Fanfiction Lounge

[Lily]

If we slack off, we get whacked by a baseball bat by one of the super moderators and they force us to run laps around the forums. XP Nah jk jk...we just don't slack off unless the topic is uberdead...And the only story you wrote was that? Hm. *makes note to read it* I like sad fics. o.o They remind me of...o.o;;; Just how the world is bleak sometimes I guess.

And for the last time, I do not have skills. ;-;! It is fancy words stringed together end of story. o.o Hm...read a poem...K I'm kinda nervous I'll fail to understand it now but..

Hah LOL at the last line. I think...I sort of get it. For some reason, the last line said most of it, but the other lines...Ah. Well, to me, this poem is about irony but...sarcasm is involved huh is that right?

Mmm sorry but my mere intellect of a child's mind isn't smart enough to decipher this. T_T Mainly because...I'm afraid I got it wrong into explaining things...they often come out wrong and people mistake it for the wrong answer, which is probably what just happened.

Okay now I'm REALLY not ready for high school if they do these kind of stuff.

Meh. ._.;

*sticks her head inside some textbook*

 

[Frostweaver]

lol hence that's why there's a few more years of English classes between the grammar worksheets and stuff like this ^_^ And well said, sarcasm is in it as well. Just like how we expect "oh look it's a woman who's praying in times of being slaughtered by the Germans... 1, 2, 3, AWWWWWWW" (like how everyone else thinks of dear Vappy), we get some ugly selfish arrogant unforgiving old folk praying, and other various cool things like that ^_^ Someday another time when it's not so late I'll explain it further via PM or in the lounge again. Or maybe I'll throw this poem as part of the writing FAQ as an example of irony and other various writing techniques that I know of.

I dunno... sad stories just come to me more natural than others. It just seems... easier to write, and much better to read too. Meh no one cares about happy ending... the main character *must suffer.* AHAHAHAHA *cough cough*

 

[Lily]

Mmmmk. ^_^ (I still don't get why you aren't a fanfic mod T__T)

Sad stories are fun to write. It makes things more dramatic and more suspenseful really...I'm writing another one shot. o.o This time, the pokemon dies out of..let's say..I did forgiveness...LOVE. :3 A Happy ending...meh. Nothing's perfect in this gray gray world we live in. Ooh and I agree with you. Main characters dying are so much fun, don't you think?

XP

 

[Frostweaver]

Mmmmk. ^_^ (I still don't get why you aren't a fanfic mod T__T)

Sad stories are fun to write. It makes things more dramatic and more suspenseful really...I'm writing another one shot. o.o This time, the pokemon dies out of..let's say..I did forgiveness...LOVE. :3 A Happy ending...meh. Nothing's perfect in this gray gray world we live in. Ooh and I agree with you. Main characters dying are so much fun, don't you think?

XP

Ooo! Ooo! Frosty predicts the plot: "female suffers, and then eventually dies in the name of love, and then near or after her death, the man ditches her for someone else." o.o

*likes demented twisted stuff of complete agony, which certainly pollutes and corrupts his own mind but meh*

And we all know that the best status within PC is the almighty "member status." If I can resign my current mod job to give it to someone who can take the role (and if the higher mods allow), then I would do so RIGHT AWAY. Who wants to be the one to do the heavy load of work? Not to mention, the only gains of a mod is the extra PM box, and the wonderful off topic-ness within the PC Mod Lounge. Other than that, very pointless and is nothing but complete suffering.

Taking words from another staff: "We are mods because we know that someone needs to do the dirty work. That might as well be us."

 

[Kayoss]

Hey guys :)

Just wondering if any of you checked out the fanfic I put up earlier today, entitled "Hidden Rage".

I've got about 20 chapters written already, but didnt want to put them all up at once.

