Teen Mom

[Oryx]

Way to paint a wide brush there. I find it very troubling that people look down on all teen mothers without even knowing the people they judge. It's no different than those who judge black people because of the colour of their skin. It's no different than those who judge Jewish people because of their faith. And it's no different than those who judge gays and lesbians because of who they love. Unless we truly know the people we are discussing, who are we to judge them at all? Who gives any of us the right to tell another person how they should live their lives?

I was raised better than that. It's a shame too many people weren't.

It is different though. There are a very small percentage of teen parents that are parents because they were being safe and using protection and something went wrong. The vast, vast majority of teen parents are teens just not caring about the consequences and being irresponsible. Skin color is not a choice. Sexuality is not a choice. Faith is (debatably) not a choice. But when a person knows the consequences of their actions and still choose to make the more irresponsible one, it's different. It's a decision that they consciously made knowing the consequences. Your analogy doesn't hold very well.

 

[Dakotah]

It is different though. There are a very small percentage of teen parents that are parents because they were being safe and using protection and something went wrong. The vast, vast majority of teen parents are teens just not caring about the consequences and being irresponsible. Skin color is not a choice. Sexuality is not a choice. Faith is (debatably) not a choice. But when a person knows the consequences of their actions and still choose to make the more irresponsible one, it's different. It's a decision that they consciously made knowing the consequences. Your analogy doesn't hold very well.

I was raised not to judge, regardless of circumstances. I accept people for who they are no matter what decisions they've made in life. Whether I agree with a person's decisions or not is really irrelevant. And for sure, I have no right to tell another person how he or she should live their lives.

You speak of people who make irrational decisions to have a child when they are young, but truly, on what basis do we determine what is rational and what isn't? I've learned in my long years of life that people mature at different rates. I've known some 10 and 12 year olds to act more mature than some 30 year olds. Given this, is it not more prudent on our part to get to know a person before judging them? Perhaps once we get to know them, and know the circumstances that led up to that young woman becoming pregnant, we won't be so judgmental.

And let's be realistic here. Teens have been getting pregnant since the beginning of time. Our condemnation of it isn't going to change a thing, and I find it a complete waste of time. Instead, we should be seeking ways to both discourage people from becoming parents at such a young age, while at the same time helping those who do.

They don't need our judgment. They need our support. All judging them is going to do is make things more difficult, which in turn makes us partly responsible for the hardships these women face.

 

[Oryx]

I was raised not to judge, regardless of circumstances. I accept people for who they are no matter what decisions they've made in life. Whether I agree with a person's decisions or not is really irrelevant. And for sure, I have no right to tell another person how he or she should live their lives.

You speak of people who make irrational decisions to have a child when they are young, but truly, on what basis do we determine what is rational and what isn't? I've learned in my long years of life that people mature at different rates. I've known some 10 and 12 year olds to act more mature than some 30 year olds. Given this, is it not more prudent on our part to get to know a person before judging them? Perhaps once we get to know them, and know the circumstances that led up to that young woman becoming pregnant, we won't be so judgmental.

And let's be realistic here. Teens have been getting pregnant since the beginning of time. Our condemnation of it isn't going to change a thing, and I find it a complete waste of time. Instead, we should be seeking ways to both discourage people from becoming parents at such a young age, while at the same time helping those who do.

They don't need our judgment. They need our support. All judging them is going to do is make things more difficult, which in turn makes us partly responsible for the hardships these women face.

Where you're going wrong is assuming that our opinions affect how we treat a person. Although I believe that teen moms in general are irresponsible and don't have foresight, if a teen mom came up and started talking to me, I wouldn't walk away without saying a word to them or even treat them any differently than I would any other stranger.

If my sister or friend was a pregnant teen, yes I would support them. But I would still tell them that they were irresponsible, because they were and glossing over the fact will just encourage them to make more irresponsible decisions in the future. You remind me a lot of the people that raise children to not get grades or play sports with no win or lose because it's just too harsh for them. If I made a mistake that huge, I would expect judgement because I would acknowledge that I was being completely irresponsible.

