Alphimega Quest (Remake)

Occ:By the way new RPers RP lines are at least 4 lines long

OOC: That rule can be avoided on certain occasions But I agree, post a bit longer, try being more descriptive or your posts will loose quality anyway.

Ic: "Hey don't forget me!!!!" a familiar voice shouted from afar... A tall and slim girl rushed up the dock panting..."Sorry to keep all of you waiting.." Her Sneasal was clinging on to her as usual... Suddenly she added in..." Oops! I forgot to introduce myself... My name is Nicole..."

OOC: Better, but you still haven't said who you're introducing yourself to. Also, you should use the 'Edit' button to change your posts rather than writing a new post.

IC:

"Hmm?" Cid lifted his eyes at the noise, noticing that a slim girl accompanied by a Sneasel was adressing somebody "I wasn't aware that we were waiting for someone." he stated honestly, "Anyway, I'm Cid Woodland. These are Curly" he gestured towards the Ralts who gave a small wave in greeting "and Jaws."

The Totodile eyed the newcomer suspiciously from the shoulder of his trainer, a spot which he had climbed onto a moment before.

"Nice to meet you Nicole." Cid said, extending a hand in greeting.

OCC:kk... thank 4 ur advice... Btw do you have any idea how to make trainer's cards?

IC: " Nice to meet you too" she replied smiling sweetly.... She stretched out her hand reluctantly and returned the gesture...(is that how it was supposed to be phrased?). She released her Eevee and exclaimed " C'mon, meet your new friends..." Her shy Eevee hid behind its bushy tail..." this is Sylvia and Corrine..." she continued, pointing towards her Sneasal then her Eevee.

OOC: For T-Cards check the Art Gallery section, there are a lot of people taking requests as well as supplies and tutorials for making your own. And take out that 'btw' from the IC part of your post, m'kay?

IC:

Cid nodded, watching how his pok?mon would react to the new ones. Curly seemed to have absorbed some of the Eevee's shyness and leapt back to Cid with a timid cry, and Jaws eyed the duo threatheningly, teeth barred. There obviously wasn't going to be much in the way of social interactions between them at the moment.

"Well." Cid said after a while in which the tension didn't ease, "If you'll excuse me, I think I've got some things to do on this ship. See you around!" He gathered his pok?mon and equipment and went to explore the ship, hoping that Curly would calm down a bit when there weren't so many others present.

OCC: Thanks... You wasn't as bad as i thought you were... Btw I tink that compared to yours... my story is totally lame... But guess you can't expect much from a 11 yr old girl? Do you mind givin mi more comments on what i rite?

IC: " Me too... I wonder if they have a gym(as in for excercising) around... I think I lack some workout..." she replied. " See you around..." as she ran off... Corrine stared at Jaws for a moment before following Nicole and Sylvia off.

Nicole glued her eyes to the directory moving her fingers around.. Suddenly her eyes glowed..."Hey! There's a gym on the 3rd floor.... Cool!!!!..." she exclaimed.

OOC: Likewise. ^_^
As for the story part, I'm not quite sure what you mean seeing as the RP itself is the story and it has just started out. But for the writing, I'd say the first thing to do is to decide on what kind of personality your pok?mon have. (E.g. Jaws is defensive and suspicious around strangers whereas Curly is more open, but has mood swings varying on the ones around him.) Once you've set your mind on the personalities, just stick to them. Beyond that, you could try making conversations and arguments between them, they're fairly easy since you don't even have to write out the excact words (Just poketalk). And it is, of course, always a good thing to read a lot. Try reading the other RP posts on these forums for ideas on improving your writing. Hope something of that helps.

OCC: Thankies.. for ur comments... Do you think reading more Pokemon special comics might help?
Guess I'll put Corrine, my Eevee as a shy pokemon, hu is afraid to express its feelings. And poketalk btw refers to eg.( Ruby's mudkip: zu..zu.zuzu)? As for Sylvia... mayb some opinions? I'm not sure how Sylvia should be like... It's definitely more of the clinging to trainer type....

