"Shh, there's younger children around!"

[Evanlyn]

Teenagers and adults swear all the time. Like, some swear every two words. Others, nowhere near that much, but they still do it! (I'm not counting here those who don't swear at all)

Anyway, if it's all right for teens and up to swear, why do we, when one swears in front of a child; "Shh, there's a kid here!" or, if one just randomly swears (in say, a forum, or a chat); "Shh! There could be young children listening!"

I know that some people actually, in fact, do swear in front of children; but why does one (I know I do, I don't know about anyone else) feel... like... I can't explain it.. but anyway, if/when a child swears, why do we feel.. maybe upset? Annoyed? Slightly disgusted?

Is it because it is, in fact, wrong to swear? If it is wrong to swear; why does one do it? If it isn't; why doesn't one do it in front of children?

Discuss.

 

[Shining Raichu]

I think it's because we're way over-protective of children. We underestimate them and therefore we coddle them way more than we really should. Somehow we were given with this godawful instinct to protect the young from everything, and somehow harmless activities like swearing got caught up in the cross-fire. I think we need to remember that words only have as much power as we give them. Personally I have no problem with swearing in front of children.

I got into a bit of trouble with that once when I was about 16. My parents had their friends over, and they had a ten year old child. I was speaking and without thinking I dropped the F-bomb, not remembering that I was not with my friends. My mother said "Andrew!" (you know, the way parents do) while the mother of the 10-year-old immediately flicked her eyes to her child and then gave me a wide-eyed stare as if to say "How could you? In front of the child?!"

I got immediately annoyed by everybody's hostility and said "oh grow up, you think he hasn't heard that before?" for which I was sent immediately to my room XD.

It was unintentional, but I'm glad I did it and from that moment I've made a point of not censoring myself just because there are children present. I truly believe that it's condescending to do that, and I think if you actually asked children their opinion on the matter, they would agree with me. Nobody wants to be talked down to or have people censor themselves around you- it's demeaning.

 

[Sir Codin]

I'm in argeement with Shining Raichu. I think it's completely selfish and arrogant to ask people to censor themselves around children.

I'm not responsible for your kids; you are. Hell, I hate it when you censor yourself around me; no one cares if you swear, least of all me.

 

[droomph]

If it wasn't meant to be said, it wouldn't be invented as a word.

However, there are times when any word are inappropriate. Eg if we're at the scene of someone's death, we treat "Good!" the same way we treat swear words. But at the same time, if we go tutor your 5 year old cousin, and he solves a question very fast and correctly, the same "Good!" with the same tone of voice is now a good word, and is actually encouraged to be said.

So my take on swear words. The first time I heard an f-bomb, the whooooole cafeteria went "OH MAH GOD YOU SAID THE F WORD", but honestly "****" sounded like any word in the dictionary, and it sounded beautiful to me. But I have since been trained to go "mmmmm...*disappoint*" when I hear the word "****". And it's sad - **** is such a pretty word...

From that story, I can say for myself that swearing isn't bad - it's the social stigma we give those words that makes it so bad. A person can say "Imma **** in that portapotty" and "I am going to defecate in that portable toilet", which mean the same thing, but people look at the latter with less disgust. And if a child swears - I know I should be okay with it, because it's just words, but that "mmmmm...*disappoint*" mentality I mentioned before is the reason I go, "who the hell taught you those words?"

And as Louis CK said once, "the N-word" just sounds like white people getting away with saying "******". And "****", and "******". All pretty words, but society has stripped them of their beauty...and you have to realize, good words, like "strengths" or "rhythmic", can be considered "ugly" by some because of their phonetic properties, yet we don't call them "sometimes ugly" words. So if that's the case, we shouldn't declare "****" or "******" to be "ugly" or "bad" just because "****" means "vagina" and "******" means "homosexual". Also, on a similar note, I hate the "kh", "pkh", and "tkh" sounds in Greek and Latin - yet a word (that I made up) like "chephith" isn't a bad word simply because it has my least favorite sounds. Instead, "chephith" would have to be associated with a bad thing before people would even consider calling it a "bad word".

*note that in Greek and Latin, originally "ch", "ph", and "th" weren't pronounced "ch", "f", and "þ/ð" like we do today.

 

[TRIFORCE89]

I'm not going to swear at a child or while talking to a child.

But, I may swear around them. If I'm not talking to them, but talking to their parents, and they're not really listening to me at all. I don't see a huge problem.

At the same time, I don't really swear to begin with. So, the point is kind of mute XD But if something were to slip out, it'd follow the above.

