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[Pokémon] Fire

Bay

6,388
Posts
17
Years
I think you did much better than the chapter with the Breloom setting up the surprised attack and giving the characters distinct personalities! Pretty sad the Gabite died, but at least his other teammates were able to get away. I still see instances where you have ellipses ( "..." ) by itself instead of just stating it like, "the Phantom remained silent" and such. I'm going to assume next chapter Nic and his group (and others) will hear about this attack. In either case, looking forward to more!
 

destinedjagold

You can contact me in PC's discord server...
8,593
Posts
16
Years
  • Age 33
  • Seen Dec 23, 2023
This chapter is my entry for the Flash Fiction Week #20.

"Together"
"Are you guys nervous about what's going to happen?"

"Concentrate, Silver."

"But I can't!" the Eevee frowned at the Torchic who sat on the grassy ground a few paws in front of her.

The trio were outside the guild tree, where a lot of Pokémon rescue members were busily training and sparring after they've heard the news four hours ago.

"How can I?" Silver asked. She shook her head and sighed. "We've found the Phantom's lair. Who's to know that some...vengeful Pokémon would go there and ruin this chance?"

"That's highly unlikely," Nic muttered, meditating. "Now, concentrate."

"What am I concentrating for anyway?" she hissed before she turned to Gabby, who was also meditating. "Gabby, help me out here!"

The grass-type opened her eyes and smiled at her. "Hm? Well, you simply need to take a deep breath and—"

"Not that," she said, her frown going further down. "Shouldn't we be doing some sparring or learning a new move or two?"

"We don't need that," Nic suddenly said.

Silver threw a surprised look at him. "What? Really?! Are you crazy?!"

Nic sighed. "Silver... Just focus—"

"I can't focus, Nic! Haven't you been listening?!" the Eevee hissed, glaring at her leader. "Some mighty groups of rescue teams are going to raid the Phantom's lair at any moment! What if they fail? Will the Phantoms then kill everyone?" She shook her head. "I...I can't sit still, Nic!"

"Then focus..."

Silver growled at him.

Nic opened his eyes to glare at her. "...You already know how to perform your attacks."

"I'm not looking for compliments, Nic!"

"If you are this easy to be distracted," Nic said, "then how long do you think you're going to last in battle?"

"Hey! I can save my hide just fine, in case you didn't pay me any attention during our expeditions!"

Nic nodded as he closed his eyes. "And tell me... How many times were you close to dying if it weren't for Gabby or even I to save your distracted hide?"

Silver growled, yet her ears drooped. "I...You didn't gave us enough sleep! You...!"

"Silver," Gabby finally decided to cut in, earning her friend's frown. "You were throwing yourself at the enemy in hopes to end the battle quickly..." She shook her head. "I understand that—"

"Stop...just..." Silver sighed, hanging her head. "Tell it to me straight."

"Think before you act," Nic said. "We can't be with you all the time, Silver." He opened his eyes and looked at her. "Look at me."

"Nnnggg!" Silver gritted her teeth, but looked up at him nonetheless.

"We can't be a team if we don't work together. That's why I'm asking you to meditate, to concentrate, to focus." Nic flashed her the smallest of smiles. "Because I want the old Silver back. The one who thought of a way to land a hit on me."

"Just on your talon..." Silver sighed.

Nic shook his head. "No matter how the battle goes, you need to be always on your talons. Or paws, in your case." He then put on a serious look. "We're dealing with the Phantoms. I know that. If they show up here and decide to, in your words, 'kill everyone,' then it's going to be a very chaotic battle."

Silver was still frowning, but she nodded in understanding.

Nic nodded as well. "That's why we're teaching you to concentrate." He closed his eyes. "Because, no matter what happens, no matter how dire the situation, you should never lose your focus. Because if you do..."

Gabby frowned at her friend before she turned her attention to the sighing Eevee.

"I...okay..." Silver breathed out as she closed her eyes. "But how long am I supposed to sit like this, anyway?" she asked, an ear twitching from the many noises around.

