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Shane's masterquest

  • 29
    Posts
    15
    Years
    Author's note - This story is rated PG-13, even though the first chapters don't have any blood or violence there will be in the future.
    «-Chapter one-»

    It was still early, the sun had yet to rise. Shane was still lying in his bed, half asleep. Suddenly the door of his room slammed right open, it slightly bounced of the wooden wall.
    Shane slightly opened his eyes, though he knew who it was, to see the person in the door opening.

    "Wake up! It's the last day of harvest and we still have a lot to do," the person said

    "Ok… ok, geez dad do you always have to be this harsh," Shane said a bit cranky

    "Not when you get up in time son" The man said

    Shane sighed, "I'll be ready in ten minutes,"

    "Be sure to eat your breakfast," then the man walked away.

    Shane sat upright on his bed, still having trouble opening his eyes. His room was located at the Westside of the house, it had one window looking out over the fields. He looked out his window when he got out of bed. Quickly he changed into old clothes, which he always wore when harvesting. The outfit consisted of, a pair of jeans they were worn at the knee area, a pair of sturdy sandals and a simple old green shirt. After changing Shane raced to the living room and ate his breakfast.

    During breakfast his mind drifted to the pokemon battle from last night, both trainers seemed so enthusiastic and passionate when battling. At moments like that he go really jealous at the lives trainers must lead. Travelling from city to city, challenging other trainers along the way. Even though he wanted to be a trainer so badly he knew he couldn't be one, his dad would never let him be one. His dad needed him to much on the farm, to let him be a trainer.

    "Son are you still alive or are you daydreaming again?" a voice shouted from outside

    "I'm on my way dad," Shane hurried to the field to help his dad with the harvest.

    *****​

    It was until late in the afternoon that the two worked, harvesting all the fields. The sun was still warm and both were getting tired.

    "That was the last field" Shane said while breathing heavily

    "Yes that was the last field," Shane's dad took a small pause to breath in air. "And you better prepare for the evening, your mom is coming home and you need to look at your best."

    "Ok dad," Shane didn't gave his dad the chance to say it a second time and raced to their house. This was the last day that his son helped him.

    Shane's dad put the tools they used back in the barn before following his son to their house. He looked at his son running and a brief moment of sadness send a tear from his eye. Today was the last day that his son helped him on the farm, tomorrow he would leave to become a pokemon trainer. Shane's dad had kept it a surprise, tonight he would tell him the news. Today as his son's birthday and he had been arranging this with his wife for a few months now. It was difficult, Shane was now thirteen years old and already he had been a big help at the farm. With him gone it would mean that Shane's dad had to work harder and that it would be more quiet.

    Shane's dad walked inside the house and started to prepare diner. After thirty minutes he could hear a car driving up to their house. The front door opened, a women around forty years old walked inside.

    "Harry are you home?" she asked

    "Yes I'm home Sarah."

    "Where is Shane, I thought he would leave tomorrow?" she sounded a bit confused now

    "He is still busy getting ready for tonight, but he should be down anytime now." A smile appeared on Harry's face, "I'm glad you're here."

    "I'm glad to be home again," she smiled back and gave her husband a small kiss.

    "MOM!" Shane couldn't believe, his mom was home. "You're really here," Shane's mom got surprised by Shane as he ran down and hugged his mom.

    "You can talk during diner, go sit at the table." Harry said, a bit to harsh, while he put the diner on the table.

    Shane was really happy his mom was home, since a few years she had started travelling again. Because of that she was rarely home, he would only see her a couple of times a year. There was one big advantage of his mom travelling, she always brought souvenirs home. One time Shane got a necklace with a chunk of amber. Well actually it was just a string with a small chunk of amber, but he always wore it.

    All three enjoyed the diner Harry had prepared, and they talked about all kinds of stuff. But what Shane enjoyed hearing the most were the stories of his mom. After done with the diner and the dishes Shane sat down on a chair so he could watch the television, tonight there would be a match on. A trainer had challenged the Elite Four and already had defeated the first and now had to battle Bruno.

    "Shane why don't you turn the television off, we got a few surprises for you." Sarah sat at the table as her husband put on surprise on the table

    "Surprises, cool." Shane got curious and turned off the television.

    Shane's mother stood up with one arm behind her back, obviously holding something./

    "First off all congratulated with your birthday dear," Shane's mom said smiling. "And here is my present, I know how you've always wanted a growlithe." From behind her back she got a oval shaped present.
    Shane took the present from his mom's hand and opened it, he couldn't believe what he was holding in his hands.

    "That's a pokemon egg, I bought it from a breeder some time ago. It will hatch a growlithe, I know that you always wanted one." Her mom said cheerfully " But we don't have a holding container so you'll have to do without one, it won't be much of a problem though, as it will probably hatch soon."