 

[Esper]

Swearing is seen as a bad thing by a lot of people, especially parents of young kids. I don't want to 1) have some annoying parent get on my case about swearing in front of their kid and 2) don't want to teach the kid something that they'll repeat at home and get in trouble for. Granted, I'd never know about #2 if it happened, but I have an imagination and I know it's at least potentially possible.

 

[Guy]

I'll admit it, I'm one of those people who feel sort of embarrassed or a little bit disgusted when I hear these young kids using swear words. It's not because I shun such words, but because when they use it, they think their suddenly so cool or higher than thou that it's annoying to listen to. Also because when they start, they apparently can't seem to stop. Like, you're not cool if you use a swear word every minute, okay?

Personally, I just see it as inappropriate for little kids to be using such words, especially when they don't know the meaning of the term or are using it completely out of context to the point where they are just saying it even if it makes no sense. I don't know, maybe it's because I'm old fashioned and I grew up learning that such words aren't exactly considered "good" to use, but I never liked the idea of seeing little kids swearing. I feel like even though they are just words in society, it takes away some of the innocence in a child. Again, maybe it's because I'm sort of old fashioned when it comes to something like this.

However, I also say it's a parent's responsibility to prevent their kids from picking up on curse words if they don't want them saying it. I grew up with my grandfather living with us and he had a sailor's tongue (no really, he used to be sailor). He'd curse so often, but my sister and I never picked up on using those words, because our parents made us understand that they weren't necessarily good words to use and just because adults or other people do it, doesn't mean we should.

I'm twenty-years old now, and even though I may have friends who curse, I'm the type of person who doesn't swear, not in front of my friends or family. So in my case, I guess the opinion of what I think about swearing in front of children is sort of mute as well.

 

[Charicific]

If I see the next generation of kids publicly swear serious term...such as F-Bombs, then I would consider humanity lost. I just feel disgusted when I see a kid swear. I am that kind of idealistic type of person. I cannot imagine immoral kids to be the successors in the future. Let's face it, swearing...isn't a "right" thing to do, so if a kid does, I think people have crossed the line :\

By swearing, I mean really serious type of swearing, not the kiddy kind such as calling someone names or something. That...., I might tolerate a bit, but I just can't stand the idea of a running mouth for children spilling insults as adults do. I accept that idea as simply "corruption". I don't care whether they heard of these term before or not, what I care is, they don't frequently apply it in their daily speeches.

So now you could guess I am the kind of person who would never spill out something inappropriate in front of a kid. And I wont actually allow it to happen by someone else.

 

[Ephemeral Euphoria]

I don't swear that often unless I'm extremely pissed off at something and even then kids are rarely present at the time when I do it, only time I can really remember dropping a cuss word around kids before was when I accidentally yelled "the S word" around some 10 year olds nearby when at a Toys R Us for a Darkrai event at the time by accident, reason why was because the battery on my DS was nearly spent by the time I was able to download the event sadly but thankfully I got the Darkrai in time before my DS went dead.

I don't mind swearing from others very much though, if they want to say something good or bad then so be it.

 

[fiOWNya]

I don't mind swearing, but it's definitely the parent's responsibility to teach kids when it's appropriate or not. I personally don't swear in front of kids, though, because most parents hate it and I don't want to deal with them getting all upset at me. ;)

As far as I'm concerned, I don't mind if people swear in front of my son. I'll just make sure he learns when it is and isn't appropriate to use these words, just like any other (I see it as a similar level as knowing when to laugh and when to try to hide it). I see it more as something that kids just need to be educated on. If I don't totally prohibit swearing, I feel like it just won't be as 'cool' to do so and would actually become less of an issue.

Doesn't mean I want to hear people swearing at my kid, though. That's a no go. But swearing because someone hurt himself or is really excited about something? Not a problem. And I definitely wouldn't like to hear my kid swearing all the time in front of other people. That's not polite or acceptable either, and he would know that.

Tldr; I don't mind other people swearing in front of my kid, because I could use it as a lesson of what and what not to do. I feel like not making a big deal about it is much more effective than totally prohibiting it, as long as you take the time to teach kids about the word and when is and is not acceptable to use it.

 

[Oryx]

If I see the next generation of kids publicly swear serious term...such as F-Bombs, then I would consider humanity lost. I just feel disgusted when I see a kid swear. I am that kind of idealistic type of person. I cannot imagine immoral kids to be the successors in the future. Let's face it, swearing...isn't a "right" thing to do, so if a kid does, I think people have crossed the line :\

By swearing, I mean really serious type of swearing, not the kiddy kind such as calling someone names or something. That...., I might tolerate a bit, but I just can't stand the idea of a running mouth for children spilling insults as adults do. I accept that idea as simply "corruption". I don't care whether they heard of these term before or not, what I care is, they don't frequently apply it in their daily speeches.