Jenny walked along the deck of the ship and folded her arms across her chest.
"Urggg...Its so boring on the ship, with nobody to talk to."

"Mudkip!"Dew replied abit hurt
"Ralts!"Ruru joined in.

"No,no!Thats not what I meant! Both of you are great listeners.But,it wouldn't hurt to talk to someone who wouldn't reply with a "Mudkip!"Or a "Ralts!" would it?"

Dew lightened up abit, and replied with a happy kip.

"Glad you agree!"

Jenny continued walking down the deck, twisting her hair with her fingers.Stopping now and then to check if anybody was around.

"I thought that there would be more people on the boat, since we've docked.."she said glumly.

Suddenly,Ruru perked up,its horns glowing.

"Ruru?Your horns! You can sense other people on the ship?"
The ralts smiled and nodded its head.

"Lead the way!"

Ruru darted towards the North of the ship.Jenny took Dew out from her bag.
"Come on, you've got to get some excersize yourself!"
Dew jumped out of her hands and ran after Ruru.

"Hey! Wait for me!"

OCC-Haha..I know that the rules say we shouldn't do this much, but since no one's replying...
Could you also give me some tips or comments alter ego?You RPing is quite good.
Oh,and basically here are my pokemon's natures,
Ruru-It has a quirky nature, and it has a habit of swaying it arms back and forth. It loves making new friends out of any pokemon it might happen to meet.
Dew-It has a bold nature, so, it tends to be abit rash at times,but it is an understanding pokemon,who,just like it's trainer, would help any pokemon in need.

OOC: I haven't read any pok?mon comics myself so I wouldn't know if they work. As for Sylvia, Sneasel's are generally malicious in one way or the other, so how about possessive? As in, she cares for her trainer a lot and refuses to share her with anyone. This could also spark some conflict with Corrine's shy nature. But you should know your own better than anyone else...

Also, pok?talk is what pok?mon say (e.g. "Toto!") but humans can't fully understand.

IC:

"Raa!" Curly stiffened, raising his horns up into the air.

"What's the matter, Curly?" Cid asked curiosly, stopping at the prow of the ship "You say there's someone headed this way?"

"Raalts..."

"What can you sense about them?"

The Ralts conveyed images of boredom replaced with excitement over something. And finally, a thought of family-

"So, you're saying whoever's there has got a Ralts along?" Cid asked.

"Raalts." Curly replied with a nod.

Before Cid could continue his questioning he was interrupted by the wildly flailing Jaws.

"To-too-diile!" the pok?mon exclaimed, pointing towards three figures approaching from the distance, a Mudkip and a Ralts running just ahead of a girl with raven black hair.

"Are those the three?" Cid asked, noticing the Ralts

"Raa." Curly replied with an eager nod, moving a bit closer to Cid.

"Well let's wait for them to come and we'll intoduce ourselves then, shall we?"

"Toto!" Jaws growled, he wasn't pleased with all these strangers tromping about, not pleased at all.

OOC 2: There's no rule against extended posting between a few RPers as long as the plot doesn't get completely carried away. But don't double-post, (i.e. put two of your posts after each other) use the edit button instead.

Jenny was sweating all over, but after awhile, she saw 3 figures not too far from them.

"Yes!Finally,someone to talk to!"Jenny thought happily.

It was a boy,he was abit taller than her,he seemed friendly enough.
Wiping sweat of her face, she held out her hand.

"Huff..huff..My name's Jenny,huff...sorry about this.This isn't really the idea of a good impression is it? I ran all the way from the other side of the ship, i was so excited to find out that there was another pokemon trainer on this ship."

She untied the bandana from her arm, and used it to tie her hair.
Ruru was busy smiling at the other Ralts the boy had,while Dew walked up to the Totodile,which jumped back in surprise.