    "Mom… that is just…" Shane stood up and hugged his mom. "Really thanks mom," the last words he almost cried out.

    "And that is not all," his dad took an envelope from the table "here this is also for you."

    Shane took the envelope from his dad. Before he opened it he looked at it, to see if he could find any hints about the contents of the envelope. Then he took a knife from the kitchen counter and used it to open the envelope. Carefully Shane slid the contents out of the envelope until he could see what it was.

    Shane's dad looked at his son while he opened the envelope, revealing a single card. As Shane read the card a look of disbelief appeared on his face. He just couldn't believe what card he was holding. The card was actually an invitation from professor Oak to become a pokemon trainer.

    "D… da… dad," Shane could no longer hold himself, tears of joy started rolling over his cheeks "That's just…" Shane ran to his dad to hug him "Thank you so much dad."

    "No problem kid," his dad hugged him too. "It's about time you got started," Harry looked down to his son and smiled.

    "Dear I think you should go to bed, you have to go early tomorrow." Shane's mom was glad to see her son all happy and cheery, she missed him much on her travels but now he would follow in her and her husband's footsteps.

    Shane listened and went upstairs to his room after saying goodnight to everyone. Though he didn't want to sleep he fell asleep pretty fast, working hard had made him tired.

    *****​

    Shane woke up expecting it to be the next morning, but when he looked at his alarm clock he noticed it was in the middle of the night.

    It is still just four o'clock in the morning, why did I wake up? Were his first thoughts

    He then noticed a twitching feeling and some cracking sounds. Quickly he pulled the sheets away and looked at the egg. It was twitching and there had appeared a few cracks on its surface. After a few seconds a dog-like pokemon crawled out of the egg. The pokemon was about 1'5" tall, it was mainly a red color except for some black stripes on its back and its white mane, tail and mohawk. The pokemon barked cheerfully at Shane.

    "Mom… dad!" Shane shouted, scaring the newly hatched growlithe which hid itself under the sheets.

    Within minutes Shane's parents entered the room, expecting anything.

    "What is it?" his dad asked still half asleep.

    "The egg, it just hatched" Shane said pulling the sheets slightly from the hiding pokemon.

    Shane's mom immediately let the dog-like pokemon sniff her hand, as she held it in front of it. Instead of sniffing the hand, the pokemon fled to Shane trying to hide itself. Shane gently petted it to comfort it.

    Shane's mom took a closer look at the growlith "From the looks I would say it's a female growlithe, the mane isn't as big as it should be"

    "Really?" Shane sounded astonished, he just couldn't imaging a female growlithe.

    "Yes, I'm sure. Anyways go back to sleep will discuss things further tomorrow." She smiled as she and her husband left the room to go back to sleep.

    "So you're a female?" Shane looked confused at the pokemon "Should I give you a nickname?" Shane still looked at the pokemon, which slightly tilted her head as if she was really listening.

    "I'll name you Athena, that sounds good, doesn't it" He said while looking at the growlith as she barked in agreement. "Athena it will be then, and now we need to go sleeping"

    Shane laid down on his bed let Athena lay next to him on the bed, then he pulled up the sheets and fell asleep together with his new friend.


    Author's note - Yes this is another OT fanfiction about some random trainer making a journey to become the best trainer, but hey every writer has to start somewhere. As you could understand now this is my first pokemon fanfic, and I rather screw up and learn from this one so I could make an outstanding plot with an outstanding quality.
     
    Last edited:

    Blue Screen of Death

    Wait, what?
  • 323
    Posts
    15
    Years
    Nice job! Your description is fairly good, it could use some touching up though. You did have a few spelling mistakes, but that can be fixed easily. By the way, yes you did do a classic OT fic, but you added your own style to it. Instead of the kid waking up and going to whatever professor was in his or her region you had the parents give him a pokemon. The egg did seem to hatch a little early, but I'm not going to complain about that. One other thing, is your trainer in Kanto? You never specified that, and some people would like to know details like that. I would give it a seven out of ten. I can't wait to see the next chapter!
     
  • 29
    Posts
    15
    Years
    I'll change a few things, I forgot about the egg explanation thing but I'll add it. Yes the trainer is in Kanto, I'll add a couple of things to tip ya guys off :P.

    I'll try to take the few spelling mistakes out, I have the habit to overlook those things in my own work (I always get annoyed if people have spelling mistakes though o.O)
     

    Gooberdued

    < Is friggin' awesome
  • 159
    Posts
    16
    Years
    You're missing commas everywhere.

    "Hello" said the boy.

    should be:

    "Hello," said the boy.

