[Previous PotM Winner][August] Would You Date a Trans Person?

[Sweets Witch]

I'm not really sure how effective ftm junk works (does it pump up? idk)

I just spit out my coffee imagining getting intimate with somebody only to have them pull a bicycle pump out from under the bed.

But anyway, I have mixed feelings. On the one hand I'm really not picky about who I date so long as they have feelings for me. On the other hand...It may sound heartless, but I wouldn't be up to providing the amount of emotional support that they may need. A lot of trans people have very difficult lives and I just plain don't do well when it comes to constantly giving emotional support. After a while I run out of supportive things to say or do and I feel useless because I'm out of ideas and yet the struggle continues.

I guess a crude way to put it is to say that the trans lifestyle often comes with a lot of emotional baggage and I'm one of those people who doesn't have the strength to help carry it.

 

[Crunch Punch]

Erm... no? I have nothing against transexuals, but to think their junk used to be...

Ju-just please, I'm stick with a simple no.

 

[Her]

To answer your question i would like to reply with a Big Fat No
Thats just gross

how is it that 13 year olds manage to be more ignorant on a pokemon forum than irl

 

[nimbo]

I wouldn't. It's not for me, and I think even if they looked like a male the only thing I would think of, is them being a girl. Especially if we were to become intimate.
I'm all for transgender people however. It's your life and your body and I think it's wonderful that people are brave enough to go through with something that huge to make themselves happy. Good for them!

 

[Songbird]

*snip*

There's nothing particularly offensive about your opinion—you recognize someone with a Y chromosome exclusively as male, so it's a matter of genetics to you when it comes to sexual relations, even if you're fine with someone pursuing happiness and self-comfort.

However, it's this mentality of being "led on" by a transwoman that compels transgender people to never reveal their birth sex. This, combined with the fear of looking like a homosexual for dating or having sex with "a man in a dress"—among other factors—has even brought hate crimes to the level of murder.

In reality, if you picked up a woman at a bar or got along with a nice young lady on the street, it'd be virtually impossible to have found out whether or not they used to be a man without a blood test or outright asking them, and you'd have a permanently broken face for asking every woman about their medical records or their birth sex.

Please note, "I just wanted to know if you were a man!" is not a good way to hit it off with anyone.

 

[Psycho Yuffie]

First of all, a man falling in love with a trans woman and having sex with her is not gay. It's a man and a woman. By the very definition: heterosexual. Likewise, a woman having sex with a trans woman is still very much homosexual. This idea that once you're born with a penis, you're a man for the rest of your life--even if you grow breasts, get a vagina, and look otherwise completely female--is silly. Sorry, but it is. It's also insensitive and flat-out transphobic. You think of the idea of you being attracted to a trans woman as an impossibility, but how do you know that you haven't already been attracted to a girl that was transgender? There's no way of knowing if that cute girl on the bus from last Tuesday was born with a vagina or not.

Again, sex chromosomes are NOT a valid indicator of sex. There are individuals who are born with a fully functioning female reproductive system who have XY sex chromosomes. It happens. Are these women not women because of their sex chromosomes? As long as they identify as female, then they are women.

 

[Entermaid]

In most cases...no. Not because of the fact the person was the other sex physically at one time, but because in many cases the person has several reminiscent qualities of that gender. Though, in some cases there really isn't any sort of indicator, and in these cases, I would consider it.

I just have to be physically attracted. Why turn down someone that you are currently attracted to, because they used to be someone that you would not be attracted to?

This transgender man is hot. He is essentially, just a man. And, physically-wise I would consider dating him:

Spoiler:

For those of you only attracted to women but not transgender women, would you consider dating this one? Or are you just not into super beautiful women?!?

Spoiler:

So, though not all transgender men or even most are attractive, some are! So, I answered "yes", if I was attracted.

 

[Psycho Yuffie]

Thank you Fenneking. I think there are a lot of people with misconceptions about what trans people actually look like. People have the idea of a man in a dress with five o'clock shadow and the tomboy stuck in their heads. That's not what most transgender people look like.

 

[Aquacorde]

Well sure, if we liked each other enough. And we were able to be together offline. I don't do well with LDR. No real reason not to if the situation's right though. I mean I don't do the sex thing with anyone really because I'm not fond of it, so they'd have to be understanding about that I guess. Being panromantic, I'm fairly indifferent as to gender things. If this trans* person who is a potential date is a lovely person then it's reasonable that I may fall in love with them. It's not a big deal to me if they were once the opposite gender. And if they need help and support in their transition, I'll try to give them that. *shrug* I've got a trans* friend and a genderfluid friend that I absolutely adore and would have really liked to date if they lived anywhere near me. Their gender identity is really not a big deciding factor for me.

 

[Sir Codin]

I'm with Fenneking on this one. If the transgender woman was attractive enough, I'd maybe date her. If not, then I probably won't be able to get over the fact that she used to be a man. Personality is all well and good, but I'm just not going to deny that looks do play a factor in attraction.

So, my answer depends on whether she looks like an attractive woman or like a man wearing drag. I've seen both.

 

[New Eden]

Hells yeah...then again I'm trans myself so it'd also seem hypocritical not to. But my mind looks right into their mind when it comes to attraction. Physical appearance is merely nothing but a bonus to me.

 

[Kura]

I would only consider serious dating, and for that reason, no. Before you jump on me and go all "KURA WTF. Trans can have serious relationships!" hear me out.. that's not the reason I'm saying no.

