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The Comedians Club

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John Denver

Banned
    • 8,290
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    20
    Years
    what do you get when you cross a walrus and a cantelope?

    give up?

    give up?

    ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!!!

    *slips and falls on face*

    boo ya...
     

    Greed

    Banned
    • 2,943
    Posts
    20
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    • Seen Jul 7, 2008
    If goofy and Pluto are both dogs, then why does one walk on all fours and the other on two? ()O_o;;

    Weak joke, but I'll post more.. >_______<;;

    *gets killed falling knives*
     

    Soph

    Chasing Arcanine with a spoon XD
    • 1,278
    Posts
    20
    Years
    Dakota said:
    what do you get when you cross a walrus and a cantelope?

    give up?

    give up?

    ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!!!

    *slips and falls on face*

    boo ya...
    Click to expand...
    i know im not a member of this club i still have to post tho, just once...

    WAHOOO! DAKOTA IS BACK! NOW I CAN LAUGH AGAIN! no one has made me laugh much while Dakota was gone Dakota you have the funny gene in your system i would hate to see your future kids...

    *watches lots of little Dakota's runnn about*

    this place is dooommmeeed! get them ouuTTTTT!


    well anyways that was my long way of saying....GREAT TO SEE YOU BACK DAKOTA! WE HAVE OUR TOP COMEDIAN BACK, YIPPEEEE!
     

    John Denver

    Banned
    • 8,290
    Posts
    20
    Years
    Soph said:
    i know im not a member of this club i still have to post tho, just once...

    WAHOOO! DAKOTA IS BACK! NOW I CAN LAUGH AGAIN! no one has made me laugh much while Dakota was gone Dakota you have the funny gene in your system i would hate to see your future kids...

    *watches lots of little Dakota's runnn about*

    this place is dooommmeeed! get them ouuTTTTT!


    well anyways that was my long way of saying....GREAT TO SEE YOU BACK DAKOTA! WE HAVE OUR TOP COMEDIAN BACK, YIPPEEEE!
    Click to expand...

    *get's off his hizzle for shizzle*

    Why thank you very mucha soph...hehe...I like having an admierer...

    JOKE!

    What do Michael Jackson and Wal-Mart have in common?

    give up?

    give up?

    Boys Pants! Half off!

    *rated PG-13*

    BOO ya!
     

    Rift

    Let's Venture Onward!
    • 3,592
    Posts
    20
    Years
    Soph said:
    i know im not a member of this club i still have to post tho, just once...

    WAHOOO! DAKOTA IS BACK! NOW I CAN LAUGH AGAIN! no one has made me laugh much while Dakota was gone Dakota you have the funny gene in your system i would hate to see your future kids...

    *watches lots of little Dakota's runnn about*

    this place is dooommmeeed! get them ouuTTTTT!


    well anyways that was my long way of saying....GREAT TO SEE YOU BACK DAKOTA! WE HAVE OUR TOP COMEDIAN BACK, YIPPEEEE!
    Click to expand...
    *shrugs* okay fine Dakota and Austin can take their rightful place of the PC comedians...heck who was i kiddin...thinking I could actually be funny... :(
     

    Greed

    Banned
    • 2,943
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    • Seen Jul 7, 2008
    What are you thinking, Falcon?! You're hilarious! You're my fav comedian just like Dakota is!

    Please don't be so negative on yourself, :( I like you cus ur funny, hun!! *I can't believe I said that! XD* You're funny so don't be mean to me by saying you aren't!

    Bad Falcon! No cookies for you, aww, who am I kidding? >_<; *gives Falcon some cookies*

    *gets killed by unfunny people*
     

    Greed

    Banned
    • 2,943
    Posts
    20
    Years
    • Seen Jul 7, 2008
    BTW, This is a comedian's thread, so let me feed yall some idiot stuff O_o;;;

    Dumbest Lawsuits:

    ~*~*~*
    A Canadian man is suing a New York coffee shop after suffering what he calls damage to his manhood. His *dude thingy* was pinched between the toilet seat and bowl when he reached forward for toilet paper. He is asking for $1 million to compensate for his "dire and permanent" injuries. His wife is also suing for $500,000, claiming her husband cannot perform his marital duties.

    ~*~*~

    A man is suing a bank that he attempted to rob. After employees of the bank realized he was deaf, they were able to talk during the attempted robbery, which made it easy for them to stall the would-be robber until police arrived. The failed bank robber is suing the bank for discrimination.

    ~*~*~*

    17-year-old Ricky Higgins is suing his high school after he was kicked off the basketball team for driving drunk. He is suing for $100,000 and would like to be reinstated on the team. His lawyers claim that he is an alcoholic, and that his disability is covered under the Americans with Disabilities Act.

    ~*~*~

    I'll come up with more later! ^____^;;;

    *gets shot down*
     

    Rift

    Let's Venture Onward!
    • 3,592
    Posts
    20
    Years
    Sorry CaRtOON...i was having a real crumy day yesterday...well im feeling hyper again today! oh CaRtOON those were hilarious! :laugh:
     

    Sapphire

    :]
    • 944
    Posts
    20
    Years
    Scott! I cant beleive you even thought that! Youre the funniest person I know! you idiot! ^^ ( I care ) I cant think of a funny thing..hm...


    If you Lie. You Die.

    That...was random...
     

    John Denver

    Banned
    • 8,290
    Posts
    20
    Years
    *crashes in through ceiling*

    BAM! Well anyway, I heard this other funny crap...

    Why did the chicken cross the road?

    give up?

    give up?

    Because it freaking FELT LIKE IT!!

    *breathes heavily*

    Man, I gotta find some better material.

    Oh, this man once sued this old lady cause he was on her roof one night trying to steal her stuff when he falls through the roof and lands on some knives which cut open his knee. He won the suing thing to!

    man

    BOO ya!
     

    Rift

    Let's Venture Onward!
    • 3,592
    Posts
    20
    Years
    my little brother told me this one (its not that funny though)

    why did the chicken cross the road?





    cause KFC was on the other side!
     

    Greed

    Banned
    • 2,943
    Posts
    20
    Years
    • Seen Jul 7, 2008
    Falcon said:
    Sorry CaRtOON...i was having a real crumy day yesterday...well im feeling hyper again today! oh CaRtOON those were hilarious! :laugh:
    Click to expand...
    *Gives Falcon a bag of cookies* Good boy! You learned your lesson! ^-^ I'm glad u liked them, I'm not so funny at time >___<;;

    P.S. Those lawsuits ARE real! XD!

    More dumb Lawsuits:

    ~*~*~*~

    Carl Truman, 19, won $74,000 and medical expenses after he sued the neighbor who ran over his hand. His neighbor claimed that he did not realize Truman was stealing his hubcaps at the time.

    ~*~*~*~

    A man sued the city of San Diego for $5.4 million after he suffered emotional trauma at an Elton John concert in Municipal Stadium. The man says that a woman was using the men's urinal, a sight that he claims he found extremely upsetting.

    ~*~*~*~

    Robert Lee Brock, an inmate in Virginia, has filed a lawsuit against himself, claiming that he violated his own civil rights by getting arrested. He is suing for $5 million and is asking the state to pay, since he can't have an income in prison.

    That's it ^_^;

    For now!!!

    *gets killed savagely by amazons*
     

    Sapphire

    :]
    • 944
    Posts
    20
    Years
    Tell us now! Tell us now! ^^




    TOday we were playing a trivia game and my little sister read the answer instead of the question. she said "Washington Post." It was pretty funny...I think
     
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