"As long as it takes," Nic replied. "Also, if we have enough time, Gabby and I will teach you how to properly perform Protect."

"About time," Silver groaned, but kept her eyes closed.

"Now concentrate."

Silver groaned once more.

---

"—is it true that—?"

"—we must act now before—!"

"—how is it possible that—?"

"—we should think of a plan—!"

The guild leaders talked, asked and argued with one another at the same time, filling the small meeting room with their echoing voices that only grew louder and louder by the minute.

"—they'll die in a cave-in—!"

"—can we trust those two Pokémon—?"

"—should steel-types be—?"

"—if we can't even touch them—!"

As the leaders continued their exchange, the guild leader of Alexison, a Blaziken, sat quietly on his chair. His elbows were on the table, his hands crossed and his beaked chin resting on it. He received the news along with a summon for an emergency meeting of all leaders in the region to be held in Mavra, the region's largest Pokémon settlement and was also the heart of all guild bases.

"Quiet!" a Chatot shouted who was perched on the armrest of the chair of Marva's guild leader and founder of guilds. "Everyone, please keep it down!"

The noises slowly died down and the Pokémon's attention slowly turned to the founder.

"Alright, so," the Chatot said, letting his gaze swim through the many faces before him. "We understand that it is critical for us not to delay—"

"Then why in Arceus' balls are we wasting time here?!" a Tyranitar snarled, glaring at the wincing Chatot and the unfazed founder who was seated on his chair. "We should go there now and end them once and for all!"

The Chatot gulped. "Pl-please calm—"

"I'll calm down when those damn Phantoms are dead!"

The founder slowly turned his purple eyes at the fuming rock-type. His eyes glowed faintly and suddenly, the Chatot on his chair's armrest stood tall with blank, expressionless eyes, his beak opening and closing. "C-calm down..." the bird said in a monotone, making most guild leaders feel a great sense of unease. "We'll need to come up with a p-proper plan in dealing with the Phantoms..."

The Tyranitar gritted his teeth but didn't say anything.

As the glow on the founder's eyes faded, the Chatot suddenly blinked, life and light returning on his eyes as he shook his head before he turned his frowning beak at the bipedal, gray-coated founder. "Sir, please, for the umpteenth time, warn me first before you use me as your vocal cords."

The founder didn't mind him as he slowly drifted his gaze on the edge of the table before him.

The Chatot sighed, ruffled his feathers and nodded at the guild leaders. "Right. So as soon as we received the news, we immediately sent—"

"Drop the crap," a Mightyena said, growling. "Just get to the point already."

The Chatot frowned but nodded nonetheless. "Right..." He cleared his throat. "Ahem. Well, now that we know where they're hiding, we should come up with a plan—a good plan—in dealing with them." He shook his head. "We can't risk this chance and we can't have many casualties." He nodded as his brows furrowed. "We should work together in coming up in a strategy." He looked at each one of them as he continued: "We should set aside our differences and rivalries and work together."

The room fell quiet for a few short seconds before it was broken by a Scizor, who sighed as he closed his eyes. "I was expecting a battle plan, not a sappy speech about holding hands and friendship."

A good number of Pokémon let out quiet chuckles and snickers.

"But the bird's right," a Ninetales nodded her head, turning to the Scizor. "We can't just go there and attack nilly-willy. If we're uncoordinated, the Phantoms might use that to their advantage."

"As expected from you, good looking," a Zebstrika said, earning his colleagues' chuckles and the vixen's rolling eyes.

"Now now," the Chatot called with a small smile. "Let's trouble ourselves with romance after this is all over." He looked at each one of them, blinking. "Now then. Let me list some facts of what we know of the Phantoms. One, they are most likely ghost-types, having the ability to appear and disappear out of thin air."

"True..." a floating Mismagius said.

"Two..."

---

"...Aaaaassssshesssss...?"

"...Aaaaaaaaallllllmoooooooooooost oooooooout..."


Two cloaked figures stood in an underground cavern dimly lit by a large number of faint embers on the ground. Before the two was a small and elevated ground, where most of the embers were gathered. The other end of the platform was attached to the cavern's wall, where the reddish-brown wall had black markings on it.