And yes, there are some 10 year olds that may seem mature enough to have kids. But that is the minority. This is why there are age limits - they're not perfect but they certainly do better than letting all 10 year olds drive (and not judging their driving ability, cause judging is wrong) and hoping they're mostly good enough at it that it works out alright for them and the other people on the road.

 

[Kura]

I was raised not to judge, regardless of circumstances. I accept people for who they are no matter what decisions they've made in life. Whether I agree with a person's decisions or not is really irrelevant. And for sure, I have no right to tell another person how he or she should live their lives.

You speak of people who make irrational decisions to have a child when they are young, but truly, on what basis do we determine what is rational and what isn't? I've learned in my long years of life that people mature at different rates. I've known some 10 and 12 year olds to act more mature than some 30 year olds. Given this, is it not more prudent on our part to get to know a person before judging them? Perhaps once we get to know them, and know the circumstances that led up to that young woman becoming pregnant, we won't be so judgmental.

And let's be realistic here. Teens have been getting pregnant since the beginning of time. Our condemnation of it isn't going to change a thing, and I find it a complete waste of time. Instead, we should be seeking ways to both discourage people from becoming parents at such a young age, while at the same time helping those who do.

They don't need our judgment. They need our support. All judging them is going to do is make things more difficult, which in turn makes us partly responsible for the hardships these women face.

But we're not looking down on the people, we are looking down on the action. You can't say that you don't do that either because you said it yourself:

Whether I agree with a person's decisions or not is really irrelevant.

We are merely disagreeing with the choice to have a child when someone is not ready, which a vast majority of teen parents are. So therefore we don't condole the behaviour. No one mature would treat a pregnant mom with disrespect or anything of the such, but it doesn't mean that we think their decision to have sex before they are ready to have a child is an intelligible one.
For example.. you can love someone but you can dislike a trait that they have. In this case, we can like the people, but hate the fact that they were irresponsible.
Though we don't have to condemn people to necessarily disagree with their choices.

I do agree with you on that we should discourage the action, but how would you do that? Take away child support for those who probably need it the most? That wouldn't do anything, really. If anything, people who DO judge are the ones who are discouraging the action, because no one wants to be shamed.

HOWEVER, I do not think teen parents who are responsible are looked down upon. Those parents are actually admired. I think it is the teen parents who don't take responsibility that become the ones that are judged. Some people may think that's rightfully so, (even though we really shouldn't actually be judging anyone..) but at the same time it's part of the consequences that they already know about from the beginning.

That's just what I think anyways.. (I hope that made sense)

 

[Dakotah]

Where you're going wrong is assuming that our opinions affect how we treat a person.

If you voice an opinion to one person, and that person agrees with you, and then another, and then another, very quickly it becomes a very large number of people displaying their displeasure with someone. Our opinions do have a very real impact on the people around us, whether in a forum such as this or in the real world when we talk to family and friends.

So, while you may not act differently towards a person, the fact that they are aware of your opinion can in itself cause harm. There has to be a better way people can state that they are troubled by teen pregnancy without condemning a person or subjecting them to arbitrary judgment.

But we're not looking down on the people, we are looking down on the action.

When a person states, in no uncertain terms, that they look down on teen pregnancy, they are very much looking down on the person. It is a judgment of thier maturity, of their ability to decide what is best for themselves. It is an attack on a person's right to live their lives the way they see fit, provided no laws are broken. It's a very personal attack. By looking down on the action, you are in effect looking down on the person, and that can only serve to increase the hardship these young women face.

They suddenly have all this responsibility thrust upon them because of something that happened, and instead of receiving love and support from their family and friends, they receive judgment. How can that not increase the level of stress these young women have?

We are merely disagreeing with the choice to have a child when someone is not ready, which a vast majority of teen parents are. So therefore we don't condole the behaviour. No one mature would treat a pregnant mom with disrespect or anything of the such, but it doesn't mean that we think their decision to have sex before they are ready to have a child is an intelligible one.

