The Pokemon Mary-Sue ABCs

[Act]

This general idea-- a poem for each letter of the alphabet that describes a certain sue-- can be credited to Irony-chan of fanfiction.net. Yes, I am in correspondence with her. If she at any point objects to this, I will immediately take it down. The rhymes themselves, I assure you, are entirely mine and any correspondance with her rhymes is purely by chance/subconcious.

That said, the posting of this has nothing to do with any arguments I've had over the past 12 hours. The completion of this with Billy's post is pure coincedence, and I sincerely apologize for any hurt feelings. I'm not a cruel person, I promise. I just take writing very seriously and happen to be over-opinionated.

That said, please do enjoy. It was fun to write, and it's to laugh at so go ahead and do :).

And do point out any errors :)

-----

A is for Ash
Who ten years from now
Will be buff and handsome
(Please don?t ask how)
And whether Misty or May
We know for sure
It?s his daughter?s turn now
For journeys galore

B is for Blaze
A charmander of legends
But he?s not one lizard
He?s more like seven
Or several hundred
It must be confusing
To be battling another
Which Blaze is losing?


C is for Clare
Who was walking one day
When an injured pokemon
Happened her way
She was elated at the very thought
Of having this pokemon without having fought
She ran it to the center, heedless of care
And had her license revoked when she arrived there

D is for Dana
A very strange trainer
Unlike the others
Everyone hates her
She runs away to change her fate
Along with a pokemon
(And without certification)
This painful girl will plague the nation

E is for Eevee
Who?s sick of this land
They?re sick of always being
At a sue?s right hand
When they come out
And see readers shudder
They could only wish they?d
Been born another

F is for Flora
A Rocket-made morph on the run
Whose name magically fits her sunflora blood
She?ll win over Rockets, doing her best
She?ll be loved by some people
Hated by the rest
Page after page, breath after breath
This fic will go on until the author?s death

G is for Geoff
Who finds it quite funny
That he can shove in his backpack
A years? worth of money
Some CDs, some scissors
The kitchen sink, too
I guess a U-Haul
Is coming with you

H is for Hannah
And she can?t keep quiet
An abusive trainer
Makes her riot
All this righteous talking
?Bout what not to do
Might make the reader
Want to run to the loo

I is for Inari
A new trainer, is she
Like, totally kawaii!
It?s a cross-culture spree
Complete with ?Konbonwa?
And even a ?Hai?
Hopefully, next
She?ll learn ?goodbye?

J is for Judy
Who knows she is great
Her fics are amazing
Out of five? An eight!
But when she uploads
Her latest Sue
She?ll be starting a war
After the first review

K is for Koby
The poor central guy
In one of those parodies
That burn out the eyes
No spelling or grammar
A poorly planned plight
Even satire has boundaries
Please, know how to fight

L is for Lena
Her starter, it?s true
Was none other than
You guessed it?mew!
With her fire-red eyes
Hair silver like a rhino
It?s weird to think
That the girl is albino

M is for Mew
Who begs you, please
Leave me to slumber
Do leave me at ease!
I?m not someone?s pet
Nor a happy little toy
With legendary powers
I?m built to destroy

N is for Nick
Who proudly destroys
Every bit of canon
He refuses to employ
Latios roams the streets
Dexter won?t be quiet
And as the pokemon talk
Reviewers riot

O is for Oliver
Who started out late
Yes, some years have passed
He?s now twenty-eight
The professor looks on
With a pitiful hunger
He has no idea
He?ll lose to those younger

P is for Pansy
With a flip of her hair
She has the guys drooling
And the author doesn?t care
She?ll prance around
An all her glory
This is, please remeber
A pokemon story

Q is for Quagsire
Who too has a complaint
He?s being wrote off
And is frankly ashamed
He?s a fine, good pokemon
Who?s immune to spark
Can everyone please stop
Leaving him in the dark?

R is for Ruby
The girl, not the game
Though according to her title,
They?re on in the same
She has her own chronicle
Many times over
And is forced to be
A forgotten holdover

S is for Steve
Who just got a power
That lets him become
A pokemon shower
One after the other
With very much ease
Who though that shape shifting
Was such a breeze?

