There's a man out there that I really love, and he's the most amazing thing ever, but in all honesty, I want him to be happy.
I don't really have what I would call a dating life. I don't really date. I never really understood it. I like spending time with him but it's not a "date", it's an adventure where we go all over the place and talk and do things and be silly and tease each other.
It's awkward because he's in a transitional phase and it seems like he is trying to understand who would be best for him in terms of a relationship.
Even if he decides that I'm not the perfect fit, I love him, but I respect him too, and in the end, I want him to be happy, so I let him be. But he keeps getting closer and closer each time we hang out, and I know what he wants, and I don't think either of us are ready for it, but it gets very rushed, you know.
I only got to see him about 6-7 times last year but each time was amazing and wonderful, and I always reminisce them whenever I'm sad or lonely. I talk to him a lot too but it's just not the same as having him there.
I see myself as someone who is very dedicated to the right person who is able to work with my quirks and high level of maintenance with a high payoff for he who stays committed, but it's very difficult for someone to reach that point with me, since a lot of guys I'm around usually are more in it for themselves unfortunately. I guess that sort of "mutuality" comes with age and experience though, and there's plenty of women out there who would much rather be with someone like them, too.