s0nido
turn up the engine
- 1,590
- Posts
- 15
- Years
- Age 29
- Laverre City
- Seen Dec 30, 2022
I think I should talk about my problems before I try to kill myself. That way, I know someone will hear my problems and I won't have to try something so drastic.
I have two parents. My mum always wants me to do better. It is so extreme that if I got 99% in an exam, she wouldn't be happy because some other boy got 100%. Then there's my dad. He's never really said anything encouraging to me. He tries to pressure me on like my mum does, but when I retaliate, he goes all stress-traumatic and says that no one listens to him and blah blah blah.
At school, I'm the social loser. Just because I don't play sport with the others and I am smart, everyone takes a chance to spread rumours about me and tease me. I've tried to stop this, but it never works.
At home, I'm yelled at for any little thing that goes wrong, and lately, everything that does go wrong is ticking me off. For example, if my sister enters my room, I'll go crazy at her and she'll run out crying. Them my mum will come in and scold me and I get in trouble.
OK, it isn't something that horrible, like some stories of families breaking apart, but I've been in this pressure for so long without even venting my anger out on absolutely anything. And now, this bottled-up anger is beginning to show signs of eruption. Every little thing that someone says to me may be seen as an insult or a provocation, and I get mad. If my mum yells at me, I feel the pressure build up more and more. I need to just let it go on something, just burst it out safely before I decide to go extreme.
Any comments on this?
I have two parents. My mum always wants me to do better. It is so extreme that if I got 99% in an exam, she wouldn't be happy because some other boy got 100%. Then there's my dad. He's never really said anything encouraging to me. He tries to pressure me on like my mum does, but when I retaliate, he goes all stress-traumatic and says that no one listens to him and blah blah blah.
At school, I'm the social loser. Just because I don't play sport with the others and I am smart, everyone takes a chance to spread rumours about me and tease me. I've tried to stop this, but it never works.
At home, I'm yelled at for any little thing that goes wrong, and lately, everything that does go wrong is ticking me off. For example, if my sister enters my room, I'll go crazy at her and she'll run out crying. Them my mum will come in and scold me and I get in trouble.
OK, it isn't something that horrible, like some stories of families breaking apart, but I've been in this pressure for so long without even venting my anger out on absolutely anything. And now, this bottled-up anger is beginning to show signs of eruption. Every little thing that someone says to me may be seen as an insult or a provocation, and I get mad. If my mum yells at me, I feel the pressure build up more and more. I need to just let it go on something, just burst it out safely before I decide to go extreme.
Any comments on this?