Shadow Arcanines own Fancomic :D

[Shadow Arcanine]

Hello Pokecommunity :D
I'm Shadow Arcanine, maybe you know me as Spriter in Hacks and Games, such like Pokemon Flame of Rage or Pokemon Legend of Fenju.
For now i wanna show you a little funcomic i made, i hope you leave comments or leave critism :)

Story: Well, the story is quite easy: Celia always lived in the shadow of her elder sister: Cynthia the champ of Sinnoh. But now the day comes - her birthday- where she should recive her first pokemon!
Boring? Well, you have to see...

​

Thx for reading :)
​

 

[AmazingAggron]

Too many spelling mistakes and such, but still a good comic.

 

[Hybrid Trainer]

I like it, the layout is just a tad bit confusing though. but i like the style and the story isn't that bad, just try to slow it down a bit.

 

[Thyplozard]

Awesome, you rock and you are so creative

 

[Logiedan]

You could fix up some of the spelling mistakes. Like Jotho - Johto. Orgininell - Original.
There are not very many sprite errors but i swear that Turtwig overworld looks like a shiny Turtwig. Your comic's plot and storyline has nothing wrong with it, but I can say it lacks unoriginality since it's too alike to other comics and the actual games. ;-;
Overall your comic is great,you just need to fix up the grammar problems because it can be distracting to your readers.

 

[Shadow Arcanine]

Wow, finally i got answers :D *jumps in the air and enjoies the moment*

Too many spelling mistakes and such, but still a good comic.

yeah, i know, my english is just too bad, you know this comic is just a translation. the original is german and could be found on another forum. since i haven't english in school since 3 years my english is just messed up, so i have to apoligize for my mistakes.
But thx for your answer :)

I like it, the layout is just a tad bit confusing though. but i like the style and the story isn't that bad, just try to slow it down a bit.

yeah, it would be better if i put all pages in spoiler like i did in the german forum :/
thx for the critism :)

Awesome, you rock and you are so creative

Thanks! :D

You could fix up some of the spelling mistakes. Like Jotho - Johto. Orgininell - Original.
There are not very many sprite errors but i swear that Turtwig overworld looks like a shiny Turtwig. Your comic's plot and storyline has nothing wrong with it, but I can say it lacks unoriginality since it's too alike to other comics and the actual games. ;-;
Overall your comic is great,you just need to fix up the grammar problems because it can be distracting to your readers.

The Turtwig overworld isn't the shiny one, i know it looks like, but i swear it's the original :)
my plan wasn't to have a mainstream storyline like anime or games, i just want to work with sarcasm so i wanted to give the same feeling as it is in the games with my own altitude :)
anyway, thank you very much for your answer and i apoligize for my grammar .__.


Well, part 2 of the comic is just released in the german forum, my problem is: it takes much time to translate it all. so if someone likes to read part 2 (german version) could write a pm to me, i would send you the link :)

thx @ all

 

[Beechlgz]

You could fix up some of the spelling mistakes. Like Jotho - Johto. Orgininell - Original.
There are not very many sprite errors but i swear that Turtwig overworld looks like a shiny Turtwig. Your comic's plot and storyline has nothing wrong with it, but I can say it lacks unoriginality since it's too alike to other comics and the actual games. ;-;
Overall your comic is great,you just need to fix up the grammar problems because it can be distracting to your readers.

You mean it lacks originality. If it lacked unoriginality it would be completely original, you get what I'm saying?

Shadow Arcanine, I can appreciate that English is not your first language and that would make correct grammar and spelling much more difficult than for a fluent English speaker. However, there were a few places were I found what appeared to be typos and errors, perhaps not attributed to your lack of knowledge, but to lack of proof reading. Just a pointer for you read everything over, don't rush it. Remember that I needs to be capitalized. I found it capitalized in some places and in lower case in others. There were also a few places where you had forgotten to add words where it was apparent that you knew where they should have been by the sentence structure you used. For example:

"After we left our hometown, we decided to Sandgem Town, it was Cynthia who get her pokedex there and i was sure..."

"we decided to Sandgem Town" It looks like here you simply forgot to add the word "go" between decided and to, rather than not knowing it was meant to be there. Be sure to proof read.

"it was Cynthia who get her pokedex" Looks like a genuine misunderstanding rather than lack of proof reading. Just for future reference, we use the word "got" here rather than "get", since "got" is past tense, which you were aiming for I assume.

Also just remember to capitalize those "I"s.

Otherwise it's a very good comic. The sprites are okay where they have been edited, they could use a little touching up but generally okay for conveying the point across. Points and emotions are also conveyed nicely. The only criticism I can tell is that everyone seems to have a kind of sarcastic streak. Try to vary personality traits a little to define characters, not everyone is so sarcastic, and to be honest it brings a bit of a downer upon the reader because there's no respite from it.

 

[Ame]

Simple~ I likes~ Its good and creative. ^-^ I like the randomness of it.

 

[PureGoober]

I really like this comic.
Yeah, you might wanna change the layout a bit.
It's confusing.
Also, like mostly everyone has said, fix the spelling and grammar.

 

[Thyplozard]

When you will publish the part two in English?
I used a translator to see the german version but...
it don't work -idiot translator-