Trainer Chronicles

[Barkovitch]

[AGELIMIT]15+[/AGELIMIT]
THIS FICTION IS RATED 'PG-15' FOR VIOLENCE AND SWEARING THAT COMES IN LATER CHAPTERS

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN POKEMON OR ANY OF THE POKEMON IN THIS STORY, I ONLY OWN THE ORIGINAL TOWNS MADE UP BY ME AS WELL AS THE ORIGINAL CHARACTERS CREATED BY MYSELF

Chapter One

1


Te-chih. Te-chih. Te-chih. Te-CHIH.

Fred heard these cries, spilling out of the flames. The bright embers flew out. The long flames danced their intricate dance, and the smaller ones gave their own performance before dying out. Whispering. Dancing. Breathing. You never know how eerily amazing it is until you see a fire. Pallet's own library was slowly readying its collapse. Wood splintered, and the large crowd drawing stepped back.

Te-chah! SU-CHAH!

More violently, the flames spread onto the ground, eating up the grass that had taken so long to grow and become near perfect.

Having managed to get to the front of the crowd, for a horrible moment Fred saw his own awful, twisting image appear in the flames. He blinked. And Fire-Fred had left him, and after that he knew it hadn't been there at all. "Fire plays tricks on us," somebody near Fred told nobody in particular. It was likely something similar had happened to him.

Not even ten yet, and not what you'd call tall, Fred quickly found himself pushed around to the edge of the crowd. He saw nothing, only the smoke rising into the air. A flock of Pidgey, he saw with wide eyes, had scorched their fine brown feathers, and had flown into the air in a huff.

After a moment watching the stocky birds, reality set into him. This is dangerous, I want mom. I want dad. Need to get home. They will be worried. Won't they?

Te-chiha! Te-CHAH!

The building was finally beginning to collapse, and screams broke out. The police had finally managed to get the crowd to step away, but only after the building had began to fall. The few onlookers closeby jumped up and ran. It would have almost been funny if not for the circumstances.

No, Fred thought. Not funny.

His short legs carried him further than most would have thought possible, and he ran faster than he remembered ever before doing. For one ridiculous second he found himself wondering whether or not he had hung up his jacket after school.

Fred breathed a sigh of relief when he saw his house. In retrospect he almost laughed. For some reason he had thought his house, quite a safe distance away from the library, was also on fire. But of course it wasn't. Looking in, he saw his mother and father staring out the window, which desperately needed to be cleaned. The wind had carried dirt onto it, and dust rested near the bottom.

Smiling, Fred leaped up the steps. Another thing he never remember doing before, normally he got frightened of falling. After all, the steps were made of stone. Little things like that didn't matter anymore. Right now all that mattered was somehow never leaving the house again.

Until he turned ten, of course.

2

Several months later and several inches taller, Fred sat on the couch, his father on one side, his mother on the other. The local news had just informed Pallet that due to the town's budget becoming less, the rebuilding of the town library would be delayed for what they estimated to be another year. "Until then," the newsman said, flashing a smile of large, pearly white teeth, "be sure to take your family for a little trip down to Pallet Mall! All your shopping needs including books WILL be available for ONLY, and hear you this, ONLY twenty-two dollars and twenty-two cents for the August 22nd sale!"

Ignoring the latest of the increasingly lame 'bargains,' Fred looked to both sides when he saw his parents sharing a laugh. "The 22 thing wasn't that funny, was it?" Sometimes, he found, he didn't find the same things funny as his parents.

His dad laughed harder at that. As he began coughing ("Smoking's never a good idea," he told Fred repeatedly), his mother stepped in. She looked like a once attractive woman who had undergone various transformations in size. Loose skin hung off her arms, and her face seemed bony and permanently miserable, despite the fact that she was one of the few people that always seemed to be happy.

"Newsguy advertising the mall, Freddy-eddy." He groaned at her nickname- she had called him that since he was four. "Pallet Mall hasn't been popular since we were your age. They're using the library burning down to advertise it."

Fred realized it had been more of an angry laugh than anything.

Not letting the news distract him, he quickly sat still as the 6:30PM program came on. One of the most highly-rated shows, Trainer Talk was easily Fred's favorite show. The hosts traveled around Kanto, interviewing experienced trainers from Viridian to Cinnibar. Fred never missed it, and because he never missed it, his parents never missed it. With it being the only decent television in the house, they liked watching just about anything on it.

The opening was "over-stylish," Fred's father complained a lot. Fred had trouble disagreeing- the neon logo twisted, bent and morphed until it became 'Trainer Talk.' Then, the complete logo spun rapidly, decresing in size as the episode's area was shown. Then, the spot the small logo was popped, and the hosts came into sight. "They always look so out-of-place," his mother said at today's episode.

Again, Fred had trouble disagreeing. Jonny and Sandra were the hosts, and they both wore expensive outfits that stood out from the worn clothes the traveler's donned.

"TODAY!" The announcer boomed this, and then paused. "WE! ARE! AT! CEERRRULEAN!"

A grin escaped Fred- Cerulean was one of the family's favorite yearly vacation spots. Every time they found the time –and extra money—to go to Cerulean they loved it, and several times Fred heard his parents discussing plans to move there. In the end, though, they always decided that even living in an apartment in Cerulean would be too expensive.

Lost in his thoughts, Fred failed to see the hosts were already with the first trainer. Obviously caught off-guard, he had a small bit of ketchup on his lip, which he hastily wiped off with a dark green sleeve. He adjusted the large sombrero he wore, which was lopsided. "Woah! This is banging."

The trainer looked around fourteen, so he was obviously already experienced. That is, if he had, like most, went on his journey at age ten. Jonny flased a smile that reminded Fred of the newsman. "Woah indeed! This is Trainer Talk, and you are--?"

Momentarily lost for words, the trainer took a few deep breaths. "Erm, Parker."

His hand was already on his belt when Sandra belted out the next question. They never changed their format. "Parker, it is fabulous to meet you! Would you mind allowing the audience at home a chance to see your Pokemon?"

Parker coughed, uncomfortable. "To tell ya the truth, five of my Pokemon are at the Center right now, I just had a battle….I've got one." His expression had gone from star-shocked to disappointed, as if his fate were already chosen and he could only watch it.

"We would love to see your Pokemon!" Sandra.

"It would be great!" Jonny.

Parker soundlessly released it from his Pokeball. The bright red beam burnt into the ground, and a small form emerged. Fred immediately knew why Parker was uncomfortable, he himself had to hold back laughter. A Pidgey, not unlike the one's he had seen that day of the fire, hopped on the ground, sticking its talons int the dirt.

Jonny immediately knew that they had gotten an unlucky trainer. Still, Fred saw, he didn't seem to be allowed to quit just yet.

"And how long have you been training?"

Please let it be a few days. Please let it be a few days, Jonny must be thinking.

"Five years. I just turned fifteen a few weeks ago."

Sandra stepped in, and now she had a grim expression. "What plan could she have to save this interview?" Fred looked at his father, who was chuckling in anticipation of how she'd attempt to distract the audience from the Pidgey. "Serves them right for having this as a live show," his father added.

