Cheating

[Yukari]

& neither one of them is a masochist

Yeah... I'm pretty sure abuse isn't okay even if one is a masochist.

 

[Captain Gizmo]

if either is abusing the other & neither one of them is a masochist, then they shouldn't even be in a relationship to begin with. thats the type of crap that leads to one of them in prison or on the run & the other to the grave.

Sorry but abuse =/= S&M
And by abuse, I think Kanzler meant abusing the trust of your other half by cheating on them. Not physical abuse.


And by cheating, what do you guys consider cheating? Because a lot of people would put different factors considered cheating. So I'm rather curious what most of you consider cheating.

 

[shadowmoon522]

Yeah... I'm pretty sure abuse isn't okay even if one is a masochist.

masochist enjoy being abused to some extent or another. it depends upon the individual, but things that can be seen as highly abusive to the majority of society can really get them going.
off topic: how did you make your sig like that?

And by cheating, what do you guys consider cheating? Because a lot of people would put different factors considered cheating. So I'm rather curious what most of you consider cheating.

sleeping around without some form of consent.

 

[Margaery Tyrell]

As with all actions, there must be context to interpret the situation.

Is cheating acceptable? This depends on the person's views and the relationship entirely. If a person is in a relationship that is toxic and/or abusive and they can't escape then cheating, in my opinion, would be acceptable. However within a relationship in which both partners have agreed to be sexually and romantically exclusive to each other, then cheating is perhaps not the brightest idea for either partner to commit. If either partner feels they are no longer sexually or romantically interested in their partner, then either they should probably discuss the future or terms of their relationship, or end it.

Obviously polyamorous/open relationships are their own entirely different types of relationships, but it'd still be wise to discuss the terms or ground rules of the relationship between the consenting individuals before doing anything that may be considered rash, like having unprotected sex with someone outside of the relationship or whatever.

I've honestly never been in a relationship, sexually or romantically, so I cannot give an accurate opinion on how I'd react to my partner cheating on me, but if we had both agreed to a strictly monogamous relationship then I'd probably end it with them and move on.

 

[Psychic]

masochist enjoy being abused to some extent or another. it depends upon the individual, but things that can be seen as highly abusive to the majority of society can really get them going.

This is getting off-topic, but I'd like to clarify that pairing an abuser with a masochist =/= everybody is happy. Abusive relationships have nothing to do with S&M, and that is a stigma the community has been fighting for a long time.

Abuse is still abuse, and is still a crime, unless done with both parties' consent. Just because someone is a masochist does not mean they always want to be abused, and does not give an abuser free reign to do whatever they want. The kind of abuse you are thinking of is a part of BDSM, and all BDSM must be "safe, sane and consensual." That means all activities must be safe, all individuals must be of sufficiently sound/sane mind to consent, and all parties have to agree (consent) to what happens. Therefore, you can't just throw an abuser and a masochist together and assume they'll have a great time, especially because an abuser likely does not give a crap about "safe, sane and consensual."

If I misunderstood your post I apologize, but this is a very common misconception and a really important distinction.

~Psychic

 

[Geltza]

I don't think cheating is acceptable. I've had it done to me a lot. One of my girlfriends cheated on me with five guys in two months. It's horrible, and I did end up having trust issues and self esteem issues because of it all, which is not fair at all for the girls I went out with that DIDN'T cheat.