    Otherwise it was pretty decent. It is an OT fic, which many reviewers will frown at, so try to add something different instead of collecting gym badges, and this fic has potential! :)
     
  • 29
    Posts
    15
    Years
    A fic only about collecting badges would be boring and I'm using this story as an experiment so expect some random stuff in it :P.

    About the commas, like I said the poste before you I'll try to get as much mistakes out, though I can't garantuee that all will disappear
     
  • 29
    Posts
    15
    Years
    Sry for not replying for so long, but this weekend I'll try to get te revised first chapter and chapter two posted. ;)

    Those who already replied thanks for your criticism.
     

    Cookie-powa

    Cookie Trainer
  • 31
    Posts
    15
    Years
    Hey there,

    I like it. The storie is slightly different from what other people do, you've added your own touch to it which is good. There's a few missing commas and fullstops but all of these can be fixed like SupahFunk said.

    Keep going, looking forward to the next chapter. :)
     
  • 29
    Posts
    15
    Years
    Here is chapter two, enjoy :D. Chapter one has also been slightly revised.
    «-Chapter two-»

    The next morning when Shane walked downstairs, cheery and together with Athena. When they reached the table Shane noticed a couple of things, one - the kind of depressing atmosphere, two - a backpack packed and ready resting on the table, three - an old kind of rag thing laying on the table. He could understand that both parents were a bit down with their son leaving home and possibly not returning, but the other things he couldn't understand.

    "Are you ready dear?" Shane's mom asked it as cheerfully as she could but it still sounded plain at best.

    "I have to get breakfast, pack my bag and then I'm ready." Shane tried not to sound to cheerful, but he couldn't hide his happiness.

    Shane enthusiasm lightened the mood a bit. He then walked to the kitchen counter to prepare some sandwiches as breakfast and for until he reached Viridian City. He put some sandwiches in a plastic bag and the ones that were left he put on a plate. The plate was laid on the small table where his parent already sat down.

    "Do you want a sandwich too?" he politely asked his parents.

    Both nodded that didn't want one. Shane sat down and took one sandwich and started eating. Both parents were surprisingly silent, even for the event that was about to take place

    "Son, your mother and I both have some things for you that might be useful to get started" Shane's dad said to break the silence. "This bag is for you, it's packed with the essential stuff you need, pokemon food, potions and other pokemon medicals" He carefully slid the bag to his son.

    "And this headband is for you" Shane's mom presented the dark red headband, on it was a pokemon symbol in a black colour.

    "Thanks" Shane thankfully accepted the gifts

    He put the headband on his head and took a closer look at his new bag to inspect it. The bag was simple yet strong, it had three different pockets. Shane reckoned one was for the pokeballs, one for the pokemon medicine and one pocket for other stuff. The bag itself was a pure dark red colour. After the inspection Shane put all the things in it on the right place, he also put the plastic bag containing the sandwiches in the bag. Shane also found some money in a hidden compartment in the bag. In total there were five hundred pokedollars, enough for a start.

    "One last thing and then your ready to go" Shane's mom stood up and reach for one of her pockets

    "What is it mom?" Shane asked curiously

    "Well for your pokemon, you'll need a pokeball" by now she held a small ball in front of her son

    The pall had three parts, a red part, a white part, and a small button.
    "So, this is a pokeball" Shane took it from his mother hand "Ok girl. Time for you to become part of my team" He gently pushed the small button against the growlithe.

    The pokeball opened and a bright red light shot straight at the small growlithe. When the red light disappeared in the pokeball the pokemon was gone. The small button now blinked a bright red colour, at the same time the pokeball twitched a few times. After a few seconds the blinking and twitching stopped.

    "Come out Athena" Shane pressed the small button again.

    The pokeball again opened, but this time a bright whit light shot out the pokeball to the ground. Gradually the white light took the shape of a pokemon. When the light was gone, the growlith was left. She turned her head a couple of times to inspect the environment, when she spotter her trainer she barked cheerfully and wagged her tail.

    "I…" Shane took a deep breathe "I think it's time to go now"

    "Yes your right kid" Shane's dad placed on hand on his son's right shoulder "Good luck and take care of yourself, ok?"

    Shane nodded and then turned to his mom.

    "Mom it was really good to see you again" the last words were really hard to say "Goodbye, I'll keep in touch with you"

    "Goodbye my son" She couldn't keep her emotions down and started crying softly as she hugged her son.

    A few seconds later she let go of her son, so she could take a good look of him. Shane's work on the farm had kept him in good shape, he was pretty muscled for a thirteen year old. He stood 5'4" tall. His hair was a dark brown colour and spiky modelled. He wore a white shirt with a black blouse on top of it, the blouse open. His jeans were cut off under his knees, and lastly he wore some pretty sturdy sandals.

