When someone doesn't reply to a VM...

[Nihilego]

how do you feel, and what's your first assumption as to why they didn't reply? How good are you at replying to your VMs?

Bonus question! Do you think staff should make more of an effort to reply to VMs than members?

 

[Sydian]

Ummm that they're busy or forgot? I don't really care too much. I get lazy and forget sometimes also. But I do try to make an effort to reply to all the VMs I get. And uhhh I guess it's important for mods to reply idk. We're kinda role models and all that crap so it'd suck if we didn't reply. Just don't throw a hissy fit about it if we don't. We have lives. Also, it's hard to reply to stupid VMs, mod or not. I'm just saying.

 

[Oryx]

It depends on the VM honestly. I've had VMs where the person replied and I can't even remember what I sent them to begin with because I cared so little, but on the other hand I also sat and waited impatiently for hours checking if someone got online so they could reply to my VM, lol. I'm much worse than everyone I talk to though, I'm almost always the one that kills the conversation because I feel that the conversation dying is preferable to me replying with something they can't reply to, etc.

I think the VMs that require a reply all the time are question VMs. There's really no excuse for staff to leave a question unanswered, even if they don't know they could find out or say they don't know/suggest who to ask, lol. Regular message VMs are iffy, I feel we should reply but sometimes I don't because I just have no idea what to say to the person so I guess I don't hold that belief very strongly hahaha. I do believe that every staff member should have VMs on though. That's one belief I do hold strongly.

 

[-Jared-]

It only makes me feel bad if I send multiple VMs to the same person and they don't respond at all. But even then I am more likely to assume they are busy and just miss mine, than to assume they have something against me, lol. That would be kinda narcissistic to assume other wise. :P

As for staff, the only VMs they SHOULD respond to are question ones. It's, you know, their job to help members around the forum, so they HAVE to answer questions, imo. Non question VMs though, they can treat with whatever importance they want.

 

[Ayselipera]

"THEIR LOSS."

I reply to all my vms unless there is literally nothing to say back or I forget. Considering I don't really get any it's not that hard. I think staff should reply if it's a vm asking something about their section otherwise no.

 

[Hybrid Trainer]

The majority of the time I'll be thinking that they either missed it or don't something about me and are ignoring my message. To avoid being annoying if it's one of the reasons I think I'll wait a suitable amount of time before messaging them again, long enough for them to have forgotten about my other message but not so long that I forget about it. Then if I don't get a reply again I'll just assume that they don't like me and won't try to start a conversation with them again.

I don't think that all staff members should have to reply to all VMs they get but I do think that they should reply to most of them. Of course they should have to reply to all question VMs because if they don't then their not doing their job but as for just general VMs that are trying to stir up a conversation I think that they should reply to the majority of them. I think that as they are higher up than regular members they should try and set an example and promote general kindness to other members which includes replying to messages. Sure if you don't like a person after they've sent a few messages then don't reply to them but at least show that you gave them a chance.

 

[Saryka]

One of the following usually goes through my head:

• THEY HATE ME
• Maybe they're busy?
• They're so popular, they probably just didn't see mine in their sea of VMs
• Have I pissed them off recently?
• They randomly fell of the face of PC
• I CAN SEE YOU'RE ONLINE WHY WON'T YOU ANSWER
• They have a life outside of this forum
• Oh god the conversation's getting boring isn't it
• Damn it I'm a conversation killer

Realistically, it's either because there's nothing else to say or because they're probably busy. But I'm pretty self-conscious lmao. I try my best to reply to all my VMs, though.

And the staff shouldn't be obligated to reply to every single VM. They probs get a lot of them and I honestly wouldn't be answering them all if I were staff, just sayin'. But I mean, making some sort of an effort to reply to as many as possible would be nice.

 

[Shining Raichu]

I VM bobandbill sometimes and he never replies. Each and every time the blow to my self-esteem is so great that it makes me want to kill myself.

As for staff, yeah I think a lot of them should make more effort than they tend to at the moment because a lot of them are really bad with it lol - but then again, everybody is different and has different levels of socialness that they adhere to. As for whether they should make more of an effort than members, no I don't think so. I think everybody should make the effort to talk to each other!

 

[Mercurybro]

Every waking moment I monitor these forums for VMs.

I expect a reply from every single VM that I send to someone within 30 minutes if they're online, and 1 hour if they're offline. If I don't, I will constantly wrack my brain with the memory of it until I end up posting another VM asking the person for a reply. I do this every 12 hours until they send a VM back to me. If they don't send a VM back to me after 3 times of me sending these inquiries, I delete the VMs from that person on my profile and move on with my life. It's a very efficient system that I have developed after using similar messaging systems on other places in the internet for the past 6 or 7 years.

