Dear Anonymous,
I'm sorry, for so many things. I'm sorry for not being able to say the right things. Being battered, beaten, and bruised by bullies as a child really messed me up, ya know? I get scared to say the right things, and I shy away from what I really mean, because I don't want you to think that I'm stupid or awful, even when I simply want to say "I love you." I'm sorry that you waited so long for me. I hate that it went on for five years, without telling you how much I really cared, how much I really needed you. You made me so happy, so warm, you made me feel like I was actually worth something...like I was actually somebody. You made me feel like I was worth looking at, that I wasn't ugly, that I wasn't just another face in the crowd, that I actually had a bright future. Yet all I did was make you feel like a piece of meat...and I can't tell you how much I hate myself for that.
I can't tell you because now, I feel like you won't even believe it, like you already don't believe it. That's what I feared most, is that you wouldn't believe me. I can't take back what I've done. I can't take back what I've said. I had hoped I'd get the chance to show you how much you meant to you. By being the world's greatest husband. By taking you in, providing for you, making breakfast in bed for you, watching movies with you, going to your plays for you, going to dinner with your friends that I don't like, just because I know it'd make you happy. I would do anything for you. I said I want to move to Japan so I wouldn't have anything to regret.
Now, I regret never being able to have the chance to even say to your face, how much I love you. All I can say now, is how much I miss you.
...I wish you well, and good luck with everything.