JX Valentine

Damn. I wanted to make your profile have an entire page of me.

You should be happy to know that I don't think you were smoking something when you mentioned that book. The reason that I know a book like that exists is because...I have it. Well, my mum bought it, and it's still sitting out on a bookshelf.

The 90's were awesome. I miss those years.

And 1978 was also awesome, because that was when Space Invaders came out. And I have the DS version now, and I'm imagining that that's what they play up in Battle School. Even in the year 2135, the graphics stay the same, and Andy has to blow up little pixelated aliens.

(And I left for work at this point, and came back to finish this.)

It'll be a long time before I can actually ever post pictures of my Sims. I have to get my resource post up first, then I need to organize all my pictures, because they are all in one folder in a random order. ;_; And I have a lot.

Andand, you get these rants because they are on my mind.

First, I hate Tuesdays. Tuesdays are old people day at my work, so there are many many senile old people looking for their 5% discount. And they take forever to shop. And one of them smells like pee, like really strong pee, because he pees in the store. And I always try to hide in the back docking deck when he's there.

Second, I hate how I can't find gloves to fit me. Medium gloves are too small. Large gloves are too big. I have long thin fingers, so medium gloves are too short for me, while large gloves are too wide for me. So I'm like, stuck when it comes to gloves. Which is why in the wintertime, I don't wear any. ><

Yeah. That's right. I have good fingers. 8P

Edit: TEEHEETEEHEE. YOU HAVE 69 FRIENDS. DIRTY!

Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey...about that thing in the Lounge you posted. I did write something up, but upon looking at it, I realized that my writing has gone the way of Card. (Describe things? Never!) I could clean it up a bit once I have more information. Like how long; is it just that scene we're writing; when does it take place in the story. I could also be a very helpful person and look over your massive amounts of description and see if I can help you out that way.

Actually you would have to learn to dodge random things that I can buy at my work. There's really weird things in there, so much so that we have a section called the "WTF" section where we sell garlic-scented shampoo. And hair mayonnaise. And...like foamy hair product that bounces.

On reading that poem, I think what the reviewer picked up on was the "picked me up" line and the "hands so strong", so obviously women can't pick a person up or have strong hands. What this means is that I'm obviously a man. (AHHH! Someone cut it off!!!) Or that in a male/male relationship, one man can't pick up the other. (Poor Angel. He thought he was gay.)

It also means that Card is a woman, if the book Enchantment has anything to say.

I can now picture Card singing "Natural Woman" while wearing a dress. Argh. D:

Shall we collaborate on a Jerry Springer/Maury crossover with Andy, Angel, and Bill? 8D They would first go on Maury where Andy tries to figure out who his baby daddy is, then they fly to Jerry Springer where the fist fights happen. And then they go on the Steve Wilkos show, where Steve tries to fix everything, because it's Steve. And we all know about men named Steve!

As for ! Unown, now we know why they look more annoyed then regular Unown. They've seen things they shouldn't have seen, and then tell the other Unown, which explains their wide-eyed look.

Speaking of LJ, padding out your friends list? Is that why you ninja-added my Sims/fandom journal? Or is it because you want to see Puck/Oberon Sim slash? Or is it my Feffiroff avatar? Or do you just don't want to be lonely?

Or is because you like my body, and you think I'm sexy, and you want to let me know that you really need me, so just reach out and touch me. 8D

New title! ;3

Why did it seem like you took forever to respond? o________o

Oh. Right. Andy causes time warps.

I found this to be pretty funny. So, is it wrong for women to write from the point of view of a man? Or how insulting is it for us to write about these little fictional creatures! Oh Xanthine, have mercy on mah soul, for I have offended the Pokemon I write about! And Andy! How will I ever get into heaven now?!

Oooo...then someone could write bible slash about us! Bible femmeslash!

Of course, the Graff = Feeny comparison makes me imagine Graff calling Andy "Mr. Wiggin" all the time, and that amuses me only because "Mr. Wiggin" is the greatest thing I have ever heard. It never fails to make me laugh until I die.

Oh man. If Bill and Andy ever figure out the whole sex thing (yeah right), then Andy can go on Maury after he shoots out his assbabies because he doesn't know who the father is! But if the kids are intelligent, then that obviously means that they are Bill's. XD I mean, Andy and Angel's kids were setting each other on fire. FOR THE LULZ.

As for us and sex, a peanut M&M just fell into my pants. ;D And I was going to say "your pants" instead of heaven up there.

*strips* 8D

Haha nice icon.

You gotta make the interesting conversations happen. Or just hang out with people who have stapler sex. Or...me. Haha.

Eu quero você. Eu guero fazer amor com você. Posso te dar um beijo? Você quer uma massagem? É bom ter senso de humor.