I challenge you to name one parent, of any age, who is truly ready to have a child. Do you know how many mother's I've talked to who claimed they were ready, and indeed planned for one with their husbands, only to find out they weren't even remotely prepared? Children do not come with instruction manuals. No parent, no matter their age, is truly prepared to deal with all the things that come with raising a child. Every choice, every step, is an experiment. Sometimes you make mistakes, sometimes you get things right.

The point is, this "disagreeing with the choice to have a child when someone is not ready," is really a pointless argument and a complete waste of effort. We are not the young women who suddenly find themselves pregnant. We are not the ones intimately involved in the lives of these people, so none of us is in any position to judge another's ability to care for and raise a child.

I do agree with you on that we should discourage the action, but how would you do that?

Simple, you educate. Properly.

 

[Kura]

If you voice an opinion to one person, and that person agrees with you, and then another, and then another, very quickly it becomes a very large number of people displaying their displeasure with someone. Our opinions do have a very real impact on the people around us, whether in a forum such as this or in the real world when we talk to family and friends.

So, while you may not act differently towards a person, the fact that they are aware of your opinion can in itself cause harm. There has to be a better way people can state that they are troubled by teen pregnancy without condemning a person or subjecting them to arbitrary judgment.

Unfortunately, though, you can only spread awareness. You can't control who and what other people judge. If someone voices one opinion, and then someone else voices another.. then they are wholly entitled to that opinion. You don't need to agree with it, and you can also think it's wrong to judge people.. but in a way you are also judging those people who hold that certain opinion. (Judging the judgemental, really, by saying it is wrong and feeling disgusted by those types of people.)

I think the most you can do is try and show your support, and try to get others to show their support with it. I think it's good to do so, but people can both be supportive AND condemning at the same time. They can condemn the action, but support the situation. It's not entirely black and white.. and if people want to hold the opinion of not respecting those teens, then your energy is better spent on people who are willing to help you with your support group rather than spending your energy telling people they're wrong for holding the opinion that they have for personal reasons.

Just my thoughts.

 

[psyanic]

A guy that rides my bus in the mornings is a teen father. The baby itself is not born yet, though the pregnancy tests have been proved positive. He is actually excited about it. In my middle school, there was a girl in my P.E. class that was also a teen mom. I never actually completely understood their circumstances, other than that they were simply engaged in sexual activity with their boy/girlfriend. From what I was told, they were not intentionally trying to get a child. I don't think young girls want to have kids, I mean who would?

And let's be realistic here. Teens have been getting pregnant since the beginning of time. Our condemnation of it isn't going to change a thing, and I find it a complete waste of time. Instead, we should be seeking ways to both discourage people from becoming parents at such a young age, while at the same time helping those who do.

If we're talking about the beginning of time, the life expectancies were shorter and so people had babies when they were still in their teens, since that was basically the standard. This goes hand in hand with how early they got married as well. It's not at all like today's society, where people are expected to live to at least 70 or so (US) while back then, people barely lived past 30 (going by the Middle Ages).

You can discourage people all you want, people aren't going to listen. Can you believe how many videos I had to watch, from middle through high school, just about safe sex and abstinence? They're all rinse and repeat, real-life examples, and overall teens don't care. It's not that they want have kids, it's that they want to have sex. This goes with the media, since the media portrays a lot of the negative habits of standard human society, such as sex, drinking, smoking, etc., as an awesome thing to do and you basically have to do it due to peer pressure or another.

To be honest, I don't care if people do these things. It's that they have to be willing to take responsibility as well as the consequences for their actions. Having sex is a decision, as Toujours said, and they have to accept that they made the choice. They took the risk, and they lost the coin toss. That is essentially they way to discourage, but by then it's just too late.

Unfortunately, many teen males and females do not have the good fortune of living in [stable family] situations and do not see much of a future for themselves. Most young people see little employment opportunity around them and will probably face a life of low economic status, ever-present racism, and inadequate opportunities for quality education. . . . Under such conditions, it is no wonder that some young people, instead of becoming industrious and hopeful, become sexually intimate for a short-term sense of comfort, and ultimately become profoundly fatalistic.