When Sandra spoke again, her tone was surprisingly somber. "Thank you for showing us your Pokemon, Parker. Now, I'd like to get to the topic of today's episode. A controversy that is upsetting hopeful trainers all around-"

Fred sat up straighter.

"- how do you feel about the trainer deaths that have been happening lately?"

Parker shook his head absently. He didn't know what she was talking about. "I, er, don't watch the news too often."

Sandra didn't seem distracted. Now, she faced the cameras directly. "The percentage of new trainers dying within five weeks of their town leave has rised 20 percent. As you viewers must know by now, this has caused the age of leave to change from ten to a record-breaking fifteen, in what trainers are calling the most ridiculous law change in recent histor—"

Fred got up soundlessly and went to his room.

 

[ProtrainerEon]

I just read part of this right when you put it up! Hahaha. Seems cool so far.

 

[Barkovitch]

Thanks for reading, ProtrainerEon! Glad that you like the story so far. Personally, I'm not the biggest fan of this chapter, and the reasons will be explained in my Author's Notes, which I hope to be up by tomorrow 5EST at the latest. This was also one of my shortest chapters, at I believe only 1500 words or so. Thanks for the post :)

 

[Barkovitch]

Hmm, only one review so far, but nearly forty views. To all those silently reading, thanks a lot for checking this one, hopefully you can review sometime! Here are the Episode Notes for Chapter 1 of "Trainer Chronciles." Hope you enjoy!

----

Author's Notes about Chapter One



Let me begin by starting, as a great man once said. This section will be for small background snippets- some could be considered important to the story, and some things are just small ideas that ended up being cut fairly quickly. The idea for this story, I'll tell you now, was much more violent when I originally had the idea, which originated through a dream; in no random order, here are the things about Chapter One that you may end up finding interesting, although I doubt it.

1) Guess what? Originally, "trainer deaths" weren't the reason at all for the age limit being raised. I knew that I wanted to make the Pokemon world as realistic as possible, and originally I think I may have taken that too far. You see, in the original first chapter (which I actually considered a Prologue- I debated whether or not to count this as an actual chapter for quite a while) trainer deaths had a part in why the age limit was raised, but it wasn't the main reason; you can probably guess what the reason was if you're old enough. To put it bluntly, after watching a few episodes of Dateline: To Catch a Predator, the idea that little kids could go out on a "journey" completely unsupervised freaked me out a little bit. In the original Prologue/First Chapter, I even had the beginning be a ten-year-old get abducted by a child molester, and this was going to be the entry into the age limit law. While it was still being roughly sketched out, though, I decided to cut that entire storyline out, although since Fred heard the news on a show for all ages, I don't think the whole "child abuser/abductor" thing went to a complete halt: it's still a presence, but not in this particular story. So, the reason I made them fifteen? Not because I live by that whole "only older kids for teh romance0rz!" thing that some writers like, but I have a sick, realistic way of seeing things.

2) After I cut out the plotline of "children aren't safe alone," I didn't go straight into the Chapter One you read. Hayull no. Originally, the first chapter was going to be much longer, and it would all recount the most memorable moments of Fred's young life before that fateful day watching television. I'd have him seeing a passing trainer with an Arcanine and being allowed to pet it; him at school learning about Pokemon and geography, and loads of other things I can't even remember. This all came from me, a pencil, and a piece of blank paper. Needless to say, this was all needless filler, and I think it was easily the right decision to cut that stuff out. It served no purpose to the plot, and I think it made Fred seem a little too unrealistic, and I already fear that in this chapter his personality might be a little dull. I could have expanded on it, yes, but I had one goal this chapter: get the age limit law passed, making Fred have to wait another five years. Sorry, Freddy-ole-boy, but you getting a personality needs to wait. They're overrated anyway, just ask any movie star.

3) The opening scene of the library burning down. You are probably wondering if this had any point in the slightest. And it does....but I'm not about to tell you.

4) Another 'realistic' thing I decided to do that eventually I cut was have Fred step on a dead Pidgey that had inhaled too much smoke and was burnt badly. I eventually thought that would probably scar Fred for life and end up putting him in an insane asylum, so instead I went for the much-less-exciting-but-still-kinda-fulfilling little bit where the flock of Pidgey get scorched and fly away to safety. Lucky pigeons should thank me and my kindness.

5) The last two sentences in '1' lead up to the rest of the story, in some ways. Fred nearly pisses himself in fright at the fire, but because he gets to be a trainer when he turns ten, he decides not to be afraid, because if he stays inside he won't get a Pokemon. Whoops! Thanks a lot, 20% increase, poor Fred's dream got ruined. If you haven't noticed yet, torturing this little kid is fun. It would have been fine and dandy to have him skip off to his little adventure at tens years, but ten chapters in (if that) I'd end up needing to have the rest of the story be his face on a milk carton because he's gone missing. Needless to say, I think I saved this imaginary bugger.

6) Enter '2'. And no, I have no idea if that period is in the right spot. I don't know if the scene where the TV guy announces the mall makes a lot of sense, really. I re-read the chapter about five times, and I just noticed now that 1) what would they have done for books during the time lapse between 1 and 2 and 2) why would the mall not be popular, and why would the library be popular? What is this, the Amish place from the Yankovic song? So, dear reviewers, let your minds fog up while reading this bit. Forgive the TV guy for the ramble of twenty-two. Forgive the citizens of Pallet for having no interest in malls. And if you can't do that, let me give a bad excuse and say that the Pallet Mall is a really, really bad mall. Which, asamatterofact, I could've done the first sentence. I just wasted your time and my time.

7) The TV show was a pain to write, but I tried to make it so that it would be a pain to watch if you had to. Let's face it, almost-ten-year-olds don't have the best taste in television. And as for Parker, he may or may not end up showing up again down the road....

8) With that vague hint that I may end up cutting, this is the end of my notes. I hope you had fun reading at least the episode, and if you actually got through this boring dribble of notes, I praise you. As you can see, a lot of chopping up went on in this Prologue/Chapter, and I hope you can at least appreciate the effort that I put into this, even if you completely hate the story. I don't know whether or not I'll have these notes at the end of every chapter-- it depends on whether or not I have much to say.

Thanks for reading!

As always,
Barkovitch

(Bonus Trivia: Originally, Fred's name was George. Anyone picking up the reference?)

 

[ProtrainerEon]

I finished the first post and read the notes. Both were funny. Great job, keep it up! The part about the Pidgey and weak trainer was hilarious. I felt bad for the people doing the live segment. LOL

 

[Barkovitch]

Thanks for the thoughts, ProtrainerEon! You posting again is much appreciated, and I'm happy the chapter didn't disappoint. I've got to tell you now, though, the story takes on a much more serious note later on, but I hope you'll still like that!

I still have to look over it and begin the notes, but Chapter 2 will probably be up today, and it's a big one!

