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So... This is a Love Song (Inspired, but not Plagiarized)

Romance Hero

문법의 경찰!
    • 490
    Posts
    16
    Years
    I was listening to some Soul and R&B songs on the radio, and just wanted to make my own. I can't think of a specific beat to go along with, so it'll be similar to reading a poem.


    I see it's all clear the window shines through
    I believe what I dream comes right from you
    There's a reason I close my eyes whenever you pass me by,
    And no reason why I can't quite speak, I wanna run and hide.
    And the ice, oh so cold, the winter cools me out,
    But the fire, from your arms, just melts me to my heart


    So... This is a love song...
    Where I clear out all my feelings
    This is my love song,
    It's my only work of art
    Collaborate me, tie a knot, baby this is all I got.
    Oh, love song... Just listen.

    Wonders come and go, like seasons, there's only four.
    Five if you count all the future I foresee.
    If you call it quits that only makes it three,
    I can live with the two of us, just you and I,
    But if I'm all alone, I'm sure it only makes me wanna die.

    So... This is a love song,
    I'm callin' out to you
    Girl, my affection so strong,
    What am I gonna do?
    I see the world forming day, Only a few words you gotta say.
    Love song... Love song.

    Short, and not much to it... Well, it's my first try at a song, and imagine Mario singing it, haha.
     

    bna_li

    • 2,006
    Posts
    20
    Years
    Hm. I'll tell you how you could make it more fluent. For each line, you should try and have the same number of syllables. Hm. Example.

    You should let me love you (6)
    Let me be the one to (6)

    Get it? Try writing another one, and I'll write a song.
     

    Romance Hero

    문법의 경찰!
    • 490
    Posts
    16
    Years
    Um... hmm... that's a toughie. Sure, I don't mind if you use the lyrics, I think it'll be interesting how others will see it into perspective of sound. :)
     
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