Anyway's feel free to comment or even critique :)

 

[Lily]

Aww I have a feeling you're sounding modest. o.o

Mmm the love isn't about humans...it's about the relationship between pokemon and master...Kay I'll shut up now...*shuts up*

No, I meant YOU being a FANFIC mod, just a little inquiry of my foolish erotic young mind, forgive me. o.o; Hey I'm chugging down a liter of coke and pringles right now...you can't blame the hyperness. Mmm I know what a mod is like, and well, yeeaaaah. (so off topic)

Anywayz, that's all for now. Just trying to type away my one shot. @_@

 

[Frostweaver]

I only have time to read one fanfic a day, yet fanfics are now popping up everywhere... this is just wrong ;_;

@ So Close Yet so Far Away

-yay another Saharushipping ^_^ another rare pairing for a fanfic

-grammar mistakes, but punctuation mistakes seem to be the most often so keep an eye out for that

-for me, the main problem is the narrator's style. Even if it's a 3rd person view for the narrator, the narrator should still stay within/around someone. For this chapter, seems like it's sticking with May (eww that name is so gross!) so for the readers to know what Ash is feeling is really something that shouldn't happen... not only does it kill suspense in terms of who Ash will possibly choose, but it's just a really weak way of description...

-length problem, but this isn't really much of a problem as long as you try to spend another day or two for this story. Just give it more time to develop more length. The story certainly didn't feel like 1000 words, or maybe if it is, then it just means that that was not very good of a spot to cut off for another chapter.

-small thing about diction: May sounds overly firm and confident in terms of tone when she's talking to Combusken, but as you write and more importantly, read more, this will slowly fix and correct itself

-like stated by other viewers already, romance fanfics stress very little on setting and heavily on emotions and the character's emotions. Try to focus more length to support your own claims regarding feelings. Just try to keep that in mind, and this fanfic will be superb! This review should sound a little nicer than it is, but it's personally hard for me to give a good review after a terrible day

 

[Lily]

Awww poor frost! =O *hugs*

Take it once a day then. Reviewing too much can't be easy. :/

Anywayz, if I'm thinking of doing another POV like my other one, except a bit different...Would love be a good subject to focus on? Forgiveness came out like pure irony, and well, I was wondering. Oi. *asks such stupid questions o.o*

 

[emeraldslay]

The legend of Erick's next chapter will be up soon. And I have a question...are there any finished original trainer fan fics here? Just wandering.

 

[Frostweaver]

Well Ties of Love and Friendship is... kind of OT, but then it borrows plenty of manga characters so I guess that it doesn't count, and a better question to ask is: what are the finished fanfics here that aren't oneshots? XD


I can't refuse to read a fanfic that's to be praised by one of my favorite author, LilyPichu, and the only other reviewer who actually reviews stories here on PC, Mr. Cat Dog. ^_^

@ Rifts in Time

-as mentioned, excellent symbolism throughout the story. I loved the emerald eye... It revealed so much in such a precise, short sentence. Shows how Michael (so far at least) is used to be in a joyful and peaceful family (as indicated by "Emerald" which is one of the Heart Chakra stones), yet if an eye is being compared to a stone that means that it's dead. Directly quoting from one of my sources (yes I'm geeky enough that I have 3 other websites open to help me read a fanfic o_o;), "When this Chakra is blocked we experience: Emotional problems in our relationships to other people."

Note: not that I believe in certain colors really does have power over these kind of things, but these superstition beliefs are rooted in our writing culture, and the colors have grown to represent these qualities... just because I'm talking about it right now, that doesn't mean I do believe in all these superstitions

-even more colors! Yay... I see that color is the "2nd narrator" for this story =) But now this one just tell me that I'm over analyzing, but brown got mentioned quite a few times about Michael. I believe that brown means home-comfort or some sort of welcome doesn't it? So... not sure if I'm suppose to call it irony, or just a misuse of colors, or I'm over analyzing at 1 o'clock at night

-well ok seems like everything brown is ironic in its own way, seeing how the houses and the trees are brown yet all they do is cast more of his life in darkness... I see... nicely done =)

-I personally recommend you to break up some of the longer paragraphs, especially when Michael talks to himself again. It just helps on readability. Also remember to use spell checks to pick up silly mistakes like spelling whether as wether.