This relates to understanding circumstances, since we really can't know, which goes with what you said about judging people and all. We shouldn't to begin with.

Should we help them because they made that choice? I'd be pressed to say that what you should. All people have the right to live. People make bad choices, but that doesn't take away their title as human beings. Yes, they should have support. That support is given by the government in terms of welfare. Conversely, one step up the government made to stop these pregnancies was to make welfare harder to obtain, which was very stupid on their part since it only increases the poverty. Being a parent is not easy, and that's a big excuse for teens being unemployed as parents, this occurring most often in the single mothers. Better employment means going back to finishing high school and hoping for a degree in college, right? But these teens are parents, meaning that they simply don't have the time unless their parent/guardian is willing to help raise the baby. And again, this is all circumstantial.

 

[Oryx]

Okay taking off the tags because it's really hard to actually read and reply to such a huge font, lol.

If you voice an opinion to one person, and that person agrees with you, and then another, and then another, very quickly it becomes a very large number of people displaying their displeasure with someone. Our opinions do have a very real impact on the people around us, whether in a forum such as this or in the real world when we talk to family and friends.

So, while you may not act differently towards a person, the fact that they are aware of your opinion can in itself cause harm. There has to be a better way people can state that they are troubled by teen pregnancy without condemning a person or subjecting them to arbitrary judgment.

They're not aware of my opinion.

When a person states, in no uncertain terms, that they look down on teen pregnancy, they are very much looking down on the person. It is a judgment of thier maturity, of their ability to decide what is best for themselves. It is an attack on a person's right to live their lives the way they see fit, provided no laws are broken. It's a very personal attack. By looking down on the action, you are in effect looking down on the person, and that can only serve to increase the hardship these young women face.

What people seem to not understand about having a child is that it's not just the parents. There is literally a child involved in this. When you bring another human into the mix it's no longer living your life as you see fit. If a teen is, to use the example psanic used, in a terrible economic situation with no jobs and no real hope of moving up in the world and little to no ambition, they are bringing a child into that mess because of their irresponsibility. They're choosing to bring a child into a situation that they knew from the beginning was harmful. How does that only affect the parent?

They suddenly have all this responsibility thrust upon them because of something that happened, and instead of receiving love and support from their family and friends, they receive judgment. How can that not increase the level of stress these young women have?

Already said that if it was my family, I would support them, so this is kind of moot. It doesn't matter what you feel about morals, you always support your family. But you always try to put them on a better path as well. For example, my sister decided last week that, instead of attending her calculus exam, she would just skip "because she'd just get a 0 anyway". Instead of loving and supporting her decision, I reamed her out and now she's going and I'm helping her pass the class. That's on a much smaller scale, but it's the same idea - she was making a bad decision, and instead of just saying "oh you're making a bad decision but I love you so I'm going to ignore it", I tried to get her to make a better decision.

I challenge you to name one parent, of any age, who is truly ready to have a child. Do you know how many mother's I've talked to who claimed they were ready, and indeed planned for one with their husbands, only to find out they weren't even remotely prepared? Children do not come with instruction manuals. No parent, no matter their age, is truly prepared to deal with all the things that come with raising a child. Every choice, every step, is an experiment. Sometimes you make mistakes, sometimes you get things right.

You're comparing adults with careers and stable environments and a steady income and plans for their lives that include children to teens that have sex and "suddenly, baby"? That's insane tbh. I feel the same way about irresponsible teen pregnancy as irresponsible adult pregnancy - I know a family that is barely living off of what they have and the woman has been pregnant twice in the past two years. I do look down on that family as irresponsible, because they struggle with money all the time and then have more children that are born into that struggle, and add to it even more.

The point is, this "disagreeing with the choice to have a child when someone is not ready," is really a pointless argument and a complete waste of effort. We are not the young women who suddenly find themselves pregnant. We are not the ones intimately involved in the lives of these people, so none of us is in any position to judge another's ability to care for and raise a child.

If you think it's pointless why bother discussing it? Either you think it's pointless so you don't discuss at all, or you think there's value in the discussion so you keep discussing. o_O Obviously I don't think the idea is pointless or else I wouldn't be trying to explain it to you, but if you think it's pointless then why bother?