    This image of her son would always be in her memory, no matter how far away he would be.

    She thought about how grown up he had became during her absence the last months. One last time she hugged her son, then she gave him one last kiss on his right cheek.

    "Well this is it" Shane slowly walked out the door

    "Goodbye!" Both parents waved their son goodbye, holding on to each other

    "Goodbye!" Shane turned around and headed east towards Viridian City, followed by his growlithe.

    *****​

    It wasn't until early in the afternoon that the duo halted for a break.

    "Lets take a small break here," Shane sat down on a trunk and watched as growlith explored the, for her, new world.

    As Shane watched Athena he took out the sandwiches and the pokemon food. As the duo enjoyed their meal Shane took the time to take a look at the environment. They currently where in a small forest by the end of the day they would be through it, from there it would be a days walk to the city. Shane knew the way, as he always took this route with his dad when they would sell their harvest to their clients.

    After lunch Athena found a branch and showed it to her trainer, she wanted to play. Shane played with her for some time, through this playing Athena showed much of her personality. But the her personality really came up when another pokemon took the branch. She barked and grabbed the branch and tried to pull it out of the other pokemon's mouth. Shane saw the other pokemon but didn't recognised it. The pokemon was a lot bigger then Athena, but it also looked like a dog.

    The other pokemon though was mostly black coloured and had some white things on its back. On its head rested a skull, so Shane reckoned the white things on the pokemon back were some sort of bones. The pokemon's mouth was red and around its ankle it also had some sort of bones .

    "Max let go of that branch, it isn't yours." Shane could hear the somewhat deeper voice, but couldn't see a single person other then himself.

    As commanded the pokemon let go of the branch and decided to lie down.

    "That's a pretty brave pokemon you have there, even for a growlithe and especially for such a young one" Again that voice, the situation made him nervous.

    "I guess she's just pretty competitive," Shane replied a bit unsure

    "Maybe," This time Shane could hear some bushes hustling as a trainer appeared out of them.

    Shane looked at the trainer, it was a boy about his age. The boy however was slightly taller and appeared more experienced as Shane.

    "The name is Erik and I originally come from the Jotho region, and you are?" The boy sounded calm and confident

    "I'm Shane and she is Athena" Shane replied as he pointed to the growlithe, which lost interest in the branch and had started inspecting the strange pokemon from a small distance. "She has just hatched so she is still exploring everything" he said as he let out a sigh of embarrassment.

    "Don't worry it's fine, he won't bite he just wanted to play along," the boy explained to Athena while kneeling down to his pokemon as he petted it.

    "What do you think Athena, want to play together with him" But the question had no use, as Athen already got a branch and dared the other pokemon to grab it.

    The two pokemon played together for a while as their trainers sat down on the field and chatted about all kinds of stuff.

    "Who's that pokemon with you, if I may ask?" Shane was still wondering about the, for him, strange pokemon.

    "As you know he's called Max, and he's a houndour." The boy smiled "And he's the most playful one you'll ever meet."

    "Why is that" Shane stood up and took the branch from Athena and threw it across the route.

    "Houndour are normally very aggressive to pokemon outside the pack, but Max is an exception. I don't know why though" Erik stood up "Max come here, it's time to move along." He turned to Shane "Well I better get back to training with Max, maybe we'll meet again"

    "Yes, I hope so" Shane also stood up and called Athena to him

    Both the trainers and the pokemon said goodbye and left into different directions, Erik going deeper in the forest in search of stronger pokemon and Shane towards Viridian City.

    As expected Shane and Athena got out of the forest by nightfall, from there it would be a walk though the fields and hills to reach Viridian City. Shane fed Athena some pokemon food and then returned her in her pokeball. Shane pulled out a sleeping bag from his backpack and quickly fell asleep.
     
    Last edited:

    Cookie-powa

    Cookie Trainer
  • 31
    Posts
    15
    Years
    It was a very good chapter but half if its ruined by the grammar and spelling mistakes. You must be running it through a word document or spell checker right? There's alot of mistakes that you would notice straight away with a document/checker.

    Take your time, by using one of these it will make your fic twice as better.
    Nothing to change with the story itself, all good material there.
     
    Last edited:

    Blue Screen of Death

    Wait, what?
  • 323
    Posts
    15
    Years
    Overall this was a good chapter, nice description. You could still use some work on your spelling and grammar. Not much else left to say. Keep up the good work, and maybe check out something to help you on the spelling and grammar.
     
  • 29
    Posts
    15
    Years
    I just ran it through a spelling and grammar checker, and printed it to read it myself. I have to say you guys are right, I sometimes even forgot words >.<', so hereby you receive my apologies.

    Anyways I'm now correcting the first two chapters(and chapter three), so expect them online anytime today.
     
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