 

[Barkovitch]

Chapter Two


-Five Years Later-


Walking along the dry dirt surface of the road for the thousandth time, he was ready. Fifteen for less than twenty-four hours, still light-headed from the events of the previous night. Right of passage, if you will. Fred kicked a rock gently, and the wind carried it further than he'd expected.

"This is it," he muttered to himself. And it was.

Last time seeing his parents for God knows how long.

Last time he had slept in his own bed.

Most likely, his last big birthday. The days would blend together soon enough, that's what all the trainers said. Nearly all were uneventful, but every trainer he had passed by in Pallet had said the same thing. "I don't regret a second of the journey. Pros outweigh the cons so much."

For now, why not believe them?

Thank the heavens Pallet is a small place, Fred thought. He had forgot an important rule in a Trainer's Guidebook. He'd worn his sneakers. I won't notice it for a while, but if I go uphill at all I'm screwed. After a few miles I'll be exhausted. Need to get some hiking boots at a general store.

Not entirely sure how his mind had wandered so quickly, he looked upward, trying to avoid the sun at the same time. There was the lab, close enough that he could see that the walls were in need of re-painting.

My hair is messy. The thought entered and left his mind faster than a heartbeat, and it managed to make him extremely nervous. Lifting a hand and patting the dark hair down, Fred tried to think of how he would look to Professor Oak. He'd dressed practically- a t-shirt hid under his green sweatshirt. Navy convertible pants. Hat. And, Fred mused, gloves that made him look extremely stupid, considering that he had no need of them at the moment. Sunglasses in front pocket- check.

"Ready, Fred? Let's go see Oak."

Fred had, of course, seen Samuel Oak often enough, considering they lived close together. But this time it was a whole different ballgame. Oak was giving him a Pokemon today. Can't screw that up.

One of his most useful birthday presents had been a Poketch, given to him by his parents. Simply a watch with a touch screen, the limited edition one doubled as a Pokedex. Bless technology, he thought. Full-on Pokedexes cost a bit too much for most, as Oak had stopped giving them free years ago. Poketch Company is full of geniuses, now people actually need this piece of trash.

He laughed quietly. His mind wandered again.

*

He wasn't aware of the mountains he was flying above. Surely he was not in Pallet? But there was Professor Oak, smiling and waving in front of his lab, so of course he was in Pallet. But that doesn't make sense, he told himself. He was surprised to discover that his thoughts seemed to echo out of his body.

"Doesn't make sense doesn't make sense doesn't make sense."

Stop it, bring me back. What am I on? It was the first logical thing he could think of, and the second after he had thought of it he found himself falling fast. A moment later he was on an orange dragon's back. Flames singed at his feet, but it felt more wonderful than painful.

"Charizard Charizard Charizard Charizard Charizard."

Again the words left his body as he thought of them. Strange thing was, he didn't remember thinking of those words. As he looked down, though, he saw what was surely Charizard. Somehow, Charizard was biting him.

"No stop no stop no stop no stop Charizard Charizard biting biting stop stop stop."

The pain left him, but so did Charizard. He felt himself falling once again. The mountains came into sharp focus, but the colors dimmed. Is this dying?

"Is this dying is this dying is this dying is this dyin-"

Large ropes caught him. Were they ropes? He couldn't tell, but they were beginning to put him down, and somehow the mountains now seemed miles away. Thank you ropes.

"Thank you ropes thank you ropes thank you ropes."

In a second he saw that they were not ropes, they were vines. Vaguely resembling a toad, Ivysaur dropped him onto its beginning-to-bloom flower. Breathing in the fumes was amazing. Smells do exist, don't they? He had no idea when he had began doubting that, but now he knew that sitting on Ivysaur would be fine. Just let me sleep.

"Just let me sleep just let me sleep just let me sleep just let me sleep just let me sleep."

No, where was Ivysaur and the smells? He glanced in front of him, and an opponent –he sensed it was an opponent, at least- stood in the shadows. A black outline surrounded him –her?- and a Pokeball released another shadowy shape. Fred was ready to command Ivysaur, tell it to use the smells to make the trainer go back inside it's Pokeball-

"Hydropump hydropumppump hydropump Hydro Pump Hydropump."

A giant jet of water flew out of what Fred presumed to be Ivysaur. I didn't know they could use Hydro Pump.

"-didn't know didn't know didn't know-"

But Ivysaur was now a large, bipedal tortoise. Two cannons went out of the brown shell. A fat blue face glared at the opponent, and Fred found himself right in the middle of the battle. Now Blastoise –was it Blastoise?- was a shadow as well. This isn't making sense.

"-nomakesense not making sensenotmaking sense not making sense."

He was falling to the mountains once again. How? No clue."

"-no clue no clue no clue no clue no clue no clue no clue no clue no clue noclue-"


Fred snapped out of the daydream, and found himself sweating. On the plus side, he saw that he had covered a lot of ground. Too much ground. Oak's lab was behind Fred now, and Oak –who apparently, judging by the dirt bags, had been gardening- was staring with a bewildered expression.

Grinning sheepishly and waving, Fred jogged to Oak.

"Happy fifteenth, Fred!"

Still trying to shake the starter-line dream out of his head, Fred flubbed several of his words during the introduction. He found, however, that he had managed to properly shake Oak's leathery –and dirty- hand. "So….er…..starter-I mean, I'm fifteen so, can I?- um, what I mean is can I get my starter now?"

Oak laughed. "Take a breath, boy! The starters'll still be there by the time we walk in. And by the time I find my damned coat."

"You lost it? Can we just go anyway?" Fred realized he had sounded rude, and mentally bit his tongue.

"Lost isn't a good word, and I'd prefer to not be bossed."

The infamous Oak rhyming. Fred cringed, and for the next forty-five minutes found himself wandering outside trying to find Oak's lab coat. Just when they were about to give up, one of the assistant's walked by with it folded in his hands. "Dat stain isn't coming out easy, Miztuh O."

His cheeks significantly more red than Fred had ever seen them, Oak gave a nervous laugh and led Fred to the back door of the lab. "Your mom already called and gave me your test results, so we can get right into giving you a starter. Have you decided yet?"

It was Fred's turn to get red in the face.

"Not quite."

Thankfully, Oak just laughed. Obviously this happens more than I'd expected. Go on, think of that day-dream, that had to have given me some hint of which Pokemon I want to end up with.

Oak was now holding the door open for Fred, who went to the back room- the lightbulbs were badly in need of changing, and the metal table where three bags –presumably filled to the brim with Pokeballs- had scratchmarks on it, as well as some spilled food. Fred was reminded vaguely of his great-uncle's house, which had had Meowth Mix littered everywhere. The smell had been much, much worse, though.

"Not a lot of trainers this time of the year...you're a bit young, aren't you? Most've already come and gone, so I let the place go to Hell just a bit." He smiled in a laugh-and-die kind of way. For some reason, Fred didn't feel nervous at all.

"Legally, I'm obliged to give this lecture. Just introducing the three first starters I pull out of the bag. About twenty years ago there was a case where a trainer, unfamilar with Charmander, tried training it underwater...results weren't very pretty, hear you me. After that, this place could be closed down if a trainer accidentally messes up something simple. I'm guessing that you already know all that I'm going to be telling you- I've seen you go to the library quite often the past few weeks, no doubt studying up. I wonder how lost you'd be if they hadn't finally gotten that thing rebuilt."