This is definitely an interesting topic to talk about. I would think that staff on these forums are able to reply to reasonable VMs from members within 3 calendar days as well. If they are able to do that, I applaud them for their hard efforts at keeping our conversations current until it has died.

 

[Sheep]

If I get no reply I usually assume they're like me: forget to reply, lazy, or just don't have time. In my case it's usually the first two lol. Never a big deal to me, especially since I'm the type of person who's known to put off VMs/PMs (mostly the former) for days or even weeks. :P

As for the bonus, I think it depends on what's being asked. If a user is asking a question about the forum in general or about the section the mod is in charge of, yes, I do believe they need to reply as soon as they can. If it's casual chit-chat they can take their time. :3

 

[Hikamaru]

Yeah, I don't like it when someone doesn't respond to VMs I send to them.

I usually try and contact TylerSymes a lot but sometimes he doesn't respond...

 

[TwiDragon]

I like talking to people, but if they don't want to talk to me; its all good.

Besides, I normally try to track down the person on skyp or msn/yahoo.

It only bothers me when its related to graphics stuff, that really bothers me.

 

[Shining Raichu]

Yeah, I don't like it when someone doesn't respond to VMs I send to them.

I usually try and contact TylerSymes a lot but sometimes he doesn't respond...

Aaaaaa OK everybody lets not use this thread to call out other specific members. I'm sorry, this was my fault, I was joking with what I said about bobandbill in my post but it still set a bad example lol. Bad Andy.

But yeah, just for future reference.

 

[PlatinumDude]

Yeah, I tend to feel bad when people don't reply to my VMs. As much as I hate to admit it, I tend to PM those who don't reply back (I really should cut down on doing that) to remind them.

And I do feel guilty about not replying back to VMs because I either forget or don't know what to say.

 

[TwilightBlade]

If/when I notice someone who didn't reply to my VM and I talk to them on a regular basis elsewhere anyway, I may playfully remind them to go respond. If they're not responding to me, I assume they're busy, click-and-forget, maaaybe losing interest, etc. I really don't mind if someone, mod or not, doesn't respond to my VM because...

I'm sooo terrible at responding to my VMs myself. Idk how, but I am in like 35+ conversations right now. I can only respond to about 10 in a row before I wanna do something else. Then, those members reply to me on the same day. Old VMs are pushed away. I won't see the old VMs until I feel like bulldozing all of my notifications.

Staff should totally make a good effort to answer questions, or at least guide the member to the appropriate thread/forum. However, conversational VMs are usually low priority. If you get a response from me within a month, everything is still okay! :P

 

[Nick]

I don't give a single ****. There are worst things in the world than someone I don't know not replying to a VM I left them. I disabled my VMs a few days ago so I don't need to worry about replying to people who are trying to kiss my ass and become my friend (especially since a) I already have all the friends I want here and b) if I'm interested in becoming someone else's friend, I'll take the time and start a conversation with them elsewhere) just because I'm an smod in VMs. Do I think staff should make more of an effort to reply to VMs than members? No.

 

[Sammi]

Someone didn't reply to my VM? It's probably because I took over a week to reply! I'm really bad about checking them. I'm interested in talking with people, but lazy at the same time.
Either that, or I assume the conversation died, or I somehow forgot to reply. Some people just don't ever reply. It's not a big deal at all.

Staff members should reply to question VMs -- but as someone who doesn't check theirs as often as they should, I maintain that questions should be sent over PM instead. (I actually check those when I get them!) As for casual conversations, whatever. I can't judge, considering how long it takes me to reply to mine. :(

 

[Melinda]

I usually take a long time to reply to VMs myself. If someone doesn't reply right away or at all I don't mind. :P

 

[Myungsoo]

Either they forgot or they're busy. I really don't mind if it's the latter, really. I can't say much because I'll look at a VM and try to conjuncture up a reply for it, and eventually forget that I didn't to reply to it.

 

[mondays suck]

I rarely even write VMs, so I don't know that issue too well.
When I don't reply to a VM, there are multiple possible reasons:
- I simply can't think of a good response, in a real-life-conversation a period of awkward silence would follow rather than the mysterious silence of a VM conversation.
- the VM was something like "I like your username", I hate these.
- Sometimes I won't just be unable to think of a good response, sometimes there is just nothing to add.

Overall, there are probably more VMs I will not reply to than VMs I will reply to.