Virginity/sex
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Lucid
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Wow, congrats on making a thread about the last thing I want to hear about. :(
Shining Raichu
Expect me like you expect Jesus.
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Noone forced you to click anything, dude
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Aw man, I'm so sorry! I'll keep that in mind and try to post more wisely in the future!! :(
ShinyHoundoom
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Am I a virgin? Yes, yes I am, and I really don't care if I stay one or not. There are more important things in my life than a (in my mind) silly social construct.
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I lost my virginity at 20 and I don't regret it even though I ended up going to a brothel (a legal one). I only wish that I tempered my expectations going into it because I somehow thought having this one experience would rid me of my loneliness and make me feel complete. In reality sex is temporary relief and pleasure. It's important but it isn't something that should be feared or put on a pedestal in my opinion.
Adrasteia
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I was 16 when I lost my virginity, and I don't regret it (maybe I regret my choice in partner) but it felt right at the time and I think that's all that matters. Peer pressure was a big thing for me there was a lot of talk about having to loose it befor it was considered legal (which is 16 in England) but it's important for a person to feel completely at easy with whoever there with and for there not to be any huge expectations about how special it's going to be. It will be awkward, it probably won't feel good first time, you'll fumble around and probably have a good laugh at how nervous you both are and that's fine, sex is not a topic to shy away from.
In country's like America where some states teach Abstinance as the only option to teenagers. Those are the states have the highest teen pregnancy rates, teenagers are full of hormones and there curious. They need to be taught the values of safe sex and not letting yourself be pressured and then left to there own devices to make there own choices, it's the best way to make sure they become mature adults with a mind of there own.
In country's like America where some states teach Abstinance as the only option to teenagers. Those are the states have the highest teen pregnancy rates, teenagers are full of hormones and there curious. They need to be taught the values of safe sex and not letting yourself be pressured and then left to there own devices to make there own choices, it's the best way to make sure they become mature adults with a mind of there own.
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I lost my virginity when I was nineteen, and it was pretty traumatic, for the most part. Long story short, the guy left shortly afterward, saying he'd return and never did..and so I was in a 'seedy' motel in a part of town that's not the best all by myself.
Sex is nice when it's between two consenting adults (I myself have almost been on the end where it wasn't consenting on my part, but..you know, shit happens)..but it shouldn't be everything in a relationship. On the other hand, I was in a relationship for two years that went without much intercourse, and that got a little frustrating.
It's now a regular thing for me. #blessed
Sex is nice when it's between two consenting adults (I myself have almost been on the end where it wasn't consenting on my part, but..you know, shit happens)..but it shouldn't be everything in a relationship. On the other hand, I was in a relationship for two years that went without much intercourse, and that got a little frustrating.
It's now a regular thing for me. #blessed
Lost it past the age that most people lose it, and I think I was fairly cognizant about the whole process so I have a bit to say.
Before having sex, I felt like it was a big deal. But after meeting someone I came to care a lot about and spending a lot of time with them, I came to realize that virginity itself wasn't the "big deal". Rather, what I really cared about is having that intimacy with them. So things moved steadily forwards and those inhibitions concerning virginity I had in the past were slowly peeled away. Something parallel happened with them as well: being a person with a more conservative upbringing, they had more inhibitions about it than I did, but over time she eased into the idea of having sex naturally. That, or our hormones finally got to us.
After having sex for the first time, I felt like nothing really changed. Practically no perception at all. Personally, I feel kind of pissed off at society for giving people the impression that losing one's virginity is this kind of transformation or rite of passage because for me it really wasn't. As for them, they felt somewhat guilty about it for a while, as a conservative upbringing might do to a person, but over time they came to the same conclusion: that having sex doesn't change anything.
I don't doubt that for some people, having sex entails a feeling of transformation, of crossing some threshold. The more you personally invest yourself in such an ideal, the more powerful that ideal could be. If having sex on the wedding night is all you've ever imagined for yourself, and is indeed what you end up doing, riding off the high and emotions of planning and having the marriage could make sex a truly transformative experience, I have no doubt of that. But the key word here is could, and at least myself (and some others here I imagine) can attest to being disappointed, however slightly, that what "society" claimed to have in store simply did not hold up.