Simple, you educate. Properly.

This is an extremely vague answer and does no one any good whatsoever. Educate them with what? Do you think people haven't been trying to educate teens at all so far? That's like me saying "How do you stop crime? You make criminals stop committing crimes. So simple, I can't believe no one's done it yet!"

 

[Dakotah]

Okay taking off the tags because it's really hard to actually read and reply to such a huge font, lol.

One of the disadvantages of getting older, my friend. I'm just thankful my hair hasn't started falling out. <knocks on wood>

Ok, to respond to your responses to responses:

They're not aware of my opinion.

They may very well be. Non-verbal communication can be just as effective as verbal, and often, non-verbal communication is more honest. You would be surprised at how adept people are at picking up on other people's body language.

What people seem to not understand about having a child is that it's not just the parents. There is literally a child involved in this. When you bring another human into the mix it's no longer living your life as you see fit. If a teen is, to use the example psanic used, in a terrible economic situation with no jobs and no real hope of moving up in the world and little to no ambition, they are bringing a child into that mess because of their irresponsibility. They're choosing to bring a child into a situation that they knew from the beginning was harmful. How does that only affect the parent?

It affects the entire family. But the question is, does any of what you mention truly matter IF the young woman has an effective support system in place? A good support system will enable the teen mother to do what needs to be done, both for herself, and for her child.

Already said that if it was my family, I would support them, so this is kind of moot. It doesn't matter what you feel about morals, you always support your family. But you always try to put them on a better path as well. For example, my sister decided last week that, instead of attending her calculus exam, she would just skip "because she'd just get a 0 anyway". Instead of loving and supporting her decision, I reamed her out and now she's going and I'm helping her pass the class. That's on a much smaller scale, but it's the same idea - she was making a bad decision, and instead of just saying "oh you're making a bad decision but I love you so I'm going to ignore it", I tried to get her to make a better decision.

There's nothing wrong with trying to show someone a different way of thinking. Your sister, most likely, was feeling more than a little overwhelmed at the time. I think we all do. What she needed, and what you provided, was the support network to enable her to do what she knew she had to. It wasn't about you disagreeing with her decision, it was about you helping her to realize that she wasn't alone and that you were there to help her. In the end, that's what she really needed, and you should be commended for helping her.

No one can decide for another when they're ready for sexual activity. But if a person does decide to act on their feelings, it's not our place to tell that person she was wrong. It's our place to let her know that we're there for her to help her deal with any consequences of that act. It should never be about disagreeing with her decisions. It should always instead be about being concerned for her welfare. Sometimes that requires a difficult discussion, but we should never be judgmental about that person's decisions.

You're comparing adults with careers and stable environments and a steady income and plans for their lives that include children to teens that have sex and "suddenly, baby"?

I'm making no such comparison. I simply pointed out that age is not a factor in deciding who would make a capable parent. Some teens make for very good parents, and some adults make for very poor parents.

I feel the same way about irresponsible teen pregnancy as irresponsible adult pregnancy - I know a family that is barely living off of what they have and the woman has been pregnant twice in the past two years. I do look down on that family as irresponsible, because they struggle with money all the time and then have more children that are born into that struggle, and add to it even more.

Where you would look down on them, I would congratulate them. Sometimes the best in us comes out when we have to face the hardest challenges. Although I do not know this family, I suspect the parents are doing all they can to provide for their family, even if it means they are forced to seek assistance from the government.

If you think it's pointless why bother discussing it? Either you think it's pointless so you don't discuss at all, or you think there's value in the discussion so you keep discussing. o_O Obviously I don't think the idea is pointless or else I wouldn't be trying to explain it to you, but if you think it's pointless then why bother?

I'm incredulous that so many people take so much time judging others' actions. It astounds me that we can be so selfish that we would seek to change others to better conform to our own views and beliefs. This is why I am discussing it. And also because I am defending teenage mothers everywhere... including my own mother.

This is an extremely vague answer and does no one any good whatsoever. Educate them with what?

