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A lil' Eevee fanfic as penance for what I've done

Janis Joplin

so many fantastic colors
  • 44
    Posts
    20
    Years
    • Seen Dec 26, 2004
    To prove that I'm Ruki and not a druggy.

    "Eevee: How I found Bill"

    Everything began with a thump and a shatter, a harsh welcoming into this world that I'm only beginning to understand. The little Eevee's mother was a Flareon, and he had been dropped (and unintentionally hatched) in the cold, overcast twilight on a late autumn day.

    My mother, who I barely got to know, had been chased by her trainer. He had been trying to use her in a rough battle, against a Quagsire. Her sixth sense knew that her type disadvantage would be reinforced by a deluge of rain. After knocking the dumb creature over with a swipe of her back leg, she scrambled up a tree and hung out in a branch. There she laid my egg, which broke into pieces without any of the warmth and stimulation an egg normally gets.

    I emerged, coughing, wet and sputtering as I did so. Having no knowledge of my own, I acted purely on instinct; and my instinct failed me, for I found no mother to cozy up to. Immediately I flopped down on my back and wailed and mother jumped right out of the tree, landing just next to me. But hearing her trainer's angry call sound louder and louder, she had no time to coddle me. As she burst into the brush, I was immediately covered in a multitude of scrapes, each of which took a toll on my delicate little life. I didn't know when my mother reached the clearing; injured and with instincts unsatisfied, I had presumably blacked out. The darkness faded away as she groomed my wet fur. I still clung fiercely on to the reins of life, and soon I came to, bobbing my little head.

    "YOU STUPID THING! Get back here! It's impolite for a trainer to forfeit!" the trainer's flushed face appeared suddenly from the bushes and mother sprang, flares all around her body rising with maternal instinct. She began with flamethrower, which scorched the trainer's clothes and surprised him. And at the same time, she had broken the ultimate Pok?mon's oath: never to attack its trainer. He was knocked to the floor, but began to roll strangely, as if trying to escape from some imaginary Pok?ball. After a series of little grunts and wheezes, he came unsteadily to his feet again and grabbed my mother around the neck, but she turned up her flares again and his hands had instantaneously been burned. As the battle wore on, the bravest creature I know had begun to revert to her most basic Eevee attacks, biting and scratching and kicking up sand.

    A resonating boom suddenly sounded across the sky. At first, I was the only one who noticed the rain. Lying unsheltered in the grass, the strange cold spines seemed to melt away my thin fur. Everything flashed for a moment. When I looked again, mother was lying in the grass, steam billowing from her body.
    _____
    Yes, I know the plot hardly has any Pok?mon elements, but I haven't played in about a year. And I know it's too detailed to be told from the point of view of the main character. I'll explain that later.
     
    Great start for a story! I wonder why nobody's replied to it yet? Maybe cause it's new cause this is good!
     
    No, because they think I'm a druggie with no life and a bad influence. I'm not. I'm a 12-year-old girl who used to be known as Ruki. The mods take me too seriously.
     
    Oh, well, it's still a great story, I'm sure someone will reply to it more and make more people read it and they'll say it's great cause I think it is! :)
     
    Lightning flashed again, and mother was being sucked up by the red demon that was a Pok?ball beam. The ball wriggled forcefully out of its masters hands and rolled toward me, but then it was stopped by the trainer's muddy shoe. It was like capturing a wild Pok?mon all over again. After a few moments, the trainer let go, and the ball was still and was dented on the top like a soda can. Mother was most likely smashed, or at least very uncomfortable. A damaged Pok?ball can ruin its biome information, causing an incorrect environment for the Pok?mon, or physically cave in its ceiling.

    I stared longingly at the Pok?ball, following it with my newly opened eyes until the trainer's body faded into the brush.

    The hazards of the world proved fierce, unforgiving and real. Huge drops of rain half the size of my head pelted my delicate coat and seared my skin with their coldness as they dissolved. The sensation became perpetual as the rain fell hard and fast. Mist clouded my vision; thunder boomed across the ground, making me run even though I was unable to. I could only crawl, gradually, steadily, toward the bushes behind me. Slowly and apprehensively my body made a little impression through the grass.

    Suddenly, lightning flashed again, turning everything white and threatening for a second. A dread gathered in my stomach. The tree just ahead lurched and fell down, its branches flaming. Fire never looked so threatening.
     
    I'm not sure O.o If my post count could be transferred (maybe as about 4 if we have to compromise, since I've only made a few worthwhile posts). I'm also on another forum now, and my interest in Pok?mon is waning, and I tend to feel a little restrained here. IF you could transfer my post count...
     
    yes, talk to PPNSteve, he'll transfer you're post count for you! He's nice....

    he could just change your username too....
     
    Anyone else? Comments? Crits? Please? Before I post the next chunk only for it to be ignored?
     
    You are doing an awesome job. It's nice to see a story written in 1st person. This style of writing is NOT my favorite and should be taken very seriously. You do a good job though. Many 1st person stories lack a lot of detail which is what makes the 1st person point of view good! Your's is good though.