Fred nodded, absentmindedly.

"Boring you already? I'll try to save you a little and make this quick."

Oak laughed for a moment and then reached into each of the bags. The Pokeballs, unlike the room, seemed new and clean- no doubt Oak and his assistants tended to the starters carefully. The Pokeball was barely the size of a baby's hand, but when Oak pressed the button in the center, the red-and-white sides rotated for a moment, expanding. Fred saw, happily, that the Pokeball seemed a little smaller than a baseball: a perfect size to comfortably toss from his hand.

Lost in thoughts of his few years, as a little kid, playing baseball, he forgot to notice the red beams concentrating on the table before turning into semi-solid shapes.

"There's Squirtle," Oak said, interrupting Fred's concentration on the Pokemon to the right of what Oak was pointing at.

A small blue turtle with a shell on its back, even Fred had to admit Squirtle was cute. It still seemed to be a baby, and the innocence in its eyes didn't prove Fred wrong. "Only three weeks old, as a matter of fact. Very small, isn't it?" Oak seemed to have read Fred's expression for what it was: wonder. "Look what it's doing now."

At first Fred didn't know what Oak was talking about, but when he looked at Squirtle's round, small head he saw. Small foam was dripping down Squirtle's mouth. This Squirtle sneezed a lot, Fred saw, for when it did large bubbles came out of its mouth, as was happening now. "I think it's trying to impress you," Oak said, laughing. "It's trying to use Bubble, but it's not quite old enough for that yet, so it's foaming."

Fred laughed briefly, before turning to the next Pokemon. Likening it to a very small, orange dinosaur, Fred didn't even notice the trademark flame on its tail for a moment. Tired eyes looked down at him- Fred had the impression he had woken Charmander from a nap. "This one is the calmest Pokemon I've seen in years. I accidentally leaned on it's tail- and you surely know how sensitive they are to that- and Charmander didn't even try to bite me. Look, it's getting ready to sleep again, the fire on it's tail isn't so violent anymore."

Fred remembered the one lesson they had learned in class about Charmander. Apparently, their moods could be told from the way their flame looked. Big, they were mad. Small, they were either scared or calm. Fred couldn't think of anything it could be scared of, so he decided on the latter.

"Last but not least...." Oak said grandly, and turned Fred's attention to Bulbasaur.

A small toad with a bulb on its back, Fred immediately knew he was not interested at all in Bulbasaur. Possibly, it was the snarl that it had as it looked up at both Oak and Fred. Or the strange, mossy smell it carried around- not anything like that amazing scent Ivysaur had in Fred's daydream only a little bit before.

"Bulbasaur's the grass-type, Charmander's the fire-type, and Squirtle's the water-type." Oak kept glancing at the clock on the wall, no doubt realizing that picking a Pokemon took quite a lot of time.

"Have you decided yet?"

Fred wasn't sure: he knew it was either Squirtle or Charmander, but which one? And then he knew.

He glanced at Squirtle time and time again, and he knew that he already cared about it too much to let it battle. It was a baby, he wouldn't train it hard enough, he'd domesticate it. Charmander, on the other hand....sleepy Charmander could probably use the journey as much as Fred. I want to take Squirtle, but I know it is the wrong choice. Too innocent to fight, isn't it?






"I'll take Charmander, Professor Oak."

 

[Barkovitch]

Sorry for the delayed Author's Notes, readers! I've been hard at work on a new chapter and totally forgot to do these- again, my apologies! Here they are:

1) Here's a pretty major note on this chapter: originally, this was chapter four, NOT chapter two. The original chapter two was going to be a farewell party held in Fred's honor, and I actually got a decent chunk of this written before I decided it was waaayyy too lackluster and waaaayyy too unrelated to the main plot. A huge amount of it was repetitive, and it almost always followed this type of formula: Relative A gives Fred a present and then Relative B gives Fred another present. The only disappointing thing about cutting out that chapter, to me, was a fairly comical part where Fred's uncle sings a drunken song about "Frank" leaving for a journey, which took a while for me to make up. Other than that, you guys missed out on nothing. On the original third chapter, I am still debating whether or not I should have cut this one out. The entire one was Fred going to Oak's lab, but this time Oak requested that Fred help out in the fields taking care of Pokemon. Turns out, this was all an "initiation" ceremony held by Oak: if Fred had denied helping take care of Pokemon, he wouldn't have gotten one. Thankfully, in the chapter Fred accepts the offer to help feed/care for the Pokemon, and that leads to his getting a Pokemon. In the end, I decided that it was unrealistic that Oak would do this for EVERY SINGLE aspiring trainer, so I cut it.

2) The sneakers bit is just a reference to "The Long Walk," probably my favorite book ever (got my username from the antagonist)where one of the rules heavily suggests not wearing sneakers while doing The Long Walk. It's also there, of course, for "realistic" reasons: a little thing such as shoe choice can really affect how far you can get in a day.

3) The clothes are all practical things for hiking/walking long distances, which is why I included them. And, if you are so interested in the color of a fictional character's hair that you can't wait for confirmation in later chapters, Fred has black hair. Now off with you, legions of adoring fans.

4) Realism strikes again! The Pokedex not being included was something I had planned the whole time: I never saw how Oak could afford so many damn Pokedexes, which must cost a nice chunk of change. So instead of that, I had Fred have a Poketch with a miniature Pokedex included in the programming, although it's nowhere near as encyclopedic as a real one: I see this one as just having Pokemon descriptions (not even the attacks they have) and the Trainer I.D., which would really be part of the Poketch.

5) The daydream was really fun to write, since it actually came, moment to moment, from one of my own dreams that I had during the course of writing this chapter. How weird is that? It bot served as an unconventional way of showcasing the starters and their evolutions, and made for what I consider to be a dang cool scene.

6) Infamous Oak rhyming. This was for the lulz. Nuff said.

7) On all three starters and my train of thoughts for not (or for) picking them. Originally, I had Squirtle as the starter, but then I decided that I didn't want my favorite of the three in his team, due to possible preferential treatment. Then I went the radical opposite and decided to go with Bulbasaur, who still shared the badass-mofo traits that it has in the fic. Then I just went with the overused one Charmander, for of course the epic anti-lulz that would follow.



And those are my notes. Hope you liked them!

 

[Barkovitch]

Over a hundred views, wow! It seems like quite a few of you are checking out this fiction, and I'd be really grateful if you'd post a review or too! I'm going to keep up with this anyway, but some constructive critiscism (or, if I'm lucky, praise) would be much appreciated! Here's chapter three for those reading--

CHAPTER THREE



1

Fred figured he had been walking for roughly five miles.

He was surprised to find that he hadn't achieved a healthy collection of blisters....yet. Occasionally releasing Charmander so he could talk to something in order to keep his sanity, Fred realized the full extent of traveling alone. The large canteen he had brought was dangerously close to empty- for one instant he regretted not taking Squirtle and having a constant supply of water. After looking at his Pokeball he felt slightly ashamed, and even more thirsty than before.