The reason I said it was so simple, was because it is. Currently there is two trains of thought regarding sexuality education. First, there is the abstinence only crowd, who believe matters pertaining to sex and sexuality are best left for a time when children grow up, fall in love, and begin thinking about having a family of their own. Then there is the second crowd, among which I am a part, in which it is believed that starting from a very young age (around the time of puberty), children should be given age appropriate lessons on human anatomy, sexual reproduction, STDs, contraceptives, and all other topics pertaining to human sexuality.

We have seen what "abstinence only" education leads to -- increased rates of teen pregnancies. So, it clearly isn't the answer. What's needed is for children to be given age appropriate instruction on human sexuality so that when a situation does arise where they might begin engaging in sexual activity, they will be able to make informed, well educated, decisions. And they will be comfortable knowing that they made the right ones for themselves.

 

[Livewire]

Also, i'd suggest closing this topic, i can see most of the suggestions/views turning out to be quite offensive (Especially to a more mature audience - assuming their is more younger than older on this Pokemon forums).

Please do not try to tell me how to do my job. I will be the one to make such a move, If I, and I alone, deem it necessary.


Back to the topic.



Abstinence-only teaching is a huge part of the problem. That much is obvious. You avoid teen pregnancy by not being a moron and educating yourself in human reproduction & anatomy, and with proper contraceptive use. It's really not that hard.

 

[The Noob Hacker]

Teen pregnancies? Really all I can say is what a shame. Certain people having a child doesn't vastly affect my life, it's completely the parent's responsibility. Is it a bad idea? Yes. But hey, stupid choices for stupid (and in some cases irresponsible or careless) people. But really, if two teens want to drop out of school and have sex all day every day and have twenty children, the world keeps spinning all the same. If it turns out that these careless teens actually have to -insert gasp- take responsibility for their actions -cue the dun, dun, DUN! sound- and it turns out that they were too stupid to realize that maybe having a kid while still being in school isn't the best life choice and are not ready to carry such a burden, well then it really sucks to be them. There's nothing that I can do about it, and there's not really anything that anyone can do to stop it that isn't overly-drastic (Then again, that can pretty much be applied to any act.) so all I can do is sigh, lose some faith in humanity, and continue on with my life.

 

[Platinum Lucario]

Alright, I'm not going to argue with anyone else or anything like that, but I'm going to say what I really have learned so much in my years. First off, is the fact that there is nothing wrong with Teenage Mothers or Fathers when they have their first or second child, it's completely their decission, no one can discourage or control them in any way, and something already tells me how controling does indeed 'cause more pressure leading to stress and other things like that. And I can say... that age can never be accurate, they're only numbers on how long we've lived on Earth. All animals... which includes us humans, never stop evolving... every birth there is always some parts of the body getting weaker and others getting stronger. And this also gets down to the point where young teenage parents can be excellent parents if they want to be.

And I'm meaning to argue with anyone or anything, but support is the most important thing when anyone, regardless of what age they are, how much money they have or how much education they have. Because anyone that knows any teenage parent can explain some things about how to raise a child and what can be done. You can even suggest the father to move in with the mother, or the mother to move in with the father. I can also make a clear announcement that "money is NOT the most important thing in the world", because you can wait for a job later on down the track. A baby does not need processed baby food from the supermarket, nor do they need toys when they've been born. Simple breastfeeding and giving it lots of love is the most important thing when looking after a child, now surely I have seen many things that were natural to simply be discouraged from humanity, it's hard to believe how many people bottlefeed their babies nowadays, I don't get exactly why they do. Teenage Mothers and Fathers can get along very well if nobody "looks down upon them", because that's a way of showing no support or care about them. If anyone showed any support or care about them, it would make such a huge difference, wouldn't it? Looking down on them is something I would never do, because I really would care and support any that were actually having a child... even today, and as long as they have support... they will have a wonderful life, if they wanted to have a child... that's their decission. Anyone... no matter how old they are, they can end up being either good parents or bad parents, and most of the bad parenting comes from parents that never really wanted to have a child in the first place. Any parents can decide if they want to keep their child or terminate it, but I really think terminating/abortion would be a terrible thing to do, because it's basically killing the child before it develops... a such wonderful creature developing inside a mothers body and it lives and breathes.