Mais forte! Mais devagar! MAIS FORTE!!

...Foi uma loucura. Posso dormir aqui?

*bows* You're welcome. And now I have no idea what I was going to say...

Excuse me, if you have someone wanking at you, call the police. I mean, send me the lolz. And you are God because you inspire people. Read the other VMs on your profile, even though it's rather difficult to take your eyes away from my sexiness.

Here's the Hatrack thread I was talking about. As for the "Oh, I think I'm rather dead right now"...that kinda sums up Andy right there. "Oh, I think I keel over dead now. This looks like a good place to do so." *lies down in comfortable position and waits for death. "Oh, I hope they won't mind that I decided to die before I got them their drink of water. I'm sure they'll forgive me. I'm a lovable ol' chap."

Wtf. Andy's gone British!

Actually, Angel doesn't mind if things get messy. He's the one farting over the dinner plates. I have a funny picture from my first Andy/Angel Sims where Andy's about to give birth to his second set of ass babies. He's whining and complaining while Angel, not wanting to be left out, twists around and lets out a few farts to show that things also come out of his ass too.

Novinha is pronounced "no-VEEN-ya"; Olhado is "ol-YAH-doe"; and Jakt is "yahkt". 8D

And since you are cold... *snuggles to share excess body heat* It's the clichéd plot line for porn fics!

why do you keep looking at my profile making me guilty? D:

Apparently, you are God! (Not "Dod", like I typo'd, and oh man. I keep typoing and Ender is laughing at me. :< ) Or one of those inspirational people. Like that Asian minister that I find on some random channel in the wee hours of the morning. But not as excited, with the PRAISE BE TO THE LORD! Only in more caps. Like caps in real life.

The sad thing is that I'm not tired. o_O I'm just being myself. Like, drunk, only not drunk. Since I had the almost uncontrollable urge to yell "SQUIRTLE SQUIRT!" repeatedly while running around my store.

Um...yeah. idgi

Oh! I finally checked Hatrack to be amused by Card, and there's yet another topic about something screwy in Card's canon. When asked about it, Card answered, "The character didn't necessarily know he was still alive. :3" And I'm like, "Card, get over it. Your ability to uphold your own canon sucks." Card really needs to place a large neon pink and green sparkly banner on his site that says "I broke it! <3" because there are always so many topics about how wrong he was from one book to the other.

Then I read how people think that Andy is "smart", and I'm wondering if they see him in the same light I do. Then I remember that I'm the only one with a Sim version of Andy. Who, you know, wanders around at night in the dead of winter wearing only his pajamas. And who thinks that exercising is more important than going to the bathroom.

I really need to post pictures. XD; I have over 500 pictures of the moron.

Whoo. Yeah. And he flies around on the "Good Ship Lollipop". >>

I went to go get a copy of Xenocide and knocked over a quarter of my Enderverse collection off the shelf because that book has another pronunciation guide in it, which is not why it knocked over the books, it's just because I have way too many. And Quim is pronounced "keeng", which means that I was close, but was pronouncing the "m" wrong. >< And I find it funny that it has to be explained how to pronounce "Novinha". Her name is awesome. 8D

...I took time out of playing with my gay little Sims to talk to you. ;-; I was going to build them a nice new house, because they need five bedrooms. XD;

*deep breath* I'M FOREVER YOURS...FAITHFULLY!

*goes to shoot hamster*

That's awesome! If you've been doing this for so long, I'd like to read one of your fics! Name of one of them?

Thank you! You've definitely inspired me. The only way I would do a "journey" fic is if I could make it a manga sort of thing haha. I've noticed that many of the new journey fics don't last more than one or two chapters anyway. They're always the same. Thank you once again though, I really appreciated that last message.

It's definitely motivated me to do something different with any fic I write. I don't wanna do the typical (my name is - - and I'm starting my journey today). I have so many questions about your Midsummer Knights fic haha.

Well then, I've read up to where your Midsummer Knights fic ends (have you written any more?). All I can say is "Wow." That was truly amazing. I'm not sure what to say about it, besides the fact that I just spent two days at work reading it. Incredible. An extremely moving story with a fantastic plot and believable characters. I don't know what else to say! Haha.

Woh you have quite a few friends on here.But thanks for telling me about the Manga Fox.Now I can checkout the real Pokemon mangas, thanks.

Haha I try to, but I always end up scrapping anything I write. I think I always try just a bit too hard. I'll come up with a good idea, start to think about it, then come across a story like yours haha. Then all of a sudden it's like damn..how could mine be as good as something like that. I try to do too much with my fics.

Oh, I'm sure they've all read it with hands in their pants, but then realized that you were telling them how to review. Then they passed on the word so that no one else would be disappointed...and limp. This is why the review guide's views haven't risen in large amounts for a while. Shame. Perhaps, however, I can solve that problem by randomly changing the title to things that make no sense.