Fred had pulled a protein bar from his pocket- and at the perfect time, as it was beginning to melt. He only took a few bites before releasing Charmander to have the rest.

"This is a protein bar. Good for energy," he told Charmander, who was looking at him with a confused expression. "Eat it, it's fine for Pokemon."

Holding out his hand, he allowed Charmander to sniff it warily for a moment, before greedily biting a large chunk of it- and nearly his finger as well. Charmander considered the food for a moment before swallowing, and its nod showed the bar must have been okay.

"I don't have any Pokemon food, just a whole bunch of sandwiches, those will hold us over....Viridian is the next major town, I'll pick up stuff from there."

Charmander ignored the light one-sided conversation, and curled up on the ground, surprising Fred.

"You want a break?.....can't blame you, I want one too. We can only stop for a bit, though. Clercy's a bit more than two miles away...the map just has it as a little speck, but hopefully it at least has a Center or a motel we can stay at. I'd just like to get there before night."

Feeling a breeze, Fred took off his green sweatshirt, and made a small blanket with it on the ground- hardly enough to sit him and Charmander, but it was better than having bugs get into your clothes.

"After today we're gonna train all the time," he told Charmander, who responded by gently blowing smoke from its mouth.

"I wonder if you can breathe fire yet...need to get some boots and some book on fire-types." He was speaking to himself now- he had given up the idea that Charmander was interested in what he had to say. Still, talking with something near him was oddly comforting. Talking alone would have seemed insane. "Insane," he said out loud. "That's the last thing I need people thinking of me, that I'm nuts."

Still, he laughed. "We're both crazy, aren't we?"

He found himself dozing off.


2

The dreams were pleasant enough, but when he woke up he had a bad feeling in the pit of his stomache. Fred gently poked Charmander, who got up readily enough. His Poketch, judging from the time, told him he had been sleeping only fifteen minutes. Not bad at all, and it explained his headache- he always got one after taking a quick nap.

A moment later they were back walking (or, in Charmander's case, resting inside its Pokeball) the road. Fred went quickly to make up for lost time, and didn't consider the rocks much; he very nearly tripped on them at least twice. What he definitely did not consider was a small bug-trap, common enough in the parks he had gone to as a kid. Still walking at a rapid place, his foot set off the trap, and a large net soon got revenge on his foot. "What the he-?"

He was interrupted by the bug-trapper, who had come from behind a large bush. Black and a little stocky, the guy looked around a year older than Fred. Dirt littered his face, and a pair of sunglasses covered his eyes.

"What do you think you're doing?" Getting into a fight with a bug catcher of all people...that, he had not expected.

"Er, sorry about that. Didn't mean to set off your trap, I just couldn't see it."

"Name is Dean...I suppose you're new, you look the type. Not a speck of dirt on you, no bug bites. And this is Pallet, after all. You are?"

Fred contemplated extending a hand, but then noticed Dean didn't look completely calm yet.

"You got a name, don'tcha?"

"Fred," he said, feeling anger build up at the kid. "And yes, I'm new to training. How long have you been doing it?"

"My training cherry got popped just a year ago, Fred. Come from Johto, bombed the League there, I did, so I've headed here. Just arrived, matter-o-fact, yesterday. Hitchhiked here, meaning to see Professor Oak, see if a foreigner needs to sign papers or anything to join the League."

A stupid, irrational thought popped into Fred's head. This was an experienced trainer, but he'd said he had done badly at the Johto League- bombed it, that had been the word-

"What do you think about, you know, a battle?"

Dean's laughter escaped immediately, and Fred could clearly see that Dean was embarassed. Cautiously adjusting his sunglasses, the Johto boy grinned uneasily. "Fred....you should probably start with someone a bit easier."

A line popped into Fred's head immediately, and it was terribly cliched: "You ain'ts chicken, are ya?"

Finding the willpower to keep silent, he put that thought into the wastebasket of his mind. "I probably should, but my starter is, um, a little lazy. If I got a real battle in, maybe it'll warm up to working and training. Besides, you haven't got anything to lose."

"Okay then –you asked for it-, but try not to feel too humiliated after I kick your ass," Dean said, and withdrew a Pokeball from his belt: Fred saw that he had three to one side, three on the other. Noticing him, Dean nodded. "I left three of my Pokemon in Johto with my folks. I've only got one on me now you've even got a chance against, so I'm usin' him."

"I've, uh, only got one." Fred wondered if he should follow the example the morning shows had set for him: I choose you! Attention, set, go! Spotlight is on yooouuuu!

Instead, Fred simply unclipped Charmander from his own belt and released him silently.

At first, a white glow simply shone, before it began to take shape; soon, Charmander came into full visibility. Yawning and looking tired (for, Fred noticed, absolutely no reason), the lizard was not a very impressive sight. The fire-lit tail wasn't much help; flickering, the flame was hardly the size of a candle's when someone was close to blowing it out.

Now Dean tossed his out.

The shape was bigger than Charmander, Fred saw- no, he corrected, just more muscular. Blue, leathery skin covered the elephant, and when it raised a short, stocky trunk, Fred saw harder red skin on the top. With closer examination, he saw the similar red marks on both of the ears, which seemed twice too big for the body. Steadying itself on small feet, Phanpy let out a high-pitched, slightly annoying sound from its trunk.

"How'd you get a Phanpy?"

"Slow one, aren't you? Come from Johto," he drew out Johto a bit, and Fred realized he had a very slight Southern accent, "this is a Johto breed. Youngest one I eva had."

"Oh, right."

Fred considered taking out his Poketch for information, but he realized that would most likely annoy Dean: and further his own budding reputation as a complete amateur. "Who attacks first?" He wasn't sure how that was decided, so he left the task on Dean.

"You can, I've never seen a Charmander in action before."

Fred gladly accepted the invitation; after all, getting an advantage in battle couldn't be bad. Charmander seemed to have finally readied itself for battle: the flame was still fairly small, but Charmander was swinging its tail back and forth now, at least. And the eyes. They alone said that Charmander was ready. Phanpy seemed less intense, but still hungry for a win.

Fred massaged his temples for a moment. "Charmander, do, um- fire won't do much. If Phanpy uses a ground-type attack we're screwed. Uh, Charmander, scratch it?"

He was only slightly aware that his command had come out as a question, but Charmander responded well. For the first time Fred noticed the long, pointy claws extending from Charmander's hands.

"Phanpy, stand your ground."

Fred was surprised at the command. Charmander was leaping toward Phanpy, rage in its eyes, and Phanpy was just standing there. "What're you getting at, Dean?"

"Keep reading the books, kid. Phanpy's skin is like a damned rock. No hurting that with a lil claw, boy."

Charmander had finally approached the baby elephant, and went to cut several scars into Phanpy's hide, to no avail. It was Charmander who screeched out in pain, and Fred saw that the claws had gone fairly dull in a short amount of time. A few minutes in and Charmander had already overworked. For once.