-A great job for a start of the usually boring type of fanfic. I'll look forward to seeing an update for it ^_^ (note: can you um... not update too quickly so I have time to read the other stuff, like Road of Palantria that I am behind by 3 chapters >>;)

-Ok... sorry but perhaps it's late at night or this piece of writing is out of my level. I failed to comprehend too many things in it (not of your fault though) =/ I couldn't figure out the significance of the yellow door against the house, or the lively trees against the death-like school building... or the light being compared to grey which is definitely different (aka "look Frosty, this is IMPORTANT") yet I couldn't find that one either... so anyone want to explain to this poor old fool?


@ Hidden Rage

-a great way to start off an OT fanfic... yay we no longer have the mega cliched "let's go to meet Professor _____" ^_^

-now colors are not to be abused just because they're simple adjectives, because they really aren't. A mix of brown/green/white/black results in some highly contradictory personality regarding Jason (at least the Jason within the dream sequence.)

-like mentioned already, the death of the 2 Pokemon can't just happen by coming out of a pokeball and ding they are dead. The other trainer is also highly awkward to watch the Pokemon die and then say some worthless things and take leave...

-watch for the " ' " punctuation... there are plenty of times where you should be using one yet you missed it, while you misused it once somewhere too. There are other various grammar errors too, but then that's ok as none of us are even close to perfect.

-the mysterious blue aura was... forgotton? Something of such great significance shouldn't be left unexplained, or forsaken like that

-seeing just how Pokemon training is done is definitely original, hardly done anywhere else before

-now the 2nd time when the word "aura" is used, it's not the right word to use... the word you're looking for should be something along "atmosphere" not "aura" so be sure to check the definition of a word first before you use it. However, it's always good to try to use more specific vocabularies like aura. Keep trying.

-now the tone needs to be worked upon between Dr. Vorkov and Hakon. Sometimes it feels like Hakon is the one with more power, and then sometimes the other way around...

-for a 3rd person narrative, don't use "you." Use "one." (ex: instead of "you could not be able to..." use "one could not be able to...")

 

[Mr Cat Dog]

Take it once a day then. Reviewing too much can't be easy. :/

It isn't... especially with some of the fics out there. I really want to strangle some of the authors (of which frosty probably does), but I at least try to comment on good things as well as bad... So - it kinda takes about 10 minutes for each fic... which eats into my social life. XD

I can't refuse to read a fanfic that's to be praised by one of my favorite author, LilyPichu, and the only other reviewer who actually reviews stories here on PC, Mr. Cat Dog. ^_^

I'm a reviewer? Wow... I learn something new every day XD But I was wondering like Lily why you aren't a mod of this place - until Lightning told me it took ages to persuade you to become a mod in the first place. She said it took Kairi, Andy, herself and many more mods to actually convince you to take up a mod's spot.

Also, the atmosphere here seems like a tennis match between Lily and frosty. Lily posts. frosty posts. Lily posts and so on and so forth. I'ts nice to see some sort of relationship forming... ;D

 

[Frostweaver]

Agree... sometimes you just want to shoot some of the authors who you've given advice to like many times, and then their writing's length actually gets shorter and shorter (yet at the same time, the least precise as ever too) >>; Meh. So want if all o'ya out there toss me flashy red blocks of reputations ^_^ *immunity*

Only... 10 minutes? Wow you're a fast reader... It ususally takes me 30 minute or so (but it can be much shorter if the story sucks XD Then just say "everything needs to be worked on, the end"). I usually just read the story once normally, then open up the fanfic lounge and reread the story, typing observations and stuffs that I picked up along the way. Long/good fanfics usually take longer as I'll need to refer to some of my other resources to find out what things mean because my memory isn't so great. Stories with various advanced writing skills take me even longer, as it takes time to figure out what's the significance and everything...

