Ayt here goes a wall of text.
Last month, I have been diagnosed with clinical depression (this isn't abt relationship, but it is relevant.) I have been taking medicine since then, but I admit that it is very hard. I've had attempts already for the past month, and it's getting worse and worse.
Now, remember the girl I was involved with during the past few months? Well, I told her this and I told her that as much as possible, she's the only one I really can count on for support since all my close friends have moved away and I'm 5-6 hours away from home. She was also scheduled to resign and transfer to a new work. Since there wasn't a label between the two of us, I told her that I need that label already. As a safeguard per se. An assurance that she will stick around no matter what and provide whatever emotional help I need. If I don't have that label, there's nothing stopping her from cutting off all communications from me once she transfers (new job is 2-3 hours away from me and it was very clear that she wasn't going to spend that time to go to me because of the traffic, the work hours, etc as if I will not be experiencing that everytime she wants me to go there. She also explicitly told me that she will get mad if she wants me there and I cannot go.) I needed that label, that we can tell the world that we are in a relationship and we are not just simply dating.
She told me she can't promise that. She can't even promise the emotional support once she leaves the company since she's far away and she's got stuff to do for her own life.
I decided to cut whatever relationship we had there and then since I don't want that toxic expectations staying in my life and it's the last thing I needed for me to heal. She told me she understands and is happy for me that I chose myself for the very first time.
It's been a week now. I'm trying to heal but I'm very very broken atm.
So, I made these relationship thread before since I'm very excited to share with you my happiness with her. Now, it's just sad.