Palamon
Silence is Purple
- 8,169
- Posts
- 15
- Years
- Age 27
- he/him
- Snezhnaya, Teyvat.
- Online now
I don't know if I've talked about this before, but I'm sure I have. What do I want in a girlfriend/this girl being my partner? That's...a difficult question. But, what I want in a girl: I want her to love me, body and soul, for who I am, as I am my soul, not my body, but my soul. Who doesn't want a love like that? I know that's the kind of love I want. Of course, in return, I'd love her, for who she is, body and soul. Maybe that sounds like a hefty requirement for love, no? Well, that's what I want out of love. I don't think I'll ever find a girl like that.
If I do, I'd marry her. But, it's too early for all that. I still think I'm too young for love. Hell, I don't even understand it. I don't even know what love is. That sounds like manga, but I really don't. It's such a complex feeling and I can't grasp it. All I know is that love is apparently warm and not all pink. I also know love is something people fight for. Fictional or not. I also know that love these days is so much different...I don't understand it. Nor do I have any grasp on what it is. If I knew, I'd probably give it away frivolously.
And if I ever find that girl, I don't know, maybe I will. Maybe, one day, I'll find my soul mate. But need I remind you, my parents are homophobic. Or more like, insulting of that stuff. So, if I have a girlfriend, I'll never tell my parents. I'll keep it a secret, and to be honest, I'm sure if I told them, they'd force me to dump her. ...Ouch.
Oh, and when I was confused, I once asked mom if I could be bi. She responded. "No you're not. You're straight." Yeahhhhhhhh...no, sorry mom. I'm not straight. I like my own gender. I won't let you try to think I'm straight.
But, you know? It's not like anyone will ever love me anyway. I'm not good enough for anyone, I can't do anything right. And I'm so weird. Why would anyone want me as their girlfriend. That's right. I knew that from the beginning, but I still wouldn't mind having one. It's not like I'll get one anytime soon, though. I'm not even ready. I don't understand love, and I'm pretty sure all my suitors aren't even in my state.
Ah, well. It was a nice thought.
If I do, I'd marry her. But, it's too early for all that. I still think I'm too young for love. Hell, I don't even understand it. I don't even know what love is. That sounds like manga, but I really don't. It's such a complex feeling and I can't grasp it. All I know is that love is apparently warm and not all pink. I also know love is something people fight for. Fictional or not. I also know that love these days is so much different...I don't understand it. Nor do I have any grasp on what it is. If I knew, I'd probably give it away frivolously.
And if I ever find that girl, I don't know, maybe I will. Maybe, one day, I'll find my soul mate. But need I remind you, my parents are homophobic. Or more like, insulting of that stuff. So, if I have a girlfriend, I'll never tell my parents. I'll keep it a secret, and to be honest, I'm sure if I told them, they'd force me to dump her. ...Ouch.
Oh, and when I was confused, I once asked mom if I could be bi. She responded. "No you're not. You're straight." Yeahhhhhhhh...no, sorry mom. I'm not straight. I like my own gender. I won't let you try to think I'm straight.
But, you know? It's not like anyone will ever love me anyway. I'm not good enough for anyone, I can't do anything right. And I'm so weird. Why would anyone want me as their girlfriend. That's right. I knew that from the beginning, but I still wouldn't mind having one. It's not like I'll get one anytime soon, though. I'm not even ready. I don't understand love, and I'm pretty sure all my suitors aren't even in my state.
Ah, well. It was a nice thought.