Consequently, in the vein of what Shining Raichu said, don't regret losing your virginity for its own sake because not all expectations are realistic. If the first time isn't amazing or what it was cracked up to be, well it is what it is. You've already had your expectations shattered, so I really don't see the point of perpetuating those flimsy expectations further by regretting the experience too much. I think the regret would be better directed towards thoughts like "I should've thought for myself more" and things of that nature.
As for the idea that sex being something amazing that you should only share with someone you love, I feel it's like the FedEx arrow: once you see it you can't unsee it. I'm probably attractive and socially skilled enough to attain casual sex sooner or later if I chose to do so (most people are, despite their own insecurities), but I wouldn't because sex within the context of an intimate relationship seems infinitely better. Although I admit casual sex appeals to me to an extent, I would still rule it out even if I was single given what I have experienced so far in life. However, I don't believe my experiences speak so much to the virtues of sex within a relationship, but rather the value of having a satisfying intimate relationship in general.
so uh tl;dr a good relationship is awesome, and prepare to be disappointed by losing your virginity (or not and go all in it's up to you)
Before having sex, I felt like it was a big deal. But after meeting someone I came to care a lot about and spending a lot of time with them, I came to realize that virginity itself wasn't the "big deal". Rather, what I really cared about is having that intimacy with them. So things moved steadily forwards and those inhibitions concerning virginity I had in the past were slowly peeled away. Something parallel happened with them as well: being a person with a more conservative upbringing, they had more inhibitions about it than I did, but over time she eased into the idea of having sex naturally. That, or our hormones finally got to us.
After having sex for the first time, I felt like nothing really changed. Practically no perception at all. Personally, I feel kind of pissed off at society for giving people the impression that losing one's virginity is this kind of transformation or rite of passage because for me it really wasn't. As for them, they felt somewhat guilty about it for a while, as a conservative upbringing might do to a person, but over time they came to the same conclusion: that having sex doesn't change anything.
I don't doubt that for some people, having sex entails a feeling of transformation, of crossing some threshold. The more you personally invest yourself in such an ideal, the more powerful that ideal could be. If having sex on the wedding night is all you've ever imagined for yourself, and is indeed what you end up doing, riding off the high and emotions of planning and having the marriage could make sex a truly transformative experience, I have no doubt of that. But the key word here is could, and at least myself (and some others here I imagine) can attest to being disappointed, however slightly, that what "society" claimed to have in store simply did not hold up.
Consequently, in the vein of what Shining Raichu said, don't regret losing your virginity for its own sake because not all expectations are realistic. If the first time isn't amazing or what it was cracked up to be, well it is what it is. You've already had your expectations shattered, so I really don't see the point of perpetuating those flimsy expectations further by regretting the experience too much. I think the regret would be better directed towards thoughts like "I should've thought for myself more" and things of that nature.
As for the idea that sex being something amazing that you should only share with someone you love, I feel it's like the FedEx arrow: once you see it you can't unsee it. I'm probably attractive and socially skilled enough to attain casual sex sooner or later if I chose to do so (most people are, despite their own insecurities), but I wouldn't because sex within the context of an intimate relationship seems infinitely better. Although I admit casual sex appeals to me to an extent, I would still rule it out even if I was single given what I have experienced so far in life. However, I don't believe my experiences speak so much to the virtues of sex within a relationship, but rather the value of having a satisfying intimate relationship in general.
so uh tl;dr a good relationship is awesome, and prepare to be disappointed by losing your virginity (or not and go all in it's up to you)
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Fire Heart
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No, I am not a virgin but I didn't lose my virginity to someone I love like most people try to do. Some may frown down on that but it was an experience that I wouldn't take back
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I lost my virginity at the age of 15 to a girl who then cheated on me with my "best friend" the next night. Then she went on to cheat on me with five other guys in the space of two months before I found out. So I really do regret it and wish I'd waited.
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