"Okay, so I can't scratch Phanpy and I can't use a fire attack."

Dean wasn't listening, which was clear when he shouted: "Rollout, Phanpy!"

Phanpy put its head down, and contorted its body in what painfully looked like a ball shape. Lifting its nose, Phanpy pushed off, and Fred was shocked at the speed. "Charmander, get out of the way! NOW!"

Charmander wasn't very quick, not yet. And every second Phanpy was gaining speed. When Phanpy took a sharp curve, almost slamming into a tree and sending dirt everywhere, Fred was positive it would lose balance and the attack would fail.

SLAM!

Charmander went flying up and hit the ground- hard. Two long, red gashes were on its stomache, where the most damage had been done. Charmander had dirt (and some mud) all over it by now.

Phanpy continued accelerating. Turned left. Circular motion for ten- fifteen- twenty seconds, another sharp turn and-

SLAM!

This time Charmander managed to hold its ground, but that seemed to hurt it more. Now Fred could swear he heard a slight crack!ing sound, but when he looked at Charmander walking, nothing seemed too hurt. No limp.

He vaguely wondered if he should forfeit- at least attack, he told himself. "Charmander, whack Phanpy with your tail, right between the eyes!" He knew it wasn't a graceful move –maybe not even legal- but he had no clue if Charmander could breathe fire yet.

Raising its tail, Charmander looked poised to attack next time Phanpy went by, and that moment was quickly approaching-

SLAM!

It had been disastrous. Phanpy had attempted to stop, Fred knew that. Charmander had attempted to, Fred presumed, hit the area between the eyes like he'd instructed, but the slowing had caught it off-guard.

And Phanpy had rolled over Charmander's tail.

The sound that escaped Charmander was like none Fred had ever heard. It seemed like a vaguely human scream, but much more primitive, and much higher-pitched. Charmander flicked its tail around several times, and for a moment it seemed to try to lick the area Phanpy had hit.

"Charmander, come back." Once Charmander was retrieved, and in a much quieter tone: "I'm sorry."

Dean seemed shaken up for a moment. "I've seen a ****-loada things like that, but never heard that sound before." As an afterthought: "Hope I didn't hurt him too bad."

Fred shook his head idly, not paying attention to Dean's words too much.

"You OK?"

Fred nodded, clipping Charmander's Pokeball back into his belt. "Just a bit...creeped out, I guess. That was my first Pokemon battle, and it wasn't really like what the edited TV versions show. More...violent, I guess is the word I'm looking for."

Dean nodded grimly. "Everyone goes through that, I think. First battle, that is. I know that ah did. Lost to a dang Pineco. Hear you me, you ain't never gonna forget seeing a wild Pokemon explode right in front of your eyes. They come back- just get burnt up real bad- but dayum. You never forget that sight."

Beginning to, he realized, get goosebumps, Fred tried to change the topic. "So, are you heading to Viridian?"

Dean nodded. "I'm hanging around here a bit longer after I visit the Professor, and I'm gonna stay at the Viridian Forest for awhile. Bugs, y'know. Word for the wise, though, hoss. You doin' the gyms?"

"Of course I'm doing the gyms." Fred didn't know why he had sounded injured. Or why he had taken some offense to that, even.

"I'd get me a type strong against ground and rock, then, If I was you. I need to check the brochures for what type the Viridian Gym runs on, but Brock's a rock trainer. Strong one at that."

"Maybe we'll see each other again, then?"

Dean laughed. "Hell yeah, buddy. We're bound to see each other at the League, ain't we?"

 

[ProtrainerEon]

Could you put up Fred's uncle's song please, if you still have it?

Now about the third chapter of "Trainer Chronicles" (That sounds so epic, but chronicles is overused. I don't blame you. Chronicles adds epic-ness to all stories. :D I have a Chronicles fic from wayyy back as well. Just go to my threads and you'll find it, if you're interested.)

So, about chapter three...

Not bad at all, and it explained his headache- he always got one after taking a quick nap.

A semicolon is the best way to deal with this, in my opinion. "headache; he"

Anyway, one of the big confusers here:

Sean went quickly to make up for lost time, and didn't consider the rocks much; he very nearly tripped on them at least twice.

Who's Sean?
--------------------------------------------------------------------
I liked this one. I've always hated that there were no black trainers in the series. I remember as a kid saying "where are all the other races?" I'm glad you didn't hesitate to test the waters with that one.

Dean's pretty strange in my opinion. You made it seem like he's this tough trainer who knows a decent amount of Pokemon-related stuff. He should be a good goal-marker for Fred, challenging him to get better so he doesn't have to hear Charmander scream like it did ever again.

lol, that was graphic and I even twitched as if I felt it when reading that.

Well so far you're doing good. I'm proud of you for trying hard to break out of the OT fic stereotype. I'll be sticking around to see where this goes, and keep up the nice writing style.

 

[Barkovitch]

Dang, I meant Fred. I have no clue where 'Sean' came from, haha.

I know Chronicles is overused, but I decided to do it for, of course, the lulz. And laziness prevented me from, you know, actually thinking of a good title. It also prevented me from catching mistakes like semicolons and randomly switching names.

Honestly, I never really thought about it when I made Dean black. I got a really vivid mental picture via dream of someone battling Fred, and that's where Dean came from, and in the dream he was black.

(I'll try to dig up his song, but I have no clue whether or not I still have it.)

 

[ProtrainerEon]

For some reason, the Squirtle in your story reminds me of my character Patrick's Cyndaquil. Maybe it's the innocence...I dunno.

Anyway, I hope to see more good work. I also hope you can find that song. :D

 

[Astinus]

This is a well-written fanfic. It actually does the work of explaining why there are older trainers starting out, rather than just "teenagers are moar mature for romance~!"

I enjoy the way that you narrate everything. It just brings the story more to life than basic narration. It's like watching things through Fred's eyes and getting it from his point of view, but his opinion isn't being mentioned. I dunno how to describe it. I just like it.

My favorite part has to be the dream from the second chapter. I loved the repeated words. It made it sound more creepier and mysterious, or something.

(Bonus Trivia: Originally, Fred's name was George. Anyone picking up the reference?)

I'm thinking something along the lines of a certain set of twins. =P Only Fred and George that I know of.

 

[Barkovitch]

Thanks a lot, Astinus! And not much of a shock, the Fred and George thing is right: you probably also picked up that I got Dean's name from the Harry Potter series as well. The names are weird simply because I'm not a huge fan of the series, but what can I say? The names stick with me. And thanks a lot for complimenting the daydream, I loved writing it!

 

[Barkovitch]

(Before I begin, I want to apologize for lack of author's notes and this chapter not coming as quickly as the rest. I've been really busy the past couple of days, and yesterday I had a 24-hour sickness, but I'm ready to get back on track now :) Just so you guys know, this is easily my favorite chapter of the first four, but it gets pretty violent- hope you guys like it as much as I do!)

