well on the forums so it's best to avoid trying to implement those here.

    Ideally, have the spacing between paragraphs like this post - line of spacing between each one. Also the preferred format for forums even if in books you don't have that.
     

    djgrim

    Grim
  • 18
    Posts
    10
    Years
    • Seen Oct 18, 2014
    Loving this story already. Your characters are flooding with personality and you're the kind of writer who isn't afraid to 'Go there'. I'm going be following this story along with others and I definitely look forward to more.
     
  • 6
    Posts
    10
    Years
    • Seen Feb 26, 2014
    Loving this story already. Your characters are flooding with personality and you're the kind of writer who isn't afraid to 'Go there'. I'm going be following this story along with others and I definitely look forward to more.

    Oh my gosh, thank you so much, it means a lot to me :D I`m so very very glad you like it, and I`ll try to update as soon as possible! However you do that on a thread like this...
     

    Kawaii Shoujo Duskull

    The Cutest Duskull
  • 276
    Posts
    10
    Years
    • Seen Sep 10, 2023
    Only problems I can find with your story so far are that you should probably space out the paragraphs to make it a bit easier to read(I think that's how to put it), and you should try to use ' rather than `, but your use of ` seems more like a personal habbit so its not exactly a big deal.(Dunno why but the use of it instead of ' kinda irks (did I spell It right?) me. lol Sometimes small things do that, but its not a big problem, like I said. ^^)


    Otherwise, I really like the story! I'll be looking forward to seeing more chapters at some point~ ^^ Great job. :)
     
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