Even so, research has shown that people around in their 30's (maybe older or younger) have actually shown that babies are born with some sort of disability or health problem. It can also happen when they're in teenage years as well, but it is completely up to their decission, and it shouldn't be a problem as long as they give their child alot of love, support and parent's friends giving them support. As I've clearly stated... age can never be accurate, which is of course... the second time I've said it.

We all have our free choice to think what we wish to think, a human brain can simply work in so many amazing ways, and that's why I give everyone the free choice in what they wish to do, I never would even dream of seizing control of anyone, it's the worst thing to even think about.

And also... the only thing I would worry about anyone, regardless of what age... is when they have sex with several other people without using a condom, because the last thing we'd want is getting Sexually Transmitable Diseases (STDs). That's also why it is important to educate people of those things as early as possible, so that way they will see all those dangers that can occur and try to avoid it from occuring. My suggestion would to stay with the person who you are attached to the most and make the decission from all the things you have learned, and everything would be fine, this goes the same for young teenage parents as well.

There is so much we can do, the person who you're attached to can move in with you or you can move in with the person you're attached to, no matter how young the couple are. You can even grow your own fruit, vegetables and greens. You can even breastfeed your child. So much we can do, it's all a matter of using our human brain of what we have learned. So why would there have to be a need for money? You can simply give your child your old stuff that you had. So many things you can do to not require buying stuff.

 

[marcc5m]

If teenage mums should abort then that's interesting because I wouldn't be here right now.
My Mum was 17 when I was born (but 16 when I was..."made") and my Dad was about 19/20. They planned it (at least I'd like to think so) and they knew the consequences. They were prepared too, they'd already bought a house and had jobs and my grandparents helped out when needed. So yeah I don't see a problem if it's 16+. Below 16 though, I don't think that's very good. They're still a kid themselves and although they may think they're ready, they more than likely aren't.

 

[Esper]

Here's some topic-relevant news from the US:

New Government Data Finds Sharp Decline in Teen Births: Increased Contraceptive Use and Shifts to More Effective Contraceptive Methods Behind this Encouraging Trend [link!]

It also seems that the number of abortions among teens is also declining. If there were ever something we could all agree is a good thing it's this news.

And I can say... that age can never be accurate, they're only numbers on how long we've lived on Earth. All animals... which includes us humans, never stop evolving... every birth there is always some parts of the body getting weaker and others getting stronger. And this also gets down to the point where young teenage parents can be excellent parents if they want to be.

I think it's important to remember that although some teenage parents can be great parents, not all are going to be. Age is just a number, but even as teenagers people's brains are still growing and developing and many are still going through puberty. What I'm getting at is that not everyone is going to be done growing or maturing. Maturity varies, yes, but with someone who is, say, 25 or 30 you can say they are done developing, unlike someone who is a teenager who is likely to still be developing.

 

[twocows]

I look down on planned teen pregnancies.

I don't have any issues with unplanned teen pregnancies if they get an abortion or give the child up for adoption.

I'm the exact opposite. I see no problem with a teenaged couple who has decided that they are going to have a child and are prepared to deal with the responsibilities therein (provided they actually are prepared, meaning there is at least someone with a source of income and someone with the time to deal with the child).

I definitely look down on someone who was caught up in the moment and didn't stop to think about the consequences of their actions. I look down on them because the rest of us had the foresight to put a wrapper on and as a result we're not being an unnecessary burden on society.

As for what they do with the kid (for an unplanned pregnancy, that is), I think that should be left up to the teens' parents. Abortion or adoption should require the consent of both the father's parents and the mother's parents. If either side refuses, they are left to raise the child. The mother and father should not have a say because they have already shown they are not responsible enough to make important life decisions for themselves, let alone for a child.

 

[Esper]

I definitely look down on someone who was caught up in the moment and didn't stop to think about the consequences of their actions. I look down on them because the rest of us had the foresight to put a wrapper on and as a result we're not being an unnecessary burden on society.