T is for Tula
Who has some cool gear
It can hold so many ?mon
I can?t fit the numeral here
But it seems quite odd
With hardly four hundred found
You?d have some need
For that many pokemon around

U is for Uma
A militant shipper
Who flames anyone
Who doesn?t agree wit?er
Wrong pairing? Uh-oh!
Here she comes now
To deliver a much-dreaded
Annoying little pow

V is for Vulpix
Who is near going crazy
With how many authors
Are so incredibly lazy
This poor little fox
Is so tired out
When she see a vulpix
Even she wants to shout

W is for Walter
A cute little lad
Who?s been going to school
So he?s late a tad
But here I ask
Something I truly can?t get
How do you learn ?bout pokemon
When you don?t have one yet?

X is for Xandy
A growlithe of sorts
Who acts like a human
And one?s name he sports
A pokemon is not
A human in new skin
I?d say characterization is good
Going out on a whim

Y is for Yvonne
Who won?t catch rattata
The former?s too good
For the latter
No caterpie or birds
No nirdoran, it seems
One has to wonder
How this girl builds a team

Z is for Zach
And he can?t understand
Why he won?t win at gyms
And conquer the land
He joins Team Magma
Just to see
If anyone there
Has the same problems as he


​

 

[White_Winter_Wolf]

There pretty good. Some are a little of rythom but otherwise their really good. 9/10 for the whole thing.

 

[Act]

Thanks :) Would you mind telling me which ones you thought had worst meter? I knwo some were weird, and I'd like to fix them.

 

[White_Winter_Wolf]

W is for Walter
A cute little lad
Who?s been going to school
So he?s late a tad
But here I ask
Something I truly can?t get
How do you learn ?bout pokemon
When you don?t have one yet?

A is for Ash
Who ten years from now
Will be buff and handsome
(Please don?t ask how)
And whether Misty or May
We know for sure
It?s his daughter?s turn now
For journeys galore

The walter one made since but it was alittle of but in the Ash one you kinda get confusing.

 

[Strawberry Delcatty]

Wow. ANOTHER fan fic reference (and the most entertaining one too).

 

[Mario The World Champion]

Hey, this is pretty good. But, I have a question.

Was this whole thing made up because writers overly use these names all the time? I know I've seen Blaze pop up in a fic like... 200 times.

 

[Act]

Most of the names were random, but Blaze /was/ used because every charmander EVER is named Blaze.

 

[Mario The World Champion]

Well, either way, it's a great piece you made.

On the other hand, if I had a Charmander in a fic and I nicknamed it, it'd name it Inferno or Bic or Meltdown. A nickname that requires some thought.

 

[Act]

Thanks muchly ^^ Randomly, my charmander was Ignition XD

On topic, I'm glad you enjoyed it also, N.A. :)

 

[Lily]

LOL this is pretty original. It's true with the blaze, and when I got to the L, I started panicking. >_> You can probably imagine why. Almost every fic has Eevee, too, and some poor Mew being used as some legendary pet (even worse, for starters O.O).

These are priceless. Nice job. XD!!



Oh yeah, I named my Charmander Ryuu. o.,o

 

[Mario The World Champion]

I feel bad for Eevee now. But, what about the evolved versions of Eevee?

And Mew. Let's find it and send it on a trip to Hawaii. XD

But still... I'm kind of glad I don't use a lot of this stuff in my fics.

 

[JX Valentine]

*snorfle* This hit the spot. Every spot, that is. Well, almost every one. (What about the sister/some other female relative that popped out of thin air of Ash to accompany him for no real reason? And then, of course the "Yeah, she may be named after me, but that doesn't mean she's just me living out the dreams I can never have!" archetype?)

Still, amusing nonetheless. Poor Quagsire.

 

[Act]

And then, of course the "Yeah, she may be named after me, but that doesn't mean she's just me living out the dreams I can never have!" archetype?

Ah, that's what I should have done for Z. I think I'll change that.

I love quagsire XD

 

[Strawberry Delcatty]

You know, I THOUGHT about using Quagsire, but then it came to me that Whiscash was more or less suitable for a role in my current fic. I know Raichu's been all over the place, and I have a feeling Delcatty and Swellow are common too. Not 100% sure of Noctowl and Octillery, though...