"Raa?" Curly asked, moving closer to the other Ralts "Raa-lts."

Cid took a small pause to let the girl catch her breath. "Well, I'm Cid Woodland. Nice to meet you Jenny."

"Toto!" Jaws exclaimed, snapping his teeth treatheningly in front of the Mudkip who had intruded on his space. "Toto-dile!"

"Oh ligthen up Jaws." Cid said "Try being a bit social for a change."

"Toto..." the water pok?mon grumbled, but didn't give any further comment.

"Sorry about Jaws." Cid said, turning back to Jenny "He's been on edge all morning."

The boy watched the two Ralts' interact with each other.

"So." he said, hoping to strike up a conversation "Since you're a trainer, you're headed for Alphimega too, right?"

OOC: Oh shootses! I'm late! ACK! *rushes to catch up*

IC:
"Do you have to be there right now?" Amy exclaimed as she ran, reaching up to the Mudkip perched on her head.

"Mud!" the Mudkip seemed to taunt her, tapping her little feet on Amy's head.

"Yeah, you decide to mock me right when I actually have to hurry," Amy didn't finish the sentence, for she was too out of breath. Looking ahead once more, Amy thanked no one in particular as she saw that the ferry had not left port. She grinned to herself as she finally boarded, hoping that she wasn't too late.

"Okay, Mudkee, I'll decide to let you live this time." Amy exclaimed in a single breath. Mudkee only caught on to Amy's grin.

Amy dropped the conversation and decided to survey the ship. Sure enough, there were several other people, all a part of some conversation. Amy sighed. Where to start.. the girl thought to herself.

Before Jenny could reply, Curly stood in stiff attention once more.

"Hm?" Cid gave the psychic pok?mon an inquisitive glance "More people?"

"Raa..." Curly replied, gesturing towards in direction of the gangplank.

"Well, the more the merrier."

"Toto!" Jaws said defiantly. There were all too many people stealing the attention of his trainer as it was. He wanted to see and judge this one without interference.

"Dile!" the little crocodile promptly hopped down onto the deck.

"You want to go meet them?" Cid asked in surprise

"Toto." Jaws gave a vigorous nod.

"Well go ahead then, but behave."

Cid watched the little crocodile rush in the direction Curly had pointed out and shook his head. Pok?mon were so hard to understand at times...

Amy was now simply leaning on the railing, regaining her breath. She looked up without moving her head as Mudkee shifted uneasily.

"Something wrong? You need an Oran Berry?" Amy asked. She recieved no reply as Mudkee hopped off of Amy's head and onto the deck, facing a Totodile that was now approaching. A Ralts followed shortly after it.

"Uh, who's your Trainer, guys?" Amy called out to the approaching Pokemon.

Mudkee cocked her head, not knowing what exactly to expect.

"Raa..." Curly replied, pointing towards the direction that the pok?mon had come from.

"Toto." Jaws concured grumpily, annoyed that he had been detected so early, before staring down Mudkee intently.

"Ralts?" Curly asked, approaching Amy cautiously as he tried to read her mood "Raa-alts?"

Amy bent down, trying to make herself seem less threatening.

"Why aren't you with your Trainer? Are you lost or something?" Amy asked the Ralts that had now approached her.

Meanwhile, Mudkee was staring back at the Totodile in confusion.

"Mud? Kip mud kip?" (What? Got somethin' to say?) Mudkee asked, though in a curious manner.

OOC: Hmm, can we translate? Oh well.

"ah crap I'm late the boat already left"devon says then jumps in the water and swims after the boat.eventualy he gets tired and a wailord gives him a lift to the boat.now he's one the boat devon calls out to the wailord"thanks I owe you big time.devon feeling week after swimming for such a long time looks for a place to sit.then charmander comes out of his pokeball and pulls devon towards another trainer. her charmander pulls her awahy"hm thats odd why'd yur bring me over here anyway"devon says.charmander says"char char char".ah so you think that charmander was cute"devon replies.