As for me being a mod, it's just that... some stuff happens. And everyone knows that the best status to be is obviously, a normal member!

 

[Mr Cat Dog]

It takes 10 minutes to just review. Depending on the length and the actual quality, that could be added on anything from 30 seconds to 20 minutes to read it thoroughly.

As for me being a mod, it's just that... some stuff happens

o_O Stuff??? MCD yearns for more XD

 

[Lily]

I can't refuse to read a fanfic that's to be praised by one of my favorite author, LilyPichu, and the only other reviewer who actually reviews stories here on PC, Mr. Cat Dog. ^_^

Aw thank you frost! ^_^ *hugs* That's so nice of you!

I'm a reviewer? Wow... I learn something new every day XD But I was wondering like Lily why you aren't a mod of this place - until Lightning told me it took ages to persuade you to become a mod in the first place. She said it took Kairi, Andy, herself and many more mods to actually convince you to take up a mod's spot.

Well DUH you're a reviewer MCD. I've seen you reviewing a lot too. Mmm I don't see why frosty shouldn't have become a mod, although now I understand why. ;-;

Also, the atmosphere here seems like a tennis match between Lily and frosty. Lily posts. frosty posts. Lily posts and so on and so forth. I'ts nice to see some sort of relationship forming... ;D

MCD SHAME ON YOU I'm ONLY 12 T___T; We're just having a...*coughs*... friendly formal conversation about writing only. ;) Isn't that right children? Don't get any ideas now. We're both quite mature enough to figure out the conversation is merely about fics...

frost, you would make an excellent mod here but if you don't want to.

Yeah, that's about it now so avert your eyes from this horrible post and continue to whatever you were doing...

^_^

 

[Frostweaver]

I'm just looking after the fanfic forum during Oni's absense because he's too busy with AC Homework and writing ^_^; And also I like to read fanfics too myself. Don't get the wrong idea...


@ Present

-lack of description in all aspect, lack of length... these 2 "lack of"s are your greatest problem. I feel like a script-fic with punctuations. Some characters just appear for a few seconds then disappear, but then they feel worst than cameos because the lack of description is just so bad... you MUST focus on trying to fill in descriptions.

Begin by talking about physical settings and what the characters look like. Forget transition and "description paragraph" for now. We'll first work on this basic element first, then move on to the other stuff to slowly improve this story.

 

[Kayoss]

Hey thanks a lot for that review, frostweaver. Its those kind of reviews that will really help my writing in the long run, and as I told Mr Cat Dog, I wish more people were like you :)

Next three chapters are up, feel free to read, rate and/or nitpick. They should answer some of the questions that I left behind in the last chapters. I am especially eager to hear ratings from Mr Cat Dog and frostweaver too :)

Also, as soon as I can find enough time, i'd like to try some rating some other fics on this board as well. (though sometimes I can be a little too nice, lol)

 

[Beau`]

Thanks for the review frosty, I really appreciate it ^o^

Just to let you know, the yellow door has no signifigance whatsoever, XP. Good job on spotting the trees though, as they will be explained in the coming chpaters. I cant believe you caught that, lol. No one else did ;D

 

[TTYO]

Pokemon Beyond ep 1 has been updated

 

[Frostweaver]

And also, stop with PMs saying "oh I got an update can you review my story?" x_x; I do have stuff to do outside of reading fanfics, such as this hideous physics lab which burned off 6 hours of my life, only to find "the answer is negative one"? So let's not bombard my PM box with those stuff. If I have time, I will read it. If the title catches my attention and not seem weird/stupid/Haruka-bashing, I will also read it.

 

[emeraldslay]

Finished off the gym chapter of my fic. I put a lot of work into it, so please read it. The next chapter has a very BIG twist.