CHAPTER FOUR

1

Fred had walked a bit more since his encounter with Dean, the trainer native to Johto. He was surprised to run into a small –and I mean small- town just seven miles from Pallet- although it had been listed on the map he'd purchased, he had completely forgotten about it. From what he could see, Clercy consisted of a few stores, some houses with broken windows, a gas station, and a motel- whose neon sign was only half-lit.

Heading toward the 'Clercy' sign, Fred was disappointed when he didn't see a Pokemon Center anywhere in sight. Sometimes even small towns had them, but no luck.

Several people were riding their bicycles, and were heading toward Fred. They looked to be only about twelve or thirteen, and had a glazed-over look in their eyes as they approached him. "Choo doin here?"

The one that had asked him wore a black shirt, and his speech was difficult to hear due to the massive amount of gum he was chewing. "Said whutcha doin here?" Gum repeated, causing the others to laugh. "Deaf arya?"

Fred only looked at them- he was short for his age, but if he took out his Pokeball they'd go away, wouldn't they? Then they'd know he was about three years their senior, and maybe respect would come into play. "My Charmander needs some care; I was in a battle a bit ago. Anyone in town who can help?"

"Ayuh, lossa people can. Heada that café, and buy summa this gum, fink its got tobacco in it." Gum chuckled, which was an ugly croaking sound. "We's offa t'bike. G'luck."

He waited until the cyclists were out of eyesight before he rolled his eyes. Then he wished he had brought a bike with him, when he saw how fast they had disappeared from his sight.

"Come on, Charmander. Let's get you healed," he said, although he was well aware that Charmander wouldn't be able to hear him from its Pokeball.

"Café was what he said. This town's not even half as big as Pallet, it shouldn't take long at all."

Fred wandered for twenty minutes when he made it to the town.


2

The café was, Fred saw with surprise, actually quite impressive. Heavy glass windows and doors sucked in the sunlight and made the inside sparkle and shine. He even saw that the café had a small garden in front of it. Although, most of the plants were dead, and the grass could barely be considered healthy-looking.

Hopefully that kid didn't lead me on and there really is someone who can help here.

He opened the tall, heavy doors and saw, with some relief, a few trainers huddled around one table in the corner of the room. Fred approached one of them –a tall, skinny kid- and asked if this was a spot to get his Pokemon healed. When the kid answered in the affirmative Fred breathed a sigh of relief and waited for the others to get treated.

He peered over, and saw that the nurse was an old, stout woman with dyed red hair. Botox had been her friend, and her face looked a little like a doll's, and emotion was impossible to read on it. This woman is going to help out my Charmander?

She was holding a Caterpie. The large green worm wobbled a little under her arm before finally calming down at the cooing of the nurse's voice. Taking something from the table she was at, the nurse sprayed a substance onto Caterpie, and the worm seemed immediately relieved. After at least five thanks from the trainer, Fred headed over and took out his Pokeball before releasing Charmander.

"Problem?" The nurse's voice reminded Fred of an old shopkeeper in Pallet, who had been a heavy smoker until the day she died.

"He's....hurt," he said lamely.

"Well, of course he's hurt, that's why you took him to be! Poisoned? Burnt? Not paralyzed, the thing's moving around like it needs a piss! Bladder infection, then!?"

Fred shook his head quickly as Charmander stopped fidgeting on the ground, panicked. "I was in a battle with a Phanpy, and Charmander got hurt pretty badly. It has a few cuts on it, but I don't know how serious."

The nurse glared at Fred. "No potions on yeh? Lazy sonofa- this Pokemon needs help, and I don't feel like bein your momma and helping you, but I will. Grab a few of those Potions in that box, no charge. Get outta my face. The only thing wrong with Charmander is the trainer having a rock for a brain. Not even having a Potion handy! HA!"


3

Feeling slightly ashamed even twenty minutes after he had tended to Charmander's wounds –and even after checking into the same motel he had looked at with slight disgust- Fred wandered along the streets of Clercy, not looking for anything in particular.

He caught sight of what he assumed to be the town's park- a few metal fences bordered off a decent-sized patch of living grass, at least. Children, he saw, were playing Frisbee in one corner, and an elderly couple walked hand-in-hand along an imaginary trail that only they could see.

He didn't see many wild Pokemon, and the few he did see were the ones typical of cities: Grimer, purple and goo-like, sulking near the shore. He saw the small cat Pokemon, Meowth, scratching at the gold coin on its forehead before pouncing on a rat and failing to get its meal of the day. Best place possible for training here, I suppose. Besides, Charmander could use the practice.

He quickly released Charmander, who seemed to have forgiven him for not catering to its wounds quickly enough. A small patch of fiery orange skin had a bruise on it, but Fred saw no damage that would hurt its battle performance. Still, no reason not to check.

"Are you feeling okay?"

Charmander nodded- smart fellow, already adapting to human behavior....or maybe it's always nodded.

"Good, because we've got a lot of training to do. I checked with a few people in town, and Viridian's got a ground-type gym. So that means two hard gyms in a row, pal. Now, even though it probably won't work any wonders in Viridian or Pewter Gym, I think we should probably start with the basic thing you need to know: fire attacks, and not from your tail, either. That might work in desperate situations, but we can't expect slamming a tail at an opponent to do us any good in a League battle...if we make it to the League, that is.

"I've got no clue how old you are, and seeing as you can't tell me...I'll need to call Professor Oak once we get to a Centre, I guess, if I can't figure out how to teach you fire-breathing on your own."

Charmander sat patiently during all of this, and as Fred finished speaking it stood up.

And took a breath of air.

The result? A small exhale of smoke, which had a slightly toxic smell.

"Okay, that confirms you can't breathe fire yet, I suppose...how am I supposed to teach you?" Fred threw his head back, fairly dramatically, before letting out a low chuckle.

Finally, he just clapped his hands together in defeat. "So you probably can't breathe fire until you develop your...what did the teachers call it? Until you develop your fire pouch or something, and after that all I should have to teach you is how to tame fire that you breathe out and how to use it for attacking.

"Until then, how about we just focus on even more basic things?"

What resulted as forty five minutes of Charmander sharpening its claws on a rock, jogging with Fred, and running into trees. Occasionally Fred had Charmander, mid-run, leap and slam its tail into the tree. However, after a few leaves caught on fire and the bark began smelling funky, Fred put that to a quick halt, lest get kicked out by a few people who were eyeing him wearily.

As Charmander was still doing small sprints (Fred had tired, and was watching while leaning against the fence) he contemplated what other Pokemon would be good for his team. A water Pokemon was good to have- no, a water type was a must. For practical sake it should be land-capable, not a Goldeen or –Fred chuckled quietly- a Magikarp. When his mind drifted back to that Squirtle from Oak's lab he quickly stopped thinking of new Pokemon- water Pokemon, at least.

He found himself simply enjoying the scenery. Although, there wasn't much scenery to look at. After a while, he found that he was beginning to doze into "daydream land," as his mom called it.