So now you could guess I am the kind of person who would never spill out something inappropriate in front of a kid. And I wont actually allow it to happen by someone else.

Two questions:

1. You mentioned insults. Are you alright with swearing if it's not an insult to anyone, or do you believe it's wrong for a child to say it whether or not it's meant as an insult towards someone? Either way, why is it more "wrong" than some other more hurtful things that could be said to another child? (e.g. "You're a *****!" vs. "You were an accident and your mom didn't want you!")
2. How do you not allow someone to say something? XD;

 

[Shining Raichu]

So, the point is kind of mute XD

So in my case, I guess the opinion of what I think about swearing in front of children is sort of mute as well.

Moot. Moot. Say it with me. Moot. :P

If I see the next generation of kids publicly swear serious term...such as F-Bombs, then I would consider humanity lost. I just feel disgusted when I see a kid swear. I am that kind of idealistic type of person. I cannot imagine immoral kids to be the successors in the future. Let's face it, swearing...isn't a "right" thing to do, so if a kid does, I think people have crossed the line :\

Well swearing may not be the 'right' thing to do, but lets be real: it's swearing. It's not that big a deal. It doesn't hurt anybody - no humans were harmed in the making of those words. This may not be a point that's particularly relevant to the discussion, but people use the term "immoral" all the time when it's just not applicable. Murder and rape are immoral. Cheating on a test, on your taxes or on your wife is immoral. Swearing is... well it might not be compatible with your values, but values and morals are two different things.

I think that feeds into the point I made in my post - that somehow swearing is seen as a gateway activity to harder stuff that is immoral. It's just swearing. Why is it that big of a deal?

 

[droomph]

If I see the next generation of kids publicly swear serious term...such as F-Bombs, then I would consider humanity lost. I just feel disgusted when I see a kid swear. I am that kind of idealistic type of person. I cannot imagine immoral kids to be the successors in the future. Let's face it, swearing...isn't a "right" thing to do, so if a kid does, I think people have crossed the line :\

By swearing, I mean really serious type of swearing, not the kiddy kind such as calling someone names or something. That...., I might tolerate a bit, but I just can't stand the idea of a running mouth for children spilling insults as adults do. I accept that idea as simply "corruption". I don't care whether they heard of these term before or not, what I care is, they don't frequently apply it in their daily speeches.

So now you could guess I am the kind of person who would never spill out something inappropriate in front of a kid. And I wont actually allow it to happen by someone else.

Hey, my marching band has come up with the term "queermosexual" and call each other "*****s" all day long. It's not because they're immoral - it's just that they're close and everyone knows we have different boundaries. Now, if that turned into stabbing and bashing each other over the head with sousaphones, that would be "crossing the line". If there wasn't meant to be said, there wouldn't be a word for it. Language is a series of sounds that are categorized as a society to have a certain meaning - that means, at least a thousand - maybe millions - have agreed that "****" means "sex-ing", and that means that it's a good and valid word to be used. However, there are "politeness" levels in every language (like "ya'" and "You" mean the same thing, but used in different situations) so if it's used in a wrong way - that isn't a bad word on its own, but merely reflects immorality. So yes, you can say "****" with a close friend and that's no big deal morally for anyone, but if you say "****" with the President of the United States, that's when the morality issues arise. It isn't wrong, so to say, because anything can be wrong. Asking the President out? Even if you "acted like a sir" and used words such as "May I ask you out on a date?", it would still be wrong morally. You never said a "swear word", but you did something wrong that is on the scale of dropping an f-bomb.

But honestly, they're synonyms, so why not use them? Of course using them too much can be a problem, but everything in life must be done in moderation anyways so it's just one more thing you have to limit.

 

[TRIFORCE89]

Moot. Moot. Say it with me. Moot. :P

I probably should have spelled it properly, but I pronounce it as "mute" even if that's wrong. Like people who say "liberry" instead of "library"

 

[Primary Spectrum]

My little cousins swears more than I do. It's not wrong, it just looks very bad.

