the stories of entarlaza

[yahiko]

this is my first so go easy on me with the grammer =)
The kingdom entarlaza

About the kingdom of entarlaza: in the northwest of the continent is is the eleven realms in the southern part of world are the imperial kingdom to the northeast is the orcish kingdom and in the southeast is the beastly isle
Part one the beginning: cc stands for celestial calendar and is what they us for dating now in this world there are four gods which came to this world years before cc began. These god are1. Dethingar which is the god of industry and work, 2. Deveana god of nature and peace, 3.dengar, god of war and death, 4.elvandegar god of beasts and fire. These 4 came to this world seeking peace beast's work and death. 3 of these four where brothers from the family of gar the two older brothers hated the younger one and the younger one hated the older ones after awhile they started to fight and every one including the one they loved went in different directions and formed these countries part2the kingdoms: the eleven people serve the god of nature deveana and there king of the realm tethgala. They are a prosperous nation of high elves dark elves wood elves night elves and blood elves. There capital is the city of trees in the southern part of there kingdom. They have a wonder called the tree of life in the great forest of the north. Then there is the kingdom of man the imperial kingdom which sever the god dethingar and there emperor edgarIII. They are the leading defenders of the human elf alliance which defend agents the orcish kingdom
And the beastly isle the imperial kingdom is prominent with human and also serves the dwarves and mountain men there capital of the empire is the city of entearall above the imperial bay. The third kingdom is the orcish horde a kingdom of beastly orcs that have no will but war they serve the god dengar and the chief ameen iron tooth there capital is the orcish stronghold they are the biggest kingdom do to raids tacking away the other countries land all the land they own I now dead and burning they are the biggest threat to the alliance. The third and last kingdom was a settlement of the empire until…..they found elvendegars tomb beneath the ground then a portal opened no one knows how but monsters of the worst kind arose and killed all the settlers and settled there that is the story of the beastly isle there capital is the great ruins which used to be the main city in the settlement as you mite know they serve the god elvendegar there king is a direct descendent of elvendegar his name is dethodegar a horrid twisted man that will wage war in revenge of his great grandfather. these are the four kingdoms of the world entarlaza.

 

[Trainer Kat]

Don't stress about what I'm about to do, I always do this for fanfics. xD;

About the kingdom of entarlaza:

"Kingdom of Entarlaza" is a proper noun, so it should be capitalized. :]

in the northwest of the continent is is the Eleven Realms, in the southern part of world is the Imperial Kingdom, to the northeast is the Orcish Kingdom, and in the southeast is the Beastly Isle.

You need punctuation here. I've filled it in for you, and fixed the capitalization errors. Also, you had "are", where it should be "is".

Part one the beginning:

This should be separated from the rest of the work, and should really read more like "Part One: The Beginning." No colon at the end of 'beginning'.

These god are Dethingar, the god of industry and work, Devean, god of nature and peace, Dengar, god of war and death, Elvandegar, god of beasts and fire.

These 4 came to this world seeking peace beast's work and death. 3 of these four

Try not to use numbers in a sentence, type out the word.


Your plot is good, but your writing needs a little bit of work. It's definitely not bad for your first try though. I'd recommend you get a beta-reader to look over future chapters. That way, they can find any grammatical or spelling errors and correct them. Good luck with this story. With a little work, it could be great. :]

 

[yahiko]

where can i get that i have three other stories i could use a grammer check

 

[Trainer Kat]

I usually get one of my friends to beta for me, but I'm sure you could ask in the fanfiction lounge and see if anyone there would be willing to proofread. :]

 

[ComoToon]

It's pretty good better than anything I could've done.