Suddenly, three more cloaked figures appeared behind the two.

"...Geeeeeet moooooooooore...?"

"...Sssssooooooooooooooooonnnnn..."
one of the two figures close to the platform said.

One of the three newcomers slowly looked around. "...Wheeeeerreeeee iiiiiiissss theeeeeeeeeeee oooooooooootheeeeeeeerrrrrr ooooooooone...?"

---

Deep within the trees on the edge of the large ravines, many stealthy Pokémon kept an eye out at the land formations for any signs of the Phantoms or any Pokémon attempting to go there. Most of them were grass-types, for they could easily and quickly relay messages through the roots of trees and other plant life to the nearest guild.

Despite their alertness, none of them noticed a cloaked figure that materialized on a branch, staring at a few it noticed. It lingered there for a minute or two before it turned to the direction opposite of the ravine and vanished.

Soon after, it materialized once again on another branch, on the opposite end of the forest. There, it stared at the quiet settlement on top of a small hill. It heard a faint commotion but it didn't pay it any attention as it reappeared on the ground. Something was rolling down the small hill, and it caught its attention.

A blue ball was rolling down the slope, and far behind it was a young Machop trying to chase after it. The ball reached the base but kept on rolling and rolling until it bumped and stopped on the end of the figure's cloak.

"Hey mister!" the Machop called as he just got on even ground. He placed his hands on his bent knees as he panted for breath, looking up at the figure. "Can I...hah...have my ball back, please?"

The figure looked at the child for a few seconds before it turned its head down, staring at the ball. "...B-baaaaalllll...?"

"Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeyyy!" a faint voice called from the hill. The two looked up and saw a few more Pokémon waving their hands at the fighting-type. "Hurry up, you slowpoke!"

"Give me a moment!" the Machop shouted back. "It's your fault for throwing it hard!"

"Not my fault you couldn't catch it!" a Riolu shouted back, earning a few chuckles from the others around him.

During the exchange, the figure slowly and carefully picked the ball up by placing the flat sides of its twin blades on the side and pinning the ball in between.

"Those look scary," the Machop said quietly as the figure slowly brought the ball to eye level. "Don't you have, um...normal hands?"

"...Whhhaaaaaaaaat iiiiiisssss thiiiiiissssss...?"

The Machop chuckled, momentarily forgetting about the sharp blades the figure has. "You talk funny. Anyway, that's a ball. And uh, can I have it back?"

The figure slowly extended both its blades forward, ball in between.

The Machop blinked. "Oh... Uh... Can't you throw it? Towards me, I mean."

The figure shuddered slightly. "...Throoooowww iiiiitttt...?"

"Yo! Don't just stand there!"

The Machop looked back and shouted: "Gimme a sec, guys!" He heard the familiar sound of the ball bouncing behind him, and he turned around in time to see the ball stopping on his feet. He looked ahead, but found no one there. "Huh... Where he'd go?" After a few seconds of looking around, he shrugged, picked the ball up and hurriedly climbed the hill up.

A few rescue team members reached the group of children as soon as the Machop finished his climb. They reminded him that he or anyone shouldn't go down unsupervised. But their words fell on deaf ears as the smaller Pokémon quickly returned to playing, leaving the adults sighing in annoyance.

Unbeknownst to them, the figure stood on the branch of the tall trees that circled around the foot of the small hill. It stared at the smiling and laughing children as they passed the ball around as they ran.

"...I dooooooooon't uuuuuuundeeeerstaaaaaaaand..."
 

Bay

6,388
Posts
17
Years
I like that this chapter you have a couple different scenes going on. I feel the second scene fits the prompt a bit better than the first one though as Silver is moreso learning how to concentrate instead of the three learning how to work together on the spot. Either way, though, hopefully Silver learning how to concentrate will pay off.

The last scene I admit I was worried the Phantoms were going to kill those kids. Luckily though that wasn't the case. Looking forward to more!
 
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