As for what they do with the kid (for an unplanned pregnancy, that is), I think that should be left up to the teens' parents. Abortion or adoption should require the consent of both the father's parents and the mother's parents. If either side refuses, they are left to raise the child. The mother and father should not have a say because they have already shown they are not responsible enough to make important life decisions for themselves, let alone for a child.

And what about those cases where a condom breaks or whatever kind of contraception they might use is in some way defective? That's hardly the fault of the people using it.

I really don't like the idea of kids' parents deciding whether their kids, who may have made every attempt they knew of to keep from becoming pregnant, should have to keep and raise a child for 18 years. There should be every leeway for kids who use protection because they're being responsible like adults are (or should be). Really though, I don't think it's fair to penalize any kids with pregnancy and child-rearing because of one mistake.

 

[.:CoralSoda:.]

I wouldn't say I look down on teen mothers. More like I feel indifferent towards them. On one hand I think "Maybe, you should have used protection." and "You brought this on yourself." (this excluding cases, such as a condom breaking or being defective) but then I also think, "That sucks, you're life is over." or at least what you can do is limited. So I think they've made a huge mistake but then I also try to put myself in there shoes. In the case of the teen fathers, if the baby is kept, I find they get off pretty easy. Because in most cases the baby stays with the mother and the relationship usually never lasts. Not saying it can't but from what I've seen it usually doesn't. All I know is I've been seeing teen pregnancies since junior high and I think they're becoming less of a big deal lately.

 

[twocows]

And what about those cases where a condom breaks or whatever kind of contraception they might use is in some way defective? That's hardly the fault of the people using it.

I'll concede that.

I really don't like the idea of kids' parents deciding whether their kids, who may have made every attempt they knew of to keep from becoming pregnant, should have to keep and raise a child for 18 years. There should be every leeway for kids who use protection because they're being responsible like adults are (or should be). Really though, I don't think it's fair to penalize any kids with pregnancy and child-rearing because of one mistake.

No, I'm saying the child's grandparents should get legal guardianship of them. The mother and father should not have custody in cases of negligence, and this means the grandparents decide issues like abortion/adoption/whatever.

 

[2Cool4Mewtwo]

I won't look down upon ALL teen moms, but if they did it without thinking about the consequences, tough for them. (not to mention foolish) - Obviously if it was a voluntary act.

 

[Castgurl]

I don't really know how to really go with this one...
My mother was basically a teen mom. She was born in Cuba and has a very harsh childhood and teen hood as well. She didn't have a choice though; and even with all of that, she managed to raise 3 sons, find a good hard working man who happens to be my father and her husband for 35 years and start a new, stable life for herself and me in the US when I was born in Tampa.

NOW, the ones that had a choice; that decided to take the risk for idiotic or immature reasons, for someone that can easily become a thing in the past the next day, those I have to look down upon. The ones that still party and still living the vida loca. Back in Highschool, I was surrounded by countless girls (as we all probably were) that disobeyed their parents, stayed out late at night partying and had sex like it was nothing with countless partners. Honestly, if they had time to do all of that, to act like "an adult" then they most likely have time to act like "a real one" by facing their consequences.

The ones that do decide to face them head on, I can't help but have a soft spot for them. Like the poster with the mother that gave him/her up for adoption and were able to reconnect later on in life. I just hate the ones that simply "don't snap outta it" even after their child is born.

Everyone here at some point thought about it; wither we decided to take the chance or wait, is totally your personal choice. For me, I decided to focused more on my art and what I want to become in the future. Don't get me wrong, I feel for them. For losing their fun years, to having to raise a child, but most had a choice of yes or no. So honestly (and to conclude this long post of mine, sorry if it seems offensive or all over the place lol) I'm on a 50/50 with this particular subject. I'm kinda okay with the fact that they're trying to show the realities of teen pregnancy and how it not only impacts them, but their loved ones as well. But at the same time, wither or not other teens will get that message is not by the media that is portraying it; but by the person. What are their views and what they think is right or wrong.