While it is true that homogenized men are more clean, they are sometimes frightening to the younger eye. When I first saw the epilogue of Adventure 02, Takeru's mullet/shag/wtf haircut scared me. Enough so that it took me many years afterward to pair his son with Ender. And then I couldn't watch that epilogue without laughing!

Oh dear gods...I just found out that Takeru has rainbows in his writing office. Rainbows on his computer screen, rainbows for his book covers...and no keyboard for his computer. o_o How does he type?!

Oh wait. Bizarre time warp pairing in my mind: thirty-six-year-old Andy and thirty-six-year-old Takeru. I don't even want to get into how that works. But they can be homogenized together! <3

Sometimes, it scares me that I didn't see the Taito when I watched Digimon. Of course I couldn't be normal!

Oh, you know you love me more drugged up. But it's me being normal that I'm more willing to be kinky. Because right now, in between both forms, I have a headache.

Out of curiosity, how do you pronounce Achilles French-style?
Ah-SHEEL

And don't feel bad. It took me many many years to finally pronounce "Quim" correctly. I'm still not sure if I'm pronouncing it right or if my accent's off.

MY MILK IZ PASTEURIZED YAY!

Disclaimer: I just ate a bag of nachos and a jar of salsa. I must either plan yaoi, or explode in flames. 8D

I also enjoy the fact that your thread is the only one with the crazy title. Everything else is normal, and then your thread appears. And I'm sure everyone is like "zomgwut is that?" and then they click and realize that it is...um. You know, I have no idea where I was going with this. I was writing this, and then found Digimon Adventure 02 screencaps, and one of them showed Takeru all tied up, and then my mind went to dirty places. Except now I have to lust after the thirty-six-year-old version of Takeru from the epilogue, since I'm an adult. Now I wonder what's up with my love of men who are thirty-six and possibly on the homogenized side, except just a little for Takeru because he has feminine tastes when it comes to decorating. He has a little teacup on his desk, and flowers everywhere.

*looks at above paragraph* The sad thing is that I'm feeling better. Which goes to prove that normal!Asty is more insane than nosleep!stuffed-up!wantstodie!Asty.

I can't read the name Bonzo in any other way now. It's always the Spanish way for me now. Same with Achilles, a character from the Shadow series. The name is pronounced in the French way in the books, and my mind always reads it like that now. So if someone wants to talk to me about the Greek Achilles, they are so out of luck because I'll be confused.

Card had five kids. Two have died. But I am always freaked out about the fact that in Card's books, the kids always go through horrible things, and then when they are adult, they sit around and...plant potatoes that are laced with random hormones that when they eat them, the males get pregnant. *gestures wildly to Andy*

I still think Card is trying to get into that author cult that you thought of. He thinks that SMeyer, Rice, and Pao-pao are so big and important, so if he follows what they do, then he can join the cult! So he writes about humans being married to aliens, wanks when people don't like his "gays are icky!" spiels, and has an obsession with dragons.

Oh baby. You get me so hot and bothered with your dairy terms. *fapfap*

By the way (why talking about milk leads me to this, I dunno), that digitalrewind community I told you about before started Digimon Adventure 02 today, so...hot Jyou can now be easily downloaded for your hot-Jyou needs! (And it is very sad that I'm counting down the days until the epilogue of 02 can be shown, so I can relive the memories I had before I corrupted Takeru's poor son. ;__; )

To not detract from the awesomeness of my last VM, I shall respond to the longer thing and the thing and the pretty nice lady...borsh.

I'm surprised that Game or "Game" didn't have Andy and clowns involved someway. Then again, around the same time that Card was writing the "Giant's Drink" chapter, he planned or wrote a short story that was particularly horrible when it came to being "nice to characters under the age of twelve". I think that age is the limit for Card being evil towards his characters, because once Andy turned thirteen, it was more "let's write relationships between two young kids who are emotionally unstable".

You know, that other short story I mentioned started as a self-insert...

Oh man, now that I think about it, Card's like a bad fic writer. XD That's the best thing I've heard. Though my mind is rather stuffy still. But it does hold true. I mean, he starts wank, has fan-things go out and defend him instead of defending himself, writes self-insert...

I love the fact that **** is censored out. Now I can't tell you that the milk we sell at my store is homogenized without the forums being worried that they might catch "teh gay".

EDIT: Ah...so you can't say ****, but you can say homogenized. XD

I did it.

Get out of my fandom. You make my fandom look stupid. It's not FOR you.

And now I'm snort-giggling over the idea of a little male Combee flying around bringing wank and lurking on 4chan. Combee make everything special!

This needs to be shared.

Quick response: Old wank is old. Real old.

Sorry. =(