Okay, this may seem like an extension of my ***** #3 about bullies, snobs and brats (snobs in particular), but bear with me.
Lots of so-called goths are pretentious. I'm pretentious sometimes. I'm what's known as old school, an "Elder Goth" or (behind my back) a cranky old bat. (If you're that curious, I was born in 1960. Do the effen math.) If you've ever heard Cruxshadows' "Leave Me Alone", that's what my entire life has been like. For years I tried to conform, and I failed. Finally I gave up and became what I wanted to be. I wore the clothes I wanted to wear. I listened to music nobody else liked or had even heard of. I wore black lipstick and eyeliner when it wasn't cool. Over the years I've lost jobs, friends, and relationships because of my refusal to conform to what others think I should look like. I've come through hell to be where I am in life right now (in a very stable relationship and reasonably content with my lot). I've made a name for myself--okay, so 90 percent of the world doesn't give a rat's hairy ass for kisekae, but I'm still world-famous for my doll sets. I have a time-tested and loyal circle of friends. I'm an acknowledged artist in my field. I'd like to think I've earned the right to be a little pretentious. You tell me.
That having been said...I don't think I have the right to point at another person and say "Oh, you are such a poser!" Yet that's what a lot of people around me spend half their time doing--pointing out who "is" and who "isn't" part of "the scene". (I told you this sounded like my rant about snobs.) It's a common topic at Denny's, Carpe Diem and just about every club within driving distance of where I live (and that includes New Orleans). But of course, Marilyn Manson isn't goth, but Coil is. No, Coil's darkwave; Unto Ashes is really goth. Who? Oh, you mean you haven't heard of them? Oh, well, then, you must not be goth enough, dearling. Run along now, I'm too busy to waste my time talking to a pathetic little skin-goth like you.
Ugh.
So what is "goth"? Hell, don't ask me. I'm still figuring it out for myself. The problem with our culture is that people tend to slap labels on everything. But labels don't always fit nice and snug; sometimes they won't stick, sometimes they peel off and fall away after a while, and sometimes they're just a misprint.
What is goth to me? That's a little easier. "Goth" is short for "gothic", and it has nothing to do with extinct middle European cultures who died out sometime in the first millenium A.D. Gothic, to me, is a form of artistic appreciation and expression that encompasses things and concepts which are dark and mysterious and normally taboo--sex, death, fear, horror, pain, evil, cruelty, disfigurement, sorrow, grief...all the things most people would rather not think about. Gothic culture, for me, is not a celebration of these things (well, maybe sex, but not the rest of it). It is, rather, a way of bringing forbidden and disturbing subjects out into the open and dealing with them, as we all someday must. It's taking that step into the darkness, finding out what's in it, and dealing face-to-face with our own personal fears about mortality and the impermanence of being. When you have that kind of artistic mindset, you have a natural appreciation for things that others with different tastes might find spooky, eerie, or just plain sick. It doesn't mean you actually want to go out and hurt other people. Plenty of "normal" people (casuals, mundanes, whatever) find macabre subjects entertaining, too. For example, horror movies are more popular than ever these days. Millions of mundanes flock to films like The Haunting or The Others, yet those same people freak out over someone dressed all in black who walks past them at the mall. I believe that this is simply because everybody likes to be thrilled, shocked, or titillated when they know they're really "safe" from what scares them, but it takes a certain courage to be able to face what really scares you. The deepest, most basic fear is of the unknown--things we don't understand. We all make our own monsters; but while most people deal with their monsters by locking them in a dark closet and denying their existence, I'm more likely to light a candle or two and invite my monsters to come sit down and have a cup of tea with me so I can get to know them better.
It's also important to accept yourself as you are. Anybody can wear black and put on white make-up and call themselves "freaks", but only that person knows what their outlook on life really is. I've always known I was different from most of the others around me (again, see ***** #3 above, the "Easter chick in the henhouse" comparison). That's the real reason "gothic" people are scary to most other people. The average person just doesn't "get" it.
Being gothic for me is not a fashion statement. It's not a musical style (I believe the term "goth" as it pertains to musical expression has lost any meaning it might have had, thank you mass media). It's not going to the clubs every night, it's not being strung out on the illegal substance of the week, and it's sure as hell not knowing the "right" people while ragging on the "wrong" people. Cliquishness is not going to go away, because it's part of the human condition. All I'm saying is that seeking permission or approval to be gothic or "a goth" is a pointless, fruitless exercise. I haven't asked permission or sought approval yet, and I'm not looking for validation from you, either. I know who and what I am by now. Yes, those freaky kids on the Jenny Jones show annoy the hell out of me, too, but I'm not going to call someone a poser or a skin-goth outright because that's not my call to make. It's not yours, either, so shut up already.
Oh, and once and for all, people: There is no "gothic movement". There's no horde of disease-ridden sex-crazed drugged-out Satan-worshipping baby-eaters coming to corrupt America's innocent youth. Gothic had nothing more to do with Columbine than Barney the purple dinosaur did. Get over it.