    I would suggest letting us get into the heads of your characters a bit more though. Really let us know what they're thinkin.
     
    The fear that thrilled through my body froze me more than the coldest rain. Only my head, my essential control center, remained unfrozen. I didn't exactly "use it" as the humans say; I threw it downward. I shrank as much as possible, but I knew it probably wouldn't be enough. Then I felt a crash, and light no longer leaked through to my eyes. I opened them wide, but nothing appeared to happen. Darkness seemed to swallow me up.

    A loud hooting resonated across the tree and, before I could even try to think of the staggering possibilities of what it was, I was rushed all the way into the end of the tree. Two red circles glimmered in the darkness, illuminating two pupils inside them and a round shape. As I recovered, I also saw that the lights shone like beams and let me see my sorry shape. The hooting sounded again, and as the creature came forward, I could see the round body of a Hoothoot. I had no idea of what it was, then, but I sat there miserably, expecting to be pecked into oblivion. Maybe I'd be put to sleep first by those mesmerizing eyes...

    But the Hoothoot turned around slowly on its one foot and showed me a tightly gathered group of glowing circles, a chirping emitting from each one. Its babies. Something clicked in my mind, something having to do with my mother, but before I could ponder it, the thing I expected to happen happened. A barrage of pecks rained on me, but since I had time to contemplate that, I rolled out of the way. Then I ran to where the hole in the tree was and saw that there was a tiny space between the ground and the hole. I squeezed my way out and soon I was drenched and miserable once again. Crawling through the brush surrounding the tree, I could see a rock wedged into the ground. I had already seen plenty of rocks, but I had a good feeling about this one. Once I saw that there was a small space underneath the rock, I realized why. Using my newly honed shrinking and squeezing skills, I compressed my body as much as possible and crawled under.

    It was dank and the air inside felt muggy, but the warmth made me feel safe, and I was thankful that I had shelter of any kind. Once I had laid down and closed my eyes, I realized I was slowly sinking into Zubat guano. But I didn't care.

    I awoke the next morning refreshed and rather dirty. My stomach churned from how light and empty it was; I hadn't eaten in my life. As I strained to get out from under the rock, I found it easier. My stomach had shrunk in the night. I needed nourishment fast; I had had none in my life and no reserves to feed off of. Upon emerging, I felt the sun warm my fur. The grass was tipped in dew; I rolled in it to clean the disgusting stuff off of me. Then as I looked into the distance, I spotted a satchel. A satchel that carried a sweet aroma, like food. My mouth watered.
     
    Unrestrained, uncontrolled, I loped over toward the satchel, salivating and fantasizing the whole way. It was only a straight stretch of grass, so I had all the time in the world to think of what it was, how it would benefit me, how good it would feel in my mouth. How it would feel in my mouth. Suddenly, a picture of mother flashed in my mind, and I had a violent flashback to a place and time I didn't know.

    Warmth surrounded me. I could not see, I could not hear, I could not smell. I could only feel and remember. Warm globs of food were fed into my mouth; I did not ask, I didn't have to find the food or beg for it, it was simply fed to me, whether I liked it or not. Darkness surrounded me as well, and I could only detect the faint essence of the moment.

    Then, all of a sudden, there was a faint twinge of pain in this world of darkness and a whooshing sensation. My engorged stomach had been jostled, and I was being grabbed and lifted...

    My eyes fluttered open and I came to my senses. Six strong claws grasped me around the stomach, penetrating my thin fur and denting my delicate skin. A beak poked my belly and opened up, grabbing a small section of flesh and pulling. Immediately, I realized I was being eaten by a Fearow. I squiggled and writhed, desperately trying to save my life. Out of shock, the Fearow reeled backwards and was immediately hit in the wing by a small object. Absolutely stunned, the Fearow fell to the ground, twitching, and was engulfed in a red light that was sucked back into the object, which turned out to be a Pok?ball. My life was saved. I looked down at the young man who took the ball firmly and walked off, the curly brown fur on his head abounce. I had to know who he was.

    My climbing-down problem was solved for me. After leaning forward to watch the guy take his Fearow and leave the clearing, I felt myself begin to teeter from the branch where the Fearow took me. I hit the ground hard, but it felt good being in my element again. And the satchel, with its enticing scent momentarily forgotten, had helped to cushion my fall. I stepped off and grabbed its burlap outside in my mouth, shaking it wildly. Soon I began to charge into it, using my first tackle attack, and my claws joined the medley as well. Eventually a small hole appeared that ripped, becoming larger and larger, until the prize inside was revealed. A sweet pink fruit, which I now know as the Pecha berry, stood before me. My mouth took it in gigantic chunks, pink drool trickling from my mouth as I bit off really more than I could hold. The newfound sensation of taste was overwhelming, and soon I felt an emotion I had never felt before: happiness. With my belly taut in its fullness and plenty of energy, I continued on, leaving this big, open space where my small frame was so vulnerable.
     
    very very good story i wouldnt change a thing....it truely is great and i cant wait for more
     
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