From the corner of his eyes, he saw a purple-and-white shape slide under the fence. For a moment he thought the rat would get crushed, but the Rattata's skeleton almost seemed to get temporarily crushed. The two whiskers on each side of its face moved slightly, and Fred almost didn't realize that the creature –ears perked up- was edging toward Charmander, who had finally stopped exercising after being sure Fred wasn't looking. Lazy as ever, Fred mused, but this was more in jest than anything. Surprising as it is, Charmander's been surprising me. If it's actually interested, Charmander's a pretty hard worker.

It was only after Rattata had revealed large, pointy teeth that Fred became alarmed for Charmander's safety.


4

Rattata was thin, just like a lot living in human-infested areas; however, the purple hair was sleek, and when it moved, Fred knew Rattata was speedy and agile.

For the moment, Charmander seemed fairly oblivious to the Pokemon that was rapidly approaching him, and was curled up, ready to

(please get up it'll attack you you've got to hurt it)

take a brief nap, from what Fred could see.

The flame on its tail was more of an ember now than anything, and Rattata was moving quietly. Fred knew that he should shout something out, a warning to Charmander, but he couldn't bring himself to make a noise. He quickly noticed that he seemed paralyzed from the head down, and couldn't even retrieve an empty Pokeball from his bag. Fred had no clue why he was so afraid- it was a little rat, that was all.

(it's a little rat that'll attack Charmander and slash its face don't let it bleed)

Fred could only watch in shock as the Rattata finally caught Charmander's attention.

The flame cracked and sang a faint song in Fred's mind, and expanded to a greater size than Fred remembered seeing before. Eyes narrowed, Charmander's instincts took over, and the battle was on.

Still unable to move or speak, Fred tried to shake the mental barrier he had created off. Let me help it battle, he told himself, let me be a good trainer. I lost to Dean, but I can beat Rattata. Just let me, Fred, please just let me help Charmander win. I can help it.

The mental prodding did nothing.

He could only watch.

Rattata was baring its sharp teeth together, and a hiss escaped the mouth. Charmander released a growl, and the two met eyes and locked on to each other's gaze. Fred was mesmerized, wondering if all battles against wild Pokemon would be this intense. Television doesn't show you this side of things. Charmander looks ready to rip out Rattata's throat, and Rattata looks like it wants to do something even worse.

Fearing for Charmander's safety, Fred willed himself to finally move, and the shout he had expecting to release came out as a whisper, so soft he could barely hear himself.

Rattata leaped.

"Dodg----!"

Before the command could escape his lips, Charmander was sent flying back, Rattata leaping back as if the blow to Charmander's stomach had hurt itself. The recoil lasted only a few seconds, however. Rattata was back running full-speed once again, as Charmander dizzily got to its feet.

"Swing your tai---"

Too slow.

Again.

This time, Fred closed his eyes once he heard the scraping of teeth against something. When he opened them, Charmander had a gash on its stomach, and the wound was oozing out dark bursts of blood every few seconds.

A moan of defeat came from Charmander---

Another scratch, this one to the right arm. Fred saw it was not bleeding. Charmander was now walking slowly, as if its head weighed far too much. The steps were sluggish, and Fred was afraid it would fall down.

Rattata was advancing once again, and Fred felt himself freezing once again.

Now beginning to speed up.

The rat was now a quick blur of purple, just as it had been before the other blows

(it's gonna bleed more don't let it die please don't get hurt)

and Fred was shocked and amazed to see Charmander swing its tail full-throttle. The sound that came when the heavy tail hit Rattata's side came in a th-crack!, and Fred didn't immediately believe it had happened. Not until Charmander was scratching deep wounds into Rattata.

(oh my God Charmander is going to kill it oh no.)

He was disgusted when he found a perverse amusement in the fight, now one-sided. Burnt marks were heavy where the flame had hit Rattata's side. The small rat's eyes were closed in pain, and revenge kept flashing through Fred's mind-

"STOP!"

Charmander looked up, shocked.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING TO IT? GET OFF OF IT, NOW! YOU'RE HURTING IT!"

Fred was shocked to hear the pure terror that escaped along with his shout, and several heads turned to the part of the park he was located in.

Fred leaned down and dug into the bag he was carrying around for a second, finding an empty Pokeball after a moment's searching. A moment later, he had made his first capture.

Knowing that he was a few seconds from tears---

"Return, Charmander."

 

[ProtrainerEon]

I. Errors

Aww that was so sad...

I read it all, and I'm quite pleased. I found a few word mess-ups, such as when he was trying to shout and said "dodg-". You wrote expecting instead of expected. Nothing big that could ruin the chapter's quality, which is good. You've gotta watch for that while writing.

II. Story/Characters

The main thing here was mild misuse of words, but other than that it was a decent read. I didn't get bored, you kept my interest. Yes, I said it. My interest! Do you have any idea how hard that is???!!!!

Dang, Charmander just can't seem to get a break can it?

I like how you're developing Charamander's hidden character and potential underneath that lazy exterior. I can't wait to see it as a Charizard! *snore, grills nearby weak Pokemon w/o lifting a finger while sleeping* lol

----------------------------------------------------------
III: Battle Scene

This was like a Pokemon Battling: Behind the Scenes! or a Pokemon reality show that shows all the gore and danger of Pokemon (Battling, electricity, body slams, etc. lol) Y'know, that's a really good idea. I just may sit down and write that.

Scripted TV: The Pokemon Reality Show!

Episode 1: A REAL Onix Tackle!

(LOL buildings falling huge craters rofl ioefjidfhkadlf XD)

Okay, I'm done for now. If you want a more in-depth analysis, ask. You'll get one (if I'm in the mood. I'll make sure to get around to it. I sit on my lazy butt-in front of comp-all day anyway lol)

 

[Disco]

Just found this fic and finished reading what's up so far....I'm really enjoying it! Everything flows really well. I'm just having a hard time discerning a real personality in Fred, but maybe I'm just used to over-the-top OC personalities or something XD

Mistake-wise, I've only noticed one small typo myself (like a "b" instead of a "t" or something), which I'll post if I see again...

 

[ProtrainerEon]

When does the next chapter come out? This story is good and I'd like to see more.

 

[Astinus]

Caught up reading the last chapter. And I thank you for being behind in posting so I could get that chance!

Firstly, before I forget, I found one mistake.

(Fred had tired, and was watching while leaning against the fence)

That "had" should be a "was".

Now, I'm going to go ahead and say that my favorite part of the chapter is Fred's thoughts during the battle against Rattata. It really made it stand out with the way that it was written. Great job there.

Also have to praise you on placing more reality in your story, what with the real wounds in battles and the characters of Clercy. Especially the rude nurse. xP

 

[Barkovitch]

Guys, I can't express how sorry I am that this is happening, but I've got to stop this story: I have absolutely no time. There are some family troubles going on right now. I really, really, really wanted to do this, because I do like this fic a lot, but for now I've got to put this on a hiatus so I can get my personal life straightened out. If I ever have time, dont doubt me when I say I will return to this fic, because trust me: writing this post sucked, because I really, really wanted to finish this thing. But alas, it's not to be.

As always, thanks for reading,
Barkovitch