vs rotom

[pokemonash]

This is something i have been working on for a long time enjoy part 2 should be up in a few days

"Name: Demelza, Age: 14. Leagues beaten: Kanto Johto Hoenn Sinnoh."
"Hmm she sounds like a good assistant." In Sandgem town Professor Rowan was looking over info for Demelza, she was a young girl, aged 14 – she loved myths and legend since way back. He was looking for some one to help him, and this young girl sounded just like what he needed.
Professor Rowan had started to look at Pokémon myths and legends and Demalza seemed the perfect person to help him.
Demelza was walking about in Eterna forest looking for the Old Chateau that was at the edge of the forest. She had her Jolteon with her (its nickname was Jolt). Jolt hated to be in a pokéball; when it was young, it was put in a pokéball and put in a lake; demelza had saved it and made sure it was never put in a pokéball again. Demelza soon made it to the chateau - it was still light. Demelza had come looking for a Rotom. She had been told Rotom liked to play in the chateau; and with it being on the way to her next gym match, she was sure to take a look. It had took most of the day for her and jolt to find out just where in Eterna forest the chateau was. But she could now just about see the top of this big old chateau. Demelza got to the chateau for about 5pm, she had been told this was the kind of time rotom showed up. She just came in through the door and it seemed that the chateau was a bit of a maze. There were six rooms to look in, including the dining room. It would take a long time, so Demelza let one of her Pokemon out to help. "Go Aisu!" Aisu was a well trained Weavile and was the best to help look for Rotom. Demelza took Jolt with her, and Weavile left to look in the other rooms. The first thing Demelza saw was a TV… it was turned on. "Odd." Demelza said, more to herself then to Jolt. Jolt had backed out the room - the turned on television was starting to get him nervous. Demelza didn't see that Jolt had left her and went to look at the mysterious TV, when she took a closer look a Rotom appeared to be inside. "Come on out." Demelza said in a soft way. The Rotom was not so gentle and started to attack Jolt and Demelza. Demelza rolled out the way of a thundershock. "that was a close one!" she said with a little laugh. This was all fun to her, more then any thing, it did feel good to be back in this kind of stuff. Demelza sent her Jolteon in to fight it. With the only attack it had used being thundershock it had seemed safe, but then came the big shock - it started to use a lot of different type moves, the first was blizzard, second hydro pump; and then on to overheat, leaf storm, and air slash.
The thought of this hit Demalza hard, with not being sure what type it was, she told Jolt to use thunder, but it only seemed to give Rotom more power. Jolt became weaker with recoil. "Maybe its a electric type but how could it use fire moves and the rest?" Jolt, by this time, was too weak to keep a fight up and Demelza had to switch it out as fast as she could. She called Weavile. She knew the risk of another overheat was high, but she had to get Jolteon safe. "Weavile, ice punch now!" called Demelza as she backed out the room a little, but not so much that Rotom would start to attack her and Jolteon. Wevile hit hard but it did not seem to do much to Rotom. This made Aisu mad! It was one of Demelza's best Pokémon and it did not want to let her down. After 20 ice punches Demelza had got out of the room and Weavile had some how gotten Rotom to back down a little. Demelza called Aisu and they both made it out along with Jolt. Now the only thing she could do was work out what to do next time..

 

[pokemonash]

part 2 enjoy

...Demelza had made it to the Pokémon Center in Eterna city. It was dark and had become cold the past hours walk to the city; but even when Demelza had gotton to the Pokemon Center and had a room for the night; she started to find it hard to sleep. She had enjoyed the battle with Rotom. For her it was like old times when she had first met a mew and made friends with it. By the time the clock had hit five in the morning, Demelza was still up and working out what to do. Jolt and Aisu had been asleep for hours, and that was good if she had to fight with Rotom again. By nine Demelza had left eterna city to set out for the chateau again. She had worked out that Rotom liked to use a lot of types of moves to attack with, but didnt seem to use them that well - like when Aisu was out, it didnt use overheat like it could have done. By the time Demelza had gotten to the chateau it was time for lunch, she could have sat in the chateau but it seemed a lot safer out in the forest. Demalza let out her 6 Pokemon: Jolt, Aisu, Lucario, Charizard, Dragonite and Aipom. She had to pick out three Pokemon to use in the chateau, and three for later. Demalza chose three of her best Pokemon - Jolt Aisu and Lucario. When she got back inside the chateau she let aisu lead. Demalza had been going around Eterna Forest for a few hours and had worked out that Rotom was a Ghost and Electric type Pokemon, so one Night Slash from Aisu should knock it out, she thought. Demelza only wanted to know why Rotom liked the chateau and what it did. It seemed only way to make friends with rotom was to beat it in battle. Demalza was back in the room with the television, it was not on so Demelza took her time to look around the room a bit see what else was in there. She found a few old children's books, maths homework (this she put away fast as she had always hated maths) and a few child's toys. It seemed safe to say this was a children's play room so maybe Rotom was young and seen every thing as a game, but the things Demelza had been told it should be old... A few hours later she was about to give up, when rotom finally showed itself. "You're late!" said Demelza as she looked at her watch, not having a lot of sleep the night before she was not her best for this fight, but she sent in Aisu anyway "Aisu Night Slash now!" she told her Pokemon, Rotom responded using Thunderbolt. Rotom seemed to know nothing about how types work and took a hard hit from Aisu, Rotom was about to clash again when a sound made both Rotom and Demelza stop. A laugh and a sneer from a ghostly apparition. "What on earth was that? a ghost? But what could it have been?" Demelza had never been one to run away from spirits and lore but this was scary and had gotton right to her. "Jolt!?" she called but no answer came back. She looked around. Jolt had mysteriously vanished without a trace, and Weavile was growing in fear with anticipation of what might of happened to his beloved friend Jolteon...

 

[BUG♥CATCHER★BREEZE]

First review! =D If you can call it a review. I'd call it some simple writing help.

Okay, I'm just going to entrust you with a really useful tip that I recently got, press Enter twice after each paragraph. See this:

She found a few old children's books, maths homework (this she put away fast as she had always hated maths) and a few child's toys. It seemed safe to say this was a children's play room so maybe Rotom was young and seen every thing as a game, but the things Demelza had been told it should be old...

A few hours later she was about to give up, when rotom finally showed itself.

"You're late!" said Demelza as she looked at her watch, not having a lot of sleep the night before she was not her best for this fight, but she sent in Aisu anyway.

"Aisu Night Slash now!" she told her Pokemon, Rotom responded using Thunderbolt.

Doesn't it look better? Always press Enter twice before someone talks.

Well, the sentences need a bit of breaking up (they went on a bit), and a little proofreading for some typos (mainly capital letters at the start of sentences) that I spotted.

>D And add some more description. Almost everyone (including myself. No, especially myself). Is the mansion eerie? Are the toys dusty and old? Or mint? What was Blizzard attack like? etc.? Good luck. :D

 

[pokemonash]

thanks i will have a look see what i can do:)