I think it's the influences such as TV that make him psycho

 

[Treecko]

I think it's the parent's choice and responsibility to teach their kids whether swearing is appropriate or not. I personally don't swear and that's because I was raised to believe those words are bad. I have been influenced by parents and other adults like youth leaders not to use those words. Not that swearing extremely bad, just doesn't sound like good vocabulary to, or for me at least. So it bothers me a bit when I hear children swear because I was taught differently than them. They're parents most likely used swear words around their kids, they hear their mom and dad and say those words because little children look up to their parents. Childhood is a very impressionable time.
Society also gives that impression that swear words are bad for kids. Whenever children hear a curse worse, everyone goes "AWWWWWWW he/she said the f-word! I'm telling!"

I don't swear around children just because I never swear much at all, so I'll probably teach my kids not to swear either.

 

[Yoshikko]

I'll admit it, I'm one of those people who feel sort of embarrassed or a little bit disgusted when I hear these young kids using swear words. It's not because I shun such words, but because when they use it, they think their suddenly so cool or higher than thou that it's annoying to listen to. Also because when they start, they apparently can't seem to stop. Like, you're not cool if you use a swear word every minute, okay?

Personally, I just see it as inappropriate for little kids to be using such words, especially when they don't know the meaning of the term or are using it completely out of context to the point where they are just saying it even if it makes no sense. I don't know, maybe it's because I'm old fashioned and I grew up learning that such words aren't exactly considered "good" to use, but I never liked the idea of seeing little kids swearing. I feel like even though they are just words in society, it takes away some of the innocence in a child. Again, maybe it's because I'm sort of old fashioned when it comes to something like this.

I agree with this, and I also want to say that even if it seems like a kid doesn't listen or hear what you're saying when you're talking to your friends around them, they really do. Especially very little children will pick up almost everything that happens around them, and thinking they don't is actually more condescending than thinking they can't "handle" a swear word because they do understand what you are saying, even if they don't understand the word, because every word is said with a certain kind of passion or emotion behind it, or a tone, and every child can recognize that.

And I think it's inconsiderate to use swearwords around young children because older people are their example, it's copy behaviour, everyone with a younger sibling will know that. Everyone can make a slip up and that's okay, but thinking it won't matter or that they can "handle" it is selfish to think and also something that you do not decide. If you're around young children often then you need to set the right example for them, and it's irresponsible imo if you don't.

 

[Her]

Swearing isn't wrong, it's the negative connotations that society places on those words that make them seem wrong. Of course I do not want my child swearing and would much prefer it if they didn't swear, but they're going to learn those words eventually, so maybe we should put more emphasis on teaching the children the words themselves are 'improper in every day conversation' as well as shielding them from swear words. I mean, if they don't hear it from you, they'll definitely hear it from someone else, no? I know, I know; they're children, they don't know the word is 'bad', how can we get them to understand that it is? To be quite frank, I have no idea. I'll leave that to other people to decide. But what I'm trying to say is that even though we can't protect children from swearing and hearing swear words and what not, we should do our best to let them know that they should not be swearing at their age.

 

[Oryx]

Swearing isn't wrong, it's the negative connotations that society places on those words that make them seem wrong. Of course I do not want my child swearing and would much prefer it if they didn't swear, but they're going to learn those words eventually, so maybe we should put more emphasis on teaching the children the words themselves are 'improper in every day conversation' as well as shielding them from swear words. I mean, if they don't hear it from you, they'll definitely hear it from someone else, no? I know, I know; they're children, they don't know the word is 'bad', how can we get them to understand that it is? To be quite frank, I have no idea. I'll leave that to other people to decide. But what I'm trying to say is that even though we can't protect children from swearing and hearing swear words and what not, we should do our best to let them know that they should not be swearing at their age.

The only real way to get them to understand is to show that it's wrong when they or other people do it; so punish them if they say it, and scold anyone who says it in front of them. A swear jar would work too, where people put in a quarter whenever they swear, but only with kids that actually have quarters haha.

On a related note, I used to laugh at my mom when she decided not to swear and instead used a word that sounded entirely out of place. I knew what she wanted to say and I thought it was hilarious that she was putting so much effort into shielding me from it. It's not like I swore, I knew that it was something that was only okay for grownups to do, but that meant it was okay for her, haha.

 

[Esper]

I think that feeds into the point I made in my post - that somehow swearing is seen as a gateway activity to harder stuff that is immoral. It's just swearing. Why is it that big of a deal?

It can be a gateway of sorts.

Swearing can be pretty bad if the word has other connotations, if it doubles as a swear and a slur. If a little kid calls someone a sl** that's not just a bad word, but part of a whole culture of shame directed toward women. As the kid gets older and learns the word has other meanings, do you think they're going to stop saying it? I think they'd be much more likely to keep using it because it will be a habit by then.