I'm attracted to masculinity so born-male-now-female wouldn't be attractive to me, and I value that physical attraction in a relationship as much as I value the mental because having a balance is nice. To be able to turn to your partner and say "you're the most attractive person in the world to me" is nice and I like to have that- and I don't know if I could say that to someone who puts emphasis on being female when I am not attracted to femininity. If it's the other way around then still no. I also feel like someday I may want the option to have my own children, and whilst I know I can adopt and I know there is no guarantee that I can even have kids with whoever I'm with, it is endearing to me to give birth (although a scary experience I imagine) and can't do that when dating a f to m. (I wouldn't have like 100k to dish out on in-vitro either) Children aside, I'm not sexually attracted to female genitalia and I want to have that sexual attraction in my relationship. Even with a sex change... I.. don't think the parts will work how they are naturally designed to. But anyways, I feel I am entitled to that, so that's why I say no.

Fun fact is that I used to like this dude about a decade ago (yeah an actual decade aren't I old?) I loved him a lot- and I mean a lot. He was someone who I trusted the most and with everything I had at one point of my life, but he led me on romantically for the longest time in such a horrible way ("Kura you're so important to me/ please wait for me to love you/ never change/ you're the most special to me" etc, to "It would make me happy if you were shot dead/ I never said I had feelings for you/ etc.") It took me about 7 years to get over him but when I found out he was originally female and it helped me realize that it wasn't what I wanted in a partner and it helped me move on. I could also then start seeing feminine features in him (like fingertips even) and it lead him to being unattractive to me. Perhaps you can say that that experience gave me a negative outlook on my own trans-dating-decisions.. but nah- I think it's just a sort of personal preference that rather stick to guys born as guys. Trans-dating is just not for me I guess.

Hopefully I explained myself well. Seems like every time someone says no and gives a reasoning in this thread, they are quoted and someone tries to find a contradiction in what they say.
Trans people, in my eyes, are also more complex when it comes to sexuality as they've had those hardships and discovery and metamorphosis which is really commendable. But I think about it and I wonder if maybe it is because I just want something a bit more straightforward instead of all the mixed emotions and experiences that may come with having a trans partner. Hmm.. I dunno. But it's just my gut feeling saying no, it's not my cup of tea is all.

 

[Entermaid]

I also feel like someday I may want the option to have my own children, and whilst I know I can adopt and I know there is no guarantee that I can even have kids with whoever I'm with, it is endearing to me to give birth (although a scary experience I imagine) and can't do that when dating a f to m. (I wouldn't have like 100k to dish out on in-vitro either).

This is a really good point. I sometimes forget about it since it doesn't really apply to myself :p
If I had the option to be with someone I found attractive and could have children with as opposed to someone who I was attracted to and could not have children with, I would go with the first option for sure - having shared biological children between the couple is a HUGE factor for anyone who has the option to.

 

[Kyrul]

Unfortunately, your definition isn't always true. Where do intersexed people fit in your world of extremes? What about people who are born with female genitalia from birth, but later find out they are genetically male--and vice versa? What about those who are born with extra sex chromosomes? If reality doesn't fit your definition, then only your definition can be wrong and not reality.

I apologize if my post has offended you, but I did give you fair warning. I do not feel the need to address those situations as my post wasn't about genetic mutations (only word I can think of for that, give me a break I'm not a scientist). I'm talking about those individuals who just chose to change their sex because they feel as though the grass is greener with the opposite gender.

 

[twistedpuppy]

I don't mind being in an emotionally invested relationship with a ftm; however, a physically intimate one could be a little awkward for me.

 

[Psycho Yuffie]

I apologize if my post has offended you, but I did give you fair warning. I do not feel the need to address those situations as my post wasn't about genetic mutations (only word I can think of for that, give me a break I'm not a scientist). I'm talking about those individuals who just chose to change their sex because they feel as though the grass is greener with the opposite gender.

I didn't transition to female because I thought that it was better to be a woman. I already was a woman and I wished for my body to express it.

 

[Songbird]

I'm talking about those individuals who just chose to change their sex because they feel as though the grass is greener with the opposite gender.

It's not a "the other half is the better half" kind of issue, not in the least, and it's just another misconception that lends to the groundless hatred of transpeople. It's an incongruence between someone's body and their internal gender—the way their brain is wired from birth, and the only effective treatment is correcting the body.

 

[Shiny Celebi]

I dont really completely understand what it is to be transgendered, so I don't know that I would date a transgendered person.

 

[Sydian]

I would be okay with it personally, as long as I am made aware of that beforehand and not after we start dating. I would probably wait till they have the genetalia I prefer before anything sexual happens, though I'm not interested in sex that much anyway so that's not a major problem.

 

[EGKangaroo]

Hell...I am not even sure. No matter what, I can get emotionally attached to any person who is really a nice person and has a rich content of character. So, on a romantic level, I can get attracted to anyone, male, female, or transgender, or whatever. Physical attraction depends, of course, on the masculinity of the partner. I mean, if an FTM transgender has transitioned and his body is already made as male as his gender is, that most people wouldn't even know he was born with different tools down there, then hell, I might even get physically attracted to them.

Either way, the issue hasn't played for me yet. If it would, the question would be uncomfortable to me, but I should not run away from it either. If the emotional bond was already there, then I should give it a chance.