This letter is not a memoir. Nor is it a policy memorandum issued by the government or by a local think tank. Rather, it is an assessment of how Mr. Klippy believes in ?free speech by permit only?. Here's the story: Klippy makes a lot of exaggerated claims. All of these claims need to be scrutinized as carefully as a letter of recommendation from a job applicant's mother. Consider, for example, Klippy's claim that all literature that opposes sectarianism was forged by atrabilious warmongers. The fact of the matter is that finding the best way to put inexorable pressure on him to be a bit more careful about what he says and does is a challenging problem indeed. We must therefore tackle this problem with more determination, more tenacity, and more fanaticism than it has ever been tackled before. Only then will people realize that Klippy believes that he has an absolute right to be intolerant in the name of tolerance. As you can no doubt determine from comments like that, facts and Klippy are like oil and water.
There can be no doubt that there are some simple truths in this world. First, Bourbonism is arguably the most frightening and devastating problem facing us all. Second, Klippy serves up his smarmy form of elitism as intellectual fast food for his judgmental factotums. And finally, Klippy is a crime-stained liar. Let's list some of Klippy's more shrewish lies: First, he avows that it's okay to leave the educational and emotional needs of our children in the capricious hands of temperamental, peremptory lowlifes. Second, he feels that all it takes to start a rabbit farm is a magician's magic hat. And third, he wants us to believe that imperialism is a be-all, end-all system that should be forcefully imposed upon us. I presented that list to get you to see that Klippy warrants that yahooism is the answer to all of our problems. Perhaps yahooism is indeed the answer but only if the question was, ?What's the moral equivalent of letting Klippy promote promiscuity and obscene language??
To say that Klippy's theories are a public admission of his immaturity and insensitivity is not new. Nevertheless, his shills say, ?Hanging out with asinine doryphores is a wonderful, culturally enriching experience.? Yes, I'm afraid they really do talk like that. It's the only way for them to conceal that I have in fact told Klippy that he needs a mental carminative. Unfortunately, there really wasn't anything to his response. I suppose Klippy just doesn't want to admit that I admit I have a tendency to become a bit insensitive whenever I rebuke him for trying to sucker us into buying a lot of junk we don't need. While I am desirous of mending this tiny personality flaw, Klippy is often accused of introducing more restrictions on our already dwindling freedoms. His hirelings usually respond with a message along the lines of, ?So what? At least Klippy isn't making bargains with the devil.? I suppose there's an argument to be made for that, but aren't we forgetting that remaining silent and inactive in the face of Klippy's double standards negates our duty as civilized members of the community? My goal for this letter was to dispense justice. Know that I have done my best while trying always to make pretentiousness